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Is My Husband A Christian

My husband of 16 years just told me he thinks he isn't a believer and no longer wants to live a lie. "Christian" husband now thinks he talked himself into a christian walk just to "win" me. We have two living children. What so I do with this information? I feel bamboozled!

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 ---Char on 11/14/08
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**Why didn't the Holy Spirit convict them to make a wiser choice? ... These men are excellent pastors, where is their discernment?**

Maybe they were led by the Holy Spirit to give your husband a chance to become what he was acting like. As more than one person has remarked, the more we are looked up to as an example, the better examples we become ourselves.

It's not these minsiter's fault that your husband didn't want to follow the path in which the Holy Spirit was trying to lead him.
---katavasia on 2/13/09


Hello,
Please stand on God's word. 1 Peter 3:1
Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives..
Philippiams 4:6
6Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.
Put your hope and trust in God, draw close to him by praying and reading the bible. God is in control!
---melinda on 12/3/08


Char ... You say "He also doesn't want to always feel inferior or know that I feel he is inferior in some way"

It sounds there as if you do "feel he is inferior in some way"

You say "Divorce is still not out of the picture since my husband thinks I really want and need a spiritual leader for my mate"

Are you sure you have not indicated to him, not only that you do want spiritual leadership, you are rejecting him because at the moment he cannot be that? If that is the vibes he is getting from yuo ... he will be feeling a rejection.

It seems to me there is a danger that you are driving the divorce wagon.
---a on 11/19/08


Char ... You say "He also doesn't want to always feel inferior or know that I feel he is inferior in some way"

It sounds there as if you do "feel he is inferior in some way"

You say "Divorce is still not out of the picture since my husband thinks I really want and need a spiritual leader for my mate"

Are you sure you have not indicated to him, not only that you do want spiritual leadership, you are rejecting him because at the moment he cannot be that? If that is the vibes he is getting from yuo ... he will be feeling a rejection.

It seems to me there is a danger that you are driving the divorce wagon.
---a on 11/19/08


There are too many, "thinks" in your question. The first step you should take is to ask him what makes him, "think" he isn't a Christian. To get to the bottom of the situation, ask him if he has ever accepted Christ as Savoir. If he doesn't really know, have him visit an understanding pastor who can help him. (By understanding, I mean one who won't condemn him or claim that, "all roads lead to heaven.") At this point about all you can do is talk with him, (if he is willing,) and pray. Since he seems content in the marriage, you can't leave him. The Bible states in 1 Cor. 7:13
"Also, if any woman has an unbelieving husband, and he is willing to live with her, she must not leave her husband."
---wivv on 11/19/08




It sounds like you have some good things to share with your husband. If you were in doubt, wouldn't you be caring with yourself and do all you could to make sure you found out what is right? Do this with him. But the main reason for doubt can be OUR OWN SELVES, what with our ability to misunderstand things, etc. Even very intelligent people can be like state-of-the-art computers which have been fed just one little bit of misinformation which throws off the results. So, you need prayer with love for each other. And if he is doubting, be careful not to let his doubt spread to you. Yes, something wrong being done can keep us down so we can doubt and have paranoid and depression problems, etc. Make sure you get more with God, yourself.
---Bill_bila5659 on 11/18/08


Thanks for the recommemnded reading. I am excited to check out anything that may bring light to my situation. Divorce is still not out of the picture since my husband thinks I really want and need a spiritual leader for my mate. He also doesn't want to always feel inferior or know that I feel he is inferior in some way. But I can't help what I feel now. It is not like I married an unbeliever. Even though I knew he was struggling these last two years (even though he was in church leadership) in his Christian walk, I had no idea he was so far down the "doubting path"
---Char on 11/17/08


Char: Your husband is highly intelligent, and has questions/doubts. This is not surprising, given his intellect. My ex and my two sons are the same. In the case of all of them, they did not reject Jesus, but the American Christian Church, and its religiosity and legalism.

Some books that were suggested to me to make available to them included Lee Strobel's "The Case for Christ," and Josh McDowell's "Evidence That Demands a Verdict."

