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I Struggle With My Marriage

I am a Christian who has struggled with sexual sin which eventually led to an affair and contracting STD's. My wife has forgiven me, but I constantly battle with whether or not to leave my marriage. I have hurt my family enough already. I live in constant fear and regret. Help!!

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 ---Charles on 12/31/07
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Your wife, the main victim, forgives you, and if you repented then God promised he would forgive you, so the only one in unforgiveness is yourself. Why can't you forgive yourself, and give yourself the chance that you would hopefully give to others. Maybe forgiving oneself is the hardest of all.
---frances008 on 3/2/08


Mike, that was serious in a funny kind of way.
---Bob on 3/2/08


When discussing what the Bible says about divorce, it is important to keep in mind the words of Malachi 2:16, I hate divorce says the Lord God. Whatever grounds the Bible possibly gives for divorce, that does not mean God desires a divorce to occur in those instances. Rather than asking is ______ a grounds for divorce, often the question should be is _______ grounds for forgiveness, restoration, and/or counseling?
---Court7646 on 2/29/08


Shaun In God's name ... I did not see, so cannot really discuss. I think Christians of all denminations should pull together, although maintaining their own traditions, unless these are heretical (an we should acknoledge that some are too quick to say others are heretics)
---alan_of_UK on 1/6/08


Why do you want to leave your marriage? You promised to have and to hold from this day forward, yes? If it is because you want to cheat, stop. It's a choice not an option. Stop rationalizing your actions. Be a man and stop cheating or be a man and leave her before you cheat again. Simple.
---BlueAngel on 1/6/08




From the woman's perspective - we can forgive as long as we are secure that our mates are not going to hurt us again. Are you getting consistant counseling? Being accountable to someone not involved in the situation is necessary. Be thankful your wife loves you so much that she can look past and pray for God's blessings in the future.
---Joann on 1/5/08


It is sad that either partner stray fron there comittiment to each orther i have been divorced 3 times but cheating was not an option its like Adam and Eve you do not touch forbidden fruit in orther words you do not touch which is not yours a Friend in Christ
---lawre3763 on 1/5/08


Did you receive the answer you were looking for here? I think not. It appears to me you want a "way out" of your marriage. One that make you the "poor victim."
It is time to stand up, man, and quit whining. You committed the sin and now are reaping the "benefits." All should be warned, especially you Palmer.
Don't make your family any more miserable than they are. Seek God's help and become the husband that you should have been all along.
---Elder on 1/5/08


My heart goes out to you and I pray that the Lord will heal your body and your spirit. It is a blessing that your wife has forgiven you. I think that you should stay in your marriage, but it is very important that you seek the Lord and ask Him to remove all weaknesses and strongholds in you so that you may be the kind of husband that He speaks of in His Word. (Read Ephesians 5:25.)
---Tracy9587 on 1/5/08


#4. Stop making excuses and get on your knee's and beg God to change you. Plead with all you have for forgiveness, and He will change you. But you have to be truthful, because He can hear what you are going to say before you say it. God will make a new man out of you. You might have to pay big time for the consequences of your actions but God might have permitted you to get into this mess to bring you to your knee's. I pray for your salvation.
---Mark_V. on 1/5/08




You need deliverance and sanctification. And this can be achieved, if you will truly seek God, thru prayer and fasting. Fasting is designed to break stronholds, and that is what you are talking about. Your wife must be a saint, and you can be too, but, you need help... now. It would be easier if you were in a church that taught it, but, if not, it can be achieved on your own, between you and God. It will def. be worth the effort. You will always be proud of what you have achieved.
---Gayla on 1/4/08


Alan of UK
1) In Gods Name
2)Is Everything Written Down?

Were both supposes to be posted as Blogs not as a response to this blog.

But when they are Posted I would greatly enjoy discussing it with you!
---Shawn.M.T on 1/4/08


marriage is all about forgiving, and since you have seen your mistakes please try to live together as a family the bible talks so much about repetance
---magdalyne on 1/3/08


Mike: What on earth are you talking about?
---Trish9863 on 1/2/08


Has your wife and Yeshua-Jesus released you from marriage? Are you afraid to face correction? If she forgave you by Biblical standards, A true Christian will submit to restoration Christian family counseling. Snap out of it, Get back on the narrow path. Use the rest of your life for Jesus Christ. If you repented forgive yourself. Submit to your wife and Christ. Defeat the advesary's plan to destroy you with lust. Overcome bro. Don't you want the crown of life?
---Yochanon on 1/2/08


Shawn ... No I for one did not see it.
Can you tell us what it was that all these leaders said?
---alan_of_UK on 1/2/08


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Its no wonder you have problems.
YOU LEFT GOD OUT.
---Jack_8773 on 1/2/08


In Gods Name

Did anyone see the special In Gods Name Sunday Night Dec. 23 on ABC? If so what do you now think about World Unity, after hearing from the leaders of every major world religion?, because they all said the same thing when it came to their Faith & Beliefs.
---Shawn.M.T on 1/2/08


Is Everything Written Down?

