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Husband Asked To Step Down

My husband and I went to our pastor looking to strengthen our relationship and my husband was asked to step down from a leadership position. I was told that this could have happened sooner due to my lack of regular church attendance. Can someone explain this?

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 ---Annon on 1/5/08
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The church needs someone whom they can depend on. If the church can't depend on you or your husband to be there to teach or to lead service, it is only fair to get someone who they can depend on. Even if your ill, it is only fair.
---Rebecca_D on 2/11/08


Has he been divorced and remarried?
That disqualifies someone from leading and counseling others in the church.
It does not mean he's not forgiven after repentance, but the sovereignty of God's Word is providence.
It does not mean there are not other jobs he can have in the church, but pastor is not one of them.
But then again, many are deciding to depart from the Word and start their own purpose driven church with your their own purposes in mind, and usually it's money.
---Cindy on 2/10/08


The conventional church, as we know it, is quickly losing its effect in the world. Sure I may be late in saying this, but today's church is definitely an apostate church. If you cannot turn your back on the denomination churches and do God's work in a different manner you will be forced to conform to the denominational church's methods. Churches I'm acquainted with use the following methods, make pork sausage, hang cards on doorknobs, and such. And I tell you that ain't good.
---Mima on 2/9/08


Well, I am learning on what not to do. Put no confidence in the flesh. We should not be so hastey and abuse the power that God gives us. I feel that this preacher was unfair as long as your husband was doing His job. I mean, if you wanted to attend another church not any of the preacher's business as long as someone is doing their job. In this case your husband. And I assumned that he was.
---catherine on 1/17/08


Yes...when you are in leadership positions you are watched very carefully, you are to be an example to the other members, you have to give more money to support different ministries. No thanks. They can keep their positions. I may want to stay home three Sundays in a row. If I am in a leader position, sometimes, I can't do that. I want to stay at home and read my bible and commune with the Lord,sometimes.But it is important to assemble with the saints(go to church).
---Robyn on 1/16/08




Corporations are spending thousands of dollars each year on marital seminars because they have learned that a poor relationship among married couples effects the employee's work. The same is true in the church. If your husband had a place of leadership, it will be effected by his relationship with you. The pastor was correct in asking him to step down, if he did it properly. What is important is was he able to strengthen the relationship?
---wivv on 1/15/08


As Christians we tend to eat our own. They should have supported you instead of alienating you. A friend of mine, a former Southern Baptist preacher, left the church after his wife left him. He came home to find that she had taken off. The church gave him less than three days to move everything out of the parsonage and never let him preach again. He has not been back to church since then. Sad.
---randy on 1/8/08


It's quite possible that the Pastor felt your husband needed some time to get his house in order. If a man cannot lead his household, how is he to lead the church body? Rather than getting upset and hurt over the Pastor's decision, think of it as a release from certain obligations in your life allowing you the time and privacy to deal with the issues in your relationship. The Pastor cannot strengthen your relationship, only God can. Perhaps the Pastor was trying to nudge you in God's direction...
---kady on 1/7/08


Mima...We have heard that same statement several times. My husband's answer to that is "You out yourself in jail/prison. God did not." But, God does use that situation to changed peoples' lives.
---Susie on 1/7/08


#-1-one possible answer could be that all of this(church expulsion) is the divine plan of God. I have known many men in prison ministry to openly state that they believe they're incarceration to be for the specific purpose of their hearing the message of Jesus Christ and getting saved. Sure this answer flies in the face of all conventional thinking, but that does not preclude it from being true.
---Mima on 1/7/08




Why is your church attendance irregular? What reason was your husband given for being asked to step down? Is your marriage in jeopardy? These are all good questions which will help explain, but the best place to get an explanation would be from the person who asked him to step down.
---Trish9863 on 1/6/08


Anything with no head is dead, and anything with two heads is a freak- Pastor Adrien Rogers (love worth finding ministries)

I cannot imagine why he'd be asked to not assume a leadership role as a man when that is what's clearly outlined in scripture.

He couldn't have possibly demanded that this be the way henceforth (is this temporary?) and if he did he's advised you against God's word.
---Pharisee on 1/5/08


You don't attend church regularly with your husband and your marriage was in such trouble that you needed to go to the pastor for counseling. Those sound like two very good reasons why your husband needed to step down from a leadership position. All leaders should set good examples and if their wife is not supporting them in that leadership role, there is something wrong. Could it be that your husband is not the same person at home that people see at church?
---Susie on 1/5/08


I am sorry to hear this has happened to you. What a blow! Let me share this: I am very careful about exposing my business to other people in the church.And that is sad because we should be able to do this within our church family. This goes to show us the sad state of things in our churches. Now leaders can advise and admonish us but it should be done in love. Did your pastor do this in love? Has he been there for you and your spouse before you asked for help?
---Robyn on 1/5/08


Mere attendance at church does not guarantee an exciting and alive Christian walk, but can validate it.
---Lynda on 1/5/08


There is not enough information to give an intelligent answer.
But, the wife is a major part of the team in the family and worship. If she is not involved it gives the appearance that she doesn't care for spiritual things.
The best thing is to have the pastor explain his comments and actions to you both. I am sure things can be corrected.
---Elder on 1/5/08


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Well, annon, if he was a leader in the church, he's supposed to be an example, which can include being faithful to the church by regular attendance and having companionship who supports this being a faithful example, herself. But you should not do it just to make a show. Plus, if you two are meant for each other, I'd say he should stay with you, and you two can together develop to be an exemplary couple. Consider 1 Timothy 3:1-10. This shows me one needs to become a good example before becoming a leader.
---Bill_bila5659 on 1/5/08


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