Wets His Pants During Spanking
Is it normal for my 5 year old son to wet his pants while he is getting a spanking? My son does this whenever my husband or I spank him, but he wets more frequently and worse when my husband spanks him.
Moderator - Have him use the bathroom before a spanking and the problem is solved. Sounds like he is scared?
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---Peggy on 3/4/09
Helpful Blog Vote (19)
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are you angry when you spank your child? You may be scaring him he can not help him self.You need to be careful and show some love. |
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---robin on 11/21/09 |
maybe you should throw your "rules" in the trash and read Proverbs. |
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---jerry54 on 11/20/09 |
>I do not believe in spanking children, under ANY circumstances.
Spanking, if done properly, is simply applied negative reinforcement.
There are 6 rules to proper spaking:
1) Only and always on the butt--lots of padding.
2) NOT HARD!
3) Always and only with your bare hand--if it hurt you then it was too hard--apologize immediately!
4) ONE swat--can you count that high?!?
5) Don't be angry when you do it--I know it will be hard, but it is a must.
6) The MOST important rule of all: hugs and kisses afterwards. Your child needs to know that you still love them.
One guy reported that the most influential spanking he ever got was when his father was crying as he did it. DO YOU?!? |
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---djconklin on 11/20/09 |
I like the Moderator's comment.
Here is some scripture:
Pr22:15 Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child, but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him.
Pr23:13 Withhold not correction from the child: for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die.
Pr23:14 Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell.
By the way, I believe that is refering to a life of hell here on earth.
Pr29:15 The rod and reproof give wisdom: but a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame.
Do you want to look to man or God for wisdom?
My brothers and I were spanked and we all turned out to be good Christians. |
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---trey on 11/20/09 |
I do not believe in spanking children, under ANY circumstances. Please read some books about disciplining with love and affection, not through fear. Anyone can see that your poor son is terrified, and even if he grows up to be a "good kid" he will be emotionally distant from you. Please think about this and do not abuse your poor little son any further. You need to get some professional help if this is the only way you can think of to handle him. I myself have a 4-year-old so I know what you're going through, but have found that positive (instead of negative) reinforcement can go a long way. I beg you, do some research, despite what some well-intended (or otherwise) "experts" will tell you, there's no good reason to spank. |
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---Laurie on 10/11/09 |
That's why there's a bunch of heathen varmints running around hurting innocent old/young people(NO Moral or common love for man/woman, NEIGHBOR).
Their ARE consequences to ones action,
"TALKING" doesn't always work.
When you tell a child
"Don't touch that, it's hot and/or it will hurt you"(Stove/oven/fire, trash, mean dog,ect, ect, ect),
one of the 1st things they do "Is touch one of those things" when you turn your head...
Some kids are "Hard-heads"(I know, I was one)
I DID everything I was told NOT to do(Rebellious natured),unfortunately I had to become a serpent, to be as wise as one, Praise God, His Love has made me Gentle as a Dove.
Thank You Father |
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---Duane_Dudley_Martin_Jr. on 4/21/09 |
I don't believe in spanking a child,
Why don't you and your husband talk to him,when you both calm down.
Of course he is going to wet his pants,the poor child is scared.
Always correct a child when you have calmed down and there will be no need at all to spank him ever again
Gabby6487 |
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---Gabby on 4/20/09 |
It sounds as though the child is terrified, do you explain to him before how and why you are punishing him? if you are going to spank do it in a calm and controlled manner and afterwards hug him and tell him you love him, he should rspond better to this method. |
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---Ben on 4/17/09 |
Hey! How about this? Stop spanking him!!!! |
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---Amanda on 4/16/09 |
The problem is not solved! The problem is that your child is scared to death because he's being hit! No hugging or explaining in advance is going to make that experience any less traumatic for the child.
