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Ever Date A Non-Christian

Should a Christian ever date a non-Christian and why?

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 ---Sal on 7/10/07
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Ritah, last of 2,
Paul made a clear definition when he brought to "remembrance" the words spoken by the Lord, and when he spoke "things new" he abided by John 14:26 and John 16:12 and clearly said by which autorithy he said them, 1 Cor 7:40: "...after my judgment: and I think also that I have the Spirit of God.". So, whichthings Paul said are as valid as the Lords, for they proceed from the same fountain, John 16:14, "for he shall receive of mine, and shall shew it unto you." Now, I leave you in Peace or not, but I will leave now this subject with you, unless you address me again on it. May the Lord teach and guide all of us always.
---Nana on 7/16/08


ALL:: RitaH has given a clear concise but true explaination what God demanda of People who enter into acontract of marriage no middle course,divorce is not a solution but an escallation to the source of the problem which never leaves. Two in one Flesh means Just that a cemented relationship.That is why the saying "look before you leap" b/c you cannot leap back.This is the truth.
---Emcee on 7/16/08


Crista: I am very sorry to hear about your impending divorce. The Bible says that a believing wife should stay with an unbelieving husband unless he rejects her for her faith. If he does, she is not bound to stay with him. That does not make things any easier though. You might want to look for a divorce recovery ministry. Many churches have them. Also, finding a good singles ministry would put you in fellowship with others who have gone through the same thing. Use Google.
---obewan on 7/16/08


Ritah,
A man of God brings out of the goodness of his heart things both new and old, Matt 13:52. Our faith has accepted that the Comforter, which is the Holy Ghost is not a promise but a reality to all who Love and obey the Lord. John 14:26 reiterates Matt 13:52 in that the Comforter will teach us all things and even bring to our "remembrance" whatsoever the Lord said, through the Gospels, "things new and old". Did the Lord speak fully on every subject? No he did not (John 16:12), "but ye cannot bear them now".
---Nana on 7/15/08


I believed in God before I was married but wasn't a born-again Christian. We've been together 12 years and I received Christ four years ago. I am a believer but he is not. On June 1st of this year he sat me down and gave me some pretty bad news. I am now going through a divorce. One of the things he stated was he believed our problems began when I became a Christian. We have two children and raising them in church has been difficult when he always stayed home. They felt like they had an option to stay home, too. They also questioned why he didn't pray at dinner time. Don't do it. It's an uphill battle. I felt like I discovered an amazing secret and my husband continued to happily live in darkness. He resented my light.
Crista
---Crista on 7/15/08




Nana, no I won't. I've laboured on this long enough and you just don't wish to see it.
---RitaH on 7/15/08


No. We are told to not be unequally yoked, and good advice is to not date someone we ALREADY know we could not marry. I also don't believe in 'missionary dating'. If the couple breaks up because one person is not a Christian, then that person may resent Christianity for the rest of their lives. If there is a non-Christian person of interest, people should invite them to church or to their singles group activities only. Even if they become Christians, care should be exercised to be sure they are genuine and not faking just to get into the relationship.
---obewan on 7/15/08


Ritah, I am sorry but I don't understand what you are actually saying to me below. Could you elaborate on the point you wish to make please? Crystal clear?
---Nana on 7/14/08


Nana read this please. And unto the married I command, yet not I, but the Lord, Let not the wife depart from her husband: But and if she depart, let her remain unmarried, or be reconciled to her husband: and let not the husband put away his wife. But to the rest speak I, not the Lord: If any brother hath a wife that believeth not, and she be pleased to dwell with him, let him not put her away.
And the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, and if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him.
For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband: else were your children unclean, but now are they holy. Crystal clear.
---RitaH on 7/14/08


Ritah,
You said, "For him to state this quite clearly surely shows that the difference is important." With that you implied that it was not a "command". Does that mean it is optional and not worthy of all acceptation? I think not because I believe that Paul indeed had "the Spirit of God". Matthew 16:19, on binding and loosing. The Lord did not pass judgement, neither commandment concerning inheritance, however we are entrusted to figure that by ourselves, Luke 12:13_14. 1 Corinthians 6:3: "Know ye not that we shall judge angels? how much more things that pertain to this life?"
---Nana on 7/13/08




Nana, I am sorry but I don't understand what you are actually saying to me below. Could you elaborate on the point you wish to make please?
---RitaH on 7/13/08


Ritah,
Our Lord neither spoke of many a things of which we have today and have to discern, like medical attention which some deny themselves and those of their household because it is not spoken by the Lord, neither is in the Bible.
---Nana on 7/12/08


