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Boyfriend Says Church Is Boring

My boyfriend believes that you do not have to go to church in order to go to heaven. I go to church and I try to get him to go to but he thinks its boring. He says being a good person will get him there. I want to marry him and I have kids by him but I'm having doubts because of that.

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 ---Janelle on 8/1/07
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All denominational churches (having thier own traditions, ways of living, and interpretations of the Bible) are of Satan. Even your non-denominational churches are the same. They repeat the sermons month after month. How many times will you need to listen to the Christmas story or the Easter story? Churches rarely delve into the heart of the Word of God. Your boyfriend is absolutely right, it is boring.

Large churches are the worse. You are nothing but another face in the crowd and hearers only of the Word.

Jesus' church is living. A handful of people gathered together daily encouraging each other to stay on the right path to the Kingdom of God. Seriously look into the benefits of home churches.
---Steveng on 7/14/08


Your boyfriend is correct. He is also incorrect in thinking that being good will get you to heaven. It takes true salvation to find out how wretched you really are. You should have serious doubts about marrying this person. Wrong relationships can destroy you for life. As always, if you are a true believer, pray.
---catherine on 7/13/08


The Lord never commanded against public worship (He advises against praying in public).

The Lord was always was never glorified by hypocrisy (Amos 5:21)...

"I hate, I despise your feasts, and I take..."

Maybe your boyfriend is very sincere in his devotion/relationship.
---more_excellent_way on 7/13/08


Are we missing the point that the blogger said, "I have kids by him", not that she would like to have them? So, if he is willing to marry her she could abide in Paul's advice 1 Cor 7.
---Nana on 7/12/08


Never marry a man not stable in Christ or his unbelief will distroy your faith in Both him and more important God.

He's neither hot nor cold and thats not the right place to be in if you want to marry.

Wait for his Testimony in Christ and make sure it's sure, with praise and thanks giving, then you'll know he's not ashamed of the gospel of Christ.

If he's ashamed to own God now and do his will, God will not own him come judgment day.
---Carla5754 on 7/12/08




It sounds like you do not understand what salvation is about. I believe you need to read the Bible and learn about salvation, as well as marriages between unbelievers and believers.
---Trish9863 on 7/11/08


There is really no such thing as a "good" person. The apostle Paul told us that there was no good thing in him- or us for that matter. Being well-behaved doesn't mean you are right with God. But going to church isn't what saves you either. Accepting Jesus into the heart is the first step- without that, marriage between a believer and an unbeliever is highly discouraged in the Word.
---Aggie on 10/30/07


Some churches are boring. They have a routine and they know what to do or sing and say by their schudule. If the Pastor preaches longer than he should, some get upset. I went to a Church one Sunday morning, my kids had bible school all week. While the speaker was teaching. It was about 15 till 10:00, she got up and rang a bell. He hurried up and at 10:00 she rang the bell twice. Then she just cut the man's sermon off, and told the people to turn to this page to sing a song. CONT:
---Rebecca_D on 10/29/07


CONT: More on that church, it was boring. When they sang that song I shall not be moved, boy they wasn't kidding. When I go to church, I want to be in the presence of the Lord. I want the Holy Ghost to come down and have his way with the church. The church I go to is a lively church. If one person quenches the spirit, it ruins the whole service.
---Rebecca_D on 10/29/07


Hi, when I read your question I felt the need to respond. 2 cor. 6:14 tells us not to be come unequally yoke with an unbeliever. There is a very good reason for that scripture. Your marriage will be nothing but heartache and struggle. God wants to spare you all of that missery that will take place should you choose this marriage, and having children with this person. God Bless. Prey and make the right choice
---pam on 10/29/07




Key: Has he accepted Jesus as his Lord & Savior? If not, you will be unequally yoked, something the Bible warns against. If he refuses that invitation now, and refuses going to church, be advised/warned that generally, IT WORSENS GREATLY AFTER MARRIAGE. It would be rare for you, especially, to lead him to salvation. My advice is, no matter how painful, get out of the relationship. I speak from experience. We both know that being good doesn't mean anything to God.
---Pat on 8/16/07


Another view: Your boyfriend's thinking is way off. You can be ever so good but you must still be born again, or you will not enter heaven. Church is boring because he is spiritually dead and does not understand spiritual things. Of course it is going to be boring to him. Too bad you did not consider this before you had kids with him. I would not marry this man.
---Robyn on 8/16/07


Does your boyfriend belive in God?
---Jaclyn on 8/16/07


Go find a church that is not boring. Or better yet if he wants to marry you tell him he needs to invest in your spiritual lives too. Find a church together.
---Andrea on 8/16/07


I dare to think how the Christians almost 2000 years ago could hardly stand it without the huge screens, contemporary music, padded seats. They must have been bored out of their minds???? I suppose this boredom is what has made the faith last this long. Church is not a form of entertainment, it is where we join together to worship a mighty God, which to me is done in humility. If humility is boring, so be it. It has worked so far.
---LisaB on 8/15/07


"I have seen many people fall asleep during church,"

People work hard all week long. At church they can finally unwind and relax, they feel safe there--and when they do they fall asleep.
---David on 8/15/07


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I have seen many people fall asleep during church, he may have a point.
---yoshin on 8/15/07


This is such a sad post. The boyfriend's heart is hard and his thinking is even worse. Its going to take a tragedy or something worse to open his blind eyes. He has gotten to smart for his own good. That is a death sentence to someone who enters over into this type thinking and attitude. Get ready for along hard journey with this man, since you insist on staying with him. You have to have a man not to set in his ways and thinking, to make a decent marriage with.
---Robyn on 8/3/07


