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Hurt By A Church

Have you ever been hurt by the "church" or "church members"?

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 ---Joseph on 10/6/08
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Don't let anyone keep you out of church. Go tothe person who hurt you and talk to them. My sisters excuse for not going was hypocrits there will always be hypocrits I'm every church. Maybe if they stay long enough they may get their hearts right and stay right where they are.
---shira4368 on 8/14/14


Lin "But boy did I change my tune when the pastor got verbally abusive with me & publicly accused me without ever talking with me first."

My whole family left a church when one particular member started spreading a lie about us and the leadership of the church would not intervene to correct matters. After we left that church a new lie was spread regarding WHY we had left.

Some people are not worthy of leadership positions but God is still in charge and will deal with them in His own way.
---Rita_H on 8/14/14


This is to Susie B and others like her who can't understand how someone can leave a church because of hurt. I used to feel the same way and was probably arrogant about it. I was proud that I didn't let things hurt me, even though I had seen some things myself. But boy did I change my tune when the pastor got verbally abusive with me & publicly accused me without ever talking with me first. After several things said I finally left after two decades. God said "wipe the dust off your feet"..and I left. Don't think it can't happen to you. I am much more compassionate now.
---Lin on 8/13/14


my son was hurt by 2 churches and it had nothing to do with him. he just saw how the pastor was treated because he wouldn't let certain ones run the church. I saw one pastor get physically ill and die after a church he put sweat and tears and 18 hrs a day and dedication get treated worse than an imagination can comprehend. I would not want to be in their shoes on judgement day.
---shira4368 on 2/26/13


"OF COURSE.

Haven't all?

I think all people get hurt by the church and by other christians.
---bike on 2/24/13"

Agree, but not only that, "i" have hurt the church and members also.
---Chria9396 on 2/24/13




OF COURSE.

Haven't all?

I think all people get hurt by the church and by other christians.
---bike on 2/24/13


Just wanted to add a postscript. Church hurt was a horrible experience but hopefully one I can now use to help others. A church should equip, love and encourage.If there are behaviours which are malicious and wrong allowed to proliferate and we have tried to be right in dealings with the perpetrators, it may be best to quietly leave. For others God may call them to stay and help change that congregation. I believe the Holy Spirit, if blocked , like water will take another course. I am now at a large city church where there is a number of people who are healing from church hurt. Finally I think its important to leave with love and prayers in your heart for renewal and a greater revelation of God for the people and church that has hurt you.
---Josephine_C on 2/23/13


Josephine,
All who have truly been called and sent of God as lambs among wolves have been mocked and ridiculed, defamed and suffered. Read about the apostles who were beaten, stoned, had trials of cruel mocking and such. Paul shared many of his trials and such.
Those who have it the easiest probably do so because they walk hand in hand with satan.
If you are truly called and ordained of God keep going and know that others before you shared the same discouragements. Many have been stopped along the way but many received the crown of life after their pilgrimage was over.
---Del on 6/24/11


Thanks folks. Was having a very depressed day yesterday, feeling sorry for myself. This morning God's mercies are new again. Designated ministry optiions at church difficult at the moment, questionable practices continue. However if we are real about doing God's will, we are in ministry wherever, all the time. Don't see it at the moment but there must be a purpose to all this. Praise God, He reigns.
---JosephineC on 6/23/11


JosephineC ~ God will restore the years the locust, cankerworm, caterpillar, palmerworm, and army has eaten.
---Linda on 6/23/11




JosephineC - Maybe the best way to get past the hurt is to start a new ministry. It sounds like you loved the ministry you were doing. In the Christian life only the warriors get attacked and you are a warrior. Only the people on the sideline of the Christian life are safe from attack because they are not fighting. However, you did say visible ministry, I do not know what you meant by this but visible ministries get attacked because you are on the front line. Get back on the horse with your ministries. What did God teach you through this? What can you apply to your next ministry?
---Scott on 6/23/11


Everyone has basically told me to just get over it, even my husband. I still don't know how to. Not one person stuck up for me. I don't want revenge, or even anything to happen, I just wish that someone could have seen I was hurting.
---JosephineC on 6/22/11


\\Cluny- Questioning of our pastors is expressed in Acts "False Shephards".\\

No, it isn't.

