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Should I Date A Non-Christian

Is it right for a Christian to date a non-Christian? I think that when ones heart tells them to do what your heart tells you to do. You never know if that is God's way of being a witness to that non-Christian.

Moderator - Biblically no.

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 ---Charlene on 7/25/07
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i think that if you were to date a non christian you should try t help them grow closer to christ b/c he said not to "MARRY" someone non christian
---kristin on 6/6/12


Deuteronomy 21:10 When thou goest forth to war against thine enemies, and the LORD thy God hath delivered them into thine hands, and thou hast taken them captive, And seest among the captives a beautiful woman, and hast a desire unto her, that thou wouldest have her to thy wife,


You mean they can take the wife of the enemy, a pagan wife

Listen: If two pagans get married they have both entered a Godly institution whether they like it or not and we do not ask then to get marriaed again when they enter the church.

If a pagan and a believer get married, they also have enetered a Godly institution

Is it easier if two christians get married?
What do the divorce rates say?

Find and be a good HELP MEET
---francis on 3/19/12


last time i checked, salvation was in christ, not in a spouse.

There is nothing in the bible that stops one human being from marring another.

There are many many many Non-Jews including Rahab the harlot, Bathsheba, Tamar, the father of tomothy a christian who married jews,
and even more jews who marred none jews including Joseph, Queen esther, Moses
---francis on 3/19/12


You are all aware that 2010/2011 Christian's and Catholics utilised the Australian Family Court as a result of divorce more than unbelievers right?

So all these scriptures you quote don't seem to mean much if the end result with a like minded Christian or Catholic is divorce.
---Richard on 3/19/12


I agree with Rich b/c I experienced everything he said. I was dating a non-christian and all the relationship brought was pain,sorrow,shame and embarrassment.He used suttle ways and/or passive aggressive ways to make me feel less than human. I'm writing this with a black eye,swollen hand,numb mouth and bruises and scrabs dispersed all over me.I had a brief spout w/ alcoholism which helped cause this.I am so very ashamed and embarrassed though my heart is truely repentant.I'm just so lonely.
---rainshadow on 6/4/11




idk. . .i can't date my best friend because he's a believer and i am not. . .
---emi on 3/30/11


How do you handle failure?
---Carla on 9/14/10


#1 Rick your wrong, better go read your Bible some more. In Christianity there are no casual relationships between a man and a women. Dating is for marriage. Not my rule -God's. Marriage is being yoked because being yoked simply means together as one as in United. God says that when we marry we become one flesh. You cannot unite darkness with the light because the darkness will not accept the light and it will cause big problems. That person living in darkness will try to turn you away from God. He will not support or bolster your faith he will destroy it. God made a man and women to marry and become help mates to one another. We are polar opposites. You won't have to ask anyone this question when you meet the right Christian guy.
---Rich on 9/13/10


2Cor6:14 is not about marriage. First, marriage isn't a "yoke". More important a single union (a mismatch) of many (yourselves, unbelievers) would be an orgy. Subsequent verses indicate the Corinthians apparently asked about joining a pagan congregation's temple. And Paul said no.
In 1Cor Paul answers the C/NC question with "I have been given no instruction". Thus you may date or not as you wish.
I suggest you invite the guy to church. If he says no, it may be because he doesn't want to go, doesn't think the invitation is sincere, or maybe because he needs to buy a suit. You don't know, you never will. So invite him again. You'll get a better idea of his faith/beliefs than just what he says.
Good luck
---Rick on 7/9/10


First you will be directly disobiedent to God's word not to be unequally yoked. I was saved after I was married. It breaks my heart that my husband of 25-years and I don't share this most important part of our lives. You sit in church alone, you may not be able to tithe, you attend church functions without him, etc, etc, and you really don't fit in except in women's groups but miss all of the couple functions. I started a small group for women w/unsaved or not walking the talk husbands. Read and study 1Peter 3:1-2. You thinking this is the way God will lead him to salvation is a lie of Satan. Please obey God's word and stop seeing him.
---Mary on 6/16/10




Please take it from me. I just got out of divorce my husband told me he was A Christian, he even went through baptism and lied to the pastor just to marry me. So I believed him, then four months into the marriage he started to abuse me. His family was Catholic. I'm trying not to scare you but to save you from hardships. I can and will remarry only unto the Lord as 1st Corinthians teaches us. It is going to be a long battle. Some people don't know the true doctrine. Please don't get married you'll thank me later GOD has some wonderful person planned for you....That's what he ordains...if we marry a non believer he does not Ordain it, the marriage is sanctified threw the Believer ...
---alison on 3/17/10


"Do not be unequally yoked." "What has Righteousness to do with unrighteousness?" Witness all you like, preach salvation unto those who are yet ignorant of the Lord's Grace...but do not be taken in by the notion you will "save" a non-Christian once you start dating.

