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Courted By Two Men

If a single Christian woman is being courted by two men, what is the proper way to handle the situation? Both seem sincere and I still cannot decide for one, should I go ahead and tell them both about each other?

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 ---MarieG on 9/9/08
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First off everyone. the question is should each be told about the other, who is doing the courting. I say yes. Each gentleman should know about the other. Perhaps neither has any commitment intentions at all and the lady should know about that then she would not be confused should either one declare they are "only friends". Secondly, why is every one on the attack against the woman who has two men interested in her? Back to the 'harem'? Really. This is perfectly normal and most of what I have read insists something is morally wrong about companionship & that it is solely the responsibility of the female.
---Pamela on 10/1/08


The difference of Courting and dating IMHO is:- In dating there is a bond of friendship with a desire to enquire,for the availibility of a union.Courting is the consent give and is established and both Parties are on the way to the altar,the pledge has been established by the use of an engagement Ring.I think this is on the lines by Miss Holly,whom I consider very correct.
---MIC on 9/11/08


Hopefully, Marie will come back to this discussion and fill us in. Since she uses the word "court" it may be that she is older and not very experienced in dating. Maybe she is just back into the dating pool. Either way, she needs to be honest with whomever she dates.
---SusieB on 9/11/08


Courting is NOT just dating, dating is dating and you can date many at the same time. Courting in the Christian manner is dating someone with the intention of marriage. You do not court them unless you have intentions of marrying and you would not court many people at once, because there is an exclusivity commitment there. It is for the express purpose of moving in the direction of marriage. If this girl is truly being "courted" by two men...then she has led them both to believe that she would marry them. If she is just dating them without commitment, then she's not cheating on either since they are only dating. But..as I stated before...God would not have 2 men "court" the same girl at once. Where is God in all this?
---Holly4jc on 9/11/08


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As a Christian you know better than to cheat on your boyfriend/spouse...don't have respect for either one of these men, let alone yourself.
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if one is TRULY a Christian they are not having sexual relations outside of marriage which is "cheating" so a true Christian cannot "cheat" on a boyfriend

courting is date ...she wrote men were COURTING her not men were her "boyfriends" ...courting NOTHING to do with sexual intimacy or making hasty decisions of an exclusive boyfriend/girlfriend precommitment relationship ...its a term used to describe DATING ...looking foolish telling this women she has no respect even more foolish telling her she's a sinner
---Rhonda on 9/10/08




As a Christian you know better than to cheat on your boyfriend/spouse. Heck even a sinner knows that. You don't have respect for either one of these men, let alone yourself. Of course you should tell them both. Yes you take a chance on neither one of them talking to you, but then again they will fight for your affection. Make a list for both men, list both the positive and the negative things about them, then weight it out that way. Who knows God may not want you to be with either one of these two men.
---Rebecca_D on 9/10/08


I agree, you NEED to be honest alone with both and watch how they react, But IF you have to ask "which one is best?", then you're not ready to commit to either.
A wise friend told me..."Don't go shopping for a car until you know what you want to drive. ANY car will seem perfect when you drive it around the block, but will it fit in your plans (w/o manipulation) during the long haul? Every personality has it's own good and bad points but YOU must live with it from here on.
QUESTION...What has God called you to do for him? A certain "Ruth Bell" was downright certain that God wanted her to evangelize the people of China, instead she married a certain Billy Graham and enabled her husband to evangelize the world.
---timot8496 on 9/9/08


Has ANYONE in this threesome prayed to God to see what God's will is? Sheesh!!! No man should court ANY woman unless he has prayed and sought the Lord first to see IF this is God's will. Obviously, God would not tell 2 men at the same time to court the same woman. So....as I said before...where is God in all this? And why hasn't this woman prayed BEFORE allowing 2 men to court her at the same time? Is anyone truly a Christian here? Does anyone really want to have God's best choice for a mate in their life? I would suggest breaking it ALL off with everyone and let everyone pray and seek God and have others they trust who hear from God clearly also seek the Lord on their behalf.
---Holly4jc on 9/9/08


MarieG:-You do need to put all your cards on the table.Honesty is the best policy, and if You are wise you will have to ascertain if the contract is LIFE LONG binding.Both must be agreeable to stay the course,True love withstands ALL shocks. This contract cannot be dissolved in the eyes of God, except with Grave consequences.I sincerely wish you Happiness in your choice This above all to thine own self BE TRUE dont guess.BE sure One old saying I give you "Marry in Haste and repent at leisure."
---MIC on 9/9/08


It takes two to tango, Does it not take two to court?
You seem to be courting two men ... that surely is dishonest?

But maybe you mean something different when you say "courted". Perhaps you just mean there are two men paying you attention, and you don't know which to respond to? If that is the case, it probably means there is no "spark" with either of them, and you would be best to wait for someone else
---alan_of_UK on 9/9/08




The proper way for a Christian woman to handle this is to look deep inside herself and see why she is leading two men on like this. If you didn't tell them both that you were dating other people, then you are deceiving them. What it is that they both are sincere about? Are they both hoping to marry you?
---SusieB on 9/9/08


Well God does desire truth in the innermost being and the truth always prevails.

How serious are you with them? Do you like them both the same? Or do you like one deeper than the other?

Will one get mad if they find out you've been two-timing them? Wouldn't it seem fair if you were up front with them from the very beginning?
---donna8365 on 9/9/08


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