Christ is risen!
---Cluny on 5/15/11


"Moving on" doesn't mean "giving up". It means accepting the fact that you have lost a battle and going on to fight the war elsewhere. When you are wounded and bitter, you are no longer an effective warrior in that situation, anyway.

Leave it in God's hands and move on. Find someplace else to serve the Lord while you heal.

cjmybad-- Sometimes God's deliverance doesn't come until you remove yourself physically and psychologically from the situation. You can't put it behind you until you do. You may give up on those who hurt you. Just don't give up on Jesus. He has more and better things for you.
---Donna66 on 5/15/11


Cluny- Questioning of our pastors is expressed in Acts "False Shephards". As a former Elder and head of the education committee at the WELS my duties to my fellow Christians to not only "obey them and rule you over (pastors AND elders)" but secure that teachings were from God not Mans' commands. Errorism refers to various continual acts of errors made. If by one raised as a Christian the term is Persistent Errorist. If you require further reading on Persistent Errorist try and find an article written by Pastor Bert Naumann of the CLC in 2005 or thereabouts. His description is dead on as I was taught in religion class. You shall destroy those who speak falsehood, The Lord abhors the bloodthirsty and deceitful man (Psalm 5:6)
---john8535 on 5/14/11


John, when you have exhausted all you can do, what else can you do? Here is where our faith takes over. Our dependence upon God. It is not that you are weak for not continuing, but strong because you put things before God. Lets say you have a son who is disobedient all the time who is over 18 years old, and you have tried all you could to stop him, and nothing works, what else can you do? You cannot make him see what you see, feel what you feel, or make him love you. We do not have that power, only God has that power. We have to realize that some point we cannot change them and turn them over to God. That is why I answered, Peace to you.
---Mark_V. on 5/14/11


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Donna thank you for your encouragement. To those hurting,may God give you peace.Forgiveness is a huge issue, but remember it does not validate wrong behaviour. God sees your pain. Read the word, pray, concentrate on Him and His nature and character. His love will encourage you. God bless.
---JosephineC on 5/14/11


\\The Bible states we are to question our spiritual leaders\\

Where does the Bible say this?

Give BCV, please.

And what are "errorisms"?

Christ is risen!
---Cluny on 5/13/11


Thanks for your comments and hopefully my reply from yesterday that was not posted will not show up confusing the order of this blog. But with all the comments to "move on" and such a singular question arises- "When do we as Christians abandon our efforts on earth and give up?(On church bodies and people)Would Jesus have stopped His efforts? Does God spiritually move some of us to "fight the good fight" until we are exhausted or is "moving on" an excuse not to follow through with Gods' leadership?
---john8535 on 5/13/11


John, we know what they should do and they probably know also what they should do, but you cannot make them do what they should do. You said:
When the WELS ignored the errorisms of my ex-wife and treated me like trash my brother-in-law a WELS pastor told me to "challenge" the church body which I did- they refused to come forward and ignored me." Here you did what you had to do and that is as far as you can take it. What do you expect the answers to you be? To side with you? Everyone feels sorry it happened. We cannot call them and tell them how we feel. But we can advice you what to do. Move forward, forgive them, let God take care of them and in the mean time, you can trust He will. But you have to let go, and move on.
---Mark_V. on 5/12/11


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John - we too were hurt very badly by fellow christians. I know I will feel better when the person hurting us stops their bad behavior, repents and make amends. I too never asked for anything from God except his love, guidance and help for small issues. I too prayed and prayed for deliverance from this problem and didn't get anything. The worse part is that we TRUSTED them and they still say they are Christians!
---cjmybad on 5/12/11


