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Marry Pregnant Girlfriend

My son is a Christian who has fallen and gotten his girlfriend pregnant. He told me and my wife of this situation before he knew she was pregnant and we told him he must repent and abstain from this. She recieved Jesus but come to find out it was a false confession. Should he marry her?

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 ---John on 3/5/07
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John first how do you know your son's confession wasn't the false one?
Ages come into play here and a lot of other things.
Pregnancy is a poor excuse for getting married.
Your son has not yet fallen in love with her spirit but only her body. Marriage needs to wait.
---Elder on 3/15/08

This is a hard question but I will do my best. Does your son love this young lady I understand what has happen, the wright thing would be to marry her if they love each other, he must do the wright thing and take care of his responsiblty, but the worst thing is to force him to marry and then they out after the baby is born that they don't get along. Your son and this young lady should pray about this God will give them the answer.
---Marva on 3/19/07

BOTH are wrong for what went on and BOTH have to make the decision of how this will be resolved. I don't see the point of discrediting the girl for not having a testimony since your son defiled his with her in the first place. The stable door will be difficult to close now the horse has actually bolted. I guess all he needs to establish is what will now happen with he baby.
---Carla5754 on 3/12/07

I guess he got what he wanted since he was warned and continued. As parents you defend his position of steppin up to his responsibilities BUT unless these two actually love each other??? marriage is out of the question. So he would be wise to be there for her throughout the pregnancy and leave her well alone she is about to go through some major changes and another child is exactly whats on the agenda if he suffers with the Flesh!.
---Carla5754 on 3/12/07

"I think they should just stay together for awhile, not thinking of marriage."

Rebecca...I'm sorry if I misunderstood this comment. I guess you meant that they should just keep up a relationship without having sexual relations. Maybe we have all forgotten that this is the mother asking this question and not the son. The son is probably doing what he wanted to do anyway.
---Susie on 3/10/07

Suzie: I agree that lust is the problem. Children are no longer taught in strong value and moral homes. They are no longer taught that prayer, scripture study and fearing God keeps them out of trouble. there are too many that follow the sins of the flesh and don't care anymore. it is easier to do what they want without fearing repercussions for their actions. just fifty years ago, the couple would have been shamed for their actions. We live in a Godless society now. people follow Satan and not God.
---Dave on 3/10/07

Susie: So they sinned. I had my son before I got married. I was a sinner then. But guess what? It is under the blood. What God puts under the blood, stays under the blood. God does not remind us by saying, "Remember when you done this?" This couple needs God, but most importantly the woman needs to be saved. We should be praying for her soul instead of aruging.
---Rebecca_D on 3/9/07

Dave...Which world do you live in? The world doesn't have to love anyone to lay down with them. This is a couple who chose to commit fornication because of their lust, not love.
---Susie on 3/9/07

This situation is one sin compounded on top of another until now, both face the problem they have. If they both loved each other enough to lie down with each other before marriage, they should love each other enough to get married, or they should have abstained. this is typical satan influenced world actions. now they need to right the wrong and raise the child in a happy, loving home, so the child does not suffer because of their sins. who knows, perhaps love will grow and everything will work out.
---Dave on 3/8/07

Does people comment on what I say without reading my reply? Susie re-read my post, I never said they should get married. I said I've been through what they are going through with now. I am not suggesting they "live together". They both can become good parents without getting married.
---Rebecca_D on 3/8/07

As the mother of three grown sons, I can understand this situation perfectly. At no time would I ever tell any of my sons to live with someone outside of marriage. There is no reason the young man cannot be a father to this child without marrying the mother. To advise anyone else to commit sin is not a good characteristic of someone who says they are called into the ministry.
---Susie on 3/8/07

MikeP..Your statement regarding the woman at the well is totally false. First of all, she had had five husbands and the one she was with at the time was not her husband according to Jesus. And, Jesus did not tell her to stay with that man. Read the story in the Fourth Chapter of John.
---Susie on 3/8/07

Rebecca....If you were as OLD as I am and have been through as much as I have you would not be giving advice like this. I can name at least two dozen couples who graduated from high school with me whose parents forced them to marry due to a pregnancy. Everyone of them were divorced years ago and in many cases there have been multiple marriages for both parties involved. And I grew up in the middle of the Bible Belt!
---Susie on 3/8/07

Anonymous: Just because one says a few words to God, doesn't make them a Christian. If God isn't dealing with the heart of the person, they can say all the words to God they want, their not saved, and they won't be until there is conviction. This isn't the first couple to commit fornication, and it sure isn't the last. They both need God more ways than one, but marrying for the wrong reason will lead into a troubling divorce.
---Rebecca_D on 3/7/07

