My Husband Will Not Work
I know what the bible says about men who do not work-provide for their family, but not sure what scripture says about the spouse and what they are to do in that situation. My husband does not work or is willing to work. He has reversed our roles in our household, not by my choice but by his acitons.
Join Our Free Chat and Take The Financial Bible Quiz
---miche4754 on 5/27/08
Helpful Blog Vote (29)
|
|
After being on a job for 19 years I was laid off in 2003. It took one year of searching before I found another job. With so many people losing their jobs, things are much worse for people now who are looking for than it was back then. |
|
---Rob on 10/26/09 |
Allyson we are praying for you. I've been without full-time work for months but I've sent out hundreds of resumes and am working three part-time jobs including lawns, so I don't have much sympathy for your hubby. Still what we need is a solution.
1. make sure you don't go to bed without praying TOGETHER. If he won't initiate prayer start praying out loud from your pillow. I know of NO couples who are praying together and moving apart or further from the Lord period.
2. Prayer is agreement with God and if your hubby's conscience has not been seared he will be moved to action.
3. Don't first ask God for a job for your husband, ask him instead to "provide" for he is a God of provision. |
|
---larry_original on 10/26/09 |
My husband was laid off last Dec. - that's almost a yr. ago. His excuse for not looking very hard is anything & everything. Ohio does have a 16% unemployment rate...but I say: Bible states a man who doesn't provide for his family is as an infidel and unbeliever in God's eyes. Also, he could look at it differently, 16% UNemployment is 84% EMPLOYMENT! This man goes to church every week...yet doesn't mind letting me bear the financial burdens, barely helps out at home AND let his mom write ME a letter on how I don't save money!! I'm so wanting to call it quits. The ONLY reason I haven't is I don't want to give him more excuses to be a quitter - this time with church. |
|
---Allyson on 10/26/09 |
If its a financial burden, then he should work, and he should want to take care of his family reagardless. Through prayer, you will know what to do. I think if its not a joint effort, its time for you to move on! |
|
---marca on 10/14/09 |
Read These Insightful Articles About Insurance
|
I knew i was not alone, My husband wont work, clean or cook...I come home from work trying to feed kids and he is upset cause im too tired to please him...I have no help at all and i feel like he is of no use to me or the children, it pains me to get up every morning to go to work and he sleeps late and eat all day. He says that he cant find work, Im trying to figure out just when do he look for work...I try telling him Its a sin to be lazy, and a man suppose to work to the sweat of his eyebrows. Still nothing works...at least not him. |
|
---Sabrena on 10/14/09 |
2Corinthians 8:21, 1Timothy 5:8.
God tells us to correct a brother who sins *1, and a Christian has to be able to receive discipline from the Lord *2: either through his word *3, or through correction brought by other Christians *4.
p.s. Wife, 1Corinthians 11:3-10, 13, 15-16, 14:34-35, Ephesians 5:22-24, 33, Colossians 3:18, 1Timothy 2:11-14, Titus 2:5, 1Peter 3:1-2, 5-6 / Husband, 1Corinthians 7:33, Ephesians 5:25-29, 31, 33, Colossians 3:19, 1Timothy 5:8, 1Peter 3:7.
*1 2Thesalonians 3:6, 2John 1:9-11.
*2 Proverbs 3:11-12 / Hebrews 12:5-11, 1Corinthians 11:31-32 , Revelations 3:19.
*3Hebrews 4:12, 2Timothy 3:16-17.
*4 1Corinthians 2:15, 5:3, 11-13, 6:4, 11:31. |
|
---Glenn on 8/15/09 |
Then,
don't feed him a man who will not work should not eat!
Having said that my dear mother fed washed his clothes and provided a roof over my dad's head she wasn't christian then after 27 years eventually when the violence and women got too bad she kicked him to the kerb! (divorced him) |
|
---Carla3939 on 8/12/09 |
My husband has been unemployed for 1 1/2 years straight. He has not worked or has been under-employed for 8 years. He has taken our equity line of credit that I was saving for an emergency (collapsed sewer, etc.) and used it for another of his (many)failed business schemes. He sometimes will make a little cash to keep himself in gas, movies, new t-shirts, etc. doing odd jobs, preaching at programs.I pay all of the bills. My older son (33 yrs.) is disabled. He chips in which is a blessing. |
|
---nara on 8/11/09 |
| Read These Insightful Articles About Holidays
|
How about those men (women too) who marry, hang around for awhile, clean the womans bank account, dissapear and do the same elsewhere? Suppose he did this 3 times. Whose husband is he that that woman should wait for him? Should they all wait for him to return? Should they all remain celibate? Is it a sin to move on, rebuild a ruined life and start again?
