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Living With My Boyfriend

I have been with my boyfriend 22 years. We have been faithful to each other. Never got married. Everyone says we're living in sin. Where in the bible does it say God gave Adam and Eve a marriage license. They pledged their love before God. Why does one need a marriage license?

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 ---margaret on 11/21/08
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First of all, why would anyone want to set Adam and Eve as role models? They started all this mess!

Chances are they did not have a marriage license. But I am wondering why not get a license?

A wedding is more than just 2 people coming together, it is a chance for families getting together and celebrating your love for each other.
---abe3 on 10/11/11

\\They pledged their love before God. \\

Where does the Bible say this, or that they even loved each other?

**" Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband."**

Are you aware that at the time the Bible was written, there were THREE kinds of marriages under Roman imperial law?

1. Coniubium, or marriage proper, was available only for and between certain social classes.

2. Concubinium, when the man and woman were of disparite classes. The concubina had a lawful lower state, than an uxor (wife).

3. Contuberium, or what we see here, which was the only kind available to everyone else.

Glory to Jesus Christ!
---Cluny on 10/9/11

Betty: '1Corinthians 7:2 says " Nevertheless, to avoid fornication".

However, if you remember, before this Paul does list that it is better not to be married. IF the couple posting this blog CAN avoid fornication while in a relationship, very good for them.

Paul writes that because it is very rare, and most people trying that eventually fall into fornication

But if they don't, why not
---Peter on 10/9/11

The bible leaves many things unsaid about this. In the first account man and woman were created (1:27).

They were told to be fruitful and multiply (1:28). In this account there is no mention of marriage or physical relationship.

In the second account, Adam is married to Eve (the woman from Adam's rib)but we don't know when and how it happened.

The bible is filled with people who do not conform to our idea of marriage.

Another example, Solomon who was very wise and respected, had 700 official wives and 300 concubines. If we held him up to modern standards he would be "living in sin" times 999!

I congratulate you being together for 22years! That's better than most marriages.
---abe3 on 10/9/11

The bible leaves many things unsaid about this. In the first account man and woman were created (1:27). Immediately they were told to be fruitful and multiply (1:28). There is no explicit reference to marriage in the first account or whether they had a physical relationship.

In the second account there is reference to marriage but we don't know when and how it happened.

The bible is filled with characters who do not conform to our idea of marriage.

For example, Solomon who was very wise and respected, had 700 official wives and 300 concubines. If we held him up to modern standards he would be "living in sin" times 999!

I congratulate you for being together 22years! That's better than most marriages.
---abe3 on 10/9/11

God ordained marriage, not partnership. 1Corinthians 7:2 says " Nevertheless, to avoid fornication, let every man have his own wife, and let every woman have her own husband."
---Betty on 2/19/09

Susie - you totally miss the point of the Corinthians verse. The list of those that will not inherit the Kingdom of God is not to be used in this manner. Thieves, drunkards and greedy folks are in this list as well. Yes the WICKED will not inherit - and the bible is clear - our sin is what separates us from God (we are ALL wicked) - But, Jesus died for those sins - ALL of them, before one of them was committed - even the sexually immoral sins. We are never free from committing sin - our sinful nature is always there, but we are always forgiven of them through our faith in Jesus Christ - which is the ONLY way any of us will inherit the Kingdom of God.

Kristen - don't be discouraged - we need folks like you to keep us on track!
---MK on 12/8/08


Certainly you can use barter. It is a time-honored tradition and has been used for millenia. It is even legal in the US (although as usual, the government wants their cut, so you may have to pay sales tax on the cash value of the transaction).

However, there are many very traditions (warranties, money-back guarantees, consumer protections, price matching, bottomless drink refills, etc.) that have been introduced only very recently in highly civilized societies. You don't get these with barter.