There are so many things which Jesus did, if they all should be written down, the world itself could not contain them all (John 21:25). Why are so many people so surprised when they SEE or HEAR the Word of God in other books?
---Shawn.M.T on 1/2/08


God said that we are not to judge for we will be judge by our own judgement. If she forgave you and you asked forgiveness from God, He will forgive you if you are truelly sorry.

If you need to talk you can contact me.


stefa7889



God Bless

Stefan
---Stefan on 1/2/08


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Get your head examined and see if there's really anything inside there that you can work with. Quit lying to everyone and find something useful to do with your time besides telling lies.
---Mike on 1/1/08


If your wife has forgiven you, and you have confessed it to God and received forgiveness from Him, then, you have no excuse to leave and would only be compounding the situation if you do. Ask God to bring some accountability partner(s) into your life to help you control the things that caused you to fall in the first place.
---tommy3007 on 1/1/08


"I have hurt my family enough already."

Romans 8:28 And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.

Whatever suffering you create or endure will work out in time no matter how bad it looks today. The Bible tells us that "God hates divorce" and "If you love me keep my commandments" NEVER GIVE UP, GOD IS AT THE END OF THIS PROCESS WITH OPEN ARMS.
---Pharisee on 12/31/07


I pray you will truly submit your life to the Lord and repent of your sin. You have fallen into the trap of the enemy who seeks to destroy you, your marriage and your family. Remember, apart from HIM, you can do nothing. A.W. Tozer said it best, In the end the biggest enemy we have to overcome, is ourselves. Read Eph Chapters 5-6
---Bish on 12/31/07


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Charles
1)A husbands constant battle to leave something should be his fears & regrets not his wife & family?

No husband is perfect? But he is to always strive in the Word of God, to grow and become a brighter light of the Lord, for his family and the world.

Do you not believe that it will hurt your wife & family more if you are not around, and they wish you to be? They have forgiven you, now you have to forgive yourself?
---Shawn.M.T on 12/31/07


2) Pray for the strength of the Lord to overcome your sins. His forgiven & peace is there and you just need to earnestly repent and accept the grace that God has offered, So your torment will cease and you may continue in peace to living the life of a Godly husband & father.
---Shawn.M.T on 12/31/07


charles,first ask god for forgivness,your struggle is not uncommon among men.a good mens group in a local church with accountability would help,also ask for the holy spirit to give strength to overcome this temptation.
---tom2 on 12/31/07


Charles, your failures, fear, regret, having hurt people, and guilt do not decide what is good and right for you. It's God's choice, guy. God bless you!!! Do a lot of thanking that your wife forgives you. Build on this good which needs to have more power than evil to decide things. Talk with her about what good she is ready to do, and join and help her as much as you can, perhaps would be good. Find out what good God can do with you.
---Bill_bila5659 on 12/31/07


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God has forgiven you the split second that you confessed up to your sin. He casted it into the sea of forgetfulness never to be remembered.
To remember is to connect a person back to something.
Re-member who you are in Christ.(2Corinthians 5:21, Romans 8:17, Ephesians 2:10)

Renew your mind with the word & don't meditate on your mistake. God has forgotten it.
---Rickey on 12/31/07


If your wife doesn't want divorce then stay in the marriage. Reason being, 1Corintians 7 talks about divorce & marriage. It would be better to stay together.

Fight the good fight of faith in this. Satan hates marriages because they are like Christ and the church.(Ephesians 5)

Renew your mind with the word & speak the word of God concerning your marriage & forgiving yourself.(Romans 8:1, Isaiah 43:25-26, Micah 7:19)
---Rickey on 12/31/07


In Joshua 1:8 it says, "...meditate therein day and night..."

The word meditate literally means "to speak, mutter, say, think on"

By doing this with the word of God you will have victory over the situation.

The victory is already your's, but you just have to lay hold of it.
---Rickey on 12/31/07


I'm into the same sin of adultery though I love my family so much. Plan a week fasting and fervent prayer as I have decided to do.
God help us all.
---Palmer on 12/31/07


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Take courage friend, there is reward for those who's hearts suffer long in their penitence.

You gave in to sexual sin, and you have to STOP looking at other women. If you do that you create something in your mind your wife cannot live up to, and you'll treat her accordingly.
Purpose your heart to pay for what you've done, in this there is honor.
Let thine eye be single (Matthew 6:22-23)
---Pharisee on 12/31/07


Fear is not of God.
You need to find a hospital where they can treat you for a variety of problems, mental, physical and emotional.
---Jennifer on 12/31/07


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