The Bible states we are to question our spiritual leaders and stay on guard as the Devil attacks those closest to God. When the WELS ignored the errorisms of my ex-wife and treated me like trash my brother-in-law a WELS pastor told me to "challenge" the church body which I did- they refused to come forward and ignored me. The Bible states they and my ex-wife must repent and apologize to me as so-called Christians. Until this is done closure is not final. A group of "true believers" recently formed within the WELS questioning the "sincerity" of its' leaders and pastors-little wonder that the CLC broke away from the WELS in the 1950's and brothers Naumann were the leaders of each synod. Great family reunion.
---john8535 on 5/12/11


John8535, I do not think that Donna66 was profiling you, she was answering to what you wrote, I don't know what you expected for an answer. It's you who is still hurting. Not the church. Those from your church, you cannot change. You can complain to them, but it is still their own choice, not yours. You have control over you, not them. You have not moved forward so it is you who has the problem now. They could care less about your problem. Can you change them? No. You can change only yourself. The rest is left up to God. I believe she gave you good advice towards you. She was not speaking to the church. I hope you take this with love, for I really don't know much only what you wrote. Peace
---Mark_V. on 5/12/11


Donna66- I donot believe profiling us people still in pain is a fair assessment of bitterness or letting go. We asked for help from the church bodies that we gave our spiritual love to. I personally never asked for anything from the church except Gods' love as a church member and brother. I received nothing in my singular time of need. The Bible clearly states that if another errors and refuses to repent and continues to be a persistent errorist admonishment in front of the congregation should be conducted against either that individual or pastor. No help to the stranger beaten beside the road. Hopefully in time the WELS and other churches will wake up to their shortcomings and repent and I can move on in Gods' world.
---john8535 on 5/11/11


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JosepineC-- Let me congratulate you on your positive attitude. I'm sure you suffered profoundly (and still are). Any Christian who stays in a church any length of time is going to suffer because of the words or acts of other Christians.
It's a fact of the Christian life. Jesus never promised otherwise.

But I believe it is your response to the situation that is most important to God!

You will see some on these blogs, that have been hurt, even years ago, but are unable to surrender that hurt to the Lord. Sadly, they hang on to the pain, becoming bitter and sarcastic people. And therby they ruin their testimony.
God bless you for not being one of those people.
---Donna66 on 4/28/11


Last Christmas I experienced a horrible attack which resulted in my visible ministry in tatters,me being mocked, cricised and gossiped about and some very questionable practices being instituted in our "church". My husband wants to stay. I'm there in body but hurting so much inside.But I know who the enemy really is. Praise God, I am part of God's Church. He knows, understands and sees all. He comforts. All I can do is cling to Him,assured that He uses all to good that is surrendered to Him, His reign and victory through Jesus Christ assured.
---JosephineC on 4/26/11


Got divorced 11 years ago in the WELS. Ex-wife wanted another husband and threw me to the side.No one helped including our pastor that she scared so badly that he was shaking after she snapped at him but still allowed her to have communion without admonishment. Even my in-laws 1 a pastor at another church or her 2 sisters teachers at other churches reached out to our 2 sons. She re-married 2 weeks ago and did not invite her family or sons one living with her. You who think the alarm bells would go off at her new WELS church. She hubby use to own the farm previously owned by my ex-mother-in-laws family.
---john8535 on 4/20/11


To those who have been hurt by those in "the church", remember there are those who are wolves in sheep's clothing that wish to devour you. I have experienced a lot in my short time serving the Lord and have learned to only expect from people what you get, and remember what Christ has done for you so you don't carry anger and bitterness, it truly only hurts you.
---willa5568 on 4/20/11


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We were so hurt by a few church members that they almost destroyed our lives. They did it for money but mostly for control. Deception, lies, stealing and even intimidation were par for the course for these 2 Christians. We will never get over the pain they caused.
---cjmybad on 4/19/11