As far as witnesses go: when a man and woman live together "as a man and wife", that is common-law marriage, and all their relatives, friends, and neighbors are witnesses.
---StrongAxe on 12/3/08

interesting stuff here...
so lets say i want to buy an asset
in early Biblical times an exchange of slippers or a simple verbal agreement between both parties in the PRESENCE OF ONE OR TWO WITNESSES seals the deal...

so can i go by that method now?

if the other party breeches the agreement.... what proof will i have?

lawful in our context always have witnesses
everyone who has a godly conscience knows the right things to do... scripture says

for you know all things and....
---pat on 12/3/08

"You say of Adam & Eve "They pledged their love before God"

First question ... Did they?

Second question ... Have you?
---alan_of_UK on 11/21/08"

Alan's question above SIMPLY ANSWERS THE QUESTION.... thanks to Alan on this note
---pat on 12/3/08

hello Magg
thanks for your blog
i've been thinking about it... do u feel safe in this relationship of yours?

why is it that neither of you feels safe enough to commit yourselves fully to the relationship?

i'm a woman and though i have never had a boyfriend... i will not want to be someone's GIRLFRIEND for life if not end up as WOMANFREIEND eventually....

i'll want to be a wife... with a husband of my own.... so what's your fear? if you can confront your fears.... i'm sure things will turn out better
---pat on 12/3/08

what i think abt marriage is ur inner being and if you and ur man take a desion over it then and both accpet each other dat is wht is called the blessing of God will rest upon it.cos the bible says he who finds a good wife finds a good thing.wht if you dont ve money to do marriage but you lov each other what will happed#/mydear, just let God be the centre of your home.
---juliet on 12/3/08


You keep saying I malign the Bible YET YOU NEVER POINT OUT HOW. I ask you to provide proof of your accusations again and again, yet you NEVER DO SO. Your accusations of me (and others) are without merit, and slanderous. I welcome any proof you have of them (if I do something wrong, I appreciate correction). But all I ever hear from you is baseless accusations, and verbal abuse.

I said again and again here that I AGREEE one must be "lawfully married". However, my point of disagreement is in just what "lawfully married" ACTUALLY MEANS. The scripture has NO FORMULA for marriage, nor does it command registering a marriage with secular authorities (since this wasn't something ever done until recently).
---StrongAxe on 12/1/08

Susie, God is holy, he demands holiness from everyone. He cannot demand anything less for He is pure. Yet knowing that, when Jesus told the women, go and sin no more, God knew she would for all humans are sinners. What He meant was don't make sin a habit of life because true believers are not in bondage to sin. When we were lost we could not help ourselves so we made sin our habit. But Christ has released us from that habit. And as Christians we are been transformed, that is what rebirth is. Rebirth is only the beginning of a new life, and it is been sanctified to await the Day of our Lord Jesus Christ as He will sustain us and give us all necessary spiritual gifts to make this journey.
---MarkV. on 11/30/08

.strongax, there is "no instead" in what I say about lawful marriage. You condemn yourself by your own maligning of the Holy Writ. Are you unlearned that you need me to cite to you every Bible scripture that instructs one to be lawfully married and not to fornicate and burn in lust and not to break wedlock? Read and accept the Holy Bible: Real Christians obey and lawfully marry, and nonChristians disobey and fornicate.
---Eloy on 11/29/08


Instead of just condemning me without proof for speaking falsehood (which you seem to delight in doing on multiple occasions, and not to me only, but to many others as well), why don't you PROVE your point by providing chapter and verse where Christians are required to marry according to the laws of the secular governments under which they live, and that any other marriages that do not so conform are invalid? I welcome your input. My point here is that there are no such scriptures. If you can find some, you prove me wrong. If you can't, you prove me right.
---StrongAxe on 11/28/08

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MarkV....In defense of Eloy, Jesus said, "Go, and sin no more" to the woman caught in adultery. He didn't say, "Hey, it doesn't matter what you do cause I love you." Being a Christian is all about the committment. If this couple can't commit to each other in a covenant of marriage, how could they ever commit to Jesus Christ?
---SusieB on 11/28/08

