How To Love The Unlovable
How do you LOVE the UNLOVABLE? Loud, rude, boisterous, arrogant, obnoxious, selfish, noncaring, un-feeling, and verbaly abusive people? That continue to take advantage of your kindness? SCRIPTURES?
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---Whisper on 11/1/07
Helpful Blog Vote (9)
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Donna66,
That is very good how those verses from Ecclesiastes moved you! You just brought to my remembrance this Scripture, Matthew 13:52: "Then said he unto them, Therefore every scribe which is instructed unto the kingdom of heaven is like unto a man that is an householder, which bringeth forth out of his treasure things new and old." |
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---Nana on 7/23/09 |
Nana - what a great scripture in Ecclesiastics! "... thine own heart knoweth that thou thyself likewise hast cursed others." It's as Jesus suggested when He talked about removing a speck from someone's eye tho you have a plank in yours.
Verbally abusive people are angry (maybe with good reason). It might have nothing to do with YOU, even if you are the target. Others who are obnoxious or arrogant may be just trying to be important (because they fear they are not). Messiness and indifference may signal depression/hopelessness. Remember,others have the same needs you do. If the behavior is extreme, do NOT to take it PERSONALLY and do respond with objectivity and calm. "A soft answer turneth away wrath" says Proverbs. |
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---Donna66 on 7/21/09 |
unloveable
i will say are people who only seem to think about themselves and comfort only
try not to be too upset
do not talk when you are upset
show kindness, decide in your heart you will be kind no matter what
however take heed to yourself
do not put yourself in a position where you are at his/her mercy
give, give , give but bear in mind that you will hardly receive in return.... that makes it easier to bear.... it doesn't hurt so much if you are not expecting kindness, respect etc. in respect |
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---pat on 7/21/09 |
The bible talks about separating yourself from people like this if you can, if you cannot, do not provoke them to rage by engageing them in arguments and finally pray for them and ask God how he would have you deal with them. Usually they don't know how to handle a quiet meek spirit. I have practiced this for many years and it works. |
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---Claudia on 6/23/09 |
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These responses sound ideal, and I am in agreement with all scriptures. Practical application of the word to a specific need is what will truly help. Someone who is loud and messy isnt hard to forgive they arent purposely intending to harm you, they just have some issues. But somehow there are a growing number of individuals with a sociopathic spirit that I have been dealing with as well as several other individuals that I know. They are intentionally abusive, they purpose to destroy individuals they cant control,they lie profusely and believe their own lies they are insane but never appear to be. How do you love and forgive without keeping yourself in harms way? |
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---Nu on 6/22/09 |
When I'm in this boat, I try to remember that God loves this person just as much as He loves me or anyone else. Therefore, I have no right to harbor negative feelings. I remind myself that this person cannot possibly have a close personal relationship with Jesus. I pray for his/her heart to soften and accept Him as Savior. When I feel myself slip, I just keep praying. |
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---Alice on 5/17/09 |
God is a God of Holy Love. The Bible says, "I love those who loves me". People when they die and end up in hell are going to wonder about this God who loved everyone. Why am I in this place, because God loved everyone.. There is not one scripture that says, God loves the wicked man. In answering your question. Holy love for you fellow man must come from God or it is a shallow type love. |
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---catherine on 2/4/09 |
know that God loves all of us. |
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---jan on 2/2/09 |
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Do an online bible search for "one another" and "each other" to find your answer. And best of all, be patient. For Jesus endured hardship and abuse all the way to the cross. |
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---Steveng on 1/7/09 |
as Christians, other people are no longer the problem factor. but we ourselves. we can't change them, but rather we must submit ourselves to God to be changed.
~ from the Amplified Bible confess outloud 1 Corinth. 13:4-8. scripturally correct to do because of Romans 5:5. there are many other equally usable verses on walking in love toward others.
~ as a sower use God's word to sow it into your own heart. do so on a regular daily confession basis. instead of talking about how your neighbors are hard to love.
~ depending on your perseverance your crop of love for others will begin to come up that you and others benefit from the harvest. |
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---opalgal on 1/7/09 |
Best thing is to move on up to a deluxe apartment in the sky. Upscale people maybe are easy to love? |
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---Nana on 12/22/08 |
My new neighbors are unlovable. They are noisy and messy. There are 10 people living in a 2-bedroom condo. The many children are not supervised and run wild. Yesterday, I saw the children trying to help their grandmother who was coming home from an operation. She could not stand straight. I went into my closet and found my like-new 4-wheel walker and ran outside my condo with it. I told the grandmother she could use it until she was better. No one speaks English but I think they understood I was trying to send a message of peace.
eda6596 |
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---Eda on 12/19/08 |
"Whisper ... You are talking about US about YOU.
Does God not love us?"
---alan_of_UK on 11/1/07
Just about what I was going to say-That we'll begin to love them as soon as we convince ourselves that many a time we have been the unlovable ourselves.
