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Girlfriend Made Out With Worker

I recently found out that my girlfriend (age 26) made out with a co-worker (age 46) a month ago while on assignment in China. Besides the obvious hurt and betrayal, I am finding myself angry all the time as we had talked about getting married in the future. How do I deal with these emotions?

Moderator - Move on as non married Christians don't make out.

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 ---Darren on 7/28/07
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"What does making out mean to you and to her?" Jody, I'm English and I'm not familiar with the term 'making out' either but I'm guessing that it means the same as 'sleeping together' or 'having sex' means here in England. Am I correct Darren? If so, Darren has every right to be extremely hurt and she was 100% wrong. It is not only in marriage that this action is wrong. The commitment should still be there and this shows she has no commitment to him.
---RitaH on 8/3/07


First what she did was wrong, if she was attracted to someone else she should have broken up with you, 2nd be glad it happened now instead of getting married & her commiting adultry.Better to catch them early on instead of paying a bigger price later.
---canda on 7/29/07


Susie, it's only funny because it's not the norm. If it was the norm, more than 47% of married couples would be able to stay married. But evangelism dating, invite all of your nutty buddies over, entice them in with a trail of crumbs that lead to the couch.
Unholy rollers around on the couch, floor - call it dating. See you next Sunday for one of my 'special lasagne' dishes. I promise to tell you to stop mauling me as I give you a big kick in the pants as you head home. See you next week.
---Nanny on 7/29/07


What does making out mean to you and to her? You are not engaged or married. Are you both Christian? So many factors. Take this to the Lord in prayer and ask Him for wisdom and healing which He will give to anyone who asks. Since you are not married, she has done nothing wrong to you but may be in trouble spiritually with God. Forgivenes and prayer for her is in order and a mature Christian outlook. Is this a woman you would marry? Is this a woman you could trust in a large matter? Back off.
---jody on 7/29/07


When a trust has been broken, time must be invested before healing and restoration can take place. If I was in your situation, I'd separate for a while and re-evaluate the relationship after the emotions have calmed down. Your girlfriend must start at square one again in proving her remorse and her trustworthiness. After some time apart, her actions will tell you if she is sincere or not.
---DoryLory on 7/29/07




I think the Moderators comment on this blog is one of the funniest I have seen yet. In the real world Christians make mistakes. If Christians did not ever make out, they would probably never get married as they would be considered frigid!
---Susie on 7/28/07


Dump her and find a faithful woman who will not betray you.
---Madison1101 on 7/28/07


Darren, forgiveness is going to be your first step in dealing with the emotions. Have you been forgiven by God? Of course you have, through Christ. Give that away and it will increase in your life. Although you have talked about getting married in the future, you live in the now...and the now is dealt with one day at a time, abiding in Christ and knowing that it is He who completes you.
---Linda on 7/28/07


Is your girlfriend still interested in a relationship with you? If she is, forgiving her is going to be a major aspect of healing for the both of you. Jesus Himself has already done more than enough to heal the both of you if you will just rest in that and let His nature flow out of you. God bless you.
---Linda on 7/28/07


Moderator - Move on as non married Christians don't make out.

Obviously, they do. You live in a bubble if you think they don't. Not saying that is a godly thing to do but it does take place, a lot more often than any of us think and even in those we think wouldn't.
---Linda on 7/28/07




How did you find out? This would be my first question, and I'd ask it to her. (If it's just "hear-say" from someone else, you don't know if it's true." If it's true, I than find out why. If you aren't satisfied with the answers, it may be best just to forget the whole thing. Even if you decide to stay, it would be wise to wait at least two more years before dealing with marriage.
---wivv on 7/28/07


I'm sorry you are hurt. Betrayal is not easy to deal with but I am reminded of Jesus, who knew that Judas was a thief and was going to betray Him, yet still gave him charge of the money bag and ate with him at the last supper. I can't imagine what it must have been like for Jesus, looking into the face of His betrayer day after day after day and still loving him unconditionally. Losing him had to have broken His heart.
---Linda on 7/28/07


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