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Relieved Stress Through Drinking

My dad is a very hardworking individual who always vents all of his stress through drinking and smoking. My family tried to help by checking him into rehabilitation but he refuses. He denies he has any problem at all. Please tell me what I can do tohelp him without turning to rehab.

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 ---Sam on 8/1/07
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Sam, the best and about only thing you can do for your Dad is to pray for him and his salvation, and keep loving him through all of this. Jesus is the only One Who can truly help him. Jesus took all sin on the Cross, including alcohol and tobacco addictions.
---Helen_5378 on 8/12/07


Sam - try to hold on to faith in Christ to change your dad's heart. I'll be praying that your father desire God and you remember this is not in your control - its in the Lord's and your father's. When it gets bad - pray and hold fast bc it can be a bumpy ride but God is sooo very good.
---Andrea on 8/12/07


There is nothing you can do to convince your father if he is not ready, or willing to seek help. Pray for him and attend Al-Anon meetings to help you learn to cope and not be an enabler.
---Trish0863 on 8/2/07


Sam, the best thing you can do (besides pray) is to stop being his enabler. You can't make him seek help unless and until he wants it. Like Step 1 says, he has to himself come to realize thiat his life is unmangeable.

You yourself might find help and support from AlAnon (for famlies of alcoholics) and Adult Childen of Alcoholics (ACOA).
---Jack on 8/2/07


Sam, the idea just occurred to me that your dad could be a workaholic--he's medicating himself with hard work to keep from dealing with other issues, just like he medicates himself with alcohol to keep from dealing with his real issues.

There frequently are cross-addictions.
---Jack on 8/2/07




3) Continue to Pray. Once he realizes that he is at bottom with nowhere to turn, he will realize that there is a problem and he will seek both God and help from rehab. It will be critical to allow him to complete rehab before allowing back into the home as if he returns prematurely, he will have learned nothing. It will also be important to let him know of your support while he is in rehab. I hope its not this serious. But if so, I hope all of this works out. Blessings.
---jody on 8/1/07


Your dad need to give his life and heart to Jesus and he won't need to use these crutches to make himself feel better . We all live harried and stressed lives. Most of us anyway.Drinking and smoking is not the answer. Both addictions are nasty,ugly demons that eventually kill. Hardwork,drinking and smoking. A triple threat to his health. Wise up and seek help for these very dangerous addictions that will kill him in the end.
---Robyn on 8/1/07


Sam: Your dad need to find more soothing and less dangerous ways to relax. Try listening to soft music that he loves, a nice massage, hot baths are good. A nice foot rub, back rubs,fishing. Reading is so relaxing and fun. There are many safe ways to relax and ease stress and tension. Please put down the cigarettes and bottle. Blessings
---Robyn on 8/1/07


1) Due to the word # limitations it is hard to get the scope of these problems. Is he a violent durnken lunatic or moderate drinker? Is he covering a mental illness? Is his physical health at risk? Is it a serious problem or a spiritual one precieved only by others? Lets assume that it is serious as you have concidered Rehab(possibly for detox and 12step?)but he is in total denial and not ready for such action. Please see my response number 2.
---jody on 8/1/07


2) To help, pray. However, this man must fall flat on his face before he will seek help. YOU can do nothing except restrain yourself from rescuing/enabling him. If you love him, the family must be tough and allow him to experience complete defete. This may mean that the family may need to completely reject him due to his behavior. Even if this means that he spends a night or so in a homeless shelter and loses his job, it is better than losing his life and soul. please read 3.
---jody on 8/1/07




I hope you don't forget to pray and let him know you are. It is a powerful influence when someone knows you are praying for them. Maybe this would help him to realize he needs help. Also, if his boss at work would help you with a few hints, that would be helpful too, so go and see what he says. He may be happy to help out as your dad's work may be suffering from all this too.
---john on 8/1/07


You can do what is right for yourself. And tell him the truth about what he REALLY needs.

Jesus gives us rest for our souls so we are not being manipulated by workaholic and alcoholic passions that are cruel and dominating, of Satan's DICTATORSHIP.

"'Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.'" (Matthew 11:29)
---Bill_bila5659 on 8/1/07


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