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Biblical Advice For Abuse

What is biblical to do when a wife is being emotionally, physically, and financially abused by her husband?

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 ---francine on 12/20/07
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Jesus knew when it was His time to die. but before that He "escaped" "Therefore they sought take him: but he escaped out of their hand" (Joh 10:39)
---Momof_10 on 3/4/12


Abuse is really a form of sin, br>br>
What the bible says we should do about sin in the life of a brother/sister is confront it, right up to and including church discipline. A woman should not wrongly cover this sin. (If the guy is a sociopathic stalker type confrontation is done only after she is out of harms way as resistance can trigger assault in this case). br>
Martha Peace's book The Excellent Wife has a whole chapter on resources for the wife's protection. Yes, we are called to love enemies, do good to those who treat us badly and not retaliate. The goal of confrontation is redemptive, not revengful. we should never collude with evil in a wrong understadning of grace or submission.
---patricia on 12/13/11


Rebekah, Would Jesus say to this dear person what you have said? I hope you don't say yes. I think you should leave this person alone.She is going through enough.Heartlessness is not a fruit of the spirit.
---Kella3336 on 12/26/07


All of those who think abuse directed towards your mate is OK scripturally must not understand the sin of fornication.
Some bully who beats his wife is committing fornication against her body.
These same BIG BULLY guys never pick on someone who can beat back.
Pharisee I have heard your and John's advice before. I would take it in this order.
Pharisee first.
Donald Duck second.
The tooth Fairy next.
And John last if no other cartoon characters showed up.
---Elder on 12/24/07


This is why, "mike", that this person needs the help of medical professionals. An internet community of Christian bloggers may be a good place to bounce all of your troubles off of, but we can't fix a broken mind.
After a few years of taking advantage of others, there comes a point when you need to get help.
---Rebekah on 12/24/07




If this person wants our permission to leave whatever kind of a relationship that it is, that's not our responsibility either.
An internet community is not able to put humpty dumpty back together again. We cannot, in 85 words or less, repair your life or give you an endless stream of mental health support.
---Rebekah on 12/24/07


Dating questions are one thing, but when it's severe emotional trauma, this is not the place for airing out all of your laundry for the other bloggers to fix. That's more than what anyone here should try and remedy.
People make decisions impulsively while under emotional stress - you need to find a doctor, a policeman, a shelter or all three.
---Rebekah on 12/24/07


In an abusive relationship, the abuser uses shame, blame, fear, & guilt, that is why the person being abused develop thoughts & feelings of shame, blame, fear & guilt. then christianity adds more weight, more bondage that the reason for fear, guilt, shame & blame is bec. of sin. that is why christianity & christian are unreasonable!
---mike on 12/24/07


you people give 'biblical advices' but you are not the one being abused, so you do not understand the long-term emtional, physical, mental effects on a person if he/she stays in a abusive relationship. just 'expert in the verses' but I am pretty sure you will not practice what you preach once you are the one in the abusive relationship.
---mike on 12/24/07


Sorry if my reply wasn't in agreement by some but the question is "What is Biblical?" not "what would you do?" or "have you ever been beaten?" My answer stands that there is no Biblical advice for separation or divorce due to these circumstances. There is plenty of Biblical advice to love, forgive, turn the other cheek, pray, seek advice, help the other person, etc. But none to leave or get a lawyer or a divorce. She asked for Biblical advice not just our opinions.
---john on 12/24/07




Move on with your life. Get help, get stronger and get out. If he wants to reconcile, wait till he shows signs of change and agrees to marriage counseling. If he divorces you....consider it a gift! Realize that to some men "submit" means they have the right to do whatever they want with a woman. This is not bibical.
---jane on 12/23/07


You don't injure, nelect,or abuse anything
that you love.......if you love it.Otherwise
your'll lose it.>God is on your side.
You are the stronger of the TWO OF YOU.EVENTHOUGH YOU SEEM WEAK TO OTHERS.It is written that God have chosen the
foolish things of the world,to confound the wise.And god have chosen the WEAK THINGS OF THE WORLD,to confound the things which are mighty,and base things of the world,and things which are despised have GOD chosen.Hang tight,you are right.
---Jack_Fossett on 12/22/07


