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Foundation For Marriage Covenant

How does the Bible say we need to relate in our covenant with each other in our Christian family? And how does this basic love relating lay the foundation for entering into holy matrimony so we then can do well in marriage?

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 ---Bill_bila5659 on 5/28/07
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I believe the bottom line is to submit to one another in the fear of God, to be mindful that each member of the family is a gift of God with distinct personalities, talents, giftings, callings, abilities, and anointing...to recognize that it is not "Christ in ME, the hope of glory" but "Christ in YOU, the hope of glory", esteeming another greater than yourself. To understand that love is a Person, not a feeling and that forgiveness is based on a sacrifice, not on how we feel.
---Linda on 8/24/08


First: a man is to leave his mother & father, (Gen. 2:24). Second: While it states the man is the head of the house, it also states he should love his wife as Christ loved the church. Christ did two things for the church - He suffered for the church and He died for the church. Glad you used the word, "covenant" instead of "contract"(Once it's realized marriage is a covenant, than any problem can be dealt with.)There's lots more, but this is at least a start.
---wivv on 6/22/07


Bill's scriptures age great and I would add the love chapter in 1Cor 13. Even so, it starts at dating with Christ at the center of the relationship. What a couple does when dating will carry over into marriage. praying together, studing together, praising together, fellowshipping outside the relationship together are important during the dating process as if they are not established there, they most likely will not be established later. The man should be the spiritusl leader under Christ.
---jody on 6/3/07


So many Christian people get married with the perfect solution to what makes a good marriage, It's not the person with the knowledge that fall short but the other who go's along with the idea because it sounds good. If both partners have the same mind as Christ, leaning on the understanding of God/word daily It would be ''Great''

However the statistics show more than half Christian marriages fail , and hope for a Godly partner for life is barely marginable. Truth!
---Carla5754 on 6/3/07


Marriage is not based on basic loving each other but knowledge of bible principles and the ability to allow the same mind of Christ to display in our everyday life, and without the testimony of the gospel and obedience to the word, daily allowing the word to shine through in us we will ultimately fail, one must be saved and lean not on our own understanding and able prove it through our daily conduct.
---Carla5754 on 6/3/07




When you can see that even your very enemies are at peace with you, You become the peace maker instead of the trouble maker, You become the mediator rather than the mischief maker, where everyone else would react you are slow to anger, you become one, more than others to show love rather than regret it's a small indication you are going in the right direction.
---Carla5754 on 6/3/07


Jack, I think any obedient man living God's love can do well in marriage with any lady who is also a Christian who relates the way the Bible says to love >

"submitting to one another in the fear of God." (Ephesians 5:21)

"Do all things without complaining and disputing," (Philippians 2:14)

This is how we ALL are to relate, and I'd say these are basic to doing well in marriage.
---Bill_bila5659 on 6/2/07


**I have thought about this, too, how ones got married by arrangement, without first spending time together to decide if they wanted to get married.**

There are references in writings of the period to support what I said.

While this was in post-rabbinic Judaism, do you recall the touching duet between Golde and Tevye "Do You Love Me?" from FIDDLER ON THE ROOF? There the referred to how nervous they were, since they had never even seen each other before standing under the chupa.
---Jack on 5/29/07


"And I believe forgiveness involves loving the person, not just letting the person off the hook, but forgiveness has us interested in intimacy with the forgiven person."

Unless you are truly intimate with the forgiven person, have you really forgiven him/her? After all, Jesus became intimate with us (became sin and the curse), having already forgiven us. If we would simply see through the eyes of God, forgiveness wouldn't be a problem.
---Linda on 5/29/07


WOW, Linda!!! Awesome post about forgiveness sacrificial being how Jesus got started, as our Groom.

And I believe forgiveness involves loving the person, not just letting the person off the hook, but forgiveness has us interested in intimacy with the forgiven person.
---Bill_bila5659 on 5/28/07




Jack, that is interesting > I have thought about this, too, how ones got married by arrangement, without first spending time together to decide if they wanted to get married.

I'd say ANY sound Christian brother COULD do well with ANY really obedient sister, if they both love the way Jesus says for us ALL to love one another.

So, what I'm getting at, Jack, is how we ALL need to learn to relate in Christian covenant so this can prepare us to do well in marriage.
---Bill_bila5659 on 5/28/07


I think couples get together too fast, without first getting into good Christian relating with various other brothers and sisters in Christ. One can fall for some one romantic favorite, but never really get to know the person.

I think, in Christ, we are family; so a courting couple needs to grow in a brother-sister relationship, FIRST, AND become BEST FRIENDS who are each other's best critics, THEN how God's love has them romantic while growing in love with other Christians who support them.
---Bill_bila5659 on 5/28/07


"Father, forgive them" was the very first thing Jesus uttered from the cross and is the basis for the rest. If you can't forgive, you won't move forward. I believe that basic love is sacrificial in and of itself and if everyone entered into a marriage with that mindset, no power on earth could break it.
---Linda on 5/28/07


I would recommend reading 1 corinthians chapter 13 several thousand times a year.
---tom2 on 5/28/07


**And how does this basic love relating lay the foundation for entering into holy matrimony so we then can do well in marriage?**

Believe it or not, the Bible says NOTHING about love being the basis for marriage.

At the time the Bible was written, arranged marriages were the norm. As I've said many times before, "What's love got to do with it?" You didn't marry for love of your spouse, but love of you FAMILY, because it was your duty.
---Jack on 5/28/07


Part 2:

Frequently you didn't even meet your spouse until you were standing under the canopy.

In this light, "Husbands, love your wives", which sounds so obvious to us, was revolutionary to the congregations that first heard it.
---Jack on 5/28/07


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