Well, whosoever is not a sinner please keep on talking and advising. |
|
---Nana on 5/14/09 |
Only unbelievers can get divorced for being dissatisfied with marriage, unless believers spouse commits adultery. If you can not be celibate once divorced then you should stay married. (1Cor 7-8-9) You might ask what am I suppose to do with my spouse. You must surrender him to God and model Christ through your actions. (1 Cor 7:14) (John 17:19) I discovered the only way that things could be changed in my family was to read, mediate and live the Word of God. Fireproof is a great movie that captures the concept. Peter Pan Syndromme and Wendi Dilemma captures this relationship. |
|
---Rose on 5/13/09 |
Thank goodness there is someone out there like me. I am struggling with the same situation. I do not know what to do. I have two children in college to support. Our money is stretched to thin. I do not think he wants to work at all. |
|
---Susan on 5/5/09 |
Everyone belongs to God. That is why it is wrong to sell yourself to the devil. First, God made us, so he owns us. Second, he bought us back from the devil through Jesus Christ His only Son. He owns us twice over. If we are disobedient, we will choose our own destination in the Lake of Fire. The warnings have been given. There is no excuse. Be sanctified and stay faithful to God. |
|
---frances008 on 5/1/09 |
If you do not belong to God, you do not have to please God or go with the word of God. There are two sets of people in this world. Those who are saved and those who are lost. Unbelievers do not know what is right. And believers knows but don't always do what is right. However, believers do have the living God to guide them into everlasting truth. |
|
---catherine on 4/30/09 |
Who ARE these holier than thou people who talk down to someone in need?! My gosh people, lighten up and get a heart. This woman came here looking for help, not your ATTITUDE. This guy is a lame oaf, who needs to get a grip . . . AND a job. I love the "starve 'em out" suggestion, although frankly when it gets to this point, then you end up feeling disgusted no matter what. Ugh, what a choice! |
|
---Beth on 4/30/09 |
My dad had the same problem, but my mom did not work either because she had 4 kids to take care of. When it came time that the power, water, and gas bills were so late that they were going to be cut off, and the food was running out (she had stored lots of dryed goods) the church we were attending wanted to step in and pay the bills. She would not allow them to do this, and all utilities were cut off. She also locked up and hid all the food, and would only let the kids eat. It only took a few days of this and he had a job, and kept a job all the way to retirement. "If you don't work you don't eat." |
|
---chris on 3/28/09 |
I am in the same position and I have been for 20 years, I have finally decided to leave. I refuse to pay all of these bills by myself any longer, so by default a seperation will take place. I have searched the scriptures and I just don't have an answer. The bible says that for the hardness of their hearts he allowed for a divorce. I have no respect for him, nor can I pretend. He does not care, the many evictions that me and kids have faced, ment nothting to him. If you get an answer please let me know. I have stayd because I thought it was Biblical, but there is nothing Godly about staying in a marriage full of bitterness, and strife. |
|
---Renee on 11/8/08 |
I, too, have the same problem. He is able bodied but just too lazy to work. He does not even help around the house although in his mind he thinks he does a lot. I need some guidance because I do not think a wife should suffer like this for years. It has been three years since he quit his job. And he claims to be a Christian. |
|
---holly on 10/24/08 |
You really put no conditions on the original statement starting this blog. Is this man not LOOKING for work, or is there no SUITABLE work available? When I was laid off from an engineering position in the automotive industry, with 2 BS degrees and a 1/2 a MS degree, it took several years to get going again. Along the way? A meddling mother who FORCED me to take temp labor jobs with illegal immigrants at $8 an hour with no benefits. (Not a living wage.) When I refused those, she had me forcibly medicated for "depression". While working those sub standard jobs, I was forced to turn down many interview offers. Now? Am working in another state for 8 times her "wage" and have no mental health issues. |
|
---obewan on 6/30/08 |
Are you walking close enough to God sos He can help you? If the answer is no, you had better. |
|
---catherine on 6/30/08 |
There isn't anything inherently wrong with a man not working, if there's a viable reason for it--poor health, attending school, lack of employment in the area, etc.
As for supporting a household, the virtuous woman (the one whose worth was more than rubies) in the Bible supported her household, so that her husband had time to consult with the elders of the town. So there is Biblical support of women being the bread earners of the family.
