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Person Hurt Me In Church

How do you handle a Church Hurt? When someone in the church has hurt you?

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 ---Gina on 5/14/08
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markV, as before, I am not hear to honor sinners. You yourself look up what you desire.
---Eloy on 12/12/10

Cluny, you blaspheme: "Let no person deceive you: whoever does righteousness is righeous, even as Christ is righteous. Whoever that commits sin is of the devil, for the devil sins from the beginning. Whosoever is born of God does not commit sin, for God's seed remains in that one and that one cannot sin, because that one is born of God. In this the children of God are manifest, and the children of the devil: whosoever does not righteousness is not of God, neither that one that loves not their brother." I John 3:7-10.
---Eloy on 12/12/10

alan, "blaspheme" (comes from the words, "blame" + "profess or voice"). Thus "blasphemy" means, to speak evil of or to God, or, evil of or to sacred persons or sacred things: profaning: desecrating words: desecrating speaker: sacrilege: dis: disser: disgrace: malign: mock: defame: denigrate: and so on, and so on. It is having a spirit of desecration, which mockingly ascribes the works of the Holy Spirit to Satan. It is calling good evil, the truth a lie, and the Holy unholy. When God's Spirit genuinely works through a person (as He did through Jesus' miracles), and another person (like the Jewish Ministers and Legalists) disses it or disgraces it, that is blasphemy.
---Eloy on 12/12/10

I have extensively elucidated God's Commandment to, "Be holy, for I the Lord your God am holy." on this site, now after a sinner hears this, and still continues to dis and sin and blaspheme, then they have chosen for themself self-condemnation rather than God's salvation: "Either make the tree good and its fruit good, or make the tree rotten and its fruit rotten: for from the fruit the tree is known."
---Eloy on 12/12/10

Eloy, as before you did not show Scripture to what you claim. I do not want to gang up on you, but you come out with some terrible things to others. Why is it that you cannot discuss anything? If you are here so that no one can ask you anything, then you are in the wrong place. I still love you though I really dislike what you say some times.
---Mark_V. on 12/12/10

\\ Because you are a sinner does not mean that all people are like you are, there are sinners and there are saints, \\

If you say you have no sin, Eloy, you deceive yourself, and the Truth, Jesus, Who is also the Light of the World, is NOT IN YOU!

Furthermore, sinuous is NOT the opposite of righteous. You can hold your breath until you turn blue, drum your heels, pound your hands, and bang your head against the wall till it's blood from now to the Parousia, and sinuous will NEVER be the opposite of righteous.
---Cluny on 12/12/10

Eloy ... What is my blasphemy?

The only Jesus is sinless?
The Lord's prayer says "Forgive our sins"?
That only God can judge ans send pwoplw to Hell?
---alan8566_of_UK on 12/11/10

We serve a jealous God and He makes no mystery of that, all through the Old Testament the people are warned about it,example,Deuterronomy 4:24 for the Lord thy God is a consuming fire,even a jealous God. Acts 10:42,43 And he commanded us to preach unto the people,and to testify that it is he which was ordained of God to be the judge of quick and dead. To him give all the prophets witness,that through his name whooever believes in him shall receive remission of sins. This shows Christ is judge not man and even if one sins God forgives even a Christian. Times we are to forgive 70 X 7 Matthew 18:22. God is greater.
---Darlene_1 on 12/11/10

\\alan, until you get saved you will continue to blaspheme.
---Eloy on 12/11/10\\

Only if you're God can you be blasphemed, Eloy.

Are you claiming to be God?
---Cluny on 12/11/10

Stay close to the Lord and fellowship with Him on a daily basis and don't expect a lot from imperfect people even within the church. The Holy Spirit will fill you with good things. Be somewhat indifferent to the hurts of others.
---Tony on 12/11/10


