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Husband Says I Am Stupid

What do I do when my husband repeatedly tells me how stupid I am. He is constantly telling me how I have messed up and how is life has gone down hill since marrying me.

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 ---naomi on 8/28/07
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Can you get him to tell HOW you are being stupid, so you can see if this is real (some people make mistakes, in terms of employment I know I have) and how it can be sorted out.

Just saying you are stupid it doesn't help - if he wants to benefit things he has to explain why.

Of course, he may just be exasperated in general, and getting out on you?
---Peter on 5/3/12


Stop being stupid.
---Jed on 5/2/12


Seriously get their attention, and ask them, "My caring husband, what does that make you, if you married a stupid person? Intelligent? No, instead it makes you stupid, or else you are foolish for name-calling your intelligent wife, stupid. Husband, before you blame your wife again, look into the mirror before you speak to me. Until you apologize, Don't talk to me."
---Eloy on 5/1/12


My dad did the samething to my mother....it is hard to live with this name calling and it seems like the negative just sticks in your head when you want to move forward..feel like I am going crazy at times and my worth is draining...help!
---Mrs._Cathy_Wendorf on 5/1/12


Let's face it folks, if we are Christians our marriages need to be and are supposed to be with a Christian mate. God's word says it and we had all better believe it. I would know! I am remarried to a Christian and we pray together every morning and every night on our knees before God. We NEVER fail to ask God to bless our marriage, to walk in his Word, and keep the outside world from entering into our home. And, yes, before anyone criticizes me for being divorced, I have asked God to forgive my part in our divorce. I have rededicated my live to Christ and my goal as well as my mate's is to serve Christ every day of our lives and love each other as Christ loves us. Remember!..Just because we are Christian does NOT mean we will never sin.
---kandee on 5/11/09




Accept Jesus as Lord of your life. Then stand on this principle. You are loved by God. You are a princess and shall be loved for all eternity.sink into Gods unfailing love and He will bring the words to say. Study the bible and grow in Gods love. Walk in the Spirit and be filled love,peace and joy. U dont have to do it alone anymore.
---kenneth on 9/19/07


Tell him you are not that stupid that you will keep taking his insults.
And since his life has been so downhill since he married you. Why don't you give him a push out of the door. And his life can start going uphill. God did not create you to be abused and treated like a second rate citizen.
---Robyn on 9/18/07


Tell him that you are the daughter of the Infinite King of the Universe, and are a person of infinite worth since the King has given His life for you. Tell him that if he were a REAL MAN, he would stop blaming you for HIS failures in life. Ask him if you had a gun to his head when he said "I do." Tell him that if he were to treat you as a queen, you would treat him as a king. If Jesus is at the center of your marriage, you will both fall in love!
---jerry6593 on 9/15/07


Darlene and Trish give you some very good advice here. He is using intimidation. The people who mainly use this tactic are insecure themselves and they need to make the other person feel inferior so that they can feel superior. Your life with him will only get worse if you don't deal with it now. You don't say how long you have been married. The longer that this has gone on the harder it will probably be to change things but make a start now.
---RitaH on 9/15/07


I have never found a verse in the Bible that says a Christian, or anybody for that matter is required to be a door mat.
---denna7667 on 9/14/07




I would bluntly tell him that there's the door and don't let it hit your butt on the way out. You shouldn't put up with it. I believe if a person stays with their spouse that does abuse them in anyway is a fool for staying. If you believe the abusive words he tells you, you will be unhappy. Stand your ground, tell him exactly how you feel.
---Rebecca_D on 8/29/07


Intimidation is a method that some people use to gain control over another person. If you allow this to happen, it will continue. You need to stand up to him and tell him that he is out of line. Do not resort to crying while standing up to him as this is exactly what he wants to happen. It would be better for your safety if this confrontation took place in front of other people who are witnessing his abuse towards you. I will pray for you.
---Susie on 8/28/07


Tell him in no uncertain terms you will not stand for this type abuse from him any longer. Show some backbone. Stand by your decision. Let him know you are a person with feelings and deserves to be respected. Let him know what he says to you is hateful and hurtful. If he is not satisfied with the marriage some changes are going to have to take place. Now! And mean it!
---Robyn on 8/28/07


Speak up, quitely ask "What's wrong with you that you must run me down and use me as an excuse for how you caused yourself to go downhill ?". Then tell him,as Trish said,you aren't stupid but he must think very low of himself to have to call you names to make himself feel better. Tell him you won't tolerate being treated badly. Say I still love you and will pray you can find a better opinion of yourself with more confidence in your ability. It is better to share feelings than suffer in silence.
---Darlene_1 on 8/28/07


Pray and lovingly tell him that you are not stupid. Don't believe that lie, as it can get to you.
---Trish9863 on 8/28/07


There is a marriage section on CN. There are several blogs about this same issue there.
Is this your first marriage? Why did you marry this man? Are you equally yoked?
Do you marry a short time ago and are you making him miserable?
---Robin on 8/28/07


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