Divorce My Lazy Husband
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I just want to point out that the Word says that wives should honor and submit to their own husbands and husbands should love their wives as Christ loves the church. It does not say to do these things only if they do what they are supposed to do or if they live just right. It is our responsibility to do our own part irregardless of the obedience of the other! Now, be aware, I am not advocating laziness nor any mistreatment of either spouse by the other, but we are responsible for our actions and our part of the marriage and I firmly believe if we let peace lead us and the Holy Ghost show us truth, it will be a blessing and a witness to all those of the love of God in our lives. |
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---Jim on 10/31/09 |
When two people marry and become one it is under the assumption that they will love, honor and cherish eachother. Loving and honoring is to provide for eachother. Many times a man or woman may think that it is beneath them to work at a certain pay or do a certain type of work to provide for their own living expenses or to contribute to the upkeep of their family. This is pride. Pride is a sin. If your partner did not understand that they would be obligated under the bonds of matrimony to provide for themselves, their partner or their offspring, then they did not fully understand what marriage is. |
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---fran on 10/31/09 |
Pray for strentgh and the wisdom to see that all things work together for your good. I know this is no easy task but through it all when someone comes to visit do you think their going to say oh that lazy husband of yours..... Oh no! they'll say the Poor Man has been out at work all day and look how his wife keeps the house.
It takes a lot but you can do it and No I don't agree that your boys don't help. You are the teacher teach them to be good husbands by respecting where your coming from You'll soon enjoy having a clean home and a good working patrnership with the boys
Work together teachs your boys how to be good husbands working with their wives. |
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---Carla3939 on 2/8/09 |
I just want to say that, I have a lazy husband also, but he has a job. He just will not help around the house. I have 2 boys, and his main line is ( Make the boys clean it). But why should they have to clean it, they didn't mess it up. Lord, I tell you, sometimes I don't know weather I'm going or coming. Now he has been off work for four days now, and haven't done anything around the house, just lying in bed as usual. I just got a day off today and there is this big house that I have to clean by my self. No, I'm not going to ask or even make the boys help me because it isn't their mess. Jesus, help me. Tell me which way to go. Should I divorce a lazy husband or pray for better? |
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---Melissa on 1/12/09 |
You do not have to suffer. Believe me.
Try this one on for size. Married for 18 1/2 years, two sets of twins. I have made more money every year I have worked. Which has been 15 of the 18 years. He has
walked out on 4 jobs during out marriage....
One he waited 4 days to tell me. Then to find out he was emailing some girl that we
both know. When i confronted him, he said he would not do it again. That lasted a whole two weeks. He has a job right now
making 6.55 an hour.
He left the bed 11 years ago cause it hurt his back. And has never returned. (I have
had 3 mattresses since then).
Do I have to put up with this.... NO. |
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---Theresa on 1/5/09 |
Matt, 5:32. Put it in the Hands of G-D, and have faith! |
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---Aharon on 11/19/08 |
Although we are both Christians, we are apart. Seek the Lord. That's all we have at this point.
---elle on 11/18/08
For the eyes of the Lord are over the righteous, and his ears are open unto their prayers: but the face of the Lord is against them that do evil.
1 Peter 3:11-13
For what knowest thou, O wife, whether thou shalt save thy husband? or how knowest thou, O man, whether thou shalt save thy wife?
1 Corinthians 7:15-17
My prayer is with you guys. For what its worth. Hang in there....who knows the end time. |
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---Trav on 11/19/08 |
I understand your plight. My husband and I both struggle. Although we love each other very much. He has a hard time finding a job so therefore, he's discouraged as to going out and getting one (felonies) so. I struggle with supporting everything. We are currently separated due to assorted issues. Although we are both Christians, we are apart. Seek the Lord. That's all we have at this point. |
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---elle on 11/18/08 |
I agree with bridg4675. I too have a lazy husband who is in his way out. I am sending him back to his MOM. God says that those who don't want to work should not eat neither and those who don't provide for the family are like those who have denied the faith. So I don't want to continue being marry to a lazy and unfailful man to me and God. |
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---Elisabeth on 11/18/08 |
was it an arranged marriage?did you nag him
to marry you,or did he propose? does he
provide any emotional support to you?
does he defend your honor?there are more ways to provide than just material goods! |
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---kevin on 10/19/08 |
How was he before you married him? Was he always out of work? Did you have to pay for the expenses when you were dating? When was his last COMPLETE physical? You may have a man who was unprepared to be a husband, but you are stuck with him, based on what the Bible teaches about divorce. What you should do now is evaluate what you can do to improve the situation, not run from it. See a good Christian marriage counselor, (usually not a well-meaning pastor or friend). If he won't go, you go by yourself. |
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---wivv on 10/3/08 |
My interpretation of 'better or worse' is better or worse that life gives you..the worse including sickness, financial crisis and the like. Not what your partner decides to throw at you.
Think about it - where will you be in 5 years - same situation perhaps worse. |
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---Audrey on 9/26/08 |
The Biblical answers to how you should handle your husband is to be a Christian witness to him. That includes cooking for him instead of withholding meals to get back at him. The old saying, "I don't get mad, I get even" is not Christian. |
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---SusieB on 9/5/08 |
Unless there are health issues which prevent your husband working - and I think you would have said if that were so - then he needs a wake=up call.
