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How Do You Forgive Someone

How do you react when you say you have forgiven someone? Do you never, ever think of the hurt again? If someone else mentions it do you say "That is not up for discussion, it's over." Do you avoid the person so they cannot hurt you again - or something entirely different from any of these?

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 ---RitaH on 9/15/07
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Rita - give it a little time, personally - I'd think as a Christian it is on me to forgive. Not knowing the situation - sometimes peace is the best thing within the family but the Christian needs to forgive. We don't forgive to be nice to the other person we forgive to release ourselves.
Max lucado does some nice teaching in this area.

unforgiveness is the only poison we drink thinking it will hurt the other person.
---Andrea on 9/16/07

I forgave my brother even though he isn't a Christian, but I am and I still go to family gatherings knowing that he could goat me at anytime for an argument I still forgive him reguardless and I love him no matter what. If u love the person wether they are Christians or not then it shouldn't bother u on what they say or do.
---ANN on 9/16/07

If he's not ready to have a creative discussion...and/or he knows you or others are not able to handle talking about what is hard and painful and're not ready to have the discussion, and I don't push people who are not ready to talk with me about a problem. If they're not satisfied to trust me, I respect that and pray for God to evaluate me and make me so **He*** knows I can be trusted.
---Bill_bila5659 on 9/16/07

My brother growled and snarled at me because I did not want to spend my inheritance on cable. He's the trustee, I have cable. I told people how he hatefully violated my religious choice, then went along with him in order to keep our relating going. I value love relating more than the money he controls. I discuss this, so people can see how I am learning to resolve things by Christian principles, hopefully as an encouraging example.
---Bill_bila5659 on 9/16/07

My question was in regard to discord within a family. Because of a clash between 2 members it is now agreed that the 2 are never at family gatherings at the same time. One goes to some, the other to others. It prevents flares of temper. One is a Christian, the other not. When the subject is raised occasionally, by others, he (the Christian) says "it is not up for discussion, it's over" but agrees to keep his distance for fear of being the one blamed if trouble brews again.
---RitaH on 9/16/07

How God is forgiving, with us...with the forgiving, being so loving. But He discusses my wrongs with me, so I can be wiser and do better, and then make an example of myself to help others, about how I needed to see I was wrong and how You are changing me to what is good, instead. And you shouldn't automatically trust someone whom you forgive, but TEST if the person should be trusted, prayerfully see how God has chosen for the person to be trusted.
---Bill_bila5659 on 9/16/07

yes - whisper it is only by the grace of God

bc to whom much is forgiven - we can through Him forgive much
---andre5846 on 9/15/07

I don't react. Some people are forgiven and some people are held accountable: some sins are forgiven and some sins, like the spirit of desecration, will not be forgiven.
---Eloy on 9/16/07

Pray for the person you need to forgive, and ask God to help you forgive them. You will think of the hurt again, but you pray and give it to the Lord over and over again. Do not discuss it with other people and make sure that you communicate that it is not up for discussion.

Sometimes it is necessary to avoid contact with the other person, as in abusive marriages or abusive parents.

Each situation requires that the person pray and seek the Lord's guidance in forgiving the offender.
---Trish9863 on 9/15/07

I lay the offense aside, leave it alone and never bring it up again. I never forget it, one who does not learn from the mental and/or emotion hurts of the past are doomed to repeat them, However I leave the past behind me to focus on the things which are before me. As far as the offender is concerned I treat them as I would like to be treated had the situation been reversed. "To err is human, to forgive divine". The past can not be changed, I try not to allow it to affect to present.
---joseph on 9/15/07

Blessings to you RitaH, when I have been hurt, the only way that I can forgive is by the power of God. At times when the hurt springs up, I do not dwell on it. And I remember what the Lord tells us to do. In the book of 2 Corinthians, 10:3-6, we bring into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ. To answer the last question you asked, no I do not avoid the person. If I did then I could never be around my husband. I move on with the life that I know that God has prepared for me.
---Cynthia on 9/15/07

Well some of us have suffered EXTREME abuse in our lives. What do you say to the person who's husband dumped gasoline on his wife then lit her up with a match, or the dentist who took his drill and broke all of your teeth exposing each painful nerve so that each and every day you think of the lovely set of teeth you had and the horror that came from the dentist you trusted, amputation of the wrong leg, etc.. lets get real.....part one
---Whisper on 9/15/07

1) for quick hurts - the everyday type - I run them through the forgiveness mill and get over it - Its not optional
2) for the ones (husband/family) that really hurt I address but with the knowledge that I'm going to for give them eventually
3) rapists/murderers/abusers - I pray for their salvation and choose to love even when the forgiveness seems empty

I can't go by feelings - I choose and let my feelings catch up with my descisions - sounds easier then it is
---andre5846 on 9/15/07

part 2 There are horrific, and terrorizing experiences that have staggered our imaginations, just listen to the news, ITS NOT UP FOR DISCUSSION DOESN'T CUT IT. It is agonizing, when I think of these people, I shutter, it is so.....not easy to forgive, and I personaly CAN NEVER do it on my own it is ONLY BY THE GRACE, AND MERCY of God, that I must forgive them as our Christ gave Himself on a CRUEL cross for us. Just say FATHER FORGIVE THEM THEY KNOW NOT WHAT THEY DO. So your prayers will then be answered.
---Whisper on 9/15/07

Mark 11:25 "Whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone, so that your Father who is in heaven will also forgive you your transgressions. By the power of Holy Spirit who lives within you. There are many things that are impossible doing by yourself. Mark 10:27 And Jesus looking upon them saith, With men it is impossible, but not with God: for with God all things are possible.
---denna7667 on 9/15/07

One must first act with purpose and intent. This means to actively verbally talk to your own spirit. I like to remind myself, through my spirit, that the Lord Jesus Christ has forgiven me of all my sins, and certainly my sins were are much more against God than any that man can do against me.
---Mima on 9/15/07

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