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Pastor's Daughter Is Wild

A pastor that I know has a daughter that has been married for 10 years. She was a virgin when she got married. Now she is running loose and immoral. Some say this pastor should step down from his ministry. Do you think he should or is she the responsibility of the husband only?

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 ---john on 4/1/07
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What can the Pastor do to her? She is an adult. She can make her own decisions. And the bad decisions she makes is on her not her Dad. This man shouldn't step down. If he does then he is giving the Devil what he wants. Satan will use family members, co-workers, to come against you and cause conflict. What good would it do if the Pastor did step down?
---Rebecca_D on 10/29/07


`Another reason I dont like religion.
---sue on 10/29/07


This man is not responsible for his daughter's behavior. She is an adult and she is responsible for her behavior. It is ridiculous to blame the father for the daughter's poor choices. He did his job and raised her to adulthood. Now she is God's responsibility, not her husband's.
---Madison1101 on 10/29/07


Can any adult be held accountable for the actions of another adult, especially is she is over 28 years old?

The position is absurd, legalistic, and beyond comprehension.
---John_T on 4/6/07


John...The question now is, "Have you learned anything from this experience?" I always ask my grown sons this question when they go through a trial. Life is a growing experience and we learn from every minute of it.
---Susie on 4/6/07




Why on earth should he step down from his Position/responsibility? her marriage is not anything to do with his duty to God, His duty includes praying for his daughter as well as the church but to step down, Step down and do what exactly? Her husband has a responsibility to her and like wise,if that is the way she decides to go, only prayer and fasting will help her if she wants to repent?
---Carla5754 on 4/6/07


Susie. Thanks for your answers. I know it's very unwise to hear just one side. This blog was not intended to disclose any side except that the pastor of the daughter is under fire by some who think that his family is out of order and thus he should resign. I see from the results that people unanimously agree that his daughters behavior does not require him to step down from the ministry. Thanks you all for your answers. I agree with you.
---john on 4/6/07


Let he who is without sin cast the first stone.

The sins of the daughters shall not be visited upon the fathers. However, the pastor was not called by revelation through a living prophet, as was Aaron, so he should admit the truth and come unto Jesus.
---Robert on 4/5/07


It sounds to me like the pastor must have done something right, since she was a virgin when she got married. He should not have to step down, that is very wrong to even think, scripture says all have sin and fallen short of the glory of God, and that goes for pastor's daughters as well as the daughter of a mechanic.
---Jared on 4/5/07


why do people think pastors are super humans, we are human just like everyone else we make mistakes and so do our families, the only difference is everyone is watching us. Give us some credit. We are saved by grace just like everyone else.
---Jared on 4/5/07




anyway it sounds like she is an adult if she's been married for 10 years, she may not even listen to her father, kids do rebel against the parents you know. How can an adult be held responsible for their adult children. I don't even know if you could hold the husband responsible since he can't legally force his wife to live any way other than the way she wants.
---Jared on 4/5/07


The pastor should not step down from ministry. His daughter is adult and married. If she were still at home that would be different. Titus 1:6 is often used in cases like this, but it applies to children at home. If his daughter attends his church then he should deal with her inside the church.
---Helen_5378 on 4/5/07


John...Did it ever occur to you that you are hearing only the husband's side of this story? My grandmother used to say that in the case of marital problems there were three sides: His side, Her side, and the RIGHT side. What's really sad is that you have no idea how to handle this situation and you are the pastor. Maybe you should reconsider your career.
---Susie on 4/4/07


John, as a pastor and leader in the church, you are instructed to go to the person in rebellion and confront them. If they won't listen, you are to take one or two with you and go again. Now, what does the Word say if that person then listens, repents, and wants to be restored? THAT person is responsible for their own actions - NOT the father and NOT the husband. Did the father of the prodigal son "step down?"
---Crystal on 4/4/07


Jack. I don't know why you would think this is none of my business. The husband has come to me as I am his friend. I'm also a pastor and people make it my business. The pastor of that church has heard that some people think he should step down because his family is out of order. I thought I'd ask my friends here what they thought. How can this possibly be gossip if not a single name is mentioned and there are thousands of miles between us?
---john on 4/3/07


"You don't throw out the baby with the bath water." That's what you would be doing in the case of wanting the pastor to quite because of his married daughter's actions. It would be a different story if she was living at home and un-married. Once married, the parents have "surrendered" their influence unless asked. (At least that's the way it should be.)
---wivv on 4/3/07


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if every pastor stepped down whose children did imoral things, we would be in trouble for sure.. God does the judging.
---jim on 4/2/07