John, if it was a false confession, then she isn't a Christian. Why doesn't she become one? What is so hard about saying the sinners prayer and repenting and walking with the Lord? Your son should take full responsibility for his child, father it, provide for it, and be the father that child needs to be, but I'm not so sure about marrying a non-Christian that is unbiblical, but so is committing fornication.
---Anonymous on 3/7/07

Sexual relationships carry the same weight as marriage in God's eyes: God allows divorce because of adultery; and, Jesus told the woman with six husbands to stay with the man she is currently living with. Your son is already 'married' because of his sexual relationship with this woman. It's a little late to be concerned about her salvation now; your son should marry her, provide for her and their child, learn to love her as Christ loved the church and, if need be, win her to the Lord with his example.
---Mike_P. on 3/7/07

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This is a poor reason for marriage, but he should take responsibility for the child and help his girlfriend with the preparation and raising of the child. If, after the child is born, they want to become a family, then encourage them to do so. Simply, without a lot of fanfare, and with a good talk with their pastor.
---lorra8574 on 3/6/07

How many of you have walked in their shoes? If you have then you can give personal advice. If you haven't then don't tell them what you would do, because you don't know what you would do if in the same situation.
---Rebecca_D on 3/6/07

Susie; Like I said, I've been there, and I know what their going through with. It is just like people to judge without thinking. So this couple should go their seperate ways because they sinned? What about the child? What would you do Susie if it were your kids? If you have not been in their shoes, you shouldn't give advice. You said "Just because a girl is pregnant, doesn't mean they should get married". And you tell me different.
---Rebecca_D on 3/6/07

Susie, I don't know if you are aware but Rebecca D has also given advice along the lines of, "Go ahead and divorce because God would rather have you happy than in a loveless marriage." Much of her advice is flesh-centered not grounded in obedience to Christ.
---Ryan on 3/6/07

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"I think they should just stay together for awhile, not thinking of marriage"

Of course, they should stay together and keep on committing FORNICATION!!! How can you say that you are called into the ministry and tell someone to commit a sin???
---Susie on 3/6/07

John: I got pregnant before marriage. My boyfriend (at the time) and I were sinners at the time. My son was born in May, 1999 and we got married in June. Since I have been through this, I think they should just stay together for awhile, not thinking of marriage. They should think long and hard about marriage. I know that I will get alot of blah from that. but since then my husband and I got saved in 2000, and God called him to preach and me to sing. so things can work out for the glory of God.
---Rebecca_D on 3/6/07

Dear John, Something very unusual happened when I was writing this to you I got an electrical kind of charge on my skin a feeling that she is carrying a son, and to tell you that, this boy will yearn for his real, not other, but REAL FATHER, this little guy is going to want to be closer to his father, than his mother. I could be wrong, this is not cast in stone, but this is what I am sensing, please send me a blog, nine months from now, I hope you will let us know the outcome.
---Cynthia_1 on 3/6/07

Your son has now sealed the deal. He will now need to make the sacrifices that all of us parents make, If he is a christian, he needs to do the honerable thing before God, and raise his son, in the fear and admonition of God, not just plant a seed and abandon, the two of them need to get together and decide to marry or not, none of us can determine that, but this child will need his father, exactly how your son needed you. God will hold him accountable.
---Cynthia_1 on 3/6/07

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Sin bring terrible consequences with it. Your son needs to take responsbility for this baby but he is not obligated to marry this girl. He could but this has to be a decision between them. A lot of questions need to be answered. Is he in love with this girl, to begin with? Pray and ask the Lord for guidance. Blessings
---robyn on 3/5/07

No, it is not necessary for him to marry her, but arrangements should be made for providing for the baby. Marriage is a life-time committment. Sit down and all concerned talk, and make godly decisions.
---carol on 3/5/07

The situation you explain shows two people removed from the obedience of the Son. To be a Christian means to be "Christ-Like" their situation and lifestyle is not Christ-like. You will know them by their fruits, your sons fruit is to have sexual relations outside of marriage, defile himself and his girlfriend and your asking if they should get married? That would be a good first step, but it sounds as though there are deeper, fleshly issues to be dealt with.
---Ryan on 3/5/07

Adding another mistake to the ones already made is not going to help. Unless this girl is a Christian it is clear that there will be an unequal union. He should take some responsibility and arrange for some support for his child when it is born.
---john on 3/5/07

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No, he should not marry her just because she is pregnant. That is a bad idea. He is legally responsible for financially supporting his child, and should seek legal advice concerning vistitation rights.
---Madison1101 on 3/5/07

Just because a girl is pregnant does not mean that they should get married. But, your son does need to stand up and be the father for this child. If your son is over 18 and wants to marry this girl, then you should support them in their decision. A child deserves both parents when at all possible.
---Susie on 3/5/07

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