Try natural consequences as a discipline technique. |
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---dawn on 4/12/09 |
It is difficult 2 say. I disciplined both of my girls the same it worked on the 1 and and the other 1 rebeled even more. If he is wetting himself he is afraid of something. Maybe talk 2 him first and explain why he is getting a spanking and hug him after. Let him know that u still love him. It really goes by too fast, enjoy him as much as u can because soon he will b gone. Good luck. No blessings. |
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---Keya on 4/5/09 |
judy- The Holy Spirit told me not to. Who are you talking to? In the Old Testament, a father cut his daughter in pieces and sent pieces to different people. Should we follow that advice? No. It was a report of what a man did. Obviously, he was crazy. God did not tell him to do it. Spare the rod & spoil the child was advised by a man.
Jesus Christ said, "But whoever offends one of these little ones which believe in Me, it would be better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck and he was drowned in the depth of the sea." Matthew 18:6, Mark 9:42, Luke 17:2. |
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---Betty on 4/5/09 |
duane- Whoever you're talking to, I presume it wasn't me, for I know first-hand what I wrote about on this page works, and it worked excellently.
The spoiled, hateful kids in this country usually are not Christians or not real Christians. Likewise the parents. Children should be brought up in the fear and admonition of the Lord.
Children need love, attention, and time spent with their parents and family. |
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---Betty on 4/5/09 |
A little extra food for thought: No matter where you ultimately fall on the spanking issue, do note that if a teacher, doctor or other adult that is mandated to report such things gets wind of your son wetting on himself during a spanking, the authorities will be contacted and abuse charges may be filed. I am not telling you this to be negative, but to give you a heads up that, no matter your opinion about the rights and wrongs of spanking according to the bible, civil law is another issue. 9 times out of 10, your situation will be perceived as abusive. Whether your son is doing this on purpose to get out of a spanking or out of fear, you want to be very wise in how you handle this. |
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---AlwaysOn on 4/5/09 |
Are you spanking your child in ANGER? This could sacred him more than the actual spanking. Most parents wait until they can no longer deal with their children then spank them(this should not be) Talk to your child at their level.(meaning their understanding, it does not hurt to physically get down to their height too). Remember the it says in the Bible when i was a child i acted.... like a child. |
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---BB on 4/4/09 |
It sounds to me like your son is scared to death. How hard are you spanking him? How much yelling and screaming is going on before and during the spanking?
It is so easy to overdo simple discipline. Spanking is not always the answer!
There are many forms of discipline besides spanking and work much better for the childs well being.
Try using spanking as a LAST RESORT.
Lifes experience has taught me spanking should be used.....but only after you have exhausted the other discipline methods.
Find out which method works best on him personally. All children are different even if they are siblings. Take a parenting class or read up on the subject. Talk to your local pastor. God Bless, and good parenting! |
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---Rev._Daniel on 4/4/09 |
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Yep, men wrote the whole Bible and ALL the books in it...
Yep, the Holy Ghost put it in my heart, NOT to spoil/RUIN my children, do you think you will be ok on that day for raising rotted fruit/children?
The Lords about to come and rule with a rod of Iron, I hope you don't think your going to be flying around with a harp & just having a good ol time?
Your feel good attitude, with bubble wrappers & cottoncandy, is a fantasy land that doesn't exsist.
It's better to beat your kid, then to allow them to grow w/o God's knowledge & ways,
That's whats wrong w/America, A bunch of SPOILED KIDS spawned of Satan...
YLBD |
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---Duane_Dudley_Martin_Jr. on 4/4/09 |
Never leave a mark always make an impression.
Children learn best with Quiet praise. |
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---Timothy on 4/3/09 |
Absolutely Betty,Holy Spirit sure did!In fact I am under conviction for not spanking them enough...Betty,the entire Bible was technically written by men...under the inspiration of the Holy Spirit.Scripture is God-breathed...So for goodness sake what are you saying?You dont believe the entire Bible to be Holy and God-breathed?There is a difference between violence and Godly-discipline,appropriately administered,given from tough love if you will..without anger...and plenty of hugs and kisses later.Not all children may need the spanking,but some do to break rebellious behaviour. |
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---judy on 4/3/09 |
judy- The one who wrote spare the rod and spoil the child was a man. Did the Holy Spirit lead you to spank yours? What about the rest of you bloggers, did the Holy Spirit tell you to spank the children? Jesus Christ taught us to be non-violent. |
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---Betty on 4/3/09 |
Judy~ You gave a level headed answer. Just as God needs to chastise us, so at times we must chastise unruly children through the guidance of the Holy Spirit, and with the overall outlook that we must lead the child to knowledge of obedience and yet let them know we love them.
