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Deal With Jealous Boyfriend

My boyfriend is jealous of the relationships I have with my 2 grown boys- 21 and 23. I was a single parent for many years. He tells me that God comes first, then him and then my children. How can I deal with this.

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 ---Dana on 3/17/08
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That is a total twist of scripture and here is why. You are a single mom, that means you have become one with a previous man,, most likely your ex husband. IN THAT marriage, god was supposed to be the head of the man, and him the head of you. But the two became one flesh, also that flesh was your sons. So this was of god... the convenent and the one flesh. That is why god clearly commands, if a woman leaves her husband she is reamain single and unmarried. Gods word is perfect. This man is neither your husband, nor the one flesh... and may even be causing you to commit immorality. Stay strong.
---wal_rev on 10/21/08


Your boyfriend is ALMOST correct. God is not really first, if you were outlining your statement - God is TOTAL and should control our every movement. (But, this isn't an English class.) He comes third, not second as long as he is your boyfriend. If you ever marry, he than would become second, but not at this stage. It really reads like he's possessive and jealous of the attention you are giving your adult children.
---wivv on 3/22/08


Jealous of the relationships you have with sons 21 and 23 years old? This makes him and you maybe at least 41 or more years old, and he's jealous at THIS age?

"the husband is the head of the wife" (in Ephesians 5:23), so he would be over you over the kids, but responsible for making sure they get your love, AND that you love ALL other people, like Jesus as our Head has us doing. He's apparently NOT into this, NOT getting ready to be your head (o:
---Bill_bila5659 on 3/19/08


Dana...The key problem here is that this man is already making demands regarding your children. A man who really loves you would not be making these demands. Don't settle for this. Wait until a Godly man comes along. God has the right one for you. Just because you have waited all these years doesn't mean God won't bring in Mr. Right.
---Susie on 3/19/08


Dump him. My children will always be special in my life, and no man will get between us.
---Trish9863 on 3/18/08




Does he make at least as much an issue of if you pay attention to God and make time for God...so you have rest for your soul (Matthew 11:29)? Or is he mainly about himself, and getting you to do what *he* wants? Does he have time for your sons? Does he show them an example of putting God first, and *humbly* offering himself to them, for them to determine if he really is good for them? Or, is he just trying to *use* you for "something" (o:
---Bill_bila5659 on 3/18/08


God comes first, and God wants you to love your sons, and bring them up even more in how to relate with God and love all people. If you're not doing this, then **Jesus*** is jealous of how you do not put God first in your upbringing of your boys. Does your boyfriend deal with you about making sure you teach your boys to love ALL people as yourselves? Or, is he mainly concerned about himself with you?
---Bill_bila5659 on 3/18/08


If I am relating with a lady with children, I don't have to compete with them, if I am really good for her. If I am really good and of God for her, this can speak for itself so she will make time for me. Is he so obviously good for you, that you make sure you make time for him? Does he *humbly* offer himself to you...or push and argue? "nor as being lords over those entrusted to you, but being examples to the flock." (1 Peter 5:3)
---Bill_bila5659 on 3/18/08


I agree with what Susie said that man isn't your husband so therefore he has no rights to your children and why are you putting up with a man who is jealous of your kids?
---Ann on 3/18/08


I agree that God should come first, but your boyfriend shouldn't come before your children. He isn't your husband. If he is jealous as you say now, if God don't change him, he will get worse. Any man that that tries to come in between a Mother and her kids are rocking the boat. And if the man don't watch, he'll get thrown overboard.
---Rebecca_D on 3/18/08




Dana
1) Susie is partly correct? He is not your husband. At best right now he falls under your children because you both are not one in marriage. But even if you guys were married he would never come before the little ones.
---Shawn.M.T on 3/17/08


2) When you are married the two of you become One in Christ. We in Christ serve the Lord by serving others outside of ourselves. Seeing how those who are married are one, the pecking order always goes: the Lord then others outside of ourselves. Regarding the order between the two who are married: well the Lord said the greatest shall be the least and the first shall be last, knowing this it up to you to decide which you desire to be?
---Shawn.M.T on 3/17/08


God comes first. Then you're children. You're children have been you're life for 21 and 23 years. He has been in it for how long. I think even if you were to get married, you're children should still be above him. That's just my opinion though. You need to tell him where you want your children in your life, if you want them above him he needs to accept it. If he can't then you might want to consider getting out of the relationship. What is he jealous of?
---mary on 3/17/08


Since this man is not your husband, he does not make the list. Should you decide to marry this jealous man, he would then be ahead of your children. However, since the committment of marriage has not happened, he has no rights.
---Susie on 3/17/08


He may have mommy issues, or you may be unbalanced. Maybe both.

In any event it's grace that moves us higher, and not to ridicule, but why is he a "boyfriend." I have a bias for this word, it's what the world calls this week's sexual partners.

"How can I deal with this."
That is what will fail you, you dealing with it, anything I "deal with" is usually brutalized and broken, but the loving touch of God can do all things. Call upon him in faith and wait.
---pharisee on 3/17/08


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