Nana, what I said was that Paul makes it quite clear that some of what he said was 'from the Lord' (Jesus said it so it was a command) whilst the words being discussed here were from Paul (and not a command). For him to state this quite clearly surely shows that the difference is important. I personally feel that, when speaking of a spouse being sanctified by the other, it refers to those whose spouse becomes a Christian AFTER marriage. The warning regarding unequal yoking refers to not marrying someone who is not a Christian when you yourself already are. If you do you are asking for trouble and being disobedient.
---RitaH on 7/12/08


2 Timothy 3:1-5 talks about the description of the people in the last days, the NOW and ends with "having a form of godliness but denying it's power. Have nothing to do with them". So I would have to answer NO. Whatever it is they have on them you don't want on you. I've had Christians and others argue that it's "OK" to be around those who are non-repenting sinners or those who don't believe because their sins aren't catchy like the flu. Sins are more catchy and deadly then any virus out there. Sins kill the person physically, emotionally, mentally & spiritually. You get around people who are sinning their ways, speech, actions, attitudes will eventually rub off on you. Sins are an infectious virus.
---dayce on 7/12/08


Ritah,
1 Cor 7:40: "...after my judgment: and I think also that I have the Spirit of God." So, you don't believe Paul had "the Spirit of God" in what he said ealier and elsewhere?
---Nana on 7/12/08


Brian, yes that passage does say that but Paul makes it clear that those words were from him, not from the Lord. Read from verse 12 onwards yourself. Some of that chapter is stated as commandment whilst other parts are not. The most important words on this issue are "be ye not unequally yoked with unbelievers" and the following words tell us exactly why we should not be unequally yoked.
---RitaH on 7/11/08


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This is absolutely ridiculous. I cannot believe you guys...

Read the rest of Corinthians sometime and you'll find this passage

For the unbelieving husband is SANCTIFIED by the wife, and the unbelieving wife is SANCTIFIED by the husband: else were your children unclean, but now are they holy.

Love transcends Religious dogma.
---Brian on 7/11/08


Jody: "No, because dating is a prelude to marriage"
NO ... dating includes getting to know someone before you decide whether or not you wish to get married.
Clearly though, you should not date someone you already know you would not marry
---alan_of_UK on 3/30/08


No, because dating is a prelude to marriage. Never date someone that you would never marry. The Bible teaches that we should not be unequally yoked with unbelievers and states that we are to be married only in the Lord. We are not to marry unbelievers. Therefore, there is no reason to date one. You can wittness to him and invite him to church but do not date him. Blessings. Hope you find a Christian
---jody on 3/28/08


The Bible talks about not being unequally yoked with unbelievers.

In ancient times, plows were often pulled by tying two oxen together. If the two moved at different speeds or in different directions, the results could be disastrous.

So in any endeavour (whether love or business or anything else), if you are doing it with someone else, it is important that you and they have similar values, goals, and aspirations. This is unlikely if someone does not share your beliefs and values.
---Mark on 8/16/07


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Marcia - Yeah, well I'm very slow. :)
---Helen_5378 on 7/17/07


Helen: I was being sarcastic, boy you guys are like hornets ready to attack anything that looks suspicious to you. This is not a bad thing only don't get so tanked that you forget why we are here.
---Marcia on 7/17/07


Marcia - (" I know Adam had to date before he could find his mate. So it is the same with us.") -- Just to clear this up, that is what you wrote.
---Helen_5378 on 7/17/07


The Bible says NOT to be unequally yoked to unbelievers. It is easier for them to pull you down then for you to pull them up.
---Leslie on 7/16/07


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Helen and Catherine: That is clearly my point Adam did not have to date to find his soul-mate because God had prepared and brought his soul-mate to him. So it is with us God is preparing our soul-mates and at the appointed time he will bring that person into our circle of relationships and draw us together the same way he drew us to himself.
---Marcia on 7/16/07


Marcia - Yes, where did you get that from? Adam had to date!!! Hate to be the bearer of bad news, but he was the only human being on the planet. :)
---Helen_5378 on 7/16/07


Marcia, do me a great favour and tell me how you came up with the notion that Adam had to date to find his mate. I will not say thank you.
---catherine on 7/16/07


Holly4jc: Good for you. And do remember. Its is not so much as finding the right person as being the right person also. A Christian man is not always the answer,either. some of them have done heinous and wicked crimes against God, themselves and their families. Count up the cost. Many blessings to you.
---Robyn on 7/15/07


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Robyn: Wow! Good point, This is why the divorce rate in the Church is the same as the divorce rate outside the church. I know Adam had to date before he could find his mate. So it is the same with us.
---Marcia on 7/15/07


Robyn: I do position myself for the Lord to bless me in the area of marriage, I have been involved in the singles ministry at my church, go to singles activities from other churches, etc. I am not just at home on my knees waiting for someone to knock on my door. At the same time I am also allowing the Lord to work on me to prepare me for the person He has chosen. This is the way that I am positioning myself. I am definitely not hiding in a cave. :-)
---Holy4jc on 7/14/07