My daughter was/is a piece of cake to discipline, however, my son was/is not such an easy case.
The idea of spanking in a way that would scare the child to wet himself seems overly harsh. We need to look at each individual child and each individual situation with complete care, discernment and discretion and judge wisely through the guidance of the Holy Spirit. Good day to you and God bless. |
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---Anne on 4/3/09 |
betty dont be deceived..spare the rod and spoil the child is biblical.If You say it is not,then you put the entire Bible suspect.Accept all Scripture or none....yes,love is important,kind words,gentleness,spanking should be LAST resort if all else fails,but if thereis a hard headed child,then spanking must be done to stop child from being disrespectful or rebellious.The jails are filled with people who did not get proper discipline.That does not mean you beat them but a spanking on the butt,properly administered,and then to process it later with your child and give plenty of love.No hitting in anger...big difference. |
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---judy on 4/2/09 |
Yeah, when I was a littleboy, I would act like I couldn't breath, It was just a way to get them to stop spanking me, because if you were that affraid, you would have stopped doing what you were doing to get whooped in the 1st place...
I wish they had cell phones back then, anyone who's been whooped with a phone cord before knows what I'm saying(lol)...
YLBD |
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---Duane_Dudley_Martin_Jr. on 3/23/09 |
I use to wet my pants everytime my mother was giving me a spanking with a Belt and 7 or 8 years old. I would think this is common. |
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---Greg_Sherman on 3/22/09 |
Don't spank the child. Jesus Christ said for us to do unto others as we would have them do unto us. He did not condone violence. The verse about spare the rod spoil the child was written by a man, and wasn't a direct command from God. Jesus said for us not to offend children. (Matthew 18: 6) He meant more than one thing by that.
Instead of spanking, you should try lovingly to teach him to do what you want him to do. Be patient with him and show him what you mean for him to do or not do. Try hugging him and kissing him, tell him he is good and smart. Don't take minor offenses too seriously. Teach him to love and not be violent. Don't let your husband spank him. |
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---BettyW on 3/22/09 |
As others have stated, it could be a psychological issue. Also, what are you spanking him with? In grade school, my grandmother (a registered nurse) instructed my mother not to allow nuns to ever hit me with a paddle like they did other children. Her reasoning was that hitting with a paddle on the bottom did internal damage, specifically to the bladder. In short, the spankings may be causing damage or irritation to your son's bladder. Dad also may be too heavy-handed in this area. Personally, I spanked my son when he was a child, but if I had it to do over again, I never would spank a child. And, Sue, I agree with you. The rod guides the sheep and is not an instrument to beat them. |
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---AlwaysOn on 3/21/09 |
It just doesn't seem that he's doing it on purpose. Maybe, check with the family physician for a possible physical condition, if it isn't fear
******
Kids BEAT at home are bullies in school ...my childrens friends know who are BEAT at home under the GUISE of "christianity"
AN ANIMAL will evacuate it's bowels and bladder if you BEAT it LONG and HARD enough
a HUMAN BEING is no different |
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---Rhonda on 3/21/09 |
Ditto to the Moderator's answer. Please, no matter what, though, do not get angry with the child whenever he does this. Not saying that you are. It just doesn't seem that he's doing it on purpose. Maybe, check with the family physician for a possible physical condition, if it isn't fear. |
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---Gordon on 3/20/09 |
There could be several reasons. Perhaps you both could be hitting the child "too hard or spanking too long". Remember you are adults and he's a child your strength is much greater. Also, "the bible" says "withhold not correction from the child:for if thou beatest him with the rod, he shall not die. Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell."Prov.23:13-14. Prov. 22:6 says "train up a child in the way he should go:and when he is old,he will not depart from it". So God tells us to instruct and decipline. Make sure you're telling your child why they got spanked. And if we stray when we get to be adults, it was by "choice" therefore, subjected to the laws of the land. |
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---vonda on 3/20/09 |
My 6 year old girl htrows up after a spanking. It sounds like a ploy to change your mind. Dr Dobbson's book "The Strong Willed Child" touches on this. Consistancy and prayer are wonders. Having him go to the bathroom beforehand is a good idea, and I don't believe it's out of fear...The Bible says it won't kill him to spank(beat) him, it will save his life.
