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My Pastor Is A Dictator

What should one do if the Pastor is becoming a dictator?

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 ---Carol on 2/19/07
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Some pastors make up their own rules as the go along. It's a case of do as I say or find another church'. When that is the case it's sad that more don't get up and do exactly that and then tell the church's governing body why they left.

Some pastors are in 'the ministry' to serve God and some are in the ministry because it's a 'safe option with benefits'. A near empty offering plate might make them have a rethink.
---andreea on 11/3/15

///Many pastors won't allow a couple who have been married before to walk down the isle. It is up tp the pastor whether he wants to do that or not do that.
---shira4358 on 3/30/15///

Why not? That's bizarre! If people have Bible sound reasons to remarry, e.g., death of previous spouse, desertion & divorced by previous spouse, what's the preacher's magilla? Sounds like legalism to me.
---Leon on 11/2/15

In my family, my wife is A DICTATOR and TYRANT, and I believe women call the shots (Isaiah 3:12) and this be evidence of our living in the last days as the families are falling apart when women rule. I will not vote for a woman as President. (Isaiah 3:12) A pastor once said what ever his view, that is the view of his church.
---Yon on 11/2/15

What about someone who has never been married marrying a divorced person?
---JohnCho on 4/1/15

I was referring to divorced people. People who have lost a spouse thru death is not the same as divorced.
---shira4368 on 3/31/15

Shira, do you mean that some pastors will not marry ANYONE who has been married before. What about widows and widowers or one of those marrying someone who has never married before? Are they all doomed to a civil ceremony because a spouse has died? I hope that you are mistaken on this issue.
---Rita_H on 3/31/15

Many pastors won't allow a couple who have been married before to walk down the isle. It is up tp the pastor whether he wants to do that or not do that.
---shira4358 on 3/30/15

\\My pastor does not allow second time marrying brides to walk the aisle. Thoughts?
---vinny on 3/30/15\\

Why should she?

FWIW, there's a separate Second Marriage service in the Orthodox Church.

Glory to Jesus Christ!
---Cluny on 3/30/15

My pastor does not allow second time marrying brides to walk the aisle. Thoughts?
---vinny on 3/30/15

Leave. Seriously, its that simple.
---larry on 10/27/09

Hebrews 7:12

The Priest hood with their blood sacrifices and what they illustrated was changed to be fulfilled by God's High Priest and Blood of the Lamb, Christ. This is the new covenant, but only in this sense of meaning.

This is why God being all powerful, has not reinstated the blood sacrifices and the temple and a man priesthood for two millenniums!!! Christ now fulfills this. No more of man's temporary imperfect priesthood!

Animals, man could never fulfill the role of priesthood sinless blood atonement.
But the rest outside of the blood of atonement remains in effect for us to walk after to keep, with faith in Christ! Christ lips say we are to keep even the least of the commandments, Matthew 5:19!!
---Paul9594 on 10/26/09

Many of our pastors seem to have been called by their mother not God!!!
---mima on 9/16/09

What WAY is he a dictator? Is he dictatorial in telling you what to believe? (understandable!)
Does he set firm rules about how to behave in church or how to perform parts of the service? Does he tell you how much money to give to the church. Does he demand certain choices in your social or family life?

A "pastor" is to care for the "sheep" This is his responsibility before God.

It's a curious fact that in the middle-east, real-life shepherds LEAD their sheep. In Europe and the USA, sheep go where they are DRIVEN. I suspect most of the Lords "sheep" prefer to be "lead" rather than be "driven"Ps23...The Lord is my shepherd,... he leadeth me beside still waters...
---Donna66 on 9/15/09

These type of questions and comments continue to confirm that the hierachy of Church/Institutions is a great error. There is no such position of "Pastor" as we know it in the Bible. When these people get into power, we know what power does to a person. Subjectively, I've have tried going to a "pastor" to discuss issues, but it is useless to talk to someone who "knows all about spiritual" stuff. Most every one of them has had a "call of God," and how dare someone question the "call of God."
The ministry of Christ should be fulfilled by Christians doing the "work of the Ministry" to "one another," not a "clergical" person.
---Rod4Him on 9/15/09

To think a "pastor" has authority is a great mistake. If no "one another" takes place in discussions, then one of them is not in fellowship with Christ.
I know this may sound harsh, but search the web for definitions and descriptions of a narcissit. I don't know how these people get into places of so-called authority. I think they have the audacity to claim it, and well meaning conscientious people let them do it. Sorry if this sounds harsh. I know there are good well meaning people in those positions. That doesn't mean it is right.
---Rod4Him on 9/15/09