Eloy, why can you not just answer with the Truth? Why do you have to be so condemning? Why doesn't your answer come with love and edifying? It is alway truth with condemnation. What do you think that will accomplish? Will it make you superior or more holier then others? I don't think it does either of those. What you do is give evidence of how bad a relationship with Christ you have. A lack of love, kindness, respect towards others. You give Christianity a bad name.
---MarkV. on 11/28/08

.strongax, you speak falsehood, Christians marry legally, not illegally. Do you not know that the marriages of God's people are each one recorded, within each tribe. That is, precise records were kept as to the marriages and the ancestors of the spouses down to their children were all recorded. Then when the N.T. was written we read that taxation records were also kept. Know that as one must write a bill of divorcement, so too one writes a bill of marriage and dowries were obtained. What nonbelieving people did for recording their marriages apart from what God's people did has no relevance upon God's people. The nonbelieving lands may not follow God's way, and even wrongly decree all sorts of so-called marriages.
---Eloy on 11/28/08

.strongax, The Bible speaks very clearly and very much in both testaments about proper marriage and improper fornication, but until you get saved you will believe and say whatever falsehood you desire.
---Eloy on 11/28/08

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It has to do with salvation.
Your own! My own! Yes, and are own!

But, what I wrote, I wrote to someone else!
Because, they see only what they want to see.
Not what is there! They judge before understanding.
They are the first to point.
Trying to protect his word, not understanding his word needs no protection.
His word is the protection!
They try to fix what is not broken!
Nor can be broken!

But the same will tell you, they are changing his word!
I tell you too, this can not be done, his word will not change!
For only he, can give you his word. Amen.
---TheSeg on 11/27/08

**Joh 5:39 Search the scriptures, for in them ye think ye have eternal life: and they are they which testify of me.**

Make sure you read the next verse.

Jesus is saying that devotion of the Scriptures can get in the way of a living relationship with Himself.

Of course, I don't know WHAT this has to do with marriage.
---katavasia on 11/27/08


While the Bible recommends marriage to avoid fornication, nowhere does it mention a "marriage license". That is an matter of modern secular government bureaucracies, not religion.

The Bible speaks very little about the actual forms and protocols of marriage, other than to acknowledge that it exists, there are no rituals or formulas or ceremonies mentioned at all (other than a few marriage feasts).

(Also, fornication is mentioned in the New Testament, but the Old Testament says little about it. It says a man who sleeps with a virgin must marry her or pay her bride price, but this is more a matter of tort law. Even prostitution as such, although despised, is not forbidden except to daughters of high priests.)
---StrongAxe on 11/26/08

For Christians, having a marriage license is the "right" way, and physical coition outside of marriage is the "wrong" way. Do you really need for me to preach to you from both testaments, in order for you to know that "Fornication is sin"? Yoking outside of marriage is sin. When do the "two become one flesh"? when does a man leave his father and mother to become one flesh? and for what cause?
---Eloy on 11/25/08

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NurseRobert...I am certainly married to a man. You are so funny. Check out the "Do I seek Revenge" blog for some of the answer to this question. As far as being certain that my husband is faithful, I still say that it is not possible to know what another person is doing. However, I know that my husband is a devoted preacher of the Word of God who tries to live as close to Christ as he possibly can and who also has a healthy fear of God. In fact, he made sure that we waited until marriage to become intimate. That gives you a pretty good idea of where he is coming from.
---SusieB on 11/25/08


Mat 13:14 And in them is fulfilled the prophecy of Esaias, which saith, By hearing ye shall hear, and shall not understand, and seeing ye shall see, and shall not perceive:

It was for my own salvation, not yours!

Mat 18:35 So likewise shall my heavenly Father do also unto you, if ye from your hearts forgive not every one his brother their trespasses.

Joh 5:39 Search the scriptures, for in them ye think ye have eternal life: and they are they which testify of me.

Php 2:12 Wherefore, my beloved, as ye have always obeyed, not as in my presence only, but now much more in my absence, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling.

