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Surviving Adultery Alone

I'm having problems surviving adultery. I have forgiven her but it still haunts me. Can adultery be forgiven?

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 ---MK on 3/23/07
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Well said Rhonda, I agree.
---Nana on 5/12/10


Biblically this is not permitted for women, women are to remain with God if there is no reconciliation possible!!!!
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IMPLIED an idea unsupported by scripture ...simply giving religious OPINION

religious christianity claims Christ abolished laws yet somehow PUNISHING the innocent sinners spouse ...religious christianity serves an unmerciful god punishing innocent for mistakes of another

The Father in Heaven is loving merciful and spouse is free to remarry once divorcing a habitual adulterous spouse...only religious christianity punishes the just ALONG with the wicked claiming it comes from a god

otherwise you would understand contradiction you propose in misunderstanding scripture and more importantly Gods Laws
---Rhonda on 5/8/10


I have to correct my last post when I said you are at liberty to remarry again. I was always told that the fornication clause is down to both parties on careful examination of the scriptures there are no words that express remarriage in the New Testament and stand corrected.

I do believe that the word gives one clause for Putting away which is for fornication in the event of divorce but it does not state re-marriage. Therefore Forgiveness is all you could be left with and hard it may seem, Love hides all things, changes things and covers all things.

Therefore your going to need to undertand how to love as Christ did, when he forgave Mary of Adultery and took her in as his own.
---Carla on 5/7/10


Your wife being an adulterer cannot by Gods Law of Marriage remarry. Although she most probably will.

If there are no children and she has not fully repented. You are at liberty to to marry a saved Christian woman. Matt 19:9

But if you choose to forgive her thats even better to remain married.

Biblically this is not permitted for women, women are to remain with God if there is no reconciliation possible!!!!

Adam was formed first and not Eve, Eve was taken from Adam, Not Adam taken From Eve He was not deceived first. For this reason a woman is not in the front line of remarriage God represents her abandoned husband.
---Carla on 5/6/10


adultery,the forgiveness came instantly its the forgetting that is tough. survived 3 years of my husbands sobriety from drugs and alcohol to discover the ultimate betrayal, 2 known affairs. I think of this as a moral relaspe for him. spent 3 months seperated, back together to hold on to this marriage. The comparrison I have is trauma. nothing is the same for me today, trust is hard to rebuild. daily jolts, remind me of the betrayal I have endured. I live with this daily pain, how could he have done this he knew from the begining how I thought about being betrayed like this. I am still a married woman of 13 years, I did not go into this to get out of this, I pray that this is as much a priority to my husband as it is to me moving forward.
---melanie on 5/5/10




MK The trouble may lie in the definition of forgiven.

Sometimes if things aren't talked about in depth then the level of emotional hurt we are feeling isn't fully understood by us.

If we don't even know how deep the hurt is how can the forgiveness be complete?

If I were you I'd get a good counseler and sit down with the wife and YES dredge the whole thing up.
---Pharisee on 9/8/07


Yes, it can, but you will have to grow in your relationship by mutual trust that comes from proving that you both are trustworthy. Being open, honest, sincere and sharing one's emotional 'everything' with each other. Being best friends in all. You cannot build a relationship without God as your foundation. More info. Junia 6337
---Junia on 3/25/07


I've always heard, forgive and forget. It isn't that easy to forgive let alone forget it. It won't be easy to get over it as some have said to me. My ex husband was unfaithful in our marriage. Why he went to someone else, heaven only knows. But I've forgiven him, and then I was set free from the pain. If you dwell on it, it will drive you crazy. It is good that you forgave her. But she must ask God to forgive her as well as yourself. You may not forget it, for you know it happened.
---Rebecca_D on 3/24/07


MK::Its your cross Carry it or lay it down .Only help is in Forgiving.when you find it hard try putting her shoe on Your foot,she must be suffering too.Try to feel her offence.
---Emcee on 3/24/07


On a paper write honestly what hurt you,how it made you feel. Ask yourself whether you did anything that drove them to adultery.On another paper write things that you did and never thought could be forgiven but were forgiven. Ask yourself why you find it so difficult to release another person. Go before God and tell Him exactly how all this has affected you and i pray the Holy spirit will minister to your inner man and release you from the bondage that keeps lurking in the shadows of your mind.
---Achieng on 3/24/07




As I've said before, there are layers to forgiveness, like peeling an onion.

Sometimes, the best you can do is to WILL yourself to forgive, even if you don't FEEL like you've forgiven.

Be patient with yourself and keep on forgiving her.
---Jack on 3/24/07


Yes it can, if you let God help you. If you truly love her, and she is truly sorry, and shows it, promises that it will never happen again, than yes. God would have forgiven Judas had he given Him a chance, had he repented and begged forgiveness, instead he compunded his sin with suicide. Jesus took all our sins upon himself, he forgave us. We should seek to follow His example and forgive wherever possible. You have been given a chance to forgive a big sin, look upon the opportunity as a gift from God.
---Alan on 3/24/07


God forgives all who come to Him asking for forgiveness. Now question is, have you truly forgiven her for her adultery? It's normal to feel betrayed, violated and backstabbed by someone who has claimed to love you and commited adultery. But if you have chosen to stay with this person, then you have to genuinely forgive and forget. Never bring it up again and when satan tries to invade your thoughts with this incident rebuke him. It's hard, but you can do it.
---Yolanda on 3/23/07


When I read this:
2 Cor 6:13-20, Eph 5:3, Gal.5;16, 19-21
Rom. 13:9,13, Col 3:5, 1Tim. 4:3,
2 Peter 2:14,Rev. 2:14,20,Rev. 21:8, and Rev 22:15 When I read these I do not wish to sin. I really want to see God and live eternally with Him and NOT IN HELL WITH THE devil.
Then Romans 6: we can be forgiven and dead to sin, that is not wish to sin .
Study your Bible everyday and God will reveal His will to you.
Leona
---Leona on 3/23/07


I understand what you are going through as I have been down that road. God can and will help you through this. You have two choices ... you can become "better" or you can become "bitter".

Seek Abba Father, talk to Him ... yell, cry and scream if you need to ... GOD can handle it. Please do lots of praying for you, for your wife and for the person she committed adultery with. Ask God to help you to forgive and to heal your hurting, angry heart.
---Mary on 3/23/07


First of all if you are still haunted you really have not forgiven her. When you forgive someone the sin is taking away and not remember.
Colossians 1:14
In whom we have redemption through his blood, [even] the forgiveness of sins: Pray to God ask him to open your heart to your wife that you truely will forgive her.
I also pray that she has repented of her sin.
Ellen9599
---ellen9599 on 3/23/07


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Forgiveness comes from the Lord. Look at all your sins He forgave you. Then ask the question again.
---Lloyd on 3/23/07


I will give that a qualified Yes. A Christian is able with Gods help to forgive anything. There is a problem with forgeting however and with the pain envolved with the betrayel of this sacred act. This is the only cause that the Lord allows one to divorce a partner for. Seek the Lord to heal your pain and let Him lead you into what you need to do if you find unforgiveness persists.
---Jody on 3/23/07


sure you want to forgive her,thats greatnow that you have you make the decision not to let satan use it to destroy you.GOD is mercy HE will help you with the hurt when the thought comes up we stand on the word i have given it to JESUS i have been there speak the word with your mouth out loud to over come it 2 corenthians10;5
---tony on 3/23/07


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