Jesus describes the separation of sheep and goats in Matthew 25. The righteous sheep are not chosen based on how sinless they are. They are not chosen based on any great works they have done (i.e. prophesying, doing miracles, etc.). They are not even chosen based on their correct beliefs, their theological correctness, or their knowledge. They are chose based on their compassion towards others - feeding the hungry, clothing the naked, etc.
---StrongAxe on 12/10/10

alan, until you get saved you will continue to blaspheme.
---Eloy on 12/11/10

Any Christian can sin because all are tempted to sin when they are led astray by their own lust.James 1:14,15 but every man is tempted,when he is drawn away of his own lust,and enticed. Then when lust has conceived,it brings forth sin,and sin when it is finished brings forth death. Christians aren't suspose to sin,they are to fight every thought,situation,and everything which may lead them into lust,and from there to sin. That is what the Holy Ghost does gives us power over all the power of the enemy in order to resist temptation,and when Christians sin they return to Satans hand. People start it with lust and Satan finishs it with chains. Eloy judging others is dangerous Matthew 7:2 you'll be judged as you judge them.
---Darlene_1 on 12/10/10

Eloy ... I must have a different Bible. Mine says that only Jesus is sinless.

He gave us the Lord's Prayer, in which we beg forgiveness of our sins, and since it is a continuing command to use that prayer, it indicates that we continue to sin.

And even if we should be sinless, those that fail in this will be judged by God, not condemned and destroyed by a man.

Even the worst lies about the Pope do not claim that he says he has the power to "Cut them off as an antiChrist and antiGod adversarial nonMember of the body which is condemned and will be destroyed"
---alan8566_of_UK on 12/10/10

alan, you speak falsehood because there is no light in you. Because you are a sinner does not mean that all people are like you are, there are sinners and there are saints, there are evil-doers and there are well-doers, there are the sinuous and there are the righteous, there are the nonborn-again and there are born-again Christians, there are goats and there are sheep, there is the tares and there is the wheat. There are two kinds of people in the world, and not one. That is why there is a hell and there is a heaven.
---Eloy on 12/10/10

MarkV, All know what I have already posted without you wanting to repost what is already posted. Again, as I have asked you before, Please do not ask of me any questions until you are honestly ready to accept the truth, else your dissings of the truth condemn yourself and you are wasting time.
---Eloy on 12/10/10

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Eloy ... We are all sinners ... in that we still sin. When we sin we cannot help hurting others.

We can ask for an apology .... but reparation is not always possible.

You say you will cut them off as "an antiChrist and antiGod adversarial nonMember of the body which is condemned and will be destroyed.

We do not have the power judge, let alone to condemn. But are for God only.
---alan8566_of_UK on 12/10/10

Eloy, this came from you,

"True Christians do not hurt one another, they love each other."
If you believe that, why is it you do not love your neighbor? Why do you hurt them when you make those comments, for them to get saved? When you do not know what is in a persons heart. "Did Jesus say love only the ones who are saved?" If He did, show passages. You are to sacrifice yourself for others, why don't you do that? Why haven't you forgiven your wife? If you have that love of Christ you talk about, it is not showing evidence. You always talk about the tree putting out good fruit, where is your good fruit?
---Mark_V. on 12/10/10

True Christians do not hurt one another, they love each other. The reason people in a church hurt each other is because there are condemned souls whom go to church, they are not Christians and their nature is not from Christ but from sin which their sinuous nature is to destroy. When any sinner hurts me I confront them and demand reparation, and if they refuse then I cut them off as an antiChrist and antiGod adversarial nonMember of the body which is condemned and will be destroyed.
---Eloy on 12/9/10

God commanded us to love one another because He knows that others, and even our brothers or sisters in faith might hurt or offend us.. hurt is just an emotion and real love doesn't rely on emotions alone, love is far greater than the hurt we may feel.. and Jesus also teaches us to forgive and depend on Him for peace..
---sherryl on 12/9/10

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Noone in God's church has permission to hurt a brother or a sister or a mother in the Lord, if any one does then they are not Christian. There is No ifs and No ands and No buts. God's second commandment is to love one another, and he completely expects obedience from each one of his children. If you cannot do this, then you are condemned: they of the world will sin, but if you are going to be called by my name, says the Lord, then depart from sin.
---Eloy on 12/8/10

Jean, I so totally understand what you are saying. I experienced it myself and it took me three years to hold my head up again. I experienced more sickness during those three years than I had my whole Christian life. It was a walk of faith to continue to go and to allow the Lord to heal my crushed heart.
---Linda on 12/8/10