I would take it for a while. Doing only what I felt was of God. For we are to obey God,at all times, rather than man. If it became unbearable at a certain point. I would quietly move on. I might give a resignation(notice), maybe not.All pastors are somewhat of dictators,these days. We support the church but yet never reap any benefits or anything out of the church. If I could feel I was really part of a church family,encouragement or concern, from time to time,that would be good.
---Robyn on 9/15/09

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I see that one of the rules is no web addresses.
So maybe I can just say type in Dictator pastors in Google and a good website comes up that might be of help.
---John on 9/12/09

First step:Show him your love, pray for him everyday, remain faithful to the Church elders.
Second step: make an appointment with him and tell him what you think of him in a very loving manner. Tell him you would like to see him successfully achieve what the Lord has intrusted him. You will see the results.
---TIOWA on 3/15/07

Carol, I agree with Rebecca. You need to talk to the man and if continued attempts mean nothing to him you need to move on. Yes, it hurts but it must be done. If you continue going you are contributing to his pride, and others being deceived.
---faye4464 on 3/14/07

Carol; someone needs to step up, get a backbone and talk to this man. He is just a man doing wrong things. The bible says if he doesn't listen, take two witness to speak to him again, if he still don't listen, take it to the church, he shall be a heathen. Mt 18:14-17. Pray him out of that church, harsh, maybe. But at least you'll have a chance of getting a man of God to Pastor.
---Rebecca_D on 3/1/07

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One man with too much power is dangerous. I am sure he is becoming a dictator. We as christians are not obligated to stay under a pastor like that. I would suggest you move on and quickly.
We as believers need to be in good bible teaching churches where we are being fed the sincere word of God. We need shepherds not dictators.
---robyn on 3/2/07


It is not wrong for you to contact an alder giving him a dopy of Servants In Charge by Keith Bailey (Christian Pubs,Inc) or get a copy of a book from Crewn Financial on church finances, after you read it, and copy good ideas from both.

Who knows, this may be God's calling you to move from being a spectator into being an actor
---John_T on 3/1/07

Hi Guys, This is Carol. Thanks for all your comments. The problem is inner turmoil, because I really love the congregation. The pastor has been there for about 5 years. We have no associate pastor, All mininistries are by his appointment. No kids are allowed in the services.
---carol on 2/28/07

-2- This is Carol. The board finds out about things after he already implements an action. All financial decisions are made by the pastor. Board members are by his appointment and not voted in. Everyone is afraid to confront him or to go over his head in trying to obey christian love.
---carol on 2/28/07

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-3- this is carol--
I hate to leave, I feel this is where God wants me. Others in the congregation feel the same way. It seems to be a one man show. Attendance is dwindling. I have become a spectator, just waiting to see what will happen.
---carol on 2/28/07

dear John: I think you are right, what I said can lead someone to start a rebellion and I agree that is not the best way. I tried to mean that in the bible it says that for complains against an elder you need two witnesses or something like that. anyhow, the best thing to do is to go directly to the pastor and tell him what wrong is he doing, AFTER READING THE WHOLE BIBLE. we don't have untouchable popes in christian churches, we all are brothers and if the pastor is wrong, exposing him is a must.
---george on 2/25/07

The hot topics are easily found. I think some post when they're in a fix. It resolves itself or they're sitting in their divorce attorney's office; they're standing at the altar or have run off to Elvis' chapel in Vegas; they become embarrassed or it's no longer important. We're left to wonder if they'll return, they don't and we move on, Next.
---Paul on 2/24/07

Carol,I advise you to seek another church. Anyone, including pastors, who think they know everything and you should never disagree with them is not of Christ. Pride is from the devil, plain and simple. A dictator operates in pride. Your pastor is not your father, God is. God has sent the Holy Spirit to abide in everyone who believes.
---faye4464 on 2/23/07

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I think people are having trouble finding their question after they post it because of the new format.
---Susie on 2/23/07


Since the first day of the post, people have been asking for more data. You have not responded.