You must be pretty!
God Bless.
---TheSeg on 11/25/08

You, who keep the sins of the world, have no heart!
You are dead! I keep asking God to help me find a way to forgive you.
---TheSeg on 11/24/08

AND THANKFULLY it is Christ who forgives and NOT you don't stress yourself out looking for God to help you find a way to forgive anyone
---Rhonda on 11/24/08


Two people who live together as a couple (but who do not formally fill out government paperwork) were considered nevertheless to be married under the "common law". In feudal Europe, for example, formally registered marriages too place primarily where transfers of property were involved, nobles married formally, while peasants did not.

The recognition of common law marriage varies from jurisdiction to jurisdiction. It is recognozed in Canada. In the United States, many states no longer recognize it, but DO consider it as far as eligibility for government benefits so they aren't even consistent about it within their own laws.
---StrongAxe on 11/24/08

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""11 the sounds of joy and gladness, the voices of bride and bridegroom, ..." - suggesting bride and groom singing and dancing in the streets.""

Maybe yes, maybe no.

There's a difference between the sound of a party inside being heard on the street, and the couple themselves going through the streets saying they are married.

It's the Bible verse for THIS that the OP said was in the Bible that I'm asking for.
---katavasia on 11/24/08

The bible says to "follow the laws of the land" Check what the laws for marriage are in your state and follow them. Its as simple as that. You can't do what people did in the bible thousands of years ago as the laws were different then.
---monie_valentine on 11/24/08


Well, Jeremiah 13:10-11 come to mind:
"10 This is what the LORD says: 'You say about this place, "It is a desolate waste, without men or animals." Yet in the towns of Judah and the streets of Jerusalem that are deserted, inhabited by neither men nor animals, there will be heard once more
11 the sounds of joy and gladness, the voices of bride and bridegroom, ..." - suggesting bride and groom singing and dancing in the streets.

This is in Jewish liturgy as part of the blessings for a wedding: "od yishama" ("yet there will be heard"),
---StrongAxe on 11/24/08

""But as far as I understand from the bible, those who got married would make a public declaration by going through the streets so all could see that they were married.""

Maggie, can you please give us book, chapter, and verse showing that people "went through the streets so all could see that they were married?"
---katavasia on 11/24/08

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I will now ask God to forgive me!
I will now ask you to forgive me!

I find this very distasteful to me. For I know!

But you, you who can find sin in love! The love between a man and a woman!
You who call on God for help! You who call on him for understanding!

You hypocrites!
You look on love and make it a dirty thing!
Read, matt 23, look on it! See it! It is you!
You who call name, with no understanding!
You are fornicators, adulterers and killer!
Stupid people, you are blind!

You, who keep the sins of the world, have no heart!
You are dead! I keep asking God to help me find a way to forgive you.
---TheSeg on 11/24/08

Most here seem to think that in God's eyes this is not a marriage.

But are yuo sure?

Were there marriage certificates or even ceremonies in Biblical times?

Maybe they became married in God's eyes when they first joined flesh.
---alan_of_UK on 11/24/08


What matters, then, is just what a "proper joining" actually is. Today, we tend to think of marriage as being something that is legitimized by the church and the state, but that was not always the case. If you actually look at the marriages in the Bible, this was not the case for any of them. Marriages were covenant between a bride and groom (or, more often, between their parents). Neither Jewish nor Christian "religious rituals" were involved (anyone who disagrees is welcome to look for a chapter and verse.) And government was not involved either. Two examples we have of weddings (Cana, and the Wedding Feast of the Lamb) were of wedding parties/receptions, NOT ceremonies.
---StrongAxe on 11/24/08

Not getting married is not the sin. Living with your mate unmarried, is where the sin comes in.You share the bed with him( no license) and that defiles the bed. God said plainly in his Word the marriage bed is not to be defiled. IN any way! If you have been with this man for 22 yrs, what seems to be the reason why you and he has not married? Marriage makes your arrangement legal,gives you more rights as a wife and is looked upon more honorably, in this society than a shack up job. Your child(ren) will not be bastards and will have his name. You will have legal rights and responsibilities.
I have seen terrible things happen to women and men who just choose to live together and not do things the right way. Your choice,though.
---Robyn on 11/23/08

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I'm sorry you don't like the truth of the Bible may be you'll like a self help book better. The Bible is not all good news it's life and life is filled with good and bad news. You must believe in Jesus as your lord and saviour and that is the good news.