Their thoughts on priorities, finances, family, morality, tithing, prayer, education, vices, etc. are sure to be non-Biblical. As a Christian, can you practice your faith and find agreement on these things with a non-believing spouse? Such relationships quickly become stale and mutually detached, for our spiritual alignments bind our perceptions, and our relationships.
---Elaine on 3/14/10


I have to say that I am shocked by the majority of replies on here. I have been a Christian for over twenty years. I was married with 2 lovely Children. Sadly that didn't work out. Although I have regular contact. What happened to judge not less ye be judged. I find it difficult that there are people on here that will take scripture out of context and give advice that has not been thought through. We are talking about real people real lives here. I am dumbstruck that someone on here called them the enemy! Where would Jesus be if he was on earth today? In your Church celebrating and Worshiping the father or out there showing love, tenderness and compassion to all the broken people. Please stop to think before writing so much emotionless text.
---Rob on 3/14/10


If you want to walk in the perfect will of God,you have to obey his words,he says don't fornicate you don't,don't married unqually yoke you don't do it.that seek him first in all things we do, and our faithful God will give you the perfect man or woman without no sorrow. I believe a christian have to wait on the Lord
---henry8665 on 2/16/10


I have to agree with everyone here. Having just been RELIEVED of an entanglement with a nonbeliever, I know God is in control of every part of our lives. Honestly, He just truly knows what's best to us. Of course, this is all Chinese to people who don't believe. Ultimately, you would be missing out on the coolest, most intimate and awesome challenge in a relationship, which Christ alone truly brings.
---Jen on 12/13/09


You are clearly deluding yourself. If you marry a non-christian you are on your own. You are in strict disobedience to the word of God. Whatever happens to you will be your fault. Don't go blaming God when things begin to fall apart for you. People are good at doing that when they see their sin and evilness , presenting problems for themselves. They want to do an about face and blame everyone accept,themselves. Where the blame belongs. Christians have enough to deal with. Why sleep with the enemy? A non-christian is in partnership with the devil. Don't you know that, by now?
---Robyn on 12/4/09


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If you are a Christian, don't make the mistake of dating a non-christian. If the person is right for you, wait until you know they believe before you date them. I made the mistake of marrying someone who doesn't believe in God, and though he promised he'd support me and go to church with me- and I hoped he would come to believe, it didn't happen. Now I'm married to someone who doesn't have any understanding of faith, and it has been destroying me. I teach the kids about God, but they only have me to view as an example, and its not fair to them. Don't date a non-christian. You deserve to have someone that will support you in your faith, and help you grow closer to God- not tear you away.
---Laur on 12/2/09


I know some guys at my mens group that have Married the women God had converted. So it is OK to try and convert some one you want to date or marry, but as it says in the bible, your spouse has an influential role on your life and you should not marry them, so you should approach a non-believer delicately.
---Joel on 12/2/09


Jess: The passage you quoted in 1 Cor.7 talks about those who have married non-believing husbands & vice versa. If you are not yet married, you still have an opportunity to seek God's face to know if your intention to marry the man that pleases you in is God's will & plan for you. You do not own yourself. EXCEPT THE LORD BUILDS the house, they labour in vain that build it..Ps.127:1. Those who have experienced a wrong union can tell you it is a very-bitter & regrettable experience. Make your choice with God.
---Adetunji on 12/2/09


ok, im a college student writing a paper on its ok to date a non-christian. i personally believe its ok to date a non-christian, i had my first relationship to a non-christian, he knew about god and beleived in him, but not in a proper sense. i was raised in a church, but never told not to date a non-christian. i am now engaged and going to be married to boy i first dated, he became a christian because of me. am i in the wrong for dating him. i do not beleve so, in 1 Co 7:14"For the unbelieving husband has been sanctified through his wife, and the unbelieving wife has been sanctified through her believing husband. Otherwise your children would be unclean, but as it is, they are holy. " isnt that saving them?
---jess on 12/1/09


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You all refer to the old Testament, but what does Jesus say about this. After all he is love. Our relationship with God is the same as a christian dating a non believer. Christ died for us when we were yet sinners,and loved us though we were in the world . We also pushed against God when he opened his hand of grace to us. So don't say a christian can't date a non believer when Christ has done it himself.
---Steven on 9/10/09