Joseph: You should be praying that the Lord will bring you to a level where your focus will be higher than "people-hurting-me" level. Who does not get hurt in Church? Is it the Lord Jesus Christ(owner of the church) or the Pastors or the workers or members? Every one gets hurt by somebody sometimes.
---Adetunji on 3/31/11


Hi,

I understand what you are going through. I have also been hurt by my old church. I tried to suggest a way for the congregation of my old church to become more communal,but the pastor completely shut me down and said I have issues.. I think it was because he took my advice as a reflection on his performance as a pastor.. I moved on to a new church since, but I find that the pastor at my new church treats me strangely. Apparently the pastor from my old church knows the minister at the new church.. I suspect that they exchanged words behind my back.

I know what you mean, when I left my old church, almost no one cared, some of those I would call friends turned on me,

Stay strong my brother, maybe look for a new church.
---Stephen on 3/30/11


I, unfortunately, am in the midst of a very hurtful situation. While my behavior hurt people, I am sorry and have repented. However, the church has totally turned their back on me and my family. No one has reached out to us - either disparagingly or comfortingly. No one has bothered to see if I'm o.k. I feel like I have been abandoned by a church I have been very dedicated to. I was asked by someone outside the congregation if I was asked to leave the church. I said "no" because no one has even contacted me. It's a tough situation because I know they are in pain, too. But they seem to be acting a bit hypocritically if you ask me.
---Lou on 3/26/09


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Suzie,

You stand by your answer but have no real experience of How people hurt without a cause. I do not agree with what you said no one intentionally walks into being hurt by church
members.

As someone that was hurt over and over I learned to stay with God and listen to his word not to be intimidated and allowed my anchor to grip that solid rock.

Several years later none of those who hurt me are in church today, all have fell by the way, I never prayed for that but that is the situation.

If God removed them then so be it but I always loved them regardless, I never left because of them I questioned their salvation.
---Carla3939 on 2/21/09


well of course. even Christians being Christians can still offend in some way. after all, none of us are perfect.

just look at all the admonition by Jesus and the epistles about loving the brethren. if it was automatic, then there wouldnt be the need to teach about doing it.
---opalgal on 12/15/08


Regards anyone in the spotlight at church,praise leaders,Sunday school teachers,deacons etc.Yes they are exaamples espically to the youth and baby Christians and are to be as close to perfect as humanly possible.There is scripture to support this attitude.
---shirley on 12/8/08


Of course I have been.Christians aren't perfect just forgiven.I'm not saying they should be judgemental,unforgiving etc.The thing is does a person serve God or man? A true Christian should attend church somewhere if at all physically capable.Only illness or ice covered roads or parking lots is a legitimate reason to miss church.
---shirley on 12/8/08


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As a church leader I am curious to know - Should volunteers that assume leadership roles (Singers, speakers, teachers, etc) be held more accountable than the average person that attends church, or is a member that does not assume a leadership role?

We recently had to ask a singer to step down because she chose to move in with her boyfriend. She seemed to understand, but her father (the girl is 28 years old!) seems to think we should hold EVERYONE to the same standard.

Where do you draw the line, and how do you handle the situation when it arises?
---MK on 12/8/08


yes i have, their suppost to welcome you but instead they look at you like your from outer space. theres very few friendly churches anymore.
---nettiel on 10/19/08


trish, I say you are being blessed because I went through the same thing.
I fell too-HARD. But God helped me back up and I held on.
For that, I have been blessed so much that I don't even have the space here to tell you everything that God has blessed me with.
So hold on to God as tight as you can and don't let go. Because your blessing is coming and when it does, I can't even tell you how it feels.
God puts those He loves and who He has plans for through the refiners fire. Where He has molded and shaped you to get all of the impurities out and then He puts you in the kiln to set what He has created to a permanent refined beauty. God is the Potter and we(Christians) are his clay.
So just hold, joy is coming!!
---ginger on 10/15/08


Ginger,
I did fall and I fell so hard. I have cried almost every day since last April. The first day I didn't cry was the day I found christianet. I have also prayed for the people at that church.If this happened to someone else I could probably quote scripture to them to help. It's different for me. I don't know if I am being chastised or if I am being blessed.
---trish on 10/14/08


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trish, I am so sorry for the way they treated you. I went through something similar.