"Moderator - If you are stating you must leave to save the LIFE of the children and yourself, then yes the marriage should end. Only you know if the statement is really true."
---lovable_linda on 12/21/07


John, one simple question: would you advise your daughter or sister, if they were being abused, to turn the other cheek and be more submissive? If you would, then you need some help more than any abused woman.
---Mary on 12/21/07


It says in the Bible that a husband is to honor/love his wife and treat her like Christ treats the church. Being emotionally, physically and financially abused is NOT anywhere in our Bible.
---sue on 12/21/07


John: Pharisee's advice is Biblical. 1 Corinthians discusses separation with the intention of reconciliation as an option for some believers marriagves. Try reading it, I believe it is chapter 7.
---Trish9863 on 12/20/07


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John have you ever been beat up by someone who's strength is twice as yours? I wonder how your story might change if you found yourself in a jail cell with a mountain of a man who made you his own.

Biblical advice or not the Christian life is one of grace, one where God is in control. He can handle such a thing in the name of mercy.
How would you feel if she took your advice and was beaten to death?

Ministry is tougher when you have to look people in the eye as her pastor.
---Pharisee on 12/20/07


Get ready in prayer and love before dealing with him or her. If they're not Christians, they're outside church authority. It may be her choice if and how you get involved. If he is claiming to be in the church, he can expect to be dealt with by men of authority in Christ and held accountable > "Do you not judge those who are inside? But those who are outside God judges." (in 1 Corinthians 5:12-13) 1 Cor. 6:1-11 to me means any Christian is handled by the church, not law.
---Bill_bila5659 on 12/20/07


My opinion is if either one is a Christian, you do your personal part that Jesus says to do, and if this is not successful, it goes to the pastor. If the leadership plays games, you bring them to task with their superiors. If this fails, you can bring any Christian involved to a real church pastor. God bless you, prayer for you
---Bill_bila5659 on 12/20/07


First, pray and prepare by being in God's peace with His vision for what to do > "And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to which also you were called in one body, and be thankful." (Colossians 3:15) If you are going to personally deal with her or him, you need to get ready in strength and wisdom of God's love, first > "And this I pray, that your love may abound still more and more in knowledge and all discernment." (Philippians 1:9)
---Bill_bila5659 on 12/20/07


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Pharisee. That's not Biblical advice.
---john on 12/20/07


I believe the line is drawn at physical abuse.
God does not want you to be a punching bag for someone who is not in their right mind.
Seek help from a shelter if you must, protect your children.
---lovable_linda on 12/20/07


First let us pray, Lord Jesus we come to you the name your son and under his righteousness. We come to make petition of you concerning ---francine and her husband. We are asking you to interfere in this marriage, to turn this situation around and bless us both parties. Thank you for the opportunity to pray. We believe were praying in your will. Therefore your answer will be affirmative. Thank you Jesus.
---Mima on 12/20/07


Move to a safe place.
Take the focus off of what he's done and ask yourself what would you have done differently if you could do it all again.
This may not fix anything between you, but at least you can grow from it and move on.
Honor God with a willingness to reconcile in a controlled circumstance i.e. marriage intervention be it pastoral or otherwise.

If God had intended you to be a punching bag it might say "everlast" on your forehead. I'm guessing that's not the case.
---Pharisee on 12/20/07


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A wife is to submit to her husband but that doesn't mean to beatings or even verbal abuse.The Bible says he is to love you as Christ loves his church and Christ died for the church.Your husband is in sin.
---shirley on 12/20/07


Biblically you won't find that you should leave and or press charges and get your own place. That's popular advice but not Biblical. Prayer, seeking Godly help, turning the other cheek, forgive, and work it out in love, are Biblical.
---john on 12/20/07


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