Ecclesiastes,
7:21: Also take no heed unto all words that are spoken, lest thou hear thy servant curse thee:
22: For oftentimes also thine own heart knoweth that thou thyself likewise hast cursed others. |
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---Nana on 12/6/08 |
How about experience. You can read scriptures forever practice is what you need. It's true. Only God and Him directly can help you with this. God has to work with you, until you get it right. Caution however is needed. God will very often lead you into some confrontations. Too many Christians going around smiling all day long trying to look and act like Jesus and failing miserably. while the devil and his people take over everything. Not pleasing to God at all. |
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---catherine on 12/1/08 |
"Put not your pearls in front of swine. But instead go out to those in the highways and byways and compell them to come join you in the marriage feast of the Lamb: redeem the time, and go to those whom will hear the gospel and become blessed, and not to those whom will not hear." |
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---Eloy on 11/30/08 |
If one does not consent to the wholesome words of God, he is proud, knows nothing, but is OBCESSED with foolish disputes and arguments over words, from which come envy, strife, reviling, evil suspicions, useless wranglings of men of corrupt minds and destitute of the truth, who suppose that godliness is a means of gain...from such withdraw yourself. (I Tim 6:3-5)
Normally we strive diligently to follow the teachings of I Cor. 13:4-8 which tells us that love is patient, kind, long suffering, not rude etc. But there comes a point when we realize that certain people 90-100% of the time want to merely argue...then we need to follow the I Tim 6:3-5 teachings above, and more-less withdraw ourselves from such people. |
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---Anne on 11/30/08 |
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By the power of the Holy Spirit that flows through you, let God love them through you. If their that bad, why not just avoid them? and Pray for them? |
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---Donna on 11/30/08 |
I am not going to give you scriptures. Only experience. If you realize how bad we all are but Jesus by His wonderful grace saved us, some of us, you will have more compassion for the lost man.. A strong love walk takes alot of time. Be patient with God and with yourself. |
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---catherine on 11/16/07 |
Ask God for help to love this person. Also, never return evil for evil but always return good for evil.Rom 12:17. |
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---john on 11/3/07 |
Whisper, I know some children that fit that description and I say to myself, "now I know why some animals eat their young"! |
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---1st_cliff on 11/3/07 |
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Whisper,
Here are scriptures:
Mt 5:44 But I say unto you, LOVE your enemies, BLESS them that curse you, DO good to them that hate you, and PRAY for them which despitefully use you, and persecute you,
Lu 6:35 But love ye your enemies, and do good, and LEND, hoping for nothing again, and your reward shall be great, and ye shall be the children of the Highest: for he is kind unto the unthankful and to the evil.
That's our instructions, but they are difficult.
Bless you, |
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---trey on 11/3/07 |
jesus said forgive your brother 70 times 7 times a day.God says love they neighbor as yourself,love one another as I have loved you.do you know God loves and forgives and gives salvation to every person whos pesonality is what you have described ,and worse? |
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---tom2 on 11/3/07 |
Sue, how I agree with your statement "The one's that are the hardest to love need love the most." but it is sooooo difficult and something that I, personally, need to pray about and ask God to help me with. |
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---RitaH on 11/3/07 |
Whisper: I've always listened to my wise mother. She always said this:
The one's that are the hardest to love need love the most.
I've found it to be true. |
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---sue on 11/2/07 |
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Humble ourselves. God resists the proud.
We are also told to submit ourselves unto God. God resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble. Submit yourselves, therefore, to God. Resist the devil and he will flee from you." (James 4:6-7) |
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---Michelle on 11/2/07 |
Jody - good response. I look at them as being in pain. I can get nasty if I'm in pain for awhile. Spiritual and emotional pain can be just as bad. |
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---Andrea on 11/2/07 |
Whisper,Oddly, I learned as a therapist, to love unlovable people and the way it happens is that I see them as infants and what they might have been like. Then I see them as a mothers baby and think of the mother holding them and loving them and sometimes I think of them not being loved by their mothers or anyone for that matter.I remember that they are God's creation. But that is basically how it starts. I just start thinking of them as a baby. It happens very naturally for me.Sry,no scripts.:( |
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---jody on 11/1/07 |
Another great question Whisper. You just about described someone that I live with, so as far as avoiding them, well that is kind of hard to do. You never try to change the person, but submit them to the Lord for He is our Creator and allow God to deal with that person. Also I agree that we should let the Lord love that person through us.Sometimes it is hard, and I will admit someone that is hard to love will try you at times. God Bless Whisper! |
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---Cynthia on 11/1/07 |
HANG AROUND HERE LONG ENOUGH AND LEARN SOME PATIENCE....but really whisper ...hurting people hurt people. Thats it and when you begin to see them as sorrowful and lost (even christisns) it becomes easier. Notice I didn't say easy. Try but we are not all called to be ministers in every situation so go only if you can maintain your witness.
It seems the Lord is laying this on your heart - let Him train you....
be blessed - you'll be great |
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---Andrea on 11/1/07 |
Whisper, Matt.5.43-48, where Jesus tells us to love our enemies. If God gives grace to love them, I suppose we can love anyone, no matter how obnoxious they are. |
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---John1944 on 11/1/07 |
It is hard to do. In the verse Lk 6:31 where it says treat others as you would treat them. That doesn't mean if they are mean to you, you can be mean to them. Read all of Luke 6:31-37. In Matthew 5:41-48. It is hard to love your enemies. But the bible doesn't say we had to like them, we just have to love them. There are some people that I love and I wouldn't want anything bad happen to them, but I just don't like them. |
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---Rebecca_D on 11/1/07 |
Whisper
1 John 4:6-8 We are of God: he that knoweth God heareth us, he that is not of God heareth not us. Hereby know we the spirit of truth, and the spirit of error. Beloved, let us love one another: for love is of God, and every one that loveth is born of God, and knoweth God. He that loveth not knoweth not God, for God is love. So if YOU know God, dont worry His love will flow through you? |
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---Shawn.M.T on 11/1/07 |
Whisper ... You are talking about US about YOU.
Does God not love us? |
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---alan_of_UK on 11/1/07 |
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