Divorce, scripturally, is only allowed for adultery, but you could try leaving him for a time to see how he fends for himself. This will only be an option if you have somewhere to go of course and any children would have to be cared for by you, because it doesn't sound as it he would be able to do that.
I don't envy your position. |
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---RitaH on 9/5/08 |
Adultery is the only Biblical grounds for divorce however I agree with Char that I would stop making him dinner. If there are no mental or physical reasons for his laziness then I would suggest a little tough love. Don't fight or argue because that just drains your spirit however I would start reducing the things that you do for him. Set boundaries by taking care of your needs and building a life for yourself. You can't change his actions, you can only change your response to them. Pray for him and take care of yourself. |
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---TIMOTHY on 9/4/08 |
Pray for your husband for God is able to make him the man that you want him to be. It could be your husband has depression. It would break him if you left him. He needs help not divorce. |
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---caroa9397 on 9/4/08 |
Read These Insightful Articles About Mortgages
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Your obligation is to love your husband. |
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---john on 9/3/08 |
Well, the Bible says If a man does not work, he should not eat. Just tell him you won't feed him until he gets a job. |
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---char on 9/2/08 |
Regardless of whether your husband is lazy or is a work-aholic, IF you made your wedding vows to the Lord, then you have to answer to HIM when you break them. |
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---SusieB on 9/2/08 |
This is a tough situation, but you are called to honor your vows save for one exception - infidelity - so yes you are expected by God to honor your husband, pray for him, encourage him, and love him, even when he is unlovable. The bible says to "love the one you marry, not marry the one you love" this to imply that God recognized we wouldn't always be happy and blissfully in love, but we are to choose love even when we don't want to. We are called to love the unlovable in all situations. |
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---Pam on 9/2/08 |
No Do Not listen to comments like that divorce is NOT the end of your sorrows consequences of the Divorce is worse.
If you love the lord and like to bring others to Christ how will you witness effectively if you do not operate love towards your husband.
longsuffering is a Fruit of the Spirit and endurance produces patients and with patience comes Peace.
Do what Christ would do love the sinner do good in exchange for evil, the rewards are greater than the quick fix.
The grass you thought was greener on the other side is the same old grass been used by the stray cats and dogs cleaned up mowed down and puckered up to look just perfect just as your own grass.(husband)so why exchange him! |
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---Carla3939 on 9/1/08 |
SEND HIM HOME TO HIS MOM OR WHEREVER YOU PICKED HIM UP FROM AND FILE FOR A DIVORCE. I DONT SEE HOW YOU CAN STAND TO SLEEP WITH HIM LET ALONE BE WITH HIM. HOW COULD HE POSSIBLY FEEL LIKE A MAN AND HE DOESNT HAVE A JOB OR WONT HOLD ON TO ONE. FILE FOR A DIVORCE HONEY NO ONE WILL HOLD IT AGAINST YOU. NOT EVEN GOD. IN THE BIBLE IT STATES THAT A PERSON IS TO PROVIDE FOR THEIR FAMILY. AFTER ALL WHAT DO YOU HAVE TO LOSE. IF ANYTHING YOU HAVE EVERYTHING TO GAIN. |
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---bridg4675 on 9/1/08 |
Maybe you should quit looking at yourself as a victim. You are in the midst of a trial that you can win. "1Co 10:13 You are tempted in the same way that everyone else is tempted. But God can be trusted not to let you be tempted too much, and he will show you how to escape from your trials. " |
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---john on 9/1/08 |
You are to provide in marriage also. "Yes, I promise to take this man to be my lawfully wedded husband...for better OR FOR WORSE, in sickness and in health, till death do you part." |
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---Eloy on 9/1/08 |
**Should I have to suffer because he was unprepared to be a husband?
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You seem to think he was unprepared to be a husband. So why did you marry him?
I wonder--how would HE answer if asked if you were prepared to be a wife?
HMMMMMMMM???? |
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---katavasia on 8/31/08 |
Could your husband suffer from depression, or a mental illness that prevents him from being able to hold down a job? I suggest you get him to a doctor for a complete physical, and then to a marital therapist to discuss this problem with a professional who can help you both learn what is going on with him.
What is preventing you from working? The Proverbs 31 woman provided for her home as a business woman who dealt in real estate and other dealings. I have worked full time for over 20 years. My daughter is married, and has been working and helping to provide for her family since the day she got married. In fact, all of the women in my family, and my daughter's sisters-in-law all work full time, except the retired grandmothers. |
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---Trish9863 on 8/30/08 |
Why do you really want a divorce? |
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---SusieB on 8/30/08 |
Yes it is wrong to divorice him. My question to you is why did you marry him if you knew he couldn't provide for you, to begin with? If you went into the marriage thinking you could change him than that was your mistake. |
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---Ann on 8/30/08 |
Yes you are wrong to want a divorce. Now in todays society they have adopted many worldly reason that are acceptable to man. Though to God is not acceptable. If your husband cheats or beats on you. You may ask for a divorce but you may not remarry.
Romans 7:2 says if your husband dies you are released from the marriage and can remarry and not be a adulteress.
1 Cor. 7:27 says if you are married do not seek a divorce.
There has been times I wanted to leave my husband too. But pray about it. Let the Lord handle it, it will be ok. Phil 4:13 All things are possible through Christ who strengthens me.
He can do anything, yes even fix your troubles with your husband IF you allow him and not tell him how to do it. |
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---dayce on 8/30/08 |
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