Holly4jc: It comes a time in our lives when we have to get off our knees and go in the name of the Lord. I have heard this teaching on waiting on God to send you a mate for years but is this really God's way or man's way? Man teaches many doctrines. I believe if we want to marry we have to position ourselves for that blessing to enter our lives. The church teaches young singles to not even date.Why? Young people can date other Christians. There are rules and regulations to follow but dating is ok.
---Robyn on 7/14/07


A Christian should not date a non-Christian because they would be unequally yoking themselves (2Corinthians 6:14-17). You would be disobeying the Lord. If you want to get married then ask the Lord to send you a husband. Jesus will send you the right one.
---Helen_5378 on 7/14/07


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Robyn...that is EXACTLY why I say...wait on the Lord to bring your mate if you are single, only God knows the heart of anyone. He and He alone knows who is a wolf in sheep's clothing and Jesus will not allow a wolf to come sweep away one of His precious sheep. Ask Him to keep all the wolves away and only let that ONE in that is a true sheep of His that He has selected for you :-) You can't go wrong that way!
---Holly4jc on 7/14/07


If I were a single woman again I would never,never,never date a non-christian. A christian either, without close scrutiny and much prayer. There are many fake christians out there.Satan lay many traps for Christians. It please him when we fall into them. I would continue on my journey with the Lord and live to learn without men. That would be a hard job to do since I have been involved with men over 50+ yrs but I am willing to learn.
---Robyn on 7/13/07


Definitely not! These days, many marriages arise from dating. And when you are "in love", you are less likely to be thinking right, and can try to rationalize yoking unequally, "I can lead him to the Lord."

One pastor I knew was led to the Lord by his wife, and even he said that it was wrong all the same to disobey the command against unequal yoking. If there were any justification for it, he should be living proof, yet he firmly rejected it.
---Ktisophilos on 7/13/07


Thanks Marcia! Believe me...I've done it my way over and over again before I got saved and it never worked out. All I ended up with was a broken heart. So I decided to let God do the picking, because God sees the heart, I do not. I see what I want to see in a man, but God sees what is really in there and God will only bring me someone who has a heart for HIM first so that my mate can then have a heart for me and love me as Jesus loves me. :-)
---Holly4jc on 7/13/07


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Holly: I admire your Faith in God. I say Amen and Amen.
---Marcia on 7/12/07


I've only dated a non-Christian BEFORE I was a Christian! Since becoming a Christian, I do not date at all. God will bring me my mate when He decides it is time and God will let me know that the man He has brought into my life is the one that He has chosen for me. :-) I will ONLY date the man I am going to marry. To date anyone else would be pointless.
---Holly4jc on 7/11/07


I do not believe it is right. The bible teaches us not to be unequally yoked with unbelievers. I want someone who shares the most important thing with me - my faith.
---hadaa7675 on 7/11/07


2 Corn.6:14-17 Do NOT be unequally yoked together with UN-BELIEVERS, for what fellowship has Righteous with UN-Righteouness.
What does Light & Darkness have in Common?
What does Christ & the Devil have in common?
What part has a BELIEVER with an UN-BELIEVER?
What agreement has God's temple with IDOLS?
You are the TEMPLE of the Living God.
vs. 17 COME Out from among THEM & be seperate..
(Don't even go there)
---Charla on 7/11/07


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2 Cor 6:14 Be you not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship has righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion has light with darkness?
---a_servant on 7/11/07


No. Non- Christians have only embraced two kind of love- Eros or lust and Philos of selfish love. They have not Known how to trully love since thay have not yet or ever embraced God's Agape love. Which is to love when it hurts, to love the unlovable, or to love when no love is heing given back. Non-Christian don't know how to love.
---Marcia on 7/11/07


No. chances are if the Christian isn't strong in their walk with God, then they will convert back over to sin, and therefore living a sinful life. But if the christian has a strong walk with God and maybe the non-christian will convert over to God. But I imagine it would be hard.
---Rebecca_D on 7/11/07


Never. Don't date a pseudo Christian, either.
Why, because the enemy will use it to try and destroy your relationship with Jesus Christ and possibly ruin your life. You won't pull them in while you date, they'll pull you out. For the OSAS, and You Can't Lose, here's another situation where your doctrine does not fly. For those folks, you can marry an unbeliever, fall away from Jesus Christ and still make it to heaven. Well, it does not work that way. The Bible says so.
---Jenny on 7/11/07


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If you date a non Christian, fall totally away from God, even to the point where your mind becomes reprobate, are you still OSAS, You Can't Lose. No, you're not. You will be a goner. If you end up marrying the non Christian, you will have very little. Financial security and worldly riches may entice you, but it is easier for a poor man with Jesus to make to heaven, than an unequally yoked marriage with the unbeliever dragging the believer down with them.
---Jenny on 7/11/07


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