God has recognized marriage as a covenant of a man and a woman and as long as the two are one under God they don't need a license to tell the world that they are married. As long as they are committed to each other and to God. But the marriage needs to be a covenant between them and God
---joe on 11/23/08

It wasn't very long ago that we didn't need a license to get married, go fishing, drive a car, and the list goes on. Obtaining a license to marry and fileing it with the state creates a legal contract. In Grandpa's day, Clergyman would perform a marriage, and it was written in the family Bible and that made it legal. There is a commitment cerimony that can be done with a certificate issued by the Clergyman, which requires both signatures. But, this may not be legal in all states. I think if you were to discuss, the idea of putting both of your signatures on such a document. If either, were not willing to sign on the dotted line, I would seriously re think this relationship. Remember, a child would be seriously impacted in such a relationship.
---Rev._R on 11/23/08

Because you do. In Genesis 2:24>>> "For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be JOINED to his WIFE, and they shall become one flesh". Over in Matt. 19:6 it reads: So they are no longer two, but one flesh. What therefore God has joined together, let no man separate. God, actually perform the wedding Himself between Adam and Eve. You used the word, judged. God's people has the right to judge what is good and what is evil. Fornication>>Is sexual sin and is evil. Living with a person without proper joining together lawfully as a man or wife, is a sin. Note: Please do not rationalize. Wrong is wrong. Period.
---catherine on 11/23/08

Once, I went to the city marriage license service person, and asked how to get a marriage license. He went through paper details, then smiled and said, "There is one other very important item > you need to bring a lady." So . . . got that, at least > a marriage license is NOT like a hunting license you get before you go hunting (o: At least, it sounds like you've got a guy, Margaret. You're ahead of me, at age 61. But are you Christians? If you are family with really Christian people, part of being family is sharing your marriage with others, including by getting pronounced. But I don't think this includes a "vow" of boasting how you will do, but humbly offering yourselves to God.
---Bill_bila5659 on 11/23/08

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Hey wait a minute here you all jumping in with your law's and such but nowhere is anyone saying we live by grace not by law.
Yes ther relationship could be a stumbling block but how do we know that they both are not new Christians ? and just learning themselfs. The Bible does say we are NOT to judge people so why is there so many professed Christians judging this couple ?

---Parris_G on 11/23/08

According to scripture, you are already married. You have been married for 22 years. The act of sharing oneself is a covenant before God, joining together. Gen 24:67, Isaac brought Rebekkah into his mother's tent and "...Isaac took Rebekkah, and she became his wife, and he loved her...".
---Susan on 11/23/08

Kristen, you are upset at what has been answered to your post, and you say they are judgmental and you are leaving. Wasn't that your reason for posting? To see what others would say about the relationship? You were waiting for answers from others and you got them and now you are angry because they don't seem to be the one's you were looking for. If you didn't want someone to judge you why did you post? I am sorry you are leaving.
I too was going to give you my opinion because that is what you wanted and read what Donna wrote and I thought that was a great answer, and was hoping to read what you thought about it.
---MarkV. on 11/23/08

#2......Please tell me how you can possibly know if this man who hasn't married you has been faithful to you. ---SusieB on 11/21/08

Susie... how do you know a man (or woman) you married has been faithful to you?
---NurseRobert on 11/23/08

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To be married in the eyes of the law for your particular country. But as far as I understand from the bible, those who got married would make a public declaration by going through the streets so all could see that they were married. I don`t know what church you belong to (religion). But I think that `living in sin` is odd to say, when indeed we are all sinners so effectively we all live in sin! Not having a piece of paper is of what consequence? I don`t know, why don`t you do a search as to how Christians were married in Jesus`s time.
For example did they have `marriage vows` back then. Peace X
---maggie on 11/23/08

**The line here is too blurry for the body of Christ. Where is the line between fornication and marriage without a ceremony to acknowlege it?**

A question I've asked on numerous occasions, including on this blog just Friday.

