Is Preteen Dating Appropriate
At what age is it OK for children to have a boyfriend or girlfriend? I know group dating is recommended for Christian young people, but what about preteens who say they are "dating," but don't actually go anywhere without parents? Should parents allow these innocent crushes?
Moderator - Dating is to lead to marriage, therefore it is inappropriate.
Join Our Free Dating and Take The Parenting Bible Quiz
---melissa on 6/26/07
Helpful Blog Vote (5)
|
|
I understand, as an adult fifty-nine years old, that God wants me to marry someone who is ALL-loving . . . NOT just all crazy about me. "'For if you love those who love you, what reward have you?'" Jesus says in Matthew 5:46. And she and I would have each other discovering God more, while we are relating with our brothers and sisters with whom we also are growing in love.
So, why would WE...adults...want to get isolated just with each other, on "dates"? |
|
---Bill_bila5659 on 4/24/08 |
I let my daughter age 14 go to a movie with me and her little sister and some of there friends at a elemetry school. I thought everything would be ok. Well we had a bad storm that night and I let the older ones go out to the car first and then I gathered up the little kids and took them out to the car. Several weeks later I found out that my daughter and this boy did not use there better judgment and they where all over eachother in the 5 min that i went to get the little ones. So i have mixed emotions. |
|
---Katrinna on 7/27/07 |
I think that there is absolutely nothing wrong with this! What bad could happen? Nothing! |
|
---Nicole on 7/15/07 |
Teenage crushes are a normal part of growing up. Talk with your teen about their crushes. By denying them the ability to explore their feelings/emotions, could result in trouble later on. The more forbidden something is, the more interesting it is and the more of chance your teen will do it anyway without your knowing. Engage in conversations with your teen about peer pressure, relationships. |
|
---Katie on 7/14/07 |
yes parents should allow these innocent crushes |
|
---Ana on 7/11/07 |
No NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO |
|
---Christine on 7/10/07 |
My father insisted that I could not wear pants on a date when I was young. So, I always wore a dress. I think back at those days and laugh. Of course, I'm so old that we couldn't even wear pants to school when I was in high school. |
|
---Susie on 7/2/07 |
I had always planned to not let my daughters date until the age of 16 - that is unchaperoned. What I am talking about is not really dating as some of you seem to have assumed. I am talking about them going on outings with family members, such as if our family goes on a picnic-should she be allowed to invite her "boyfriend"? |
|
---Melissa on 7/2/07 |
And nobody ever answered me about kids inviting their "crushes" to church! If my kids have friends whose families don't attend church, that is the first thing I want to do - take them to church with us. My daughters' "romances" might lead a child to Christ - we could be their only link to church. What could possibly be wrong with that? By the way, when any children (boy or girl) are visiting my home, God is always mentioned. |
|
---Melissa on 7/2/07 |
As a parent, none of my children dated anyone until they were sixteen. Then it was with a chaperone until they turned eighteen. Why: girls do not mature until then and boys will not mature until they reach forty, if then. You avoid the appearance of evil. If you love your children, you teach them from an early age what is acceptable in God's eyes and they will not stray from that knowledge when they are older. you lead by example in all things so you are not seen as a hypocrite or lier by them. |
|
---ashley on 7/2/07 |
Television (particularly those shows comimg here from the US) seems to have younger and younger kids developing crushes on each other. Sexual innuendo is on so many childrens' programmes now that it is no wonder they feel they have to have boy & girl friends at a young age. |
|
---alan_of_UK on 7/1/07 |
Another term that kids use for "going" with someone or "going steady" is "going out", except usually no one is "going" anywhere. Just means they like each other and their peer group or classmates all know it. |
|
---TT on 6/30/07 |
I had my first boyfriend in the 7th grade, at age 13,& yes that was too young.I recommend if you set guidelines for children then they shouldn't start dating until age 17,legal age ot make their own choices or become a senior.therefore focusing on school can be first priority over a boy.That is the rule in our home, both our daughter & our sons have to wait until 17. |
|
---candice on 6/30/07 |
As the Moderator says, the word "dating" means that the couple are ready for marriage if it comes. Using the word dating too early cheapens it and makes it dangerous. The words, making Friends, is much more suitable for young people to use, in group events. |
|
---harold on 6/30/07 |
