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2008 May What's Up Humor

It's time for a May What's Up Blog and Humor Blog? What's Up?

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 ---Trish9863 on 5/1/08
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Moderator:: Hope your son won the tournament.
---M. on 5/15/08


Darleen1::Keep your teeth, change your dentist who advocates pulling.Extraction is easy money treating is more work and less pay.You have one set of teeth.hang tight to what you have you wont be sorry in the long run.Tooth extraction is the last resort says a "GOOD "dentist.
---Emcee on 5/15/08


They Walk Among Us!

My sister has a lifesaving tool in her car designed to cut through a seat belt if she gets trapped. She keeps it in the trunk.
---NVBarbara on 5/15/08


That's great to hear Darlene! Maybe God wanted you to change caregivers so HE could bless you more! I'll be praying about your health, God bless!
---NVBarbara on 5/14/08


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Right back at you Emcee :-)
---NVBarbara on 5/13/08


Kella,NVBarbara,Emcee,thanks so much for your encouraging words. I appreciate all the prayers,I am on the mend. I must say what seems awful at the time may have something good come out of it besides just feeling better. The dentist who pulled the tooth doesn't think I need to have all my teeth pulled,as previous dentist said,so I will let him evaluate my needs and find out. God Bless
---Darlene_1 on 5/13/08


NVB:: *:-o) always
---Emcee on 5/13/08


I have posted my penpal addy here many times, barba5354. Through this I have made some lasting friends. I don't 'shred' on blogs or in mail. I DO understand Tommy, I get those Volunteer's notes and the ones urging you to take the Quizzes. But I also get lovely notes & cards from other bloggers. NO trashing or 'shredding', just fellowship. Thank you Emcee, Alan and Karen. Perfectly fine Caloopy, that's why I said "those who choose."
Great Holly, my son is a lawyer in Ft.Myers!
---NVBarbara on 5/12/08


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NvBarb, As someone else already said," Nobody here wants a deeper relationship." I just removed my name from the penpal register because all the e-mail I was receiving was from the web master, president or some volunteers wanting to talk me into trying this or that.
---tommy3007 on 5/12/08


CO loopy:: You sure dont know much about NVB, but you do need to read more, before you form opinions .Gentlemen who make mistakes apologise if they dont you have outclassed & outcast yourself.
---Emcee on 5/12/08


What is Coloopy on about?
---a on 5/12/08


Cutting people to shreds, can only be done if the person allows it to bother them, and cannot debate the sinful offence off them. In this manner publicly and example of humiliation but not in the inward person: they are still smiling.
---michael on 5/12/08


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coloopy....NvBarb has NEVER cut anyone to shreds in here. You're attacking the wrong person. She is a great example of a Christian.
---KarenD on 5/12/08


NVBarbara, many of us don't want a more probing conversation. This is as good as it gets. Private emails are boring. Not only boring, but it comes down to talking about everyone else on here. Who wants to do that? If we want to know what others think of us, all we have to do is ask..openly, in the open air. If you want to cut someone in shreds, do it in the open air.
---Coloopy on 5/12/08


NVBarb, there are imaginary internet friends with imaginary internet alliances that gang up on imaginary bloggers with imaginary penpal numbers and addy's. I've run into quite a few of those, I don't bother anymore.
Trish, I hope you were able to fix your car after your latest accident.
---Coloopy on 5/12/08


Darlene, NVB has good advice-get some rest. I hope you feel better soon. That is quite the ordeal you went through.
---Kella3336 on 5/12/08


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Hi everyone...well...I just got back from Florida where I attended my daughter's graduation from Law School. I am very proud of her and what she has accomplished. Law school is very, very hard! Now she just has to pass the bar in July and she will be official. Just what the world needs, one more lawyer! Fortunately my daughter has ethics! Please pray for her to pass the bar the first time around. Her name is Shaina.
Thanks! :-)
---Holly4jc on 5/11/08


hey barbara,fhoma6579.
---tom2 on 5/11/08


Darlene! :You have weathered the worst Its time to heal.:-o)Cheers not tears.
---Emcee on 5/11/08


