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Does Divorce Harm Children

A married woman with 3 children aged 4 to 8 thinks that divorce will not do any harm to her children. Could some of you please give your opinion on this?

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 ---john on 3/2/07
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I will give my opinion as a child of divorce. Divorce hurts everyone. However, the effects vary on how one deals with divorce. In my experience, even though my dad and stepdad failed my mom, she was there for my brothers and I. She encouraged us to do well in school, etc. She raised four kids, in fact all of us (or will in June) graduated from high school. I have a college degree. Yes, there are emotional scars I deal with, but with the right support, children can heal and will get through the divorce.
---Katie on 4/22/08


I have been married to a man for 8 years that is divorced with 2 children. The kids are currently 11 & 12. I have watched these 2 kids grow up with severe problems due to the divorce of their parents, from bad grades to bad attitudes, fighting etc.... Though every situation is different and some people can co-parent efficiently the child still is effected sometimes through re-marriage, new children, communication problems between the 2 divorcees, etc... marriage=patients+sacrifice
---Ondrea on 4/21/08


You know John,
I share your concern when it come to trying to explain to someone that is pursuing divorce it rally depends on why they are parting, then you may have a point of where to start. Biblically there cannot be no true separation accept there be fornication after that the worlds full of excuses. The children will almost definitely if there has been Violence/ abuse/physical or mental tread carefully!!!!
---Carla5754 on 8/28/07


Divorce never ends, it just keeps on destroying all in its path. The children are always the ones who suffer most,they have no say in the matter. If abuse or adultry is not in the picture and one wants to end a marriage,let them go. they will poison your entire family if they havent already. And they will reap what they sow.
---carol on 3/23/07


Divorce always hurts children, and this kind of damage is long lasting. Of course, spousal abuse and or child abuse is also damaging. The reasons for seeking a divorce need to be evaluated, if there is danger of physical or emotional harm, then the divorce is necessary; however, that isn't the problem, then marriage counciling should be the first option. Divorce is such a horrible thing to do to children, which is why people should be better prepared before they get married.
---lorra8574 on 3/3/07




First of all, you took vows to The Lord, have you fasted and petitioned to The Lord for help, He knows the problem and has the answer. Satan is the mastermind behind this, but you need to know how and why, I can help, if this divorce succeeds your children will carry your curse, and keep doing it, fight back
---Stephen on 3/3/07


Divorce does hurt everyone involved. I have gone through it. We are all broken, we live in a broken world, and none of us can cast the first stone. God loves us, not because we deserve it. I would never recommend divorce, but there are instances where separation is a must. Take everything to Jesus and don't accept condemnation from anyone. Know that Jesus will never condemn you.
---Deb on 3/3/07


Divorce hurts children. This is a no brainer.
---Guy on 3/3/07


A woman like this will never listen to anybody. She is consumed with herself. She doesn't care how many lives are turned upside down or who she harms in the pursuit of what she thinks will make her happy. She claims no more love for her husband. Yeah, so what. She made a vow before Almighty God and a contract with her husband, but these things never matter when they interfere with the desires of self. The only hope is that the children are surrounded by praying Christian family and friends.
---ralph7477 on 3/3/07


She sounds like my best friend 3 years ago. Since leaving her husband, her 3 teenage boys all started using drugs & became sexually active (one at 14). The older two now live with their father 1000 miles away & she misses them terribly. She is in counseling because of guilt over feeling that she abandoned her children & she experiences nightmares. The rosey, ideal life did not work for her. Divorce is sin. Sin may seem pleasurable for a time but there is never blessing in it. Sin is a trap (Genesis 4:7).
---DoryLory on 3/3/07




The children suffer more than the grown-ups do. The parents lash out onto the kids not meaning to because of being angry at their spouse. (maybe not physically, but mentaly). They don't realize they are hurting them. because they are blinded by anger and hurt. If your friend thinks her divorce won't hurt her children, she is dead wrong.
---Rebecca_D on 3/2/07


I'd like as many replies as I can seeing that she isn't taking my advice too sincerely. I will bring these replies to her. She is just not happy and claims to not be in love with her husband. There is no abuse or immorality involved.
---john on 3/2/07


Parents need to love one another so the children don't end up dysfunctional and with emotional problems.
---a_loser on 3/2/07


notlaw99 has put the matter well.

Which is better for the children: divorce and living in a one parent household? Or living in a home with both parents who are constantly fighting and even cursing each other in front of the children and one is always trying to manipulate the children against the other?
---Jack on 3/2/07


Children will end up being the victims either way. If there is a danger of abuse; always separate or divorce. The Children will just have to cope with the situation. If you separate or divorce and are still civil toward each other, just insure the the children understand that your separation is not their fault and don't use the children as leverage against each other. If you stay together simply for the sake of the children, they will eventually understand that you marriage is a sham.
---notlaw99 on 3/2/07


Any woman who thinks that divorce will not hurt her children is self-centered and cares little about her children or has absolutely no common sense. Been there done that. Regardless of the reasons for the divorce the children will be affected for years to come. They are already being harmed by any problems in the home.
---Susie on 3/2/07


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