You think all the married born-again Christians here would be able to tell us why they are really married in and not just living in fornication and concubinage in God's eyes, but nobody has
---katavasia on 11/22/08

You know it is aways better to be safe than sorry..after 22 years, I would say it is time to sign the marriage license'. And yes I do think that your living in sin.
---a_good_friend on 11/22/08

God did not set up marriage to be a live-in relationship as we know it today. As far as Adam and Eve, God was their creator and in lieu of a man-made license, he created them to be the first man and wife couple. I do believe that trumps a written marriage license in any Christian's worldview!

Christianity through the ages has blessed marriage as a holy and God-founded institution where God is the third member of the union and held in higher esteem than either human member.

Ask yourself if what others see you doing in the name of your faith is building up the kingdom or tearing it down.
---Dr._Linda_B._Greer on 11/22/08

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"Susie--.......She is certain her man has been faithful to her...That's more than many long term married couples can honestly say."........---Donna66 on 11/21/08

Donn66.....There is no way that anybody can be certain as to what another person is doing or has done. To think otherwise is being naive.
---SusieB on 11/22/08

kirsten...I am not stating my opinion. I am stating Bible. Fornication is lumped with the rest of the sins that keep us out of Heaven. Do you believe the Bible? Also, God created Adam and Eve and there is no mention of their love being pledged to God. They only had each other when they were created.

I Corinthians 6:9-10..."Do you not know that the unjust will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived, neither fornicators nor idolaters nor adulterers nor boy prostitutes nor sodomites nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor robbers will inherit the kingdom of God."
---SusieB on 11/22/08

Margaret (or is it Kirsten???)....Care to discuss this question you asked?
---SusieB on 11/22/08

It's up to the person, whether they like to belong to the large group of those who live together, sometimes separating and uniting with new partners, sometimes having one night stands etc. or whether they want to belong to those who believe in marriage (even if they have failed once and are now onto their second attempt). These living in sin people are unlikely to admit to the exact number of partners they have had during their lifetime. At least you have a rough idea of the number of people your divorced partner has slept with. This is not a foolproof indication, but it shows at least a desire to keep within the good traditions of our parents or grandparents. I know which group I prefer to be in.
---frances008 on 11/22/08

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The question was where in the bible does it state that a couple that lives together constitutes sin if they aren't married. For everyone that refuses to believe truth, it is called fornication or engaging in sexual relations out of wedlock, the same as adultery is engaging in sexual relations with someone other than your spouse. Fornication is evil and having sexual relations with anyone not married. People can twist the truth to suit themselves, but it is still an abomination in God's eyes and they will be judged for it. Satan laughs every time someone tries to justify an action for their own advantage. Fornicators and adulterer's will NOT enter the kingdom of God.
---Ashley on 11/22/08


A marriage license is legal recognition that conveys certain governmental privileges and responsibilities, but is a formailty not legally necessary in many countries. Similar optional formalities exist for copyright registrations (everything you publish is automatically copyrighted, but you have better legal protection if you register), many kinds of professional services (many professions allow you to be either licensed or not), etc.

"children raising children", already happens - two unmarried 40 year olds living together for 22 years provide a more stable home environment than two married 18 year olds. I often hear laments about abused children "you need a license to have a dog, but not to have a child".
---StrongAxe on 11/22/08

The laws of the land require us to have a marriage license and we are to obey those laws

laws of which land?