This ought to give a chuckle! My wife and I went Saturday to visit my uncle who is an inmate at Hamilton Correctional here in Florida. When we arrived, we discovered that they had a "Drug Interdiction Team" there and that everyone would be screened for drugs. No problem, right? Well, my screen showed a positive for low-level trace of meth-amphetamine. Had to go back outside and have my vehicle searched, they found nothing, of course. See Part 2
---tommy3007 on 5/11/08


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Part 2: Comment was made however about our being state volunteers, our badges were in the vehicle. I told another visitor that this would make for interesting conversation at chapel services that afternoon. lol
---tommy3007 on 5/11/08


My mother taught me: To appreciate a job well done:'If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just cleaned.'
My mother taught me: RELIGION.
'You better pray that'll come out of the carpet.'
My mother taught me-Time Travel.
'If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!'
My mother taught me: LOGIC .
'If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going shopping with me.'
---NVBarbara on 5/10/08


My mother taught me: FORESIGHT.
'Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident.'

My mother taught me: IRONY
'Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about.'

My mother taught me about the science of OSMOSIS .
'Shut your mouth and eat your supper.'

My mother taught me: CONTORTIONISM.
'Will you look at that dirt on the back of your neck!'


Happy Mother's Day!
---NVBarbara on 5/10/08


A guy trying to rob a Bank of America branch in Calif. filled out a deposit slip with this message: "This iz a stickup. Put all your muny in this bag."
He worried that someone had seen him, so he went across the street to a Wells Fargo bank. The teller, knowing she had something less than a genius on her hands, said she couldn't honor the request because it was on a Bank of America deposit slip. He went back to Bank of America to try again, police called by Wells Fargo nabbed him. TRUE!
---NVBarbara on 5/10/08


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I wish that those who choose to would put their penpal address on your posts, somebody may want a deeper discussion about some subjects, or just a friendly hello!
---NVBarbara on 5/9/08


Bless you Darlene, get some rest! It sounds like you had a very hard time sis. God bless.
---NVBarbara on 5/9/08


Kella,NVBarbara,thanks,its out. It was aweful, I will never have another tooth out without being put to sleep. Gas didn't help much,it usually does,but I was frankly anxious. Tooth hard to get out. It was worse than I knew. Abcess had eroded the bone which Dr. had to clean by grinding off. It will fill back in but take time. Now this ole boohoo baby is going to sleep. Love & God Bless.
---Darlene_1 on 5/9/08


Great Darlene, I pray all goes well - God bless.
---NVBarbara on 5/9/08


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Darlene, I hope you get it pulled. :-)
---Kella3336 on 5/9/08


They Walk Among Us!

While working at a pizza parlor I observed a man ordering a small pizza to go. He appeared to be alone and the cook asked him if he would like it cut into 4 pieces or 6. He thought about it for some time before responding. 'Just cut it into 4 pieces, I don't think I'm hungry enough to eat 6 pieces.'
---NVBarbara on 5/8/08


NVBarbara I found a dentist, I may get the tooth out at 11 Am Friday,They'll be checking x-ray and if they can,will pull it tomorrow. I'll be glad to get it out.
---Darlene_1 on 5/8/08


NVBarbara,thanks for your suggestion. I'm calling dentists tomorrow to see if I can get it pulled this week and I will look for one who does. I found one who puts one to sleep with oral medication but I don't want to do that if I don't have to. Anything by mouth I don't wake up very fast. Little Greatgrandchild funny,my 2 1/2 year old went to see "Iron Man" at movie He said "this is going to be AWESOME!!" AWESOME! is his big word used this month. Before it was WOW! Aren't kids cute?
---Darlene_1 on 5/7/08


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I teach 7th grade Geography. I asked the kids to list 5 things they know about China, one of my kids wrote, "It begins with "C."

I asked the kids to read a chapter about Japan, and then answer some questions. Given the context, I asked the question, "Where do most Japanese people live?" My first three classes all answered with, "In cities." Some smart aleck in my last period class said, "Japan, of course."
---Trish9863 on 5/7/08


Darlene, if the Xylocaine or whatever your dentist uses won't deaden the pain, why don't they use gas or something that will knock you out? Just a suggestion. God bless.
---NVBarbara on 5/7/08


Back to a little humor! (very little)

I like escalators because an escalator can never break: it can only become stairs. You'll never see an Escalator Temporarily Out Of Order sign, just Escalator Temporarily Stairs. Sorry for the convenience. We apologize that you can still get up there.
---NVBarbara on 5/7/08