If your husband's lack of working is causing financial problems, then you have a real problem that must be addressed. But house-husbandry is a viable alternative to a "traditional" family structure, and is a perfectly honorable way of organizing a household. |
|
---Nancy on 6/30/08 |
| Read These Insightful Articles About Tips
|
kumquat
This may be the Scripture the lady is refering to:
1 Timothy 5:8: "But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel." |
|
---Nana on 6/3/08 |
" I know what the bible says about men who do not work-provide for their family,"
Can you give book, chapter, and verse for this?
According to the Bible, BOTH were supposed to help provide for their family.
It's entirely possible that your husband might be suffering from clinical depression or some other PHYSCIAL ailment. It wouldn't hurt to check him out medically.
And in case you haven't heard, this is not the easiest economic enviornment for the unemployed. |
|
---kumquat on 5/31/08 |
Just as I've said before 9 times out of 10 what a person does during dating is what they do in marriage. You have to look at a person's family believe it or not and that gives you answers to a lot of questions. |
|
---Senya on 5/28/08 |
Miche....It appears that had you talked to your husband before making this post, you would not have had to post it. Communication is one of the top priorities in a marriage. It runs a close second to Committment. Talk to your husband, not everybody else. God Bless! I'll be praying for your family. |
|
---KarenD on 5/28/08 |
Your husband is in the wrong. Your husband is responsible for you. Seek God, and He will help you. |
|
---catherine on 5/28/08 |
Thanks for everyone's advice. Good news...we have talked. I have mentioned to see our pastor for counsel. He said that he appreciated my attitude towards him (God can change us from the inside out). He has seen the light of his fault and will do what's right for our family! I appreciate your prayers. |
|
---miche4754 on 5/28/08 |
Dearest,This website welcomes these kinds of questions through their PenPal agenda.However, use much discretion. This post should be used only to answer questions concerning God and the Bible...Personal stuff is just that.Personal...Let me recommend taking it only to God and a very good best friend and then keep the words and information limited.
Words are Power.We don't need to give our words away unless it concerns the Word of God.And the Word of God is God's Word that changes lives. |
|
---Elisabeth on 5/28/08 |
You poor dear. My first advice would be not to blog about controversial subjects, then your name won't be used to write up these types of embarrassing questions.
I'm glad my husband doesn't need to work, and my children are all in their right minds, no one has run away from home, including me, the wife. |
|
---Marcia on 5/28/08 |
Dear Michelle
My advice would be first to talk to your husband, try to find out why he does not want to work, then talk to your Pastor he/she may have some suggestions, try to find out if there is some psychological problem your husband is having, did he get good performance reviews on his previous jobs, maybe he needs to be motivated, there could be many reasons he refuses to work and has decided to change roles. |
|
---Karen on 5/28/08 |
2. I realise that we all have different opinions about some things but there is much inconsistency in individuals. Forgive me if I'm wrong Rebecca, but I think you are one of the bloggers who has mentioned being submissive on a few occasions of, just maybe, I'm confusing you with someone else. |
|
---RitaH on 5/28/08 |
I find it strange that, on so many occasions, we are told here that (no matter what the circumstances) wives are to obey their husbands or be in submission to them etc. Then we get an answer to a question like this saying "Don't feed him." and another "If he wants to be childish, then treat him like a child. Give him $5.00 a week or $10.00 every two weeks. If he wants more money, make him earn it." We get a lot of contradictions here. |
|
---RitaH on 5/28/08 |
I suggest you seek marital therapy and find out if there is some underlying problem that is causing your husband's unwillingness to work, for example could he be suffering from depression or some other issue that is keeping him from seeking employment? |
|
---Trish9863 on 5/27/08 |
Miche4754. if your husband is able to work, but will not work, the answer is very simple and is found in 2 Thessalonians 3:10. |
|
---Rob on 5/27/08 |
Miche: I'd make him work. It is okay for one to be lazy at times, but not all day long. If this is his choice, and he is able to work and doesn't help around the house or help with kids (if have any). Then I would give him an allowance. The money you earn should go to the bills, groceries and keep the rest. If he wants to be childish, then treat him like a child. Give him $5.00 a week or $10.00 every two weeks. If he wants more money, make him earn it. Bottom line, you don't work, you don't eat. |
|
---Rebecca_D on 5/27/08 |
Don't feed him, :-) I'm praying for you both. |
|
---deb on 5/27/08 |
|
|
|