Donna66's comment is right on time and I totally agree. I had to learn this as well. I don't expect anything or very little from people. I use to be just the opposite because I was very open,friendly and giving. I thought everybody was this way. No way! Christians are very disappointing in this. More so, than unbelievers. They jump,shout and talk about Jesus inside the church walls. Outside church they are totally different. Their faith is very little and shallow. They are selfish and knows very little about true christianity. But this is the world we live in,too. People are always looking to use christians. That is the flip side. Christians make mistakes and are only human,too.
---Robyn on 12/8/10

I cried because I felt betrayed by people who I thought loved and respected me. I withdrew from my duties as a leader and almost from God. The hurt factured all my relationships i began feeling alone , uncovered and thought of leaving my church. I thought i had given it too God but I had not. I realized i needed God to heal me and pour out his grace. I had to forgive and release because it took me from my divine assignment into the realm of bitterness.
Today I am free from all because God has given me peace.
---Jean on 12/8/10

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When someone in the church hurts me I remember that I am there to worship the Lord.
He is the reason I am there.
Being hurt is no excuse to abstain from going or hold a grudge.
The Lord told Peter he was to forgive seventy times seven.
---Frank on 10/16/10

Catherine-- Your figures may be right. But this I know, CHRISTIANS will hurt your feelings about as quickly as unbelievers.
(At times, maybe more so).
Often, whether or not they do....depends less on what THEY say or do... as on what YOUR attitude is in response.

You cannot control what others do or say.
You can have control over your own thinking.
That's why I say "don't expect too much".
The lower your expection of others, the less often you will be disappointed. And when they DO turn out to be helpful and/or understanding, you can be surprised and truly grateful!
---Donna66 on 10/16/10

It has been reported that between 65% perhaps even as high as 90% of church members have never been saved. Look around you, do you see all these suppose to be born-again believers serving God, or are they doing the devil's work? [the hypocrites wears only the Christian labile]. God came to me one day in this. Only a few are truly chosen. I have a question for you. Can you find a Scripture to disprove what I say, and why should I have to justify to you what I already know, and have study. Takes UP way too much of my time. If I am not sure OF A SUBJECT I will check my sources. I challenge you, friend, prove that God is a liar in what I say.
---catherine on 10/15/10

I think catherine has the right idea...NOT that most people in the church are unbelievers...but that we make a mistake in expecting too much from them.
Just because they are Christians does not mean they won't hurt our feelings or fail to come through for us in time of need. (have you never disappointed a Christian brother or sister? I have!...not deliberately, but I'm sure they felt it at times). I try to forgive them as I hope they will forgive me. We all have human failings. And I'm not so special that I should expect people to always be as I'd like them to be. Life is full of disappointments for everybody. Nobody is immune!
---Donna66 on 10/15/10

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A little over a year ago I needed a ride to an airport about 80 miles from my home so that I could attend my brothers funeral. I called several people, those I knew to be retired or otherwise have the time, to take me. They all found a reason not to and some just refused. I had to go to a local civic organization to get the ride. This hurt. However, it does not effect the way I minister to or work with these people in the church. As long as God gives me comfort in the church I will, as a deacon, serve all the members I can.
Don't let hurt ruin your worship and fellowship.
---Harold on 10/14/10

It depends on what the hurt is. If it was an unkind word, or a misunderstanding, you can handle it face-to-face and reveal the hurt to the one who caused it, then tell them you want to pray with them. If they are obstinate, then you can bring in the pastor and bring it before the church for addressing, it may even be that rebuking may be in order and the casting out of a demon. And if the offender is truly guilty and the church decides to side with the offender, then you rebuke the church and wipe your feet off against them, and find you a real Christian church rather than a hypocritical one.
---Eloy on 10/14/10


You said: When you go to church, you must realize that most are unbelievers. Don't expect much. Now, believe it or not that is Scripture.