All I can say sister, is don't stay away from fellowship too long. Trust me, I know. Your spirit (Christ in you)will weaken like this. Mine did and then I fell. I am so glad that God reached back out to me though.

The best advice I can give you, Get back out there and find you a church family. Ask the Lord to guild you and ask Him where He wants you to be. God will even give you signs of how to identify a true family of His. We as Christians need felowship with each other to stay strong in the Lord.

You are in my prayers, trish. I pray that you find a good TRUE church family.
---ginger on 10/14/08


Carla3939...I stand by what I said. Too many people walk around taking everything they hear or see as something to hurt their feelings. Some of the posts on these blogs talk about feelings that have been hurt where the person has no idea what really happened. Many of them just think that someone said something or did something against them. In many cases, the person thinks other Christians should be doing and saying things they want them to do and say. Then, if they don't get their way, their feelings are hurt. Keep reading you will see what I mean. If a person keeps looking for things to hurt their feelings, they will find them.
---SusieB on 10/13/08


SAG:-There is a hymn name "Come back to me with all your Heart"When you hear that listen to its words there is a special massage for you within.Gods Blessings ST Anthony Guides all who falter not only the mail which never gets lost.
---Mic on 10/13/08


Ginger
Thank you for understanding. I asked several people from the church for an answer.
The last time I went in there, at the end of the service one woman rushed me out of there. She drove me home and I asked her why. She said,"nobody from this church would ever do that." That was in July and I haven't been to church since. I know one thing I still stay in God's word as best I can.
---trish7856 on 10/13/08


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Nicole,

Yes, I am a Catholic.

I've visited non-Catholic churches where I'm treated like a "hell mafia" member. That's not love. Religious Hatred if you ask me.

I offended people by eating chessburgers before street witnessing on a Good Friday. I was told to go and stand outside while others prayed. A very humbling experience.

I didn't take Holy Communion for a while because I had bitterness in my heart. Towards Jimmy Swaggart and John Hagee. The Bible teaches that we are to cleanse ourselves first and then take Holy Communion.

I only attend Catholic churches now. No, they are not perfect. But the RCC is my home. GOD gave me to my Catholic parents and I love honoring them.
---sag on 10/11/08


When you are dealing with people(church members)you will have good and bad.It is like that everywhere,at work at school etc.The bad part about it is that at church you would expect everyone to be "Christ-like".The problem is that not everyone in church is a Christian.Sitting in your garage doesn't make you a car.Some people go to church because it is a social thing others because their family has done it for years.True Christians are at church to worship God and fellowship with other believers.Alot of people forget that we as Christians are earthly representatives of Gods heavenly kingdom and don't represent very well.Hold your head up and search out the real believers.God would want you in church,worshipping and fellowshipping.
---ron on 10/11/08


SAG:-Your cries for help bring tears to my eyes.You do need to come home to the arms of Him who looks with love and tenderness, on one of His sheep, he leaves the flock in search and rejoices when He has found a contrite soul with all the angels in Heaven DEO Gratias on this Thanks giving Day.May you steer your ship safely into the harbour of His ever loving and wide open arms which he displays:"Come to me all who are laboured and I will refresh you AT last safe in Jesus arms"
---Mic on 10/10/08


SuzieB,

I disagree with that statement because people come to Christ for rest from the world we as brothers and sisters in Christ have a God given responsibility to display a life worthy of the calling God made on our lives.

There will be no excuse when we stand before God as a believer because he called us to heal the broken hearted, to feed his sheep and not behave like Goats.

