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I Have Been Married Twice

I've been married twice now and I was wondering if my first marriage which ended with physical abuse and adultry was it a sin to remarry? The physical abuse and adultry was committed by the both of us.

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 ---Jennifer on 3/6/09
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I saw the word adultery: all I can give is my experience. My wife decided she got married and had 2 children too young. She left and filed for divorce. I fought the divorce until we were talking and she said she had been faithful until she filed! Now weather this was to force my hand or true. After the divorce it was true. Jer 3:1 paraphrased if a spouce leaves and remarries and is put away again they are not to return to the first spouce. Do not take a widow in under 60? let the young women remarry. Some people are called to be eunuchs. It is better to marry than burn, so it is your conscience that will be the guide.
---Don on 5/13/09


the cross is bigger than all the wrong that we have done. get up repent and move on in the light.
---arthur on 5/3/09


No, it was not a sin to remarry. I remember reading somewhere in the Bible that Jesus said, except for adultery, you should not divorce someone. Now lately I have had a difficult time finding those verses. So I am unsure.
---Amanda on 4/16/09


Mary of Magdalene and her introduction to Christ is a wonderful example that we can and are forgiven.

Christ asked all those who would stone her if they had never committed a sin before, and if they hadn't, then throw the stone. Each dropped their stones and walked away.

Only you can make that decision to come to Christ fully and ask for forgiveness. You must be the one willing to do the footwork and turn everything else over to the Lord.

Not a one of us here are innocent in life. But if we are willing to change and follow the Lord's example, then we too are given that second chance at eternal life.
---Lesla3685 on 3/31/09


Repent of your sin from the heart and you will be forgiven. Adultry and abuse are sins but is you sincerly repent you will be forgiven. I use to struggle with the same question. Think about it.. here is one example of forgiven adultry: David... he commited adultry yet was a man after Gods own heart... he repented and was then in Gods favor. Since my husband and I have surrenderd everything to God, our lives have been so blessed. I am not saying that we haven't been effected by the economy but God has had His hand on all that coms our way and every trial that we go through is for His glory. Every trial is to "refine" us. Give your worries to God.
---Steph on 3/29/09




Could you please deal with your statement that is Biblically incorrect as highlighted, if you are going to give advice at the very least is could line up with scripture. You then need not be ashamed of your answer, to lead some one to salvation is one thing Spiritual death is another!
---Carla3939 on 3/12/09


**How about children who there parents marry them without there choice .**

I assume you're talking about arranged marriages.

These were the NORM in Biblical times. The "love" that motivated marriage was the love for one's parents and family, and doing one's duty.

This is what makes the New Testament command (that sounds so self-evident for us today) for husbands to love their wives so revolutionary at the time it was written.

Marrying for love is a relatively recent phenomenon in human history.
---katavasia on 3/12/09


**
2Ti 2:15
Study to shew thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth
---Carla3939 on 3/11/09**

Did you know that "study" in this context does NOT mean academic and intellectual application, as "study" usually means today?

It means "strive".

Didn't you know that?
---katavasia on 3/11/09


Marraige is between male & female, if one party breaks that vow, that marriage would end, one party cannot be married. It is important to establish how the marriage started. How about children who there parents marry them without there choice . It is important to know which marriage Christ said to His disciples in matt: 19 vs 11....."but He said unto them,all men cannot receive this saying,save they to whom it is given " Therefore we could conclude that not all marriges are of the Lord so not all divorces God is against.The christian church has been guilty of of painting all marriages and divorces with one broad brush. You go on serving the Lord in spirit and in truth, that is what matters.
---mike on 3/11/09


** I too was married to men who abused, both physically and verbally and I ask this same question when The Holy Spirit told me that I was getting married the 3rd time. He simply made me to see that the first two were not marriages designed or desinated by my FATHER in heaven, **

It's interesting that the Holy Spirit told you EXACTLY what you wanted to hear.

