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Stayed Over Night With Female

I consider myself a good christian woman who is not filled with spirit of jealousy. My husband of 5 years has a female friend who is single and lives far away. But I don't believe she respects our marriage since she always calls his cell and is allowed him to stay over night.

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1 Thess 5:22 Abstain from all appearance of evil.

The friend is not the problem, your husband is.

If he is saved, he needs to be taught better. Seek a male church leader to show him this Scripture. If he is not saved, it is hard to expect him to see his error.

Gal 5:17 For the flesh lusteth against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh and these are contrary the one to the other: so that ye cannot do the things that ye would.
---a_servant on 6/22/07


I agree with Deb. Your husband needs to show his friend that your marriage comes first. He really has no business staying the night alone with another woman. That is not showing much respect for your marriage on his part.
---maryj9396 on 6/18/07


Not trying to make things worse but, I feel that it's going to take your husband to show her that He respects your marriage before she will respect it. He has to take a stand as a christian man and husband if he is saved, because this is disrespect to you as a Godly woman and as a wife!
---deb on 6/8/07


It would appear to me that you first and primary concern is why is your husband staying overnight? She may be calling his cell phone, and may be allowing him to stay overnight; but he is accepting the invitation to stay overnight.
---wivv on 5/14/07


It sounds like your husband needs to know your feelings and needs to be held accountable. If any woman is keeping another woman's husband away from her she is causing the man to sin. No way around it (even if they don't sleep together) He has committed adultery because he isn't putting you before all other women. I strongly encourage you to seek counseling (if he refuses then take the next step because this is not healthy)
---Jared on 5/13/07




Do you people make these soap opera blogs up,
I can't believe what you discuss in the name of Christianity.
Ephesians 5:11-12 Have no fellowship with the unfruitful works of darkness, but rather even reprove them. For the things which are done by them in secret, it is a shame even to speak of.
---exzucuh on 5/13/07


If a man stays overnight with another woman there is only thing he is staying for. I suspect you already know this. You need to confront your husband straight out and tell him he belongs to you and to get his eyes exclusively on you. Forgive him and pray for him.
---Helen_5378 on 5/13/07


Hmmmm. I agree with NVBarbara (and everybody else) WHY is your husband spending the night in the first place?? And for sure get him checked for any STD's before you are intimate with him again.
---sue on 5/12/07


It is your husband who has no respect for you. Otherwise, he would not be talking to this woman all the time and spending the night at her home.
---Susie on 5/12/07


Even if this situation is all innocent the devil knows our weakness' and will tempt them.And he could also be a stumbling block to other non-christians or you could also be for putting up with it. I don't think he is being respectful to you,his wife. If you have doubts about it then I believe its wrong. I think its wrong anyway for a married man or woman. barba4843
---barba4843 on 5/12/07




Quite frankly I believe that you should talk with your husband about his friends especially this female. In this situation I would have to admit I would have a lot of questions for him. I would not allow my husband to stay at another female's home with temptation lurking around the corner. I would have to be with him. I will drive back if it's too far. Or stay overnight. And if she don't like it then he can't stay either. Be prayerful and seek God.
---chara7388 on 5/12/07


Why is he at her place to begin with? THEN its too far to come home---yeah right.
Confront him, ask him to explain what is going on. If you accept him back, require that he have an AIDS test before you are intimate with him again!
Been there....
---NVBarbara on 5/12/07


I smell T R O U B L E. Your right this woman has no respect for the marriage or you. If you let it, Satan will use this woman to destroy your marriage. Your husband should have respect for you as well. It is okay for him to have female friends, as long as they have distance. Your husband should not unless you are with him, spend the night at her house. You should talk to your husband. Let him know how you feel. If he says you have nothing to worry about and continues to do this, I'd be worried.
---Rebecca_D on 5/11/07


Why are you not discussing your husband's lack of respect for your marriage? I think you are in denial of reality concerning his behavior. HE is the one who should be cutting off the communication between this woman and himself. HE is the one who should not be spending overnights at her home. HE is the one who is obviously having an affair and showing you and your marriage disrespect. Wake up and smell the coffee. Time to call either a marriage counselor or a divorce lawyer.
---Madison1101 on 5/11/07


God's Word says not to let your good be evil spoken of. In other words, these actions bring a reproach on your marriage which is sacred and should be honored as such!!!!! Marriages have boundaries that should not be crossed. He LETS her call And he CHOOSES to stay with her. She 's not forcing him. Tell him that it bothers you.He should respond in a loving way , as to affirm his love and respect for you. If he doesn't, he may be taking the fact that you are a good christian wife for granted.
---rochelle on 5/12/07


God's Word says not to let your good be evil spoken of. In other words, these actions bring a reproach on your marriage which is sacred and should be honored as such!!!!! Marriages have boundaries that should not be crossed. He LETS her call And he CHOOSES to stay with her. She 's not forcing him. Tell him that it bothers you.He should respond in a loving way , as to affirm his love and respect for you. If he doesn't, he may be taking the fact that you are a good christian wife for granted.
---rochelle on 5/12/07


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I have been married for over 25 yrs to a man much older than myself. Yes--I am a Christian woman, as well. I don't have a spirit of jealousy either but I will never allow my spouse to stay overnight with any female, excluding his sister or mom. He would have to give me a good reason to stay with mom/sister/aunt even then. I don't care how saved I am, I am a watchful and discerning woman. Sometimes we leave ourselves open for the enemy to come in. You have done just that.
---Robyn on 5/11/07


I just have to comment on this question again. It is so unreal that someone would allow another female to do this to them . Please let me apologize. I want to always show love but this questions has really riled me up.
I am sure your spouse is kicking up his heels laughing at you along with the female. In the name of Jesus, order him home immediately! And forbid him ever to see this piranha--again. He is much much at fault than this piranha is. A married man doing this. Is he born again?
---Robyn on 5/11/07


Your husband is the one who should really be the one with respect to your marriage. This is just the same old routine cheating on the spouse scene you have here. Get some help right away. These things don't get any better with time. And if you think that they are just friends you may also be lacking respect.
---john on 5/11/07


If she is not respecting your marriage, neither is he.
Have you met her? Maybe it is all innocent, but there seems little legitimate reason to stay over 'cos five miles is not far to come.;
I would tell him of your worries
---alan_of_UK on 5/11/07


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God is a jealous God.
He's jealous for our affections. We dare not have other gods before Him.

You better wise up, real quick. What was your first clue. The slumber party or the cell phone calls. It's your husband's friend or old girlfriend. She certainly does not care about you. You have some unraveling to do, don't stick your head in the sand. Go ask your husband what's goin' on. I don't know if you'll get a straight answer, but you have to open up the lines of communication.
---Brad on 5/11/07


Hi; your female friend sounds like a potential problem, all right. She should be respectful of the marriage boundaries--but your husband should be the one to really set the boundaries as he is married. He shouldn't even consider an overnight stay even though nothing might happen; it's not fair to you and looks bad.
---Mary on 5/11/07


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