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Forgiven But Still Hurt

If a person says that they have forgiven someone yet they still feel hurt by that persons actions or words is that evidence that have not really forgiven the other person? What advice do you have to get rid of the hurt?

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 ---Ritah on 7/28/07
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Forgiveness is like pulling the knife out of the wound. Healing may take a while after that, but it can at least take place.

Trying to heal while maintaining a grudge is like trying to heal a wound with a knife still embedded in it. It's not likely to be very effective.
---StrongAxe on 3/7/08


When I go to the Lord in prayer and tell him that you're having trouble getting rid of the hurt. This will not surprise him. Then ask him to take this hurt away. He has said, we can put our cares on him because he cares for us.
---Mima on 3/7/08


If you forgive them work on getting over the hurt. It will not go away on its own. You have to see the benefit in letting the hurt go.You are receiving some type pleasure in holding onto the pain.Look within your heart and the answer will be there.
---Robyn on 3/7/08


Forgiveness does not take away the consequences of our sins. If I sin against someone, they are hurt and forgiving me does not take away that hurt.
---Madison1101 on 3/7/08


"Well, who is bringing this person back to mind and then making you suffer? The person you forgave isn't doing this > likely he or she isn't even thinking about you, right?" Wrong Bill. This person not only thinks about it all but continues to provoke. So much so that I have to keep my distance. I agree that praying for that person is the only answer and I hope in time things will change. I agree with what you say about Satan, and I believe he is working hard, through this other person.
---RitaH on 8/2/07




Feeling hurt is not being angry. Jesus felt hurt when on the cross. But he forgave those who crucified Him. It is not easy to feel kindly towards unind people. But we should do our best to feel kindly in such cases. And acknowlege that they are as deserving of God's love as you are. Never wish bad upon them. And don't wish them to go to Hell as that is sin. We are to be known for our love - John 13:34. Lack of love can be dealt with same way as unbelief - Mark 9:24.
---Debby on 7/29/07


Just because a person has been hurt that doesn't mean that we aren't capable of forgiving them. I had a very, very hard time forgiving some people. Even when I became a christian, I couldn't forgive them. I did, with alot of help from God. That hurt will always be there, but God is like a huge bandaid with all the ointement. Like when one of my kids gets hurt, it takes a mommy's touch to make it better. The same with God and his children. When we get hurt, he is right there with the bandaid.
---Rebecca_D on 7/29/07


Well, who is bringing this person back to mind and then making you suffer? The person you forgave isn't doing this > likely he or she isn't even thinking about you, right?

But if you can still suffer when the memory comes back, I'd say pray in love and forgiveness for the person. Now, that you are a stronger Christian, you can do a BETTER job of lovingly praying and forgiving him or her. Keep doing this, and I'll "bet" Satan will stop reminding you of the thing.
---Bill_bila5659 on 7/29/07


It is only God who is able to forgive and forget our trespasses. When someone sins against us and we are able to decide to forgive them as God wills, we are not always healed of the pain that went along with the assault of that sin. Time and a great deal of prayer heals. Sometimes we are healed of the pain but will never again trust that certain person in some area again and rightfully so. It does not mean that we haven't forgiven.
---jody on 7/29/07


Forgiveness is a decision, and emotions often don't match your decision to do the right thing for yourself, forgive. If may take awhile for your emotions to catch up to forgiveness. But keep praying and choosing to forgive this person, it will come.

Victims of crimes against them/family members, have been able to forgive their attackers. I am reminded of that Christian man who recently lost his wife and daughters in a brutal attack.
---Tim on 7/29/07




A truck load of band aides...I jest. But seriously, some hurts done to us never leave, and we must live with them. But God truly promises us that one day he will wipe away all tears from our eyes, and there will be no more death, neither sorrow, nor crying, neither will there be any more pain: for the former things will be passed away.
---Eloy on 7/29/07


Forgiveness is a decision. The hurt will leave as the relationship is restored. These things take time. If you want to hurry the process along, purposefully plant seeds of love into the person's life. Love is an action and love is sincere. Think of ways to demonstrate love to the person and the hurt feelings will soon vanish. I like to paraphrase 1 Peter 4:8 as: Love covers over a multitude of mistakes. It's the truth, check out Proverbs 10:12.
---DoryLory on 7/29/07


Forgiveness is an act that is required of Christians and Jews. The healing process may take years, but it cannot begin until one forgives.
---William on 7/29/07


Ask Jesus to take it away, is about the surest answer I can give you, but even that takes time. There are no shortcuts,beloved. Why can't you sincerely forgive this person? The pain is still there because you are faking it. Until you really forgive, you are going to feel the pain of it. Forgiveness is not an easy task but we must learn to do it or else we will continually go through what you are experiencing now.
---Robyn on 7/28/07


I believe the hurt is a result of the loss of relationship, not the actions or words. I don't imagine Jesus was pain free on the cross even though He said, "Father, forgive them for they know not what they do." Surely He has borne our griefs and carried our sorrows, yet we esteemed Him smitten by God and afflicted. But He was wounded for our transgressions, bruised for our iniquities, the chastisement of our peace was upon Him, and with His stripes we are healed.
---Linda on 7/28/07


I believe the hurt is a result of the loss of relationship, not the actions or words. I don't imagine Jesus was pain free on the cross even though He said, "Father, forgive them for they know not what they do." Surely He has borne our griefs and carried our sorrows, yet we esteemed Him smitten by God and afflicted. But He was wounded for our transgressions, bruised for our iniquities, the chastisement of our peace was upon Him, and with His stripes we are healed.
---Linda on 7/28/07


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Take your hurt and turn to the Savior, believing that He has carried it away. The gospel effectually works in them that believe.
---Linda on 7/28/07


Well it depends on what it is that you did to hurt that person. Different things and situations hurts more than others. So what was it.
---tim on 7/28/07


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