I turned on a channel yesterday, jamel, with exactly that kind of praise and worship.
Large screens, head bangin', so loud, so everything you can hear on a secular station. I could not tell the difference. It was loud noise, that got on your last nerve until you had to turn it off. Kids like it, but it's the world.
---George on 8/3/07


"make it dynamic and relevant to a younger population other wise you church will likely die for lack of stewardship and new members"...making relevant is the very reason why we have a church that is more conformed to the world than ever..what good is packaging if it does not teach believers taht they are to be bearers of light not mixed in with darkness
---jamel on 8/3/07


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Fact of the matter is we do not want to hear truth..this generation has no concern for truth so any truth will be boring..lighting, worship teams, big screens will not do anything for one's sould..it will just keep them entertained for a Sunday Morning service
---Jamel on 8/3/07


This seems like a prospective unequally yoked marriage. All the same, read Why Men Hate Going to Church by David Murrow (2005).
---Ktisophilos on 8/3/07


Catherine: I don't quite understand where you are coming from on your faith and belief system. Attending church is very important. Whether the people are lost or not does not have anything to do with you. Neither does the pastor. When all is said and done we have to work out our own soul salvation. Christ is coming back for a church without a spot or wrinkle. Will you be a part of that church? You need to let go of some of your false teaching and ideas. So many of your posts are so wrong.
---Robyn on 8/2/07


Tell your boyfriend being good will not I repeat will not get you to heaven. Neither will going to church I repeat going to church will not get you to heaven. Infact going to church with a fake preacher and 80% lost people is one absolute bonified way of missing heaven.
---catherine on 8/1/07


How many churches have you told off, catherine? Stood up and gave them the what fors and made a beeline for the door?
---Bob on 8/2/07


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First Jesus Christ is the ONLY way to Heaven, NOT by good works or going to church. If you have not asked Jesus Christ into your heart as your personal Lord and Savior, you will NOT go to Heaven. Second, if this guy thinks that church or God are boring, it's only because he is boring. Serving God is the most exciting thing you can do in life.
---Leslie on 8/2/07


To have a happy marriage, a couple needs to have shared values. If going to church is one of your values and it isn't one of his, than this is a potential problem area between you. Before marrying anyone, you need to have a clear idea of who you are and what it is that makes you who you are. Then find someone who shares the values and lifestyle that make you who you are.
---Robin on 8/2/07


Saying he finds church boring is saying he finds the things of God boring--hardly the attitude of someone who thinks that being "good" will get him into heaven.

And when you say "so-and-so's a good person", you've actually said the LEAST you can say about him, because we are almost all of us good, well-meaning, kiss babies, pet dogs, etc.
---Jack on 8/2/07


Have you actually considered the the structure of your church service could be boring to new visitors. If the service has not changed in 30 years It likely is. It may be fine for older mature Christians but totally irrelevant to younger potential members. It is the responsibility of your pastor and worship planners to be able to package the message of Christ and make it dynamic and relevant to a younger population other wise you church will likely die for lack of stewardship and new members.
---Phil_the_Elder on 8/2/07


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If you ask him, and he says no, then let it go. Don't beg, plead, nothing. Just say okay, and go ahead and go. If you keep on and on about him going, he will not go that much longer. He is right, one doesn't have to go to church to get to heaven. No one can get into heaven by being a good person. If so, hell would be empty. He finds church boring because he is a sinner, of course church will be boring to a sinner. You shouldn't marry him right just yet. You said you go to church, but are you a Christian?
---Rebecca_D on 8/1/07


Are either of you Born Again Christians? In other words are you saved and going to heaven when you die. Going to church does not mean that you will go to heaven. But neither will being a "good person". To go to heaven, you must know Jesus Christ as your personal Lord and Savior. Pls read John3,:3-7 and Romans 10:9-10
---jody on 8/1/07


Well you let your boyfriend know he is dead wrong. Being a good person has no worth with God. We have many good people who will not make it to heaven. You had better follow your gut feeling. This will cause you a lot of problems in the future with this man.It is unfortunate that you have kids by him already. I would definitely wait on marriage.
---Robyn on 8/1/07


This is dangerous. Usually, kids follow their father's religion, not the mother's. So if their father is indifferent to religion, the sons will think of Christianity as a "girly" thing, and also the daughters are likely to marry a man similarly indifferent to Christianity.
---Ktisophilos on 8/1/07


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Tell your boyfriend being good will not I repeat will not get you to heaven. Neither will going to church I repeat going to church will not get you to heaven. Infact going to church with a fake preacher and 80% lost people is one absolute bonified way of missing heaven.
---catherine on 8/1/07


No you donot HAVE to go to church to go to heaven although God does say not to forsake the gathering of fellowship~church /or your congregation is a place to keep "going" & to "re-fuel" besides on your own, this is what you can tell him. GoodWorks will not get anyone to heaven, we can not "earn" our way.
---candice on 8/1/07


Your boyfriend is right, you do not have to go to church to go to heaven. It's what you do with Jesus that determines if you go to heaven or hell. Are you born again? That's the first thing I'd check. Going to church does not make you a Christian.
---betty8468 on 8/1/07


Greetings..Going to church, and being a good person will not get you into Heaven. There is only one way to go to Heaven and that is through Jesus Christ our Lord and Savior. Neither is there salvation in any other: for there is none other name under Heaven given among men, whereby we must be saved. Acts 4:12. I would suggest that you think twice about this relationship.
---Cynthia on 8/1/07


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