If it's scripture, could you please show us which book, chapter, and verse it is in? I don't recall any scripture saying that most people in the church are lost. Most people in the world, yes - but in the church, no.
---StrongAxe on 10/14/10

When you go to church, you must realize that most are unbelievers. Don't expect much. Now, believe it or not that is Scripture.
---catherine on 10/13/10

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i agree with donna8365 100%
---Hung on 10/13/10

Charlesia: You said you have taken this treatment for many years now,from your pastors wife. What are you waiting on? If you have been wounded as you say. You should have approached her by now or left the church. If you insist on staying, keep praying and wait on the Lord. That is also a choice, you have,beloved. Another thing: you are not hurting as you say. I don't think. When we get tired of hurting we will change things. No one will have to tell you what to do.
---Robyn on 10/13/10

Guess what, God has promised to place me into a church. I don't drive, because, I do not enjoy it. And Because of my afflictions, some of God's plans for me has been pushed back temporarily. I believe I will call whatever church in the area which God leads me to, and ask them to send a bus by. However, I do live out in the country. I really do want to start meeting some people. Since God has moved me back home and out of the apartments that I lived in for four years, I have been rather isolated, except when I go shopping, which I always enjoy.
---catherine on 9/11/10

I am sorry you have been hurt. You must understand that a church is a spiritual hospital for sick people and those who want to live healthier lives. Unfortunately, we run into people within churches in all phases of spiritual development.

Please approach the individual and tell them how they offended you...perhaps they don't even know it. Then, approach The Almighty and His Son, Our Lord, and tell them about it. If anyone understands "church hurts" it's Christ Himself.

Try to understand the situation, own it, then try to forgive the offense. If it cannot be resolved with a witness from the church and satisfaction is not on the horizon, then perhaps finding a new church home is better than living in bitterness.
---Higgins on 9/11/10

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After God saved me He sent me to several churches. Whom I had to deal with some false preachers. But, two of the churches which I attended right after I got saved, well, everyone it seems wanted to mother me, even though I were older than most. And God wanted me to grow-up. I joined the first church that I attended, but, everyone wanted to mother me. I don't understand what there is about me that people want to mother. But, God simply would not have it. So, He finally yanked me out. The thing is I was starting to enjoy some of the attention. God had other ideas.
---catherine on 9/10/10

I have been experiencing hurt at my church for many years from the pastor's wife. The pastor keeps saying that he'll take care of it but has not done anything. She treats the members any kind of way and she treats the children bad. The only way she'll show you any ounce of respect is if you're doing what she wants you to do. I have been praying about the situation but nothing has changed. She is not exemplifying how a pastor's wife or a CHRISTIAN should behave. She keeps gossiping about me and frankly I have had enough. Can anyone help me?
---Charlesia on 9/10/10

Simply forgive that person. Sometimes when we are hurt by somebody and we feel it was unjustified we tend to wait and hope that person will see there mistake and come apologizing to us. When that does not happen our ego is hurt. So instead of waiting for this person to go to you and apologize, why not forgive them. You will feel free and much better once you do that.
God Bless you.
---caroa9397 on 8/20/08

In II Corinthians chapter 11 Paul talks about having been mistreated by false brethren. In II Timothy chapter 4, verse 10 Paul talks about "Demas forsaking him" or leaving the work he did with Paul in the ministry of Jesus Christ. It is part of the Christian walk to experience hurt from fellow "brethren", but Paul concluded his experiences earlier when he said "..nothing shall be able to separate me from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus" in Romans chapter 8, verse 39!!!! We are told to forbear one another in love, or rather stand strong in our love for one another despite hurts in Ephesians chapter 4, verse 2, and Colossians chapter 3, verse 13.
---theresa on 8/19/08

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Unfortunately today there are a lot of nonChristians posing as Christians in churches, and when a soul goes to the sanctuary they experience offenses rather than ministering. And depending upon what kind of hurt it is: a verbal insult, a promise not kept, whether it was from a parishioner or from a minister, etc., sometimes the hurt done can be healed, and sometimes you have to leave that church in order to become healed.
---Eloy on 8/18/08

The first admonition is to go to that person, and help them to understand that you are in fact hurt, by something that they said or did. Hopefully this will resolve the issue, if not, the bible states to take the matter to the church, in my opinion, this would be the pastor first. Also, Jesus teachs us to walk in forgiveness, so, to extend forgiveness to someone that has hurt you, is to follow the teachings of Christ.
---gayla on 8/17/08

I have learned that God is the discerner of hearts. I have also learned that if a person intends to hurt me, God is much more capable of taking care of the situation than me. Many times in the past I felt that I had to DO SOMETHING, and it usually turned out mediocre.

You will be tried- the Lord tries the righteous. Ask the Lord Jesus what you should do, and then look for the answer in the Word. His word is true and does not lie. There are many false teachers out there who can lead you the wrong way. You have a direct connection to the Lord, use it in faith.

