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Husband Takes Lie Detector Test

My husband cheated before we were actually married and I thought I got over it, obviously I didn't. I asked him to take a lie detector test and he didn't agree but he didn't disagree. It wasn't until I made a big fuss, that he agreed. Is he cheating again?

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 ---Crystal on 4/8/07
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--Crystal on 4/8/07

rose, i am sorry. i hope one day soon you let go. God forgives like we forgive. haven't you tortured yourself long enough? haven't you tortured your husband in various ways over the years long enough?
---aka on 9/26/12


I'm not sure if it is you who was so pathetic to ask your husband for a lie detector test, or if your husband is more pathetic for agreeing.

Your husband should never have married you because you are a fruit cake. If he isn't cheating he should be!!
---Follower_of_Christ on 9/26/12


From what I have seen there are good reasons why people stray sexually in marriage. I do not know anyone here so am not making reference to any particular person. I believe a married person does not go out looking for a restaurant if the 'food' at home is good and lovingly provided. So often I have seen marriages where one partner starved the other of affection and intimacy then complained when their partner found it elsewhere. Are not they both guilty of unfaithfulness, both the one who seeks affection elsewhere and the one who is not interested in an intimate loving relationship with their partner?
---Warwick on 9/26/12


My husband cheated on me over 4 years along time ago.I am haveing trouble to for giveing him we have been married 56 years. we are both in good health. iam so unhappy and dont know what to do
---Rose on 9/25/12


Is he cheating again? I thought he agreed to a lie detector test. Maybe that test was before you were married? No one here could possibly know if he is cheating could they?
Maybe you need another lie detector test and if he has already agreed to one then I think you will know for sure as soon as that is over.
---john on 12/1/07




I think you and your husband need to urgently start to regularly go to counselling and both begin to be part of a church and give your hearts to the Lord Jesus Christ.
---Junia on 4/10/07


** I think you guys should maybe not attack Crystal as much. **

I think Crystal should stop nagging her husband ("making a big fuss," as she put it) or she will surely drive him into the arms of another woman. I've seen it happen before.
---Jack on 4/10/07


Bond's the Name.....Junk.
---Sean on 4/10/07


I think you guys should maybe not attack Crystal as much. I have been in this same situation and I can understand her pain. Although she choose to marry this guy, she might have thought it was room for change, she was probably also overwhelmed with marital bliss that she couldn't think straight. No one is perfect that includes Crystal or her husband, so I think we should stop attacking her, however I do suggest religious counseling Crystal. You are in my prayers.
---Sindy on 4/9/07


Lady, you really have trust issues, don't you?

If you weren't actually married, he didn't actually cheat, now did he?

Were the positions reversed, would you not want the benefit of doubt for yourself? Why will you not give the same benefit of doubt to your husband?

You might not know that the results of polygraph tests are NOT admissible as evidence in any court of law in the US. It has not been absolutely established that a person can't successfully lie to the lie detector.
---Jack on 4/9/07




Are you the Crystal that was having problems with the husband's views on discipline for your children? This being the second marriage and stepchildren issues?
---Todd on 4/9/07


You should have never married him if he cheated on you prior to your wedding. But, since you did, you made a choice to forgive. Unless you have reason to suspect he is cheating, leave him alone. Get marital therapy for the two of you and learn to trust him.
---Madison1101 on 4/9/07


If I were him, I'd leave you. When you married the man...you forgave him. Stop the nonsense and get on with life.
---Annie on 4/9/07


Wow. A lie detector test? You guys should go get counseling right now. God bless.
---sue on 4/9/07


Crystal...I think you need some serious help. Get into counseling immediately or this paranoid state of mind will get worse. You obviously don't have the ability to forgive your husband for something he did BEFORE you were married. Asking him to take a lie detector test is only eroding your marriage more. Get some help!
---Susie on 4/9/07


We don't know if he is cheating on you again or not. The only thing you can do is trust him. If you keep on and on about this to him, and if he isn't cheating on you, he will if you don't stop nagging
---Rebecca_D on 4/9/07


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You've got to be kidding! How would anyone know if he's cheating again? Even if he takes the lie dectector test, it may not prove anything and it may do more damage than good. You may be satisfied with the results - but it may cause him permanent trust damage. As a man, I would want my wife to take my word for something, not make me take a lie detctor test.
---wivv on 4/9/07


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