I believe in reconciliation, and therefore encourage all parties to get together for that to take place. Lay down all forms of judgement from all parties, confess your sins, and get right with the Lord. And the world will know us by our love. This will allow the pastor to come to terms with his breach and he can be delivered from the guilt he must feel and you can be set from free from what you're struggling with. There is only one entity that would not want this to happen.
---Maureen_Brown on 11/12/07|
Why did you tell him? Take it to the Lord in Prayer next time. And there must be more to this story, and don't do what you are ashamed of my friend, regardless of if or if you don't tell. Forgive your Pastor and talk to him about it. Forgiveness is more important then telling on someone. Rise above his mistake and stregthen your character a thousand times.
---Doug on 10/22/07|
My heart goes out to you. Yes, you have to forgive, because if you don't, bitterness will take root and hurt you worse in the long run. I have had a pastor blatantly lie to my face just recently, and that trust is broken. Find trustworthy spiritual advisors, not in name only, but in deed, in action. I wish you the best. It is sad what Christians do to one another, but remember that God is in control, and He can make something good out o the worst situation. All my love to you both.
---aggie on 10/20/07|
I don't know how old you are?
If you are an adult, I would take 2 or 3 witness (preferably deacons) and go and confront him about it (1Tim 5:19). In the church I attend, if he won't hear you, then I would bring it up in church conference. In the church I attend, they might even vote him out as pastor?
The other alternative is to simple leave.
---trey on 10/20/07|
Did you confront your pastor about this? If so, what was his response? If not, perhaps you should do so (at least to get some closure, if nothing else).
---StrongAxe on 10/20/07|
"Currently, I make it know that discussions of harm to self of others will not be kept confidential."
Because it is a law that this MUST be done.
---Susie on 10/20/07|
Randy, I have been going through just about the exact same thing within the last month. The most important thing you can do for Yourself is to forgive him. Don't backbite and do the same thing and gossip about him. Pray, Pray, Pray. I was in such a low, dark place for a couple of days, but that precious Holy Spirit brought me out of despair! He will do it for you too. If you wanna talk more about it, please don't hesitate to email me-angea9843. God bless you brother!
---Angela on 10/19/07|
Breach of Confidentiality by Clergy is a is a reason for expulsion from Ministry. It is usually only tolerated when the Confidentially involves a Civil Criminal offence Or when there is statutory requirement for reporting a class of information to a civil agency.
If you are associated with a convectional church denomination notify the next echelon of the breach of Confidentiality So it can be investigated and a ecclesiastical trial can be held if warranted. Otherwise seek civil litigation.
---Phil_the_Elder on 10/19/07|
The best think a peson can do is go to the Lord and talk to him .He sure won't tell anyone what you tell him.Thats what my pastor said.
---Betty on 10/19/07|
As a minister for only seven years and specifically working with youth/prison/mental illness ministry. I've been stuck in many bad places. Currently, I make it know that discussions of harm to self of others will not be kept confidential. Other things I will encourage (sometimes insist) that people to confess on their own. If you are certain this was confidential I would bring the Pastor before the Elders.
---Gilbert on 10/19/07|
Don't imitate him by doing the same thing in the same situation. He behaved immaturely in matters of the social aspect of the gospel.
As for sharing the information, there is nothing you can do about that now. What will leaving accomplish except to let everybody know that you are not only ashamed but angry too. Forgive him as God, for Christ's sake, has forgiven you. Don't leave hastily. They that walk by faith shall not make haste.
---Linda on 10/19/07|
yes, this happened in my church to a girl too. She was most upset in the pastor who she trusted entirely and was the most hurt, and felt betrayed. Never returning back again. You must forgive him and his imperfection, but I for one would never sit in the congregation of a SHEPHERD who I could no longer trust. I would forgive him, but grieve every sunday, knowing me.
---Whisper on 10/19/07|