For you, I suggest that you read "The Power of a Praying Wife," by Stormie O'Martian. She can guide you in bringing your husband before the throne.
---Trish9863 on 11/17/08


Thanks to all who have responded. Now that the shock has worn off, I see more clearly. My husband is telling me (and showing me) that he wants to stay married and he loves me dearly. Still many thoughts have raced through my head. Since this was such a surprise, (when our firstborn son died 8 years ago he was my rock, even pulled me out of bed to get on our knees and pray when I would have nightmares) I can't help but feel that another "shock" is on the horizon. Please pray that my thoughts will not become paraniod.
---Char on 11/17/08


Char: I was a Christian twenty years when I reached a similar place as your husband. Encourage him to test his doubts and make a firm decision about what he believes. After I studied the major religions and philosophies of the world I returned full circle to my first beliefs and committment. This will take some courage on your part, however encouraging him to determine what he truly believes will be worth the pain. I have returned to my first love only to find that he had never left me, he was always there. Your husband can return to God as well and he will be there.
---TIMOTHY on 11/17/08




Char ... sorry to go against the general condemnation of your husband, but maybe those two pastors do have discernment and saw something in him that you have not seen and which he himself does not see.

To doubt can sometimes be a good thihg and it can strengthen your faith.
---alan_of_UK on 11/17/08


Hi, Char . . . glad you joined in with more, thanks a lot > that's a good thing for us all to learn about . . . how someone can be very personable and NOT of the Holy Spirit. We ALL need to be able to discern. One thing I think of, in answer to your question > 1 Timothy 3:1-10 shows me the basic things which qualify a man just to be *considered* to be trusted with the "care of the church of God". Even if a man is actually worthy to be so trusted, STILL our Apostle Paul indicates he needs to be *tested*, first. If these are well-mannered, well-trained pastors, THEY too can *seem* pretty good. But if they don't obey, they are not spiritual enough to discern.
---Bill_bila5659 on 11/16/08


Trish9863, Really? I didn't know that..guess you do learn something new everyday.
---a_good_friend on 11/16/08


Good Friend, most people who have a background in Judaism, sometimes will not spell out the name of God entirely out of respect for the commandment about taking the Lord's name in vain. My guess is that Tanner is coming from such a background. I may be wrong, but I have Jewish friends who will not type out God's name entirely.
---Trish9863 on 11/16/08


Tanner, whats up with this G-d, and J-sus??
---a_good_friend on 11/15/08


Hi, Char . . . good to meet you . . . well, I'd say there are cultural conversions, in which someone goes to an altar and says a copy-cat prayer or does a baptism thing and everyone tells him or her now you are a Christian, but only because the person did the show those people look for. Well, does he still feel you are one he would want to keep after winning you? If so, develop this picture. Can you tell the difference, spiritually, between a real Christian and others? Discern him, if you can. ARE *you* a Christian who can tell the difference between God's people and others? You had enough in common to get together. Perhaps both of you could share with us, here, in this blog. Please introduce him to us (o:
---Bill_bila5659 on 11/15/08


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The enemy has work his way into your husband and has confused Him. If your husband has repented of his sins, asked J-sus to forgive him and asked J-sus to come into his heart and life so that he will not be the same today that he was yesterday. He is Born Again. His salvation is sealled, and his name is written in the Lamb's Book of Life. Encourage your husband to speak to his pastor, and do not allow this to fester, it will not go away on its own. Let him know that you love him and that J-sus loves him, eencourage him to read his Bible and pray and G-d will answer his questions. G-d Bless
---Tanner on 11/15/08


One thing that is really attacking MY faith now is that our last two pastors (we recently moved to a new city) both befriended him quickly and personally asked him for help in church leadership. Why didn't the Holy Spirit convict them to make a wiser choice? He is smart (PhD) good looking, very charming, and fun. I get why they want to be friends with him. But is he really that good an actor? These men are excellent pastors, where is their discernment?
---Char on 11/15/08


Your husband is no longer fit to be a member in good standing of "the christian club" (sarcasm intended).

Since your husband was not satisfied by "saluting" Jesus every morning and putting on a christian uniform, he will be shunned by man's spiritual empire (Jesus was also shunned/crucified by man's spiritual empire).

If your husband still acknowledges the creator as our true heritage (human beings were made IN HIS IMAGE), he should also acknowledge "anointing" and be "quickened".

1 John 2:27
"the anointing teaches...TRUTH". (RSV)

1 Corinthians 15:45 KJV
"quickening spirit".
---more_excellent_way on 11/15/08


At least he is being honest ... with himself, and with you, and with God.

I don't think he tried ever to deceive you, and probably did not know he was not really a beleiver. So don't feel bamboozled.

He still only "thinks" he isn't a beleiver.

He is halfway there!
---alan_of_UK on 11/15/08


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Pray and seek the Lord on his behalf. It sounds like he is being attacked by Satan and letting him win.
---Trish9863 on 11/15/08


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