Can you give us book, chapter, and verse where Jesus makes an exception for "marriages that were not designed or seinated [sic]" by God?
---katavasia on 3/11/09




Both or only one...both of you are guilty so, both should have remain single. If you had not done this awful unthinkable sin, then you would had been free to marry again, if your spouse were guilty. I hope that I have explained this well. Ask God to forgive you. He is a just God, too.
---catherine on 3/11/09


If it's ok for two Christians to live in an arrangement that Jesus condemned as adultery, as long as they make it honoring to the Lord,---katavasia on 3/10/09

Mat 19:9
And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except [it be] for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.

2Ti 2:15
Study to shew thyself approved unto God, a workman that needeth not to be ashamed, rightly dividing the word of truth
---Carla3939 on 3/11/09


Hi Carla, do you mean she is supposed to leave husband #2 and go back to husband #1?! Somehow I would think that is a mighty bitter and confusing pill to swallow.
---Mary on 3/10/09


** If it was a sin, you can't unscramble an egg. Confess it to the Lord, and work toward making this second marriage honoring to the Lord.**

If it's ok for two Christians to live in an arrangement that Jesus condemned as adultery, as long as they make it honoring to the Lord, on the grounds that you can't unscramble an egg, would it be ok for two men or two women to live together, considering that Jesus said NOTHING about this in the Gospels?

How about a Christian retaining stolen money or property? Is it all right as long as he confesses it and uses these stolen goods to honor the Lord?
---katavasia on 3/10/09


Except the wife committed fornication. Period there are no other op out clauses for re-marriage other than Death, both will be Adulterers.

You are to remain single or reconsile

Corinthians 7, matth 5 , Mark 10,Romans 7, Revelation, Luke, Romans 5.
---Carla3939 on 3/9/09


"was it a sin to remarry?"
Jesus does not condemn you.
"Hast thou faith? have [it] to thyself before God. Happy [is] he that condemneth not himself in that thing which he 'alloweth.' or scrutinised (to see whether that thing was genuine or not)"
"Go and sin no more."
---josef on 3/8/09


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Jennifer:-Since you cannot unscramble an egg then the addition of another also gets scrambled with the same result.Do two wrongs make a right?Satan always makes the second one rosy but he cannot undo the result.Matt19:10-11, two in one flesh cannot be separated.Genesis2:24 and so it was from the beginning of time.
---MIC on 3/7/09


Neither the divorce or remarriage was a sin. There are spiritual guidelines for divorce. The relationship described meets those guidelines.
We must realize that the scriptures were written to God's people. Sins committed prior to knowing God are not imputed against us.

The fact that you are seeking counsel from others tells me that you have not placed this matter on the altar before the Lord. Give this to Jesus and He will heal you.
---Richard on 3/7/09


I too was married to men who abused, both physically and verbally and I ask this same question when The Holy Spirit told me that I was getting married the 3rd time. He simply made me to see that the first two were not marriages designed or desinated by my FATHER in heaven, it was a self choice both times. Thus, with a repentive heart and a humbled Spirit I ask my FATHER to forgive my disobedient and selfish ways. He did and I know HE did because I have been married to my 3rd husband for 16 years and we have never argued or experienced anything like the past. We just love each other, because we are loved by God and He put us together forever. If you need to know more, just ask. It is my testimony.
---Brenda on 3/7/09


Thank you I was just wanting to know cause I know that it says in the bible that if a man should put away his wife and another man marries her that it would also be considered adultry. assuming adultry was involved.
---Jennifer on 3/6/09


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Jennifer....Thank you for your honesty in admitting that the physical abuse and adultery was not one-sided. So many times on these blogs we hear only the negative things about the spouse. If you were not a Christian before your first divorce, your sins were all forgiven when you accepted Jesus Christ and became born again. If you were a Christian, the Lord will still forgive your sins. Jesus died on the cross for all your sins---not just a few. When our sins are forgiven it is if they never occurred as far as God is concerned. So, stop worrying about your past and start living for the Lord without looking back.
---SusieB on 3/6/09


If it was a sin, you can't unscramble an egg. Confess it to the Lord, and work toward making this second marriage honoring to the Lord.
---Trish9863 on 3/6/09


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