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Boyfriend Become Violent

Me and my boyfriend of seven months have fights and alot of times it becomes violent. I know he really loves me and alot of times he cries to me because he feels helpless to his problem. He says he doesn't want to loose me and I feel the same way towards him. Is it possible to fix.

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 ---Michelle on 9/4/07
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Statistically (and you might be one), domestic violence only gets worse. Men who hurt women say that it will never happen again but it does happen again and the beatings become more brutal often times causing permanent disability or even death. There are also women who beat men and the dynamic is much the same. You really need to wrap your mind around the notion that you...must...leave. You need to cut all contact with this man.
---jody on 7/12/11


this blogg..unfortunately Timeless! Becuz violence 'n homes,etc. Rampant! I forget Say If you afraid to call police...many people are.. Be Smart n Leave! Becuz guess what!?? 0ne Day One of your Neighbors! Will call! And 'n most states "your Boyfriend" he goin' to jail! Whether,you press charges or Not! So,my dear Look out & Leave if the Police see Bruises & Marks of beating on you! They are arthorized to Take him or both of YOU to JAIL!!!if I were your neighbor I would call if I know hey! It goin' to keep you from killed! Oh! And Guess what ? ? there are Women who kill THEIR boyfriends or violent husbands! So get out!!! Give No Place to the Devil! James. Holy bible! Serious.... ELENA! Lift up jesus! Instead!
---ELENA on 7/11/11


my dear Lady! Get out of this "Relationship".. Had a mother took abuse. Myself became A Victim! & n SHORT... The day ARRIVED! Got AWAY! finally after YRS. Abuse I have to BE Honest....... SAD & very HORRIBLE life! Yes! ..... GOD good! n I would hope you will be SMARTER! I later Got Involved helped others! Get out! GOD DID ANSWER MY PRAYER! He got ME out becuz VIOLENCE is dangerous! It's not pretty! Not sexy! Get REAL with yourself! You are in DENIAL! CRY OUT TO GOD! GET AWAY FROM THIS MAN! BEFORE IT TOO LATE! my Heart BELONGS TO JESUS! JESUS IS MY LORD.
---ELENA on 7/11/11


Leave this man alone---now! He needs help that you cannot give him. You stay around and you may become a victim. A dead one on top of that. If that is what you want, then, stay with him. God bless
---Robyn on 7/11/11


run as fast as you can... people like this will not change unless he humble himself to God.
if you marry this guy-your marriage is destined for doomed
---mj on 7/11/11




Michelle::"You reap what you sow is very true."Violence is a lack of control of anger, crying is a cycle, all points of a malignant Bad Habit. You are young inexperienced do not be fooled by what you think is love .If he cannot control himself now, how can he steer his ship of marriage. Abandon ship is MHA, before you go into deeper waters,as then you will have to jump ship for your own safety & sanity.
---Emcee on 11/26/07


Did you know that somewhere there is a man that will treat you like a queen? Because there is. Why waste time with someone who treats you bad?
---sue on 11/26/07


I have always maintained if you let a man hit you once he will do it again and again.
Therefore, kick him to the curb and fina man who will truly treat you with the love of Christ.
---Ed on 11/25/07


First, leave now! Second, it will only get worse as time goes on. (I'm basing this on 33 years of marriage counseling.) It may get fixed, but it will require professional counseling, by a certified Christian, counselor in this area of spousal abuse and time. Until you both get this counseling, seperate except for the counseling sessions, if the counselor suggest joint counseling. If either of you refuses this counseling, than move on.
---wivv on 9/19/07


First, leave now! Second, it will only get worse as time goes on. (I'm basing this on 33 years of marriage counseling.) It may get fixed, but it will require professional counseling, by a certified Christian, counselor in this area of spousal abuse and time. Until you both get this counseling, seperate except for the counseling sessions, if the counselor suggest joint counseling. If either of you refuses this counseling, than move on.
---wivv on 9/19/07




I know exactly how you feel.I was in an abusive relationship for 4 years and no matter how much I wanted my boyfriend to change(and even he wanted to supposedly change),it never got any better.If your boyfriend really does not want to lose you than he will get the help that he needs.Remember,that a man who truly respects and loves you will not be abusive to you in any way(and vice versa).Instead of feeling like a victim to his problem, he needs to face them like a man-for both his and your sake.
---Melia on 9/9/07


Typical of an abuser are his words of sorrow after the abuse. You're stuck in an addictive type situation, known as "idolatry" in Christian terms. You both need to get help separately. A Christian 12 Step codependency group for you would help. Take care of "youself", make Christ the center of your life. Jesus gives you Life, Love & Freedom. Your boyfriend is Spiritual death and could very well lead to your physical death.
---Ginette_Beauchamp on 9/7/07


It is funny, because you ask this without real intention on leaving. You know you should. Search yourself, you know I am right. I have been there, done that. Please, don't play around with this. Find that longing you have for him, and crucify it. It isn't just about you-there will be kids abused too. Stop assuming the best-use your wisdom. He needs to fix this without you around. Or you may end up dead like my aunt did. Or worse, your kids might.
---Crystal on 9/6/07


You MUST end this relationship! If a man TRULY loves you, he will NOT abuse you!! I was once married to a man who claimed to be a Christian, and he verbally abused me on a daily basis, cursed at me, called me names, said I was ugly, said I was fat, told me what to wear, and said "my wife must be hot and sexy all the time." He also hit me once. DO NOT take abuse from a man! End this before it's too late.
---MrsW on 9/5/07


Your boyfriend needs psychological help before he can be any good to anyone. He is damaged goods and will make you and your future children into damaged goods as well.

Like an alcoholic or drug addict, he will only seek help once he has hit bottom and no one will have him. Dump him fast and never look back. Be kind enough to explain why you are leaving him (a nice letter in the mail would suffice).
---lorra8574 on 9/4/07


The good news is that you are not married to him. Please, get out of this relationship before something really bad happens, if you know what I mean. No one should be in a relationship where there is physical violence. That is not love, that is from the devil. Someone that commits violence against you will promise you that they will never do it again. That is such a lie. Do not believe it. Get out while you can, and remember that God loves you so much that He gave His only Begotten Son for you.
---Cynthia on 9/4/07


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Men who love you do not hit or beat you. If they do it one time, it will happen again and each beating will get worse. They will tell you that they love you and even cry to keep you with them but they are not going to stop hurting you. You need to reread this and believe it because it is true. Call a battered womens hotline and they will repeat what I just wrote. Leave now before you get brain damage or killed.
---jody_martin on 9/4/07


Men who love you do not hit or beat you. If they do it one time, it will happen again and each beating will get worse. They will tell you that they love you and even cry to keep you with them but they are not going to stop hurting you. You need to reread this and believe it because it is true. Call a battered womens hotline and they will repeat what I just wrote. Leave now before you get brain damage or killed.
---jody_martin on 9/4/07


You are a victim of violence and need to get out of that relationship now. He is not going to get better. He is not going to change. You must get out while you are still alive and do not, under any and all circumstance, do not, do not, do not marry this man. Run as fast as you can. Change your phone number, and do not return his calls. I am dead serious about this. He is a batterer and they rarely change, and only after legally being forced to after an arrest.
---Trish9863 on 9/4/07


I truly don't understand how he loves you and then physically hurts you. I am very concerned about you finding it necessary to remain in this relationship.
---Annie on 9/4/07


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