It's not telling you to literally beat him not with a rod either, that's just how the Hebrew got translated, it was actually a switch. |
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---lisa on 3/20/09 |
First pray and don't let up until you have an agreement that God will have mercy on your child and guide him. On that foundation then cling to the faith your child is a good child miss-behaving and not a bad child. Stand firm in insisting that he be the good person you know he is (i.e. that God is creating).
Kids have so much to learn so sometimes you have to try to find things he is doing right and reward them in order to be effective in teaching or else you over saturate with correction and lose effect. This not an "open loop" process. You need to be plugged into your child and be flexible until you find what works. What works will probably change. You may also at times get at the end of your rope. (cont)... |
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---DavidA on 3/19/09 |
(cont...) Also recognize that you don't know what you are doing. This is a hard step for all of us but if you are brave enough to take it you will be blessed. It will open your eyes to things they are blind to. Remember you have responsibility for this child but you don't own him. Let God bear the weight, tell him you are not qualified to do this and ask constantly for guidance. The answers will come and sometimes they will be something so new yet so simple you will have overlooked it. He will put things in your heart that will not just bless your child, they will bless you too.
Cheers and good luck. This is the toughest job you will ever love. |
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---DavidA on 3/19/09 |
It is often said, don't hit your kids. I agree. However, I believe some kids will sometimes (rarely, I hope) have to be corrected by slightly violent physical means.
It seems kind of bizzarre to me, to tell a child to urinate because you are going to spank him. If the child is cooperative enough
to do what you tell him at the moment, he
is cooperative enough so that it is not necessary to strike him at all. Use the other
means suggested by others here, unless a child is completely out of control and openly
defiant. |
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---robert on 3/13/09 |
**And the thing in the Bible about hitting with rods: maybe Jesus meant to 'guide' the sheep with rods, not 'beat' them with rods.**
Actually, Sue, it was Solomon who said this in Proverbs, but otherwise, a good point. |
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---katavasia on 3/13/09 |
For everyone who insists spanking kids is fine: take a survey in any prison to see how many of the criminals there were spanked as kids. |
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---sue on 3/11/09 |
I suffered 51 years of suicidal depression because I grew up in a severely dysfunctional (abusive) family that said they loved me but treated me the exact opposite.
By instinct, children know that their family is supposed to love them (and genuinely be treated with love and respect). When they are treated the opposite way, they are thrown into SHOCK and can no longer truly relate to reality. They get used to mistreatment and learn low self esteem and that they should always be a doormat and let everyone in the world mistreat them (they learn to believe that they were born for other people's use/enjoyment).
If you change your ways, your son might still be young enough to teach him a better life.
You TERRORIZE him. |
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---more_excellent_way on 3/10/09 |
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PLEASE stop spanking your kid. Disapline is suppose to teach him. Try teaching him with love instead of violence.
And the thing in the Bible about hitting with rods: maybe Jesus meant to 'guide' the sheep with rods, not 'beat' them with rods. |
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---sue on 3/10/09 |
I saw a dog that got hit by a car do the very same thing... Does this tell you anything?
