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Coping With Anger

A friend has a problem with anger. What is the best way to cope with it?

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 ---martha on 2/21/07
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Anger management is a good start, but keeping a far distance is a good idea too.
---olivia on 3/9/08


If you walk by the Spirit of God, you will NOT carry out the deeds of the flesh. Your friend should fill himself/herself up with the word of God. The more he/she does that, the more life and the more of Jesus they will have inside of them. "By the Spirit, we are putting to death the deeds of the flesh." Walk by the Spirit and you won't fulfill the deeds of the flesh.
---donna6598 on 2/27/07


That's good, I hope the situation improves for you. In a work environment, if management supports the anger bully, others are left to tolerate it, or find another job.
---Rottweiler on 2/26/07


Rottweiler, yes others do pacify the bully because they are afraid of atmospheres at any event where we would both be. I now avoid ever being in the same place. It is for everyone else's benefit and my own sanity. Sometimes I think we have to simply remove ourselves from a situation. I pray for the person but will not be intimidated and bullied. This is not a work setting and no others involved are Christians so I'm very much on my own in this.
---m.p.a. on 2/25/07


I also mentioned not to let it rub off on you. Anger is contagious, it begets more anger. Toxic. You might have a bipolar or some other disorder on your hands. Don't let yourself be pulled into the web of guilt. Most people pacify an anger bully just to shut or turn off the anger. It doesn't work. It's a form of control and abuse, and so is the guilt that you're not loving your brother.
---Rottweiler on 2/23/07




My coworker used anger to manipulate an entire office. They have perfected the art of smooching up to the boss, spend hours in the boss's office. This person avoids work and leaves it for everyone else to complete. If we question this angry coworker, they run to the boss for every incident. The anger/control mode is complete. The boss is sick of hearing complaints and pacifies, coworkers pacify and the angry person is destroying an office.
---Rottweiler on 2/23/07


This worker is expected to climb microwave towers. They cannot because of obesity. So anger has become a "skill". They lie, slander, lash out, sit in the boss's office and stir it up to avoid work. Everyone is giving in to keep this loud, angry mouth shut. Work has to be completed, we make sure it's done, while they sit and play on the computer. Whatever you do, don't take on the guilt, too. It's control and manipulation.
---Rottweiler on 2/23/07


mpa, how have you approached this person? Did you send them anything in writing? E-mails, memos; have you written anything to the boss? If you have, this will stoke the anger fires. If you're brought it everyone's attention, the solution may be for you to find another job. It usually does not improve if the job sides up with the angry person.
---Rottweiler on 2/23/07


"It's also a coping mechanism to compensate for a miserable life." Rottweiler and "Anger management is a good start, but keeping a far distance is a good idea too." Olivia - I agree. I'm in a situation where my suggestion of anger management has brought about even more anger and have now decided to 'keep my distance'. The problem now is that I am accused of 'not loving my brother'. It's a no win situation for me but I avoid so that I can no longer be accused of bringing out the anger.
---m.p.a. on 2/23/07


The only way to deal with anger is to believe that the Lord Jesus Christ took the sin of anger on the Cross, confess it to Him, and ask Him to set you free.
---Helen_5378 on 2/22/07




Copeing with anger in myself would be absolutely impossible, if Jesus was not constantly helping me. Didn't I tell you that He chooses the weak and the foolish thing of this world. How does God do it? I do not know. I see myself getting better and better everyday. I will say this, it's about time. [Six and half years in the wilderness.]
---catherine on 2/22/07


Since the ome with the anger problem is a friend and not you there's only so much you can do. Does this person admit to having a problem? are they christian? Is the problem a physical threat to you or others? In any case, prayer is benificial, seek God's leading in this. Safety is a primary concern.
---Christina on 2/21/07


It could be a low self-esteem problem. I work with an obese coworker that uses a sharp tongue and body size, to literally throw their weight around. It's a way of life now to bully others. It's also a coping mechanism to compensate for a miserable life. People give in and pacify this person to avoid the bully. Privately, they run away. Until the angry person acknowledges they have a problem, or you want to be the one to lower the boom, don't let it rub off on you. It's toxic.
---Rottweiler on 2/21/07


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