Melissa...Kids today say they are "going" with someone if they just like that person. When I was growing up if we were "going" with someone it meant dating. But, the younger kids just use that term for their latest puppy love. |
|
---Susie on 6/29/07 |
I "went steady" in the 6th grade. If I recall there was this "Mormon boy" who eventually asked most of the 6th grade girls to "go steady". This boy had a St. Christopher medal that he'd give to his weekly girlfriend. I "broke up" after 2 days cause he didn't produce the St. Christopher medal :). We didn't call on the phone or hardly even speak during our 2 day relationship---how funny this all seems now.....ah, childhood! |
|
---TT on 6/29/07 |
I think parents should not get caught up in word games about the relationships between little boys and girls. Dating is for older people and should not be called "dating" as an "innocent crush". Talk to your children about their feelings as they mature regarding the opposite sex. Parents are getting caught up in the childrens peer preasure just as much as the children. Childhood feelings are normal but dating is not appropriate and can lead to teen or even preteen pregnancy. |
|
---jody on 6/29/07 |
With kids growing up so fast these days, it's kind of hard to know what to allow, isn't it? I mean, kids are doing things in the sixth grade I didn't even know existed back then! You can't really control a crush. They have one or they don't, but you can lead them in the right way to go about it, as a parent. Reinforce the friend thing, and don't encourage time alone, just the two of them. |
|
---Katie on 6/29/07 |
Pre-teen dating is wrong.
16+ is time for dating to get to know one another WITH a responsible parent present on the date.
Through good Christian parenting and of course, the power and guidance of the Holy Spirit, Christian dating can lead into a loving and lasting marriage imo. |
|
---Brenda on 6/29/07 |
Jack, since when is kissing, a social skill. |
|
---Matthew on 6/29/07 |
The moderator is right. Furthermore, dating is not in the Bible. Men received their wives by the leading of the Spirit and not the will of man. The bride of Christ is brought to him by the Spirit. Not the will of man, lust, or even dating services. Christians will be in for a rude awakening at the judgment seat of Christ because it was not "what God hath joined together."
Frank3443 |
|
---Frank on 6/29/07 |
The moderator is wrong.
Dating is about getting to know other people and practicing social skills. |
|
---Jack on 6/29/07 |
I know many couples who have been friends since grade school and ended up getting married. They have had long marriages which have been very successful. It's a lot easier to be married to a friend than a stranger. |
|
---Susie on 6/28/07 |
I agree with the moderator. To date if not plan to marry>>> 40 years old. |
|
---catherine on 6/28/07 |
gee in this day of age i would say they see each other in school etc..... i would say if they go to a dance or school function at the age of 13 -16 that is fine..... but not by themselves... to date i would say 16 |
|
---irene7395 on 6/28/07 |
*I wish more parents would reply to this blog. This is an issue all parents will eventually face - children wanting to date. I would really like some Christian guidance here.*
The moderator gave you the correct answer. |
|
---Matthew on 6/28/07 |
Thank you, Susie, for your intelligent and sensitive reply! For the others, if you remember being young, I think you would remember that if you were not allowed to do something as a kid, that was probably the first thing you wanted to try when you got away from home. Also, what is wrong with letting your son or daughter bring a date to church? That may be the kid's only exposure to the Word. Wasn't that how people used to "court?" |
|
---melissa on 6/28/07 |
melissa, the mod told you and that sums it up.
"Moderator - Dating is to lead to marriage, therefore it is inappropriate."
You're wanting a workaround the truth, as your daughter is wanting to work it, work you. |
|
---McGinnis on 6/28/07 |
I wish more parents would reply to this blog. This is an issue all parents will eventually face - children wanting to date. I would really like some Christian guidance here. |
|
---melissa on 6/27/07 |
Preteens today say that they are "going with" someone. This means that they like each other. You cannot keep kids from having innocent crushes. I see nothing wrong with preteens having their friends come along on family outings. It's a good time for them to learn to have healthy relationships with the opposite sex. |
|
---Susie on 6/27/07 |
Because correspondence through the internet is not a reliable indicator that you've met the real deal. Neither are chance meetings, hit and miss. Everyone who's ever been on random dates knows that you're putting your best foot forward. Church functions are a good place to meet/observe someone. You'll at least know if you have equally yoked beliefs. God can bring someone to your church, even if it is 75% women and 25% men in attendance. |
|
---McGinnis on 6/27/07 |
|
|
|