More than half marriages today in US begin with couple living together no surprise divorce is more than 60% today

sex outside of marriage is the norm today

Margaret it's admirable you both pledged still honor most can't keep a promise they made 5 minutes ago

Marriage recognizes UNION - more than "piece of paper" it's a celebration

Did Christ attend a marriage supper?

as for "living in sin" you cannot live in sin if you do not recognize God and his laws ...many self professing Christians like to TELL others about their sins John 8:4-12
---Rhonda on 11/22/08

The Bible tells us that fornicators will not enter the Kingdom of God. A fornicator is a single person who has sexual activites with another person. God will forgive that person if he, or she, will repent and do not thus any more. Please, do the right thing and have a clear consciend with our Lord Jesus Christ. God makes the laws, not we. Obtain a mrriage licence. God performed the ceremony for Adam and Eve. He made them one.

---Arnold on 11/22/08

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Kristen ... DON'T GO WE need more non-judgmental people here!

But looking at this, of the 12 individual contributors, only half have condemmed the couple.
---alan_of_UK on 11/22/08

Kristen, there are a lot of very critical people on these blogs, that is for sure. But, when a person is quoting scriptures, they are not being judgmental, the Lord is. It is His Word that says fornicators will not enter the kingdom of heaven, not the person who posted it.

Study God's Word and you will see His love, compassion and judgment of sin.
---Trish9863 on 11/22/08


Act 15:24 Forasmuch as we have heard, that certain which went out from us have troubled you with words, subverting your souls, saying, Ye must be circumcised, and keep the law: to whom we gave no such commandment:
Act 18:15 But if it be a question of words and names, and of your law, look ye to it, for I will be no judge of such matters.

This is the one I find so sad, for I see people dont understand it. They dont see, they are following the law and not the truth!
Mat 7:2 For with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged: and with what measure ye mete, it shall be measured to you again.

And you cant help them!
---TheSeg on 11/22/08

you know, i have to say i'm really upset with the comments on this blog. so many of you are so JUDGMENTAL. telling this woman that she isn't going to enter the kingdom of heaven because she hasn't been married? she's breaking God's laws? i thought this site would be a positive one to come to, but i see otherwise. this isn't the place for me.
---kristen on 11/22/08

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"The Bible plainly states that, we`re to obey the laws of the land.
Living together unmarried is breaking that law"

Does the law of the land say it is illegal to live together unmarried? It certainly does not in England.

Does the Bible actually say you have to have a piece of paper?

I think in God's eyes. these two are one flesh.

Susie ... "Please tell me how you can possibly know if this man who hasn't married you has been faithful to you" You don't know that even if you are married!
---alan_of_UK on 11/22/08

License is permission, a permit to marry. And possessing a marriage license makes the marriage lawful in the eyes of the state and fellow citizens, just as a driver's license makes the driver lawful in the eyes of the state and fellow citizens. The obvious reason for the license regulation is because the couple should: Be of mature age enough to raise a newborn soul in the world: for children should not be giving birth to children. And also the license is meant to ban immoral polygamy and adulteries.
---Eloy on 11/22/08

Dan and donna8365:

If you want to be pedantic about "obeying the law of the land", then I'm curious about which land you are speaking. It is not illegal in the United States (or most other western countries, for that matter) for a man and a woman to live together without being married.

(However, in Musliam countries ruled by shariah, this may be different.)

Also, while I don't think it's true in the US, at least in Canada, if you live together as a couple (even unmarried), after a while, the government considers you to be married common law.
---StrongAxe on 11/21/08

Althought there is not a specific scripture that says that you have to have a written legal marriage I think it can scripturally be supported that it is very necessary.

1. All government is ordained of God and the law of the land says in order to recognized as a union you have to have a license. Unless you live in a common law marriage state but i'll come back to that.

2.Even it is a liberty for you to do this, is it wise and is it beneficial? In 22 yrs if you have acquired assets and/or had children, what if something happened to one of you? When things aren't legal families try to take assets and maybe even children.
More to come
---Kai on 11/21/08

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Obviously 22 years ago Margaret and her mate were not worried about having God's blessing...perhaps not for most of the time since. But the point is, TODAY she doesn't like the thought that others may think she's "living in sin".

She is certain her man has been faithful to her...That's more than many long term married couples can honestly say.

