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How To Get Along With Mom

I need advice on how to get along better with my mom. I try to love my mom but it seems like she hates me and is always wanting to accuse me. It is hard to respect her because she still treats me like I am two and stupid.

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 ---Desiree on 6/29/07
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When my mother treated me like dirt, I would leave her and go on a foot journey. Then she'd beg me to come back, and ambush me with very nasty and foul reactions, at times. I could get very enraged about this. But God in His love would touch me, and this would prove how I was not being loving like He is with me and wanted me to be with her.

I stayed with her for about the last ten years of her life, NOT leaving, but seeing how I could become more like God's love. It was worth the investment.
---Bill_bila5659 on 3/25/08

We are free to answer however we choose if it is Christ-like and Biblical. Now some will tell you hit the dirt, bite the dust and eat a dirt sandwich. I see nothing especially Christ-like about it. It may have been funny one or two times, but it's lost it's luster.
I see dueling banjos that like to bite one another. I enjoy the diversity of answers.
---Jenny on 7/3/07

Rebecca: Please do not tell me to watch how I answer someone. You certainly should refrain from such admonishment.

The young lady described a negative relationship with her mother. If her mother is saved, it is still appropriate that one pray for her to know the Lord. Saved people can still be ignorant of the Lord in a lot of ways.

If the young lady perceives that her mother hates her, then her mother is certainly not exhibiting the fruit of the Spirit.
---Madison1101 on 7/2/07

Madison...I believe strongly in being a mentor and have had two mentors who are now in their 90's. However, not all mothers are happy if their teenage daughter decides to confide in another woman.
---Susie on 7/2/07

Madison; no there is nothing wrong to encourage this young girl to pray for her mother. But your reply a few days back, implied that it was all the mother's fault and the mother is to blame on it all. But to make a statement when you said pray that her mother may know the Lord is like saying pray that her mother might get saved. All I was saying was to watch how you answer someone.
---Rebecca_D on 7/2/07

I do not have a good relationship with my mother and I am 29 years old. I am learning to pray for her and to pray that God will show me my imperfections as well. I can tell you this, while you are still young, do all that you can to get to know her and love her even if she gets on your nerves. It will have a huge effect on your relationship later if you don't communicate and trust in God.
---Christie on 7/2/07

I have always befriended older Christian women. One of my best friends died last summer at the age of 94. My other friends are 88, 85, and 70. They are my favorite people and prayer partners. Their experiences and knowledge supersedes young Christian women who believe they know it all and are qualified to preach, hold crusades, and are extremely prophetic. The wisdom that older women can share with younger women is a treasure.
---Trisha on 7/2/07

My own mother is in her 60's. She's not the jealous type and doesn't bat an eye at my friendships. She has older friends, too. Far better for a teenager to seek wise counsel from other women than fight every day with her mother. She'll gain a new perspective and insight into working out the differences/similarities with her mother.
---Trisha on 7/2/07

Rebecca: There is nothing wrong in encouraging a young lady to pray for her mother. Prayer for Mom will also help her. Scripture says to pray for our enemies. A lot of teenage girls see their mothers' as enemies. I know I sure did when I was 16.

Susie: My suggestion concerning another adult woman was to develop a discipleship relationship and learn to be a Christian teenager from this older woman. That would include the older woman teaching the teen scriptures about honoring parents.
---Madison1101 on 7/2/07

If you follow the suggestion of some of this blog and turn to another woman to talk about the problems with your mother, make sure it is not one of her friends. Because whatever woman you turn to will soon become her enemy. Discussing problems with your mother with someone else is not the way to handle the situation. As you talk to your mother about the things that are bothering you, you will come to understand her and she will understand you better.
---Susie on 7/1/07

Madison you told this young girl to pray to God that she might know him, and for him to change her. Maybe it is possible since this young girl is only 16 years old, that she doesn't want to abide by her mother's rules, and this results into them fighting. and this young girl will think her mother is so un-fair.
---Rebecca_D on 7/1/07

Rebecca: What statement did I make that was inappropriate?
---Madison1101 on 7/1/07

I agree with Madison on this one. Moms and daughters living through the teenage years can be a power struggle. Communication shuts down and tensions arise. If she has another mother/woman she can relate to, they can resolve issues without conflict and short tempers. Familiarity breeds making faces behind Mom's back, getting on Mom's last nerve, etc. Be sure you tell Mom the truth, Mom knows anyway. Rebuild your trust with Mom.
---Trisha on 7/1/07

What are you doing to be accused of? Whatever the reason, your mom is above you. Maybe the problem isn't her, maybe it is you? If you two argue over petty (stupid) stuff, then stop it. You never know when your time is up here on earth. Do you want your last words to her be in an arguement? you need to try and get along better. Pray for your mother to know the Lord, and for him to change her--Madison, how can you make a statement like that when it is possible this teen is a rebillious teen?
---Rebecca_D on 6/30/07

Then, 16 year old Desiree, like it or not: her house, her rules, until you're on your own and supporting yourself in your own domicile.

(Could she be treating you like you're two and stupid because you're acting like you're two and stupid?)
---Jack on 6/30/07

Who better than another Christian woman to answer this question? " I understand your situation, as I was treated similarly when I was a teenager.I urge you to find an older Christian woman who you can talk to and pray with concerning your relationship with your mom. Pray and seek the Lord for this. Pray for your mother to know the Lord, and for Him to change her. Madison1101 on 6/30/07. From a man's point of view, there are some evil parents out there who will make you feel bad, if you let them.
---harold on 6/30/07

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anonymous, if your are one of the prophets here, you missed it.
---Jaclyn on 6/30/07

I understand your situation, as I was treated similarly when I was a teenager.

I urge you to find an older Christian woman who you can talk to and pray with concerning your relationship with your mom. Pray and seek the Lord for this. Pray for your mother to know the Lord, and for Him to change her.
---Madison1101 on 6/30/07

Your mother does not hate you. She is trying to make sure that you don't get hurt by doing things that are bad for you.
---Susie on 6/29/07

I am sixteen years old and i live with my mom.
---desiree on 6/29/07

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I have a dysfunctional relationship with my mom too, unfortunately I have nowhere else to live right now. All you can do is love her and forgive her. If you could give some more details about your living arrangement, it would help.
---maryj9396 on 6/29/07

Desiree...Until you are old enough to make your own decisions and are willing to move out of your mother's home, she is the boss. It isn't unusual for mothers and daughters to have problems. My mother treated me like a child because in her mind I was her child. She died three years ago at the age of 82. Sometimes it is really hard when I can't pick up that phone and call her when something good happens that I want to tell her. Appreciate your mom while you still have her.
---Susie on 6/29/07

It's like Dr. Phil says, do you know why people treat you the way they do? Because they can. They can get away with it. Bishop Noel Jones said you have to get away from the person who is hurting you in order to heal from their wounds. Get away from her. Distance yourself from her. Pray for her and ask God to change her hardened heart. Satan is the accuser of the brethren. Plead the blood of Jesus over your mind, will and emotions if you start to talk to your mother again.
---anonymous on 6/29/07

You haven't explained how old you are, if you are living in your mother's house or if she is living in yours.

Any of these variables can affect a helpful answer.
---Jack on 6/29/07

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