If you have been around sheep you will note they are generally soft behaving animals and will run away from you rather than approach you, but Goats will buck other siblings out the way and snatch food from their own and can be very selfish.

Believers who hurt without regard are like Goats no regard for others.
---Carla3939 on 10/10/08


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YES, My family comes from a Catholic background. I admit that there is a BIG difference between a religious life and living for GOD. Preachers like Jimmy Swaggart and John Hagee bring out the worst in me. Yet, when I have asked churches to pray for me to overcome this bitterness, I get angry stares. Why? I am not sure.---sag on 10/8/08

Busted!!
Finally you confess you are not a Catholic!

You last posts of being afraid of hell because you ate a cheeseburger on Good Friday and not taking Holy Communion in a while were all false.
The RCC never told you were going to Hell over a cheeseburger!

But, I will pray for you and forgive you for the hate you tried to spread on the RCC.

Come home. We want you in our family.
---Nicole on 10/10/08


Oh, yes, many times. I know now it was turned around 4 my good. I did not now then what I know now. The carnal mind can not unstand why. But, we grow, and we learn how to love. Sure it hurts...bad. N in time we heal n we grow n learn how to walk more closely with the Lord. He will truely work all things out for our good. May God help me n this also. He keeps all our tears. Bless you ~ all of you...Us the body of Christ!
---Linda on 10/10/08


The only person responsible for getting your feelings hurt is yourself!!!!
---SusieB on 10/9/08


Being hurt by a church is painful(vioce of personal expirce), it took me years to over come it. I did, however, asked God to direct me and He did. For me to say how it exsatly happenned I'm not sure. Because God being a loving, kind father that He is only gave what I was able to hadle at the time. Today I'm in a much better place than when I frist started. I wished I could say I did, it was only thought God's love and grace that today I'm doing so much better.
The only thing I did was choose to fallow.
---frank on 10/9/08


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"However, whenever we do find a new church, I will not put myself out there again to be hurt again. I learned a lot from this experience."

gynn...I don't know what happened to you but closing yourself off from others isn't the answer. I have been hurt before and many times, however, the Lord heals the broken hearted and binds up the wounds. Think about it. Jesus put Himself way out there even though others had falsely accused Him, hurt Him, forsook Him, denied Him, and betrayed Him. We enter into His sufferings by faith, abiding in the love that was first demonstrated by His giving of His life.
---Linda_G. on 10/9/08


YES.

My family comes from a Catholic background. I admit that there is a BIG difference between a religious life and living for GOD. This applies to all churches. Catholic, Protestant, and others too.

However, many seemingly loving churches, and their members as well, are quick to point the finger and treat you like an outcast if you were not born and raised in their church. Unbiblical? You bet!

Jesus Christ and his 12 Disciples were not born and raised in the churches that have hurt me by treating me like that.

Preachers like Jimmy Swaggart and John Hagee bring out the worst in me. Yet, when I have asked churches to pray for me to overcome this bitterness, I get angry stares. Why? I am not sure.

---sag on 10/8/08


when you go to church go to hear the word and always focus on the word don't fall in love with people or a pastor live like jesus and you want go wrong.once you get and learn the word you will grow.
---mamie on 10/8/08


yes! and the worse part is the same christians who told me what I am doing is sin but they (christians) could not practice what they preach.

I saw a documentary about cults & the common denominator is obedience, do this, do that, follow the word of god & if you don't you are not a christian, lack faith, disobidient & other guilt, shame, blame, fear tactics. that is why lives are destroyed in the name of obedience.
---mike on 10/8/08


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trish,
I completely understand where you are coming from. sis, Did you ask anyone to see if you had done wrong? Sometimes we have to be bigger than the ones who accuse us and make the first step just by asking. I say you should ask, and if they cannot give a valid answer, then ask why they have treated you in such a harsh manner. If they still don't have an answer, sis, forgive them and move on. Don't let them steal your joy in the Lord.
God Bless you trish, we are here for you.
---ginger on 10/8/08


thank you john, and you are so right. But they acted like I wasn't even there. No one said hello or even spoke. The curch I attend now greets everyone with a smile and a hello. It could be the worst drug dealer in the world walking through the door and they would welcome him/her with love and understanding. That is what Christianity is all about.
---ginger on 10/8/08


BTW, I've been hurt by Church leaders as well.