John...I will make one suggestion. This woman's husband needs to find someone else in whom to confide besides yourself. Also, nobody is responsible for this woman's actions except herself. Her husband is not responsible for her actions. And, her father is certainly nowhere near responsible. The thought of anyone else being responsible other than the woman is ridiculous.
---Susie on 4/2/07


once she leaves her parents house she is her husbands responsibility, tohugh her father needs to speak to her,maybe he needs to speak to her husband too.
---candice on 4/2/07


She is a grown woman with a husband. While the father should certainly pray for his daughter and give advice, he can only do so much. Stepping down from his ministry would not solve anything.
---lorra8574 on 4/2/07


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Billy Graham has had problems in his family.
He didn't step down because of his children.
---Tim on 4/2/07


As a parent whether you are a pastor or not, you can only train up a child, but the child still has a choice to become and do whatever they choose to do. If God's ability to stay on the throne depended on our actions, he never would have made it, let alone been questioned to step down.
---Clara on 4/2/07


Second time of posting:

No one, not even a pastor, is responsible for the choices made by adult children. It is not the father's business--and it's not YOURS, either.

And John, how do YOU know that she was a virgin at the time of her marriage? Did you perform the gynecological exam yourself?
---Jack on 4/2/07


**Susie. Her husband told me she was a virgin when they married.**

And why would he tell you that? Is it any of your business, John?

**No, I haven't seen her run loose myself but she has admitted to her latest ongoing affair to her husband and family.**

My, you really know a lot about this woman and her family secrets--and you blab them all over the 'net. You say you know her transgression. Do you also know her repentance?
---Jack on 4/2/07


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**My Pastor has five children and as far as I know all of them are lost**

What a terrible burden it must be, Rebecca D, to know the spiritual state of people.

It must be a tremendous relief from your burdens to report it to the world on these blogs.
---Jack on 4/2/07


Oh absolutely not. As long as God has called Him to preach He should stay with it. If God wants Him out God will take Him out. Case closed.
---catherine on 4/2/07


It is the responsibility of the Holy Ghost to convict. It is the responsibility of the husband and wife to cooperate with the Holy Ghost.

Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother and cleave to his wife, and they twain shall be one flesh.

When they man and the woman married, there was a separation from the father and mother in terms of responsibility. The woman in this case is responsible for her own relationship with God.
---Linda on 4/2/07


The husband is responsible to love her as Christ loved the church and gave Himself for it. At some point there was a failure in personal responsibility and that took place after the woman left home and married.
---Linda on 4/2/07


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That depends. Is she over 27 years 83 days old? Or is that 24 years 19 days old , or maybe it is 73 years 246 days 13 hours 27 minutes old.

What nonsense.
---BRUCE5656 on 4/2/07


No-one is responsible for the sins of someone else. The father should not step down, even if pressed to do so, unless he personally chooses to do so. Why should someone else carry the shame and blame of another person? I know many wonderful pastors whose children are far from being perfect (who's children are?) but adults must always accept responsibility for their own actions.
---m.p.a. on 4/2/07


No he shouldn't step down from his ministry. The only thing this Pastor can do is pray for her and shine a light that she may see God through him. My Pastor has five children and as far as I know all of them are lost. The worst thing this man can do is quit. You give the devil and inch and he'll take a mile.
---Rebecca_D on 4/1/07


Susie. Her husband told me she was a virgin when they married.
No, I haven't seen her run loose myself but she has admitted to her latest ongoing affair to her husband and family. My question to you is do you think her pastor father should step down if this is the case?
---john on 4/2/07


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Tim. No Church Of Christ people involved.
---john on 4/2/07


Hi John; just a thought: she needs prayer support now more than she ever has; she might be very unhappy and having mental/emotional problems. Not to condone what she does, but love her and pray for her, not judge her.
---Mary on 4/1/07


That pastor is responsible for his own conscience. If he sees his title as pastor causing divisions he should follow what and where he is led by God.
---Pharisee on 4/1/07


no she is responsible to God for her actions,or choices only,her husband is responsible to forgive her and tell her she is in rebellion to Gods word.but only she is responsible to God for her choices.
---tom2 on 4/1/07


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Is this a Church of Christ, they believe this way.
---Tim on 4/1/07


I'd like to know how you know that this woman was a virgin when she was married.
---Susie on 4/1/07


Have you seen her in the act of running loose and immoral?
---Susie on 4/1/07


Why would anyone think her father is responsible for the daughter's actions? Why would he need to step down due to the actions of someone other than himself?
---Susie on 4/1/07


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