You all refer to the old Testament, but what does Jesus say about this. After all he is love. Our relationship with God is the same as a christian dating a non believer. Christ died for us when we were yet sinners,and loved us though we were in the world . We also pushed against God when he opened his hand of grace to us. So don't say a christian can't date a non believer when Christ has done it himself.
---Steven on 9/10/09


You all refer to the old Testament, but what does Jesus say about this. After all he is love. Our relationship with God is the same as a christian dating a non believer. Christ died for us when we were yet sinners,and loved us though we were in the world . We also pushed against God when he opened his hand of grace to us. So don't say a christian can't date a non believer when Christ has done it himself.
---Steven on 9/10/09


I think it's very important to remember that an unequally yoked relationship is hard, but not always heartbreaking. God used the unequally yoked analogy because the ox does ALLLLL the work while the donkey stops and pulls in the opposite direction. It's an awful lot of work is what it is. Finding the commonalities are often hard, so I believe God wants us to "pull together."

However, it doesn't mean it will end in divorce or be a horrific and violent relationship. Christian divorce rates are just as high as secular rates. It just meanst that when times get tough, and they will, a double braided cord is harder to break. Praise Him, he is always true, but there is mercy to us.
---sheba on 1/5/09


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OK, before everyone jumps on me, I admit I left out option 4. - the person being dated could become a Christian. However, in my experience with over 20 years of involvement in singles ministry, I am sorry to report that out of probably 500 singles I have met, I can not name a single case where a person became a Christian through "missionary dating". The stories of heartbreak are overwhelming though. That does not mean God can not do it though. The best thing to do is restrict the "dating" to Church activities or singles group outings. That is the compromise I would recommend until the person is a SOLID Christian.
---obewan on 12/16/08


NO! Do not be unequally yoked. Never date a person that we currently would not be able to marry. So-called "missionary dating" can fail drastically: 1.)The relationship gets serious, and breaks up, and the reason is because the person is not a Christian. What a poor witness. His/Her bitterness to God may result from the rejection. 2.)The person may "fake" conversion just to have the marriage. I can name countless divorced singles who are familiar with this story. They thought they were marrying a Christian, only to end up with a total God hating pagan. Another possibility, is that the unbeliever will drag the believer away from Christ. I know people who did that, and came back to God 20 years later - divorced.
---obewan on 12/15/08


Gaige:

There are few things in life that are black and white. There are some things that are "generally wise", and others that are "generally unwise', but of course exceptions happen - sometimes bad things happen even if you make a wise choice, sometimes good things happen even if you make an unwise one.

Still, wise advice is there for a GOOD reason - because it tends to be right most of the time. So, it's generally best to follow it unless you have a good reason not to do so.
---StrongAxe on 12/14/08


I know it isnt right to be unequally yoked, but i was saved because my girlfriend drew me towards church and witnessed. Now our relationship has been going on for 2 and a half years and were growing spiritually together. I will never condemn dating a non christian, but i would question the christians spiritual maturity first
---Gaige on 12/11/08


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My best friend has been dating someone out of her faith for months. They are talking about marriage. Should she break up with him?
---Elle on 5/9/08


All I will say is that the divorce rate amongst christians is as bad as non- christians.Isn't that a real shame.Yet the bible does say to not be unequally yoked.We christians set a bad example concerning marriage.non christian divorce rate is 52%-- christain divorce rate is 52%.
---lee_a._leblanc on 7/30/07


You have to ask, when the Bible is clear about NOT being unequally yoked? Even with "successful" missionary dating, the one saved through it still advises against it. By analogy, a Christian conceived out of wedlock is glad to be alive, but doesn't thereby approve of fornication.

God in his mercy can bring good out of evil. But Rom. 6:1-2--

"Are we to continue in sin that grace may abound? By no means! How can we who died to sin still live in it?"
---Ktisophilos on 7/27/07


Biblically...no... but if you insist on doing your own thing ...go ahead! Disobedience carries a high price tag,sometimes. We always suffer one way or another when we refuse to do thing God's way. Now you know now you can make your own decision. I hope you choose to do the right thing. Read St John 14:26 also Acts 8:29. Learn to be led by the Holy Spirit in all that you do.
---Robyn on 7/27/07


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Well, who am I to assume you are in a really Christian church where there are true Christian brothers?

Also, if you're not living like you need to, you won't be able to get the interest of a brother who is a sound Christian (they can tell). Among other things > if you are willing to compromise by getting with an unsaved guy, how can you connect with a committed brother who refuses to sell Jesus out?