---Angie on 8/15/08

I think the issue should be discussed with the person who hurt you. It may have been unintentional. They may be willing to apologize and to correct the wrong. If not give it to God,forgive the person and move on.This is a difficult thing to do but we must forgive in order for our Father to forgive us. I have been wounded in the church. I refused to leave the church. I gave it to the Lord. I did not discuss the issue with the person. Prayer is very powerful, also. God will make the crooked places straight.And right every wrong. You can count on it.
---Robyn on 7/5/08

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forgive us our sins as we forgive those who sin against us. Should we not follow this
---wayne on 7/1/08

If they Hurt you Physically,turn them in to the Police.

If they Hurt you Mentally,Pray for them and keep your Distance.

Anger & Resentments?? Get these Boulders out of your Path which leads to Christ.
---Gabby on 7/1/08

Emcee and Caring, you two are the same in too many ways. You can't fool God. John P is correct.
---Linda on 6/5/08

JP::Confronting is what the bible suggests as a first step,it depends on the attitude with which you confront. Meekness and mildness will produce the same result Caring is a gentleman and knows the difference of confrontational issues.a civil tongue gets a civil answer.
---Emcee on 6/3/08

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Caring, with all due respect, if a person were to take your advice, it would lead to a fight. Your operating purely in the flesh. Go and read the Gospels and learn what Jesus said to do. I don't condem you Caring, but you need to be transformed by God's Holy Spirit. You need to get saved. When and if you do, you will never be the same. You will have a peace that surpasses all understanding, and you will know it.
---John_P on 6/3/08

Why make a distinction between being hurt by someone at work, in the check-out line, or in the church?

If you are hurt, of course it is right to forgive. It is also right to let the person know, in a kind way, that they have offended you. How else would they know? If you don't tell them, they may hurt someone else unintentionally.

BTW, this question really helped me, because I have been deeply hurt recently, and struggled with weather or not to tell the person. Thank you!
---deb on 5/27/08

I understand your feeling betrayed and needing encouragement. You also may feel anger and a sense of loss as how to pray at this point. I would recommend a fast to put down the flesh and seek how God would have you approach this situation.
---Emily on 5/26/08

First, if you feel someone has hurt you through words or deeds, go to that person directly, in a spirit of love and tell them how you feel and why. People say and do things that come across in a manner they never intended. If the hurt was intentional, just tell them you forgive them, and that you will pray for them. It is said that if you continually pray for one who has hurt you, eventually, you will forgive and actually pray in sincerity for God to forgive them and direct them in his ways.
---Dan on 5/24/08

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Plan A: Turn the other cheek and forgive them.(Biblical) Plan B: Get your pastor/priest to mediate and meet together. Discuss what's bothering you and work it out. Then read Matthew 6:14-15 again and again and again.
---Danosaur on 5/24/08

I've been in Church Hurt a umber of times. Really wanted to get back at them or talk about them to others. But the Lord touched the cords of my heart and told me "Forgive them and PRAY for them." Hard to do when u are hurt by them.
---._Elaine on 5/24/08

Caring, the answer is in the Bible. Read the Gospels.
---Jim on 5/23/08

By confronting the person, you'd know what his or her beef is all about. If he's wrong you correct him and if you are wrong you have a chance to correct yourself.

What's so unchristian about it?
---Caring on 5/23/08

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Caring, that is exactly what Jesus taught against. The world thinks that way. Apparently you don't live up to your name. You need a spiritual awakening through God's son, Jesus.
---Carl on 5/23/08

I'd cry out to God and let him know how I feel, then I'd move on after I had my crying spell. Life is too short for a person to wear their heart on their sleeves.
---Rebecca_D on 5/22/08

If someone hurt you, then confront them and demand the reason why they did what they did. Posted by caring on: 5/16/08

Obviously you don't live up to your name. That's not using wisdom at all, and I seriously doubt that you are a born again believer. What you wrote is what a person of the world would say.