---Observer on 2/23/07

Carol, It is impossible for any of us to give you the right advice unless you give us the details. For all we know he could be serving the Lord and you could be just rebellious. You heard about itchy ears, haven't you?
---christian on 2/22/07

Carol, why do you think he is becoming a dictator? Your not giving us any real info, here. All we have is your opinion. You could be right or you could be wrong. Please elaborate.
---a_christian on 2/21/07

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Stepheng...You are absolutely right about her going to the pastor directly. That is the Biblical way to handle a problem with another Christian. The only problem is that this is probably one of the non-denominational churches where the pastor is the board and there is nobody over him.
---Susie on 2/21/07

George: "get the opinions of many different people." Getting the opinions from many different people will only confuse the person. The world has too many opinions as it is and just hides the truth.
---Steveng on 2/20/07

Take the suggestion from the Bible. Approach him personally about the issue you have. If he doesn't strighten up, bring up the issue to him with two or more people. If he doesn't straighten up, go over his head. If there isn't anyone above him, either get another preacher or leave the church.
---Steveng on 2/20/07

Waiting for Carol to tell us how this pastor is being a dictator!!!
---Susie on 2/20/07

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george. You mean go and do what they did in Ex.16? Like Korah? Go and find some others who agree with you? Don't you think the pastor has read his bible and talked about it and devloped his ideas?
You are condoning and encouraging rebellion with your advice.
---john on 2/20/07

Jack is correct, you need to elaborate more before any here can help.

For example it is good to take a firm stand against outright sin within the body. It is another thing to "create a sin" then preach against it.

More details, please.
---Observer on 2/20/07

Carol-I sat under a Pastor for 3 years and he began to control what his sheep, could and couldn't do. His church was only 20 people, but he was believing God for 400. I left when he preached against me from the pulpit because I told him I was leaving his church and going to another one that God was leading me to go to. Eight weeks later, God closed him down. PRAY ABOUT IT. ASK FATHER GOD WHAT TO DO!!!!! Let God lead and guide you into ALL truth here, okay sweetie? (((huggs))))
---donna6598 on 2/20/07

The people will have cause to rejoice or mourn according as their rulers are Righteous or Wicked.===Jesus is the ultimate authority in any Christian's life. Also, we are to submit to all Authorites as unto the Lord. Now, folks, These are some scriptures. Not one but three. There are others. Have a good day.
---catherine on 2/20/07

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I suggest to read the whole bible by yourself, and study it. get the opinions of many different people. Shape your views. And pray to God for guidance. Following another man blindly is one of the worst mistakes people do. Think by yourself and do your homework!. After that, quietly speak with the pastor about your thoughts. See if anyone in the congregation has a complaint like that and go together talk to him. Follow Jesus don't follow men.
---george on 2/19/07

It may be good to remember that we as Christians are supposed to be part of an unseen kingdom and the pastor should be whom the Lord anoints and he should have all control in obediance and submission to the Lord.
---Frank on 2/19/07

Be ready to clarify what one means by "The pastor is becoming a dictator."
---Jack on 2/19/07

'Shepherding or covering movement' church?

Submission to our leaders is biblical, shepherding movement has mistaken "obedience" for "submission." To "submit" is not to give up our own reasoning and blindly follow the advice of a shepherd. "Shepherding" - Christians cannot "live for themselves", do whatever they please, without regard to the good of the group. Christians can't simply do what a shepherd says without analyzing spiritual consequences.
---Cindy on 2/19/07

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I don't know of a pastor who hasn't been accused of that at one time. Any one who is in authority anywhere has the right to do some dictating. Either you submit or just quietly leave but don't cause a lot of divisions. It's not worth it.
---john on 2/19/07

Is he giving orders in God's command or just giving orders?
---Rebecca_D on 2/19/07

If you mean he is trying to guide you into a better Christian life, then listen to him. But, if he is just being a busy-body about everything, find another church.
---Susie on 2/19/07

You need to explain a lot more about specific issues you have. Likewise is your church affiliated with a national denomination? Does you church have By Laws? Does your church have an effective committee structure? Does your church have outside audits of financial records. Is the Congregation responsible for calling and dismissing a pastor? If your church has proper controls then you can't have an environment where a pastor can abuse the position. If most of the answere are no, find another church!!!
---Phil_the_Elder on 2/19/07

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Find another church with a pastor who exemplifies the Lord's gracious loving compassion towards His people.
---Madison1101 on 2/19/07

Run away from that church as fast as you can. Pastors are to be undershepards to Christ and lead the sheep with love,not be a dictator leading a cult which caters to him. That is what religious dictators are aiming for to take the worship off God and place it on themselves that all obey them instead of God. They are blemishes on the world of Christianity and heretics teaching false doctrine which lead the weak astray.
---Darlene_1 on 2/19/07

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