God knows us. We are getting what He knows we are really ready for, at this time.
---Bill_bila5659 on 7/27/07


"'But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you.'" (Matthew 6:33)

God will perfectly satisfy you in His love, FIRST, THEN lead you and make the way for all He has for you. Don't shop while you're hungry. Invest in learning how to love, and THIS will truly fulfill you >

"'Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.'" (Matthew 11:29)
---Bill_bila5659 on 7/27/07


B4 I bcame a christian, I married a non believer,an atheist yet he supports me in everything I do for the church. He never ever stop me from my activities in the church. We have now been together 37 years and still going strong..Am still praying 4him and his family..
---jana on 7/27/07


B4 I bcame a christian, I married a non believer,an atheist yet he supports me in everything I do for the church. He never ever stop me from my activities in the church. We have now been together 37 years and still going strong..Am still praying 4him and his family..My advise, if your a believer, seek God's advise reverently first. Be faithful n listen to Him. He will answer u
---jana on 7/27/07


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Foolish people follow their hearts, wise people follow the Word of God and the Holy Spirit. The Bible says to be NOT unequally yoked to an unbeliever. It is easier for them to pull you down, than for you to pull them up.
---Leslie on 7/26/07


I grew up in the church. I didn't think that dating a non-Christian was wrong either. To make a long story short, I ended up having pre-marital sex, married, and now divorced. The scripture says "Don't be unequally yoked". You may think that you could be a witness to that person, but that person is thinking that they can get you to fall away from your beliefs. Plus, it goes directly against the Bible (which isn't a very good witness anyway). Please take my advice and learn from my mistakes.
---Tiffany on 7/26/07


Sometimes dating leads to marriage. If you marry an unbeliever, you will have in-law problems. Your Father is God. His father is the devil. That makes for some major "disagreement" that will lead to many "disagreements".
---Linda on 7/26/07


Charlene, Please read 2Cor6:14 where it is very specific about never being unequally yoked with a nonbeliever and goes on to say why. Also, dating leads to marriage to which the Bible teaches that we may marry "only in the Lord",1Cor7:39. The entire concept of Christian dating is tricky to start with in that fornication is a risk. Please do not fall into the trap. Don't decieve yourself into thinking YOU can SAVE him by dating. What you see is what you get. Only consider BORN AGAIN CHRISTIANS
---jody on 7/26/07


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God doesn't tell you to go by your heart, he tells you to go by his spirit and word. Your heart is evil, controlled by circumstances, and emotions which change from day to day but God's word is proven correct every time. God says to not have communion, fellowship, or be yoked together with unbelievers. Go ahead and be a witness but keep your distance.
---john on 7/26/07


It is truly up to the person, but remember what the Bible says. Can two walk together except they agree?? The Bible also says, what does light have in common with darkness. I say pray and ask God to lead you about what to do. Cause our heart can tell us anything but what is the Holy Spirit telling you. I know from experience that dating a non-christian will be a hinderance to your spiritual life.
---Monica on 7/26/07


Charlene, I don't know what you mean by dating. But if you mean getting emotionally involved and potentially in love, and this because you are attracted to the person . . . absolutely no way > Satan's people can CHARM, and be SO-O attractive, but NOT getting you into God's love so perfectly satisfying and having you love ALL people > Satanic romance gets us AWAY from loving ALL, and merely glorifying some one person who NEEDS to be HUMBLED.
---Bill_bila5659 on 7/26/07


I would not recommed it at all. Two reasons, 1.you would be unequally yoked. 2.If you hang around a sinner long enough, they can drag you back into sin. Because it is easier to give into what the flesh wants rather than obeying God. What you feed the most, will grow the most. If you feed your flesh with worldy things, it will grow and become stronger. If you feed your spirit with the word, it will grow stronger. Walk in the spirit and you shall not fulfil the lust of the flesh.
---Rebecca_D on 7/26/07


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Evangelism dating is wrong. There are many times a person will post here that they married an unbeliever and that they regret it terribly.

Study the Bible and stop going on your feelings. Scripture is clear about this one. Only date people that are believers.
---Madison1101 on 7/26/07


No,it isn't right to date a non christian.For one reason,The bible says not to be unequally yoked.And if you dated a non christian,and you are a christian you would be unequally yoked.Which means no matter if you are dating someone,engaged,or marrying someone that is a non believer that you will be unequally yoked.You can date them,but it would not be a wise thing to do.You can witness to them as a friend.You should pray about this and read the Bible.
---Angea on 7/25/07


No,God will never tell you to go against His Word, the Bible, and thats what dating a nonChristian is doing. You are listening to Satans lies not God if you believe God would use that to witness to the person. Satan has laid a snare for your soul,don't be foolish enough to get caught by it. Date only Christians. You aren't to be unequally yoked,a believer to a nonbeliver.
---Darlene_1 on 7/25/07




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