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My Sister Broke Her Word

I booked a flight to visit my family 2000 miles away. The very day I bought the ticket, my sister said she didn't want to see me- though we planned this 6 months ago- She has done this before. She figures I will forget about in 6 months. What is the Godly response to a situation such as this?

Moderator - What was her reason?

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 ---Marble on 4/11/08
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Marble I have questions. Will you be staying with your sister? Do you have other family that you planned to visit? If you have more than just her there, why worry about this behavior that she has done in the past? Possibly visit the other relatives and stay away from her. I would not let her ruin the trip to see the ones who want to see you. If there are no other relatives there, I definetly would never plan another trip to see her. I feel badly for you. Sorry:( Thats gotta hurt!
---jody on 4/29/08


I know it may cost some money do to what you did. But, as we as Christians is to pray for one another and keep each other motivated. To continue to love one another. Did you think to just maybe, go on your own?
---Paula on 4/18/08


In the first sentence you use the word, "family",but you state your sister is the one who doesn't want to see you. If your sister is the only one who doesn't want to see you, although there are other family members you are going to see, go anyway. If she doesn't want to see you, she can go somewhere else. But, the more important question is "why" doesn't she want to see you? Ask her this question.
---wivv on 4/14/08


Andy "you both need to settle in front of a family council, call her in front of your parents or brothers and ask her". This isn't quite as easy as you make it sound when they live 2000 miles apart. I live 300 miles from my relatives, a mere drop in the ocean compared with 2000 miles but even I would find it hard to do what you suggest.
---RitaH on 4/14/08


"What is the Godly response to a situation such as this?"
Forgiveness, combined with a sincere desire and honest attempt to understand another's reasoning and point of view, without any preconceived notions or selfish bias judgments. Making an earnest attempt to reconcile ones differences through communication, with a sincere willingness to listen. If one takes time to recognize ones own weaknesses and limitations, one will be more inclined to bear the weaknesses and limitations of another.
---josef on 4/13/08




I would let your sister know that her last-minute cancellation was hurtful to you.

Because she has done this before, I would stop making arrangements with your sister, for events. If she wants to regain your trust, let he initiate the communication.
---Augie on 4/12/08


I would let her know the problems and hurt this has caused you and then leave it that. Your obligation is to forgive. It may be that she will apologize for her actions.
---john on 4/12/08


wel biblical spoken you both need to settle in front of a family council, call her in front of your parrents or brothers and ask her Why. i know in America this is a "horror" to do, yet if you have loving family they will settle it between you without any prejudice. So finally you know why she is doing this. maybe you have offended her without even knowing, or she only a stubborn unconciderate girl, yet unless you ask a mediator you will not know.
---andy on 4/12/08


Are you saing that this is the SECOND time you all have decided for you to visit her, and she cancels her invitation?

I don't think SHE is the one with the problem.
---Jack on 4/11/08


From the way your question is worded you were not going specifically to see your sister but were visiting your 'family'. Why don't you just go and enjoy the company of the other people who make up your family. Unless this sister was the one who was offering accommodation and no-one other member of the family has room for you, I can see no reason why you shouldn't still go. Her feelings shouldn't be the only ones to considered here. If you go this time she is less likely to do this again.
---RitaH on 4/12/08




Do you have other family there who wants to see you? Have you asked her why she does this? Maybe she is afraid of something. Is she a Christian? Pray and ask God to give you insight, then call her and talk to her.
---melann on 4/12/08


Let her make the reservations next time.
---Ted on 4/11/08


Good question, moderator (o: Why assume she doesn't have a good reason to avoid Marble?

But IF, Marble, you are a real Christian who is considerate and relates right with people . . . and if she is hoping you will forget by six months later . . . come on > you know full well she doesn't want you to visit.

So, I don't push myself on people, I offer. And I may double-check if I suspect someone might have somehow felt pressured or guilt-tripped to invite me.
---Bill_bila5659 on 4/11/08


There are abusers who have been divorced by their wives, then they have accused their wives of breaking their word of their vows.

Well, those men *tempted* their wives to break their word, IF those women really did.

Likewise . . . Marble . . . there are plenty of ways I have related in a way that has "tempted" people not to be Christian with me. You could tell us more (o: You are unique, and not me (o:
---Bill_bila5659 on 4/11/08


hi, all i can say is that we have to forgive unconditionally or we will not be forgiven. I believe you should tell her that you forgive her. And then things might get better. I will keep you in my prayers. I hope this helped.
Blessings,
ellie7766
---Ellie on 4/11/08


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