I'd just ask, after 22 years together, why NOT get married? They've already handled the hardest parts of marriage.The license is inexpensive and marriage provides important legal
protections for both of them and their children, if any.
---Donna66 on 11/21/08

(cont'd post)

3. As a christian we are to shun even the APPEARANCE of evil. Think about this. What if you were discipling a new convert? Or you had weaker christian around you who knew your situation. To ignorant, weak, or new christians, what you are doing could be a stubling block for your brothers and sisters and God will hold you accountable, if they do as you do and sin against their conscience.

Romans 14:13-23

4. Everything should be decent and in order. The line here is too blurry for the body of Christ. Where is the line between fornication and marriage without a ceremony to acknowlege it?

5. The oldest marriage record in jewish history dates back to 6th century BCE, just after the babylonian exile.
---Kai on 11/21/08

Actually, there's NOTHING in the Bible that says that Adam and Eve pledged their love before God. Where did you get the idea that they did?

What's to keep you 2 from getting married?

Of course, you have brought up an issue that I've frequently asked, and nobody has answered:

According to the Bible, what must a man and woman do to be really, truly, and validly married in God's eyes? Give book, chapter, and verse in your answer.
---katavasia on 11/21/08

First of all there was No sin when Adam and Eve was first put together BY God. The sin came later when Eve gave into taking of the tree of knowlage. Second, seems to me like there is a paper of marriage somewhere in the Bible days, cuz why else would Moses have to give those who didn't want to be married anymore a written divorce? Something to study on.
---a_good_friend on 11/21/08

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The Bible plainly states that, we`re to obey the laws of the land.Living together unmarried is breaking that law.Besides if you profess to be christians,your lives are an open book.We as Christians represent Christ to the unsaved.If we don`t keepGod`s laws what message is that sending to them.If we`re not careful,we
can cause someone else to stumble.I suggest you do the right thing and get married,(IF You`re Truely In Love) or stop professing to
be Christians. You just may be doing more harm than good. Dan.a
---Dan on 11/21/08

I have to say something, I agree it's better to fully and legally commit, but you've also got to understand that the situation these folks are in is only not considered marriage because of our customs. In the days before we had city halls and licenses folks did what they're doing and were married.

The part that is sinful in their union is not subjecting themselves to the normal practice of their culture, not a very weighty sin in itself, but the part the questioner is not seeing is that by not being in full submission their sexual relationship is an offense to the church.
Trust me I don't think doing what Jesus naturally created us to do is bad, just that our liberties shouldn't offend others, and that for Jesus sake.
---Pharisee on 11/21/08


#1......If you really cared what God thinks about anything, you would not have lived with a man for 22 years without a marriage commitment.

#2......Please tell me how you can possibly know if this man who hasn't married you has been faithful to you.

#3......The Bible calls you're "living in sin" fornication and says that fornicators will not enter the Kingdom of God.

#4......Have you read the Third Chapter of John which will tell you about Jesus Christ and being born again?
---SusieB on 11/21/08

Your marriage Licence is an unspoken (22 year) Trust which you are expected to up hold as you became 2 in one flesh.Break that and you are TOAST, till death do you part.The facts of Life.
---Mic on 11/21/08

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You say of Adam & Eve "They pledged their love before God"

First question ... Did they?

Second question ... Have you?
---alan_of_UK on 11/21/08

Have ye not read, that he which made them at the beginning made them male and female, And said, For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh?...What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.(Matthew 19:4-6)

Speaking of marriage, Christ's response implies that God arranged the union between Adam and Eve. He created them for the purpose of uniting as 'one flesh'. God subsequently instructed them to 'be fruitful and multiply'. Therefore, legal documentation would have been unnecessary, for this particular marriage was established by divine authority. Therefore, the comparison made between this first coupling and your situation DOES NOT follow.
---Bobby3 on 11/21/08

I am new to this site and just volunteered to help answer questions. I am not sure where in the bible it says that you have to have a marriage license, but I personally believe that a marriage license is the way to go.
---Amanda on 11/21/08

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