There's a much better way of avoiding a knock out confrontation like that. What would Jesus say about this?
---Jay on 5/20/08

Pray for them and then forgive them, and while doing so may you should go to that person that hurt your feels and asked them why maybe they didn't realize they hurt you. And then again forgive them and let God deal with them, if it continues you may have to go and talk to then Pastor and let him know whats going on, but go to God in pray first and then to the one that hurt you.
---Ann on 5/16/08

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If someone hurt you, then confront them and demand the reason why they did what they did.
---Caring on 5/16/08

Isa 54:17
No weapon that is formed against thee shall prosper, and every tongue [that] shall rise against thee in judgment thou shalt condemn. This [is] the heritage of the servants of the LORD, and their righteousness [is] of me, saith the LORD.
---Carla5754 on 5/16/08

Much is brought on entirely by self. Giving as good as you are getting. Hurting others, blurting out whatever is on your mind, telling them off and going to great lengths to get even. It has a way of landing back on your own doorstep. When we quit offending others we are no longer offended, even the small things no longer bother us.
---jpmiller on 5/16/08

Before you take any action>>>You wait: "kill the flesh you will do". In a little time God may tell you to confront. If not, then you must get over it.
---catherine on 5/16/08

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You hold the power of choice, you can be hurt, or you can not be hurt, you choose. If a person is intent on trying to hurt you, I think they have an issue that needs to be prayed for. They are really asking for help. I have no concern for myself, as to what others may try to do to me. God says that He will protect me even if my very life is threatened.
---dan on 5/15/08

Gina, first I want to show you compassion and empathy for being hurt. We are still human beings and haven't arrived yet, so some advice here is harsh. I go to the person, discussed what they did that hurt me, and I told them I forgive them. Some said they were sorry, some didn't. The ones who didn't, I prayed for and worked it out with Father God. Let God heal you. If you can't be around that person, that's fine too, just pray and tell God how you hurt and how you need Him to heal you.
---donna8365 on 5/15/08


Sometimes it's not easy to be able to handle hurt as other christians do, and without experience and the right guidance one can really be hurt to the point of confusion and I don't mean that in a derogotory fashion but to acknowledge that we can measure that person up to the word and not find an example that can help us understand and work out what to do.
---Carla5754 on 5/15/08


Yes the word say's all thoses things people have quoted but hurt hits deep and comes without a journal. Let the Holy Spirit speak to your heart about this one and speak back to him. It's hard not to tell someone else incase it prejudices the other person, so keep speaking to God about it and he will show you the way through patience and the word.
---Carla5754 on 5/15/08

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You may not see a way out now but eventually you will, and funny enough you'll even somehow be able to see the funny side of it as well as the Spiritual side that often we tend to ignore since we're dealing with unresolved hurt. God will help you with any emotions you have just keep talking to him, talk to him until your satisfied you can move on. Then you'll be able to deal with it prophetically.
---Carla5754 on 5/15/08

"Great peace have they which love the law: and nothing shall offend them." Ps.119:165.
Perhaps this hurtful person has a problem you're not aware of. For YOUR peace, and to exibit love you must forgive them who hurt you.
---NVBarbara on 5/15/08

Hopefully, When you say the Lords Prayer you mean it, when you say Forgive Me MY trespasses AS I Forgive others theirs!
---Duane_Dudley_Martin on 5/14/08

If you don't forgive, forgive others their debts, trespasses, God will not forgive us.
If you hang on to every offense that happens in church, eventually you will find yourself sitting home, eating worms.
---Chipper on 5/14/08

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I have been saved since 1982. Been hurt by many people in the church. GET OVER IT!

With that said, forgive them, love them and yes, pray for them. You may become great friends over time, even though it seems impossible now.

Someone please look this up but, there is a scripture that says basically that someone with the Holy Spirit is not easily offended. We live in a society where the toughest people are easily offended. That's not true toughness.
---John on 5/14/08

Hi, Gina . . . I hope you stay with us a while. We do have people who can hurt others, though. But we have the real Christians, here, too. So, it is worth it to bear the ones who can hurt, in order to be with our brothers and sisters. In your church, I would say it is the same way. Know who the brothers and sisters are, and benefit from how God blesses you through them. With His good, there is always the trial.
---Bill_bila5659 on 5/14/08

Hi Gina,
Matthew 18:15-17 is in order. Hopefully the situation can be resolved in step 1 and the relationship can be restored without outside assistance. If not steps 2 and 3 may be executed. However, even if the relationship cannot be restored and you distance yourself from the person forgiveness is still in order. Matthew 18:21ff.
---pg1 on 5/14/08

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