But I've always been able to see beyond the people who were running the visible part of her. The Church of Christ is bigger than that.
---katavasia on 10/7/08


I was hurt by the church. Not just by one member but many.
It happened a few months ago and I don't know why. I have been treated so horribly and without an explination. Nobody confronted me about anything I had done (which was my first thought). I have been so angry.
Here I am months later, sitting in the dark because I don't know why. Where do you turn? The last place I want to be now is in church. I know to turn to God but I am unsure what He wants me to do.
---Trish on 10/7/08


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Ginger. Thank you for your forgiveness. I wasn't accusiing you of being unrepentant. I was also not saying that people who are fornicators or adulteres are not to be loved or helped. Just saying that they need to be removed from membership. Leaven permeates through the whole lump. If you repented then you should be receieved into fellowship.
---john on 10/7/08


john, your response totally surprises me. I thought you were a man of God? Maybe you should have phrased a question to ginger and not assume anything. It's this kind of judgement that turns people off.

It's the kindness of God that leads a person to repentence. So John, if you saw ginger in church, knew her story, you wouldn't be kind to her? How would you know her heart, whether or not she repented? ONLY God knows the thoughts and intentions of a person's heart. Amen?
---donna8365 on 10/7/08


we have to ask the question, how does God show His love? First he did it by sending HIS son Jesus. Whom did Jesus come here for? to dave the lost. I was lost, He saved me. How? by true Christians showing me HIS love. God loves ALL of us saved and sinner.

I am convinced that God let me go through these things to mold me and shape me so HE could say "Hey, Look what I did with this fallen woman. If I can clean her up, I can clean you up, too. All you have to do is ask. Accept my son Jesus and I will fix you, too!" I give GOD ALL THE GLORY AND THE HONOR AND THE PRAISE because I am FREE!
Ya'll have to forgive me because I Love God so much I just can't help it. And I love ALL my brothers and sisters, too!
---ginger on 10/7/08


When you are hurt by brethren it's one of the worst things they could do, but also the most painful when you are new in the faith. Like most relationships you move on but you know not to leave yourself vulnerable to anyone regardless of who they are.

God however is not pleased when one of his children are hurt and It would be better for them to get a millstone tie it around their necks and throw themselves in the sea that to hurt a child of God and knowing that you learn to forgive forget and be at peace.
---Carla3939 on 10/7/08


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john, brother, I forgive you.
God says to cast out those who have NOT repented. Even then WE as Christians are STILL suppose to show love. Had my daughters father NOT died I would have married him. But God chose otherwise for me. I am the face of most Women today. That was me, I was broken and God, through A wonderful Christian Family, showed me love and then He forgave and fixed me. If we as Christians continue to condemn, how are we going to help bring these broken women to Christ so HE can fix them? We are commanded to Love
Luke 10:27
He answered: " 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind, and, 'Love your neighbor as yourself.
---ginger on 10/7/08


""But hurt by church? No I have never been hurt by a church, because I finally received the message that God does not want me in the denominational churches.""

Isn't it funny how God apparently told you just exactly what you wanted to hear?

"" I'm just a street preacher and soulwinner something most people find beneath their dignity.""