More kidney stones? Argh! John I'm sorry to hear about your daughter. I'll add her to my prayer list. How old is Nancy, John? Indeed, God can heal her! God bless all of you who are having health problems.
---NVBarbara on 5/7/08


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Darlene_1, I feel so bad that you are going through this ordeal. Keep me informed. I'll keep you in my prayers. It is one of the worst pains I've experienced and hope it is all over for you soon dear.
---Kella3336 on 5/7/08


Hugs right back at you NVB and to you too Emcee. Many:-)'s
---Kella3336 on 5/7/08


Kella3336,thank you,you really went through a drawn out process at least they saved it. I've already seen a dentist and my doctor and both said it has to be pulled,but the catch is the deading medication they shoot in there won't deaden it as long as abcessed. I really dread having it pulled. I'm a big ole baby where dental work is concerned and I was told they all have to be pulled. God Bless
---Darlene_1 on 5/6/08


Alan Cinco is "5" in Spanish,de is "of", Mayo is "May" everyone in the World has a 5th of May. Ha Ha Good one KarenD.
---Darlene_1 on 5/6/08


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Rebbeca, my daughter Nancy is going through the same thing. 8 months ago she had surgery to remove a huge stone. Last week she was back in the hospital for another, so they put in a stent. Next week she goes back in for surgery to remove the stone. The doc's say she will always have this problem, but God can change everything. I'll pray, you pray. God bless you all.
---John on 5/6/08


Darlene_1, I had the same problem. It is so painful...I lost sleep, could barely eat,and nothing relieved the pain...:-| I eventually had to get it drained, then eventually a root canal. Take Care
---Kella3336 on 5/6/08


Karen, that's kind of like asking if there's a 4th of July in France!
---NVBarbara on 5/5/08


KarenD ... Nor do I
Can you explain?
Ta
---alan_of_UK on 5/5/08


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Mod:: I must fess up I have discovered the reason for my FAULT like in badminton its called "double touch"but I am working on it. At first I thought it was my Mouse.but even he dosen't squeek.He has an electrical soul which is about to be shot.
---Emcee on 5/5/08


Rebecca dear its awful that you've gone through so much agony, but try to hang in there help is on the way! We live in a very litigous society, and suits can drag out for years. Secondly, if you sue a Dr., whether you win the suit or not you will be placed on a National list that Dr's have access to and often they won't accept you as a patient! I've seen it happen, and with all your medical problems you don't need that! God bless.
---NVBarbara on 5/5/08


Someone said the other day that Mexico is the only country with a "Cinco de Mayo". I told them that the whole world has one. They didn't get it.
---KarenD on 5/5/08


Elder, have you thought of marketing your coffee as drain cleaner? Maybe sell it to Roto Rooter?
"Elder's Holy Cleanser, just like salvation-Once is enough!"
---NVBarbara on 5/5/08


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Hi all,hope this is a blessed month for all,God keep you in his hand. Please pray for me,I have an abcesssed tooth which isn't responding to antibiotics,and the dentist can't pull it untill it does. Antibiotics by mouth also making me sick so its a doubled edged sword. Thanks, love to all.
---Darlene_1 on 5/5/08


Hey, Barbara I dropped my Mayo down the sinko too.
Had to clear it out with my coffee. Caused the pipes to turn to stone. But, that's OK. They are really slick now.
---Elder on 5/5/08


Happy Cinco de Mayo to all our Mexican friends!
---NVBarbara on 5/5/08


NvBarb, that's a good one.
---Eloy on 5/5/08


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Rebecca D don't be quick to think about Lawsuit. My sons doctor told him exactly the same thing. They had to analyze what the stones were made of and for one form there is a pill and another the pill doesn't help. My son lucked out and had the type that pills will help. Either there could be a breakthrough in treatment for all types or the doctor you have now could be wrong. Whatever I will sure be praying for you. There is a treatment where they immerse you in water and break the stones with ultasound.
---Darlene_1 on 5/4/08


Huggs Emcee! You too Kella.
Eloy I always thought God's name was 'Harold!'