Maybe your techniques are wrong in your "spankings." Have you ever considered that the child may not even know what is going on? I wonder also how disciplined you and your husband are when trying to discipline the child? |
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---Elder on 3/9/09 |
Your son urinates on himself probably because of fear. Fear of your anger. Imagine if somebody had to beat, cane or spank you every other day are you not going to fear him or her and maybe urinate on yourself. It could be you are too hard on your son yet the problem is with you. Who are you before your child? How do you react to situations, especially when he has done something wrong? A parents attitude greatly contributes to a child's behaviour. |
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---Caroline on 3/9/09 |
I don't think spanking son is a good idea maybe you should try loving him instead, and showing him through that hug and embrace with a strong tone first why/what he did wrong, then embrace him he needs more love than been spanked.
Some children need more of a clap than been spoken too, his nervousness means you'll have problems if you hit him. |
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---Carla3939 on 3/9/09 |
No matter what you are told or read, there is no law that can require or obligate you to spank/beat your beloved child against your freewill.
He keeps repeating offenses because he has learned to regard spanking as normal. Even though he was potty trained, he is now learning to lose control.
He is scared of his loving parents (is this what you want?) and if you don't stop now, expect him to have emotional/psychological problems in adulthood (and expect yourself to have subconscious guilt/regrets and a need to constantly redeem your conscience in later years).
(my sister was an elder abuser). |
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---more_excellent_way on 3/5/09 |
My 9 year old son does the same thing. He isn't scared because we barley spank him. I believe it is he is nervous. But of course my son has ADHD and is on medication. Does your son have ADHD? What I've found to be more effective over spanking is put some type of a magnate on the refrigerator and have your son put his nose on there for 5 minutes because he is 5 years old. This works well with my son and my 7 year old daughter. So I very seldom spank them. Try it before resulting to spanking and see if this helps. If it does then praise God. Or you could take his privileges away. Like if he has a bike, games, swing set, anything that he loves to do. Take it away for the rest of the day or one whole day. |
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---Rebecca_D on 3/5/09 |
Speaking from experience, I am 50 now, but when I was 5 years old, I got spanked on the back of my legs until welts showed up. I was not a bad kid. My father had a bad Italian temper and his demons needed to be fed so he found any excuse to beat us kids. Playing our radio too loud, or arguing who was getting in the bathroom first. Stupid stuff.
The wetting of your sons pants is UNCONTROLLABLE and happens because of FEAR. I know, I experienced this first hand as a child. The fear takes over and he is so scared, he loses control of his bladder. STOP spanking him so hard. You are hurting him if he is peeing his pants. I know, that's why I was doing it. I believe timing kids out is a much better way to DISCIPLINE, not PUNISH kids. |
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---donna8365 on 3/5/09 |
I agree with moderator. But, by five, he may have enough understanding, so that other means of discipline (like time-outs) might be as effective. Why not give that a try? It works well for a lot of kids. |
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---Donna66 on 3/5/09 |
So, he's scared of the spankings, yet keeps on doing what can get him one? Or, is he a clever little psychologist who can help prevent you from wanting to spank him? OR, he's abnormal. He's your child. I'd say get to know him so you know the answer . . . and what is really good for him. I think of how the Old Testament Jews with their repeated animal blood sacrifices could not put an end to their sins. And repeated spankings . . . ARE they doing anything to help? Yes, I believe the Bible says to use the rod of correction, but correction includes you two being examples *in the sight of God*, so you have God working with you > "nor as being lords over those entrusted to you, but being examples to the flock." (1 Peter 5:3) |
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---Bill_bila5659 on 3/5/09 |
Maybe he has unconsciously found that this is a way of punishing you for spanking him.
How fequently do yuo spank him, and for what offences? |
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---alan8566_of_UK on 3/5/09 |
You need to remember that he is little, he can't hold it like an older child. Please be very careful when spanking your child. I believe it is better to use the very end of a belt to spank with, and not beat, but spank. Why? because you are less likely to hurt them on the inside. I would take a belt and roll it up to just 3 or 4 inches. Especially if I am mad. |
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---a_freind on 3/5/09 |
Sounds like dad, especially, is being too rough on the kid. |
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---Mary on 3/4/09 |
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