In other words, you simply struck out on your own, responsible to and accountable to nobody but yourself.
---katavasia on 10/7/08


I have been hurt in church. I lost trust in the church because I did not expect the so-called church people to be like the world or the family(they hurt me too). I am a faithful person and love people. I gave my love freely and with a child-like faith. In return, I was hurt so badly that I no longer attend a church yet. I left the one that we used to attend about over a year ago. For one reason was because of illness and distance and thirdly, being hurt. I have visited. However, whenever we do find a new church, I will not put myself out there again to be hurt again. I learned a lot from this experience. I love the Lord with all my heart and is glad that he knows my heart. I want to be all that God wants me to be. You be blessed.
---gynn6456 on 10/6/08


I like many others know what it's like to be hurt by a church or fellow Christian.
10 yrs. ago my pastor fell and fell hard. his fall was so horrid it was in our local news for weeks.
I was the youth leader and because it had to do with harm to children{which i took several neighborhood and my kids school friends to church}recieved terrible phone calls and threats for weeks. I of course had no idea what my pastor was capable of. you can imagine how i felt in the midst of my own pain and feeling of betrayal.
the worst was my 4 kids refused to ever go to church again. I had to keep reminding them{and myself} that man will always fail us but God never will.
we need to keep our eyes on the cross not man.

---stephanie on 10/7/08


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Ginger. The Bible gives clear instructions to have fornicators and adulterers put out of the Church. Read the entire chapter of 1 Cor.5. When a complete repentance is made then the person can be reinstated. I don't know your details but maybe you didn't show repentance.
---john on 10/6/08


Ginger: I want to encourage you to stand strong in the Lord as your raise your children. My pastor recently had his 40th birthday celebrated at our church. During his testimony time, he shared that his mother was single when she conceived him, and made the choice to not abort him, but to raise him as a Christian. She eventually married his step-father, and he was adopted by the man. He is now serving the Lord as our pastor, and raising his children in our church. His mother is active in our women's ministries, mentoring single, unwed mothers, guiding them and nurturing them in the Word.
---Trish9863 on 10/6/08


ginger:

If a church won't accept you as a member, they have no right to demand your tithes either. They need to put their mouth where their money is.
---StrongAxe on 10/6/08


Offenses happen in churches because some people are not very family-oriented nor have very good people skills, and some churches just have too much competition going on for leadership roles. Christ is the head, and every single member of the church, including the pastor, is of the body, equally: the hand is not greater than the foot, nor the mouth more than the ear. Let Jesus rule his own church, and not you your own selves: let the Holy Spirit have his way, and cease quenching the Spirit: else you have synagogues of Satan and whited tombs, rather than the House of God and temples of the Holy Ghost.
---Eloy on 10/6/08


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I know how it feels to be hurt by a "church".
The one I used to attend would not let me be a member because I am an un-wed mother who has two children by different men. On top of that I am divorced and neither one of my children belong to my ex-husband. They sure would take my tithes, though, But asking them to speak to me, they sure didn't. How is it that God can forgive me of ALL my sins and I can be a member of the BODY of Christ, but they could not forgive and include me and my children with them? I thank God because since then, I have found a wonderful "church" that me and my children attend and they include us and have supported us just as God wants for all "churches" to do.
---ginger on 10/6/08


I have been asked to leave A church while I was teaching Sunday school class. I once had the experience(in a different church) of the pastor walking down the aisle and standing by the pew where I was setting and preaching against me. He also called me a fat man, which I am at 5'11" 245 lbs..
But hurt by church? No I have never been hurt by a church, because I finally received the message that God does not want me in the denominational churches. I'm just a street preacher and soulwinner something most people find beneath their dignity. I might also say that I'm thankful to the pastors that drove me from the churches for I relize God was using them to direct me. churches offer pastoral position to me but I say no and no my calling .
---mima on 10/6/08


Yes I have. It wasn't long ago I was hurt pretty bad by others in the church. I took it to God and pour my heart out to him. I feel better with a better understanding and forgave these people. But I learned who my friends really are. Just because a person goes to church that doesn't mean they are truly your friend. I think each person has been hurt at one time or another by a member or members of a church.
---Rebecca_D on 10/6/08


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