'Humor is the great thing, the saving thing. The minute it crops up, all our irritations and resentments slip away and a sunny spirit takes their place.' Mark Twain
---NVBarbara on 5/4/08


A pretty redhead sees a Dr. and says that her body hurt wherever she touched it.
Impossible says the doctor, show me.
The redhead took her finger, pushed on her left shoulder and screamed, then her elbow and screamed more. She pushed her knee and screamed,then her ankle and screamed. Everywhere she touched made her scream.
The doctor said, You're not really a redhead, are you? 'Well, no' she said, 'I'm really a blonde.'
'I thought so,' the doctor said. 'Your finger is broken'
---NVBarbara on 5/3/08


Happy B-Day Emcee.
---Duane_Dudley_Martin on 5/3/08


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Kellar::Thank you as we share His blessings & Love in abundance.NVB loves a joke also shoppingMost of all her motorised 2 wheeler
She also is sweet & sensitive.
---Emcee on 5/3/08


Kellar::Thank you as we share His blessings & Love in abundance.NVB loves a joke also shoppingMost of all her motorised 2 wheeler
She also is sweet & sensitive.
---Emcee on 5/3/08


#1. I went to my Doctor in Pittsburgh, PA. and he told me that my left kidney is full of stones and I have a large stone that needs to be busted. But the bad part is, it is in the lower part of the kidney. So he will have to put a tube through my back and go in that way to break up the stone. Since the stone is so big, he will blast it for 3 hours on Monday then on Wednesday, do it again. He also said, that there is medicine that will help prevent kidney stones.
---Rebecca_D on 5/3/08


#2. My Doctor also told me that he will help me by giving medicine to prevent kidney stones. Then asked why I haven't been taking it? I said, I was told I have stones that can't be helped and I would have to live with it. He said, no the medicine will help with all stones. My surgeries will be June 30th and July 2nd. I can't understand why my old Urologist hasn't done anything since July 07. I could have been stone free for the past year if he would have helped. Lawsuit? Yeah, that's what I'm thinking.
---Rebecca_D on 5/3/08


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~Emcee~ Happy Belated Birthday- may you have many more:-)'s blessings- Kella
---Kella3336 on 5/3/08


NVBarbara~ Thanks:-). This kid has many more years to drive everyone crazy...,-). BTW, I read your blonde joke to my husband. He cracked up. We have not heard this one before.
---Kella3336 on 5/3/08


My little sister told me that she knows God's name...Our Father who in the heavens, Howard be your name...
---Eloy on 5/3/08


My birthday is Jan 18, Emcee. So next year....(if I make it!)
---frances008 on 5/2/08


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You're fortunate to still have your parents Frances. I have 'adopted' Emcee as my surrogate Dad, he's a dear soul. Love ya' 'dad'!
---NVBarbara on 5/2/08


29 Kella? Hon I have clothes older than you!
No young one, if you live right it just gets better!
Happy Belated Birthday 'kid'.
---NVBarbara on 5/2/08


Two blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench talking, and one blonde says to the other, 'Which do you think is farther away... Florida or the moon?'
The other blonde turns and says 'Hellooooooooo, can you see Florida ?????'
---NVBarbara on 5/2/08


Thank you Frances008,if I knew yours I'd wish you tooThanks again
---Emcee on 5/1/08


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Thank you Frances008,if I knew yours I'd wish you tooThanks again
---Emcee on 5/1/08


I used to teach in an inner city which was not far from a place called Hebburn. The children would say 'Our Father, which art in Hebburn...' It always made me sit up. I tried to tell them 'Not Hebburn, Heaven.'
---frances008 on 5/1/08


A belated Happy Birthday to you, Emcee. Long may you continue to enjoy your birthdays. You are the same age as my parents (roughly).
---frances008 on 5/1/08


My son who spoke well and had a large vocabulary at 2 years old came to me one day and said 'Mom, what's 'thesino'? I was puzzled and questioned him about it. He was getting a bit frustrated after repeating the word and trying to make me understand. ...Finally he said, 'you know mom like we sing in church, Jesus loves me 'thesino!'
True story of my son Bobby.
---NVBarbara on 5/1/08


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:-) :-) :-) & I was 38 in reverse on the 18 April cheer up kellar, You can say I'M at the end of my Rope but not dangling .
---Emcee on 5/1/08


I thought it was still April. I turned 29 on the 12th. Does it get worse?
---Kella3336 on 5/1/08




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