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Jealous Of Women In Choir

My husband is a worship leader, and there are other women on the worship team, but not me because I don't sing that well or play an instrument. I struggle with being jealous of the other women singing with my husband. I just wanted to see if anyone else has the same struggle.

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 ---Joanna on 11/15/07
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Hi Joanna. Music ministry carries so much jealousy. But, the word of God is above the music. If you and your husband are not in agreement then his first ministry is to his family and until his family is in agreement, then he can minister outside of th family.
---Mary on 12/11/07

Almost anyone can learn to play the tambourine or the recorder.

Just because you can't sing, doesn't mean you can't contribute. (Even if it's just doing the Xeroxing or ironing the choir robes.)

And if you want to play the piano or organ (assuming there are no physical reasons you can't), take lessons. The sooner you start, the sooner you'll be able to play!
---Nancy on 11/18/07

Joanna, I appreciate your honesty about this struggle. I know first hand how devastating jealousy can be. In the early days of my marraige I battled jealousy. It was so destructive to myself and others. God graciously delivered me from this in a moments time, it was like having a heavy weight lifted from me. Seek the Lord, He is able
---Christina on 11/19/07

You need to nip your jealously in the bud. If you don't it will cause confusion and stir up strife in the church. Have you ever thought of asking God what your talent is? God has given everyone a talent to glorify him. I am called to sing, that is my talent. Ask God what your talent is, and when you find out focas on that and leave the other woman alone.
---Rebecca_D on 11/17/07

You and your husband are having serious issues in your marriage. Otherwise perfect love casts out fear, jealous and other ugly emotions. You are insecure for a reason. Something you or he is not doing. Are both of you born again? Where is the trust? You need to voice your opinions to your husband and try to find out where these jealous feelings are coming from.
---Robyn on 11/16/07

Sister Joanna,

You can learn to sing better. Practice. Sing at home. Sing in the car. Go to practice with your husband. When I was in my early 20's there were several who made fun of my singing, but I kept on singing. We are told to sing in the scriptures (Eph. 5:19, Col 3:16). I'm now 40, and lead songs in church.

I am a firm believer in protecting one's marriage. He is your husband. Protect what's yours.
---trey on 11/16/07

Why do you sing? Is it for your own personal glory, or for the glory of God?

If it is for the glory of God, then you should be truly happy even if someone else can sing better than you can - because God is glorified more than you can do.

If it is for your own glory, then you might feel jealous - but in this case, you might want to re-examine your own motives.
---StrongAxe on 11/16/07

You remind me of Lucy Ricaro, on I love Lucy. Dont worry, Ethyl would say just throw on a gown grab some colorful flags and get up there and dance!
---Whisper on 11/16/07

Is there any reason why you can't attend rehearsals occasionally?
---Jack on 11/16/07

This may read like I'm being curel, but I'm not. You are spending too much time focusing on what you can't do rather than what you can do. If it wasn't this case of singing with ladies in the worship team, it would be something else. It can be one of the signs of feeling inferior. So you need to ask yourself, "Are there any grounds for my jealous feeling, or is it just me?" If you aren't careful, Satan can use this both to destroy you and your marriage.
---wivv on 11/15/07

Great response RitaH.
---kady on 11/15/07

Hi Joanna! Would you be jealous if your husband were not the director? In other words, is your issue with your husband or the choir ladies? Blessings!
---John1944 on 11/15/07

What is it you are jealous about, the fact that they can sing and you cannot or the fact that they are with your husband. If it is the former try to remember that God gives us all different talents and He's almost certainly given you something that they do not have. If it is the latter you should chat with your husband to allay any fears you have about loyalty, so that he can put your mind at rest.
---RitaH on 11/15/07

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