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How To Be A Submissive Wife

How can I become submissive when I am carrying the load for both of us financially. He is jobless and I am on unemployment. He is a Christian, but drinks, etc. at times and disrespects me. He needs to totally revamp his life. I need him to walk more like a God-fearing man. Am I being unfair?

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 ---Ginger on 4/1/09
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I am in the same place right now. I attend celebrate recovery and I am now starting to attend al anon. I pray Eph. 1 And 4 and 1 corn 3 daily for my husband. I could not keep my mouth shutand support him so I left.We pray togeather. He talks on the phone and I listen.I encourage him with Gods truth. I dont fix him. I amwatching him go down and one day he will hit the bottom. I take care of my part focusing on God and me.Changes God is making what he is teching me.I no longer dwell on him or how to fix him. God is clear he works out or salvation.i also pray for strongholds to be broken and generational curses to be broken.
---ginger on 6/3/09

I bathe us in prayer. I hold ever thought captive and test it to Gods word Return to Lord and pray then I speakI tell the truth in brotherly Love. Get help. Get a mentor sponsor wise counsel from men at church, pastor. I accept the fact that he has free will. Hard to do. I wait on the Lord and I am joyful because He will complete the good work He began upon Christ Jesus return. It is along slow road process but God is faithful to give us the desires of our heart.but we must not grow weary. I also dont deny my self to him for I know neither of us needs to be temted during this seperation.
---ginger on 6/3/09

From what God says in the Bible:
We are to be submissive as the wife
"IF" the man treats his wife as though it were his own how can a drinking man do that???? God gave us Wisdom and we are to use it.
---Gabby on 6/3/09

Ginger: There are about three conflicting themes in your short question with the first line of your question being the most confusing. Just from the phrasing of your question alone it sounds as if both of you could benefit from a deeper understanding of the Christian life. Find a good Christian mentor or counselor for both of you and seek out a strong fellowship of believers.
---TIMOTHY on 4/6/09

Become submissive by submitting to scripture's instructions to wives first. Do what "you" are supposed to and let Father handle your husband. Father can use your benevolence toward your husband in winning him over and strengthening your marriage. Bitterness, however, is what the adversary uses to tear it (and your husband) down. Don't focus on what you're getting, but focus on obedience by showing your husband unconditional respect. Not because he's earned it, but because your role, according to scripture, is to respect him. Want him to be God-fearing? Well, take your eyes off him and place your expectation solely on the Father. Focus on being God-fearing yourself by following his instruction...regardless of appearances.
---AlwaysOn on 4/5/09

Sister, is your church supporting by teaching the Christian walk? Does your husband know his place as head of your household? It is important to know the way God wants us to live. It is imperative you know how to be strong as a wife, not ever weak in God's word. Please read the last Proverb about a woman in God's eye. Strong in faith and marriage, responsible for her part of the marriage, supportive of her husband and his position (if you don't allow him that space, why would he fill it?). Yet, if you feel you have been and done what you should, ask him to seek help for your marriage. Show love even if you have to back away for your protection. (I don't know your situation). If he is willing, seek council in your family walk with God.
---mikefl on 4/3/09

Keep praying and...

Do. Serve him with all your mind, heart and soul. Do it to glorify God not your husband. Do not let up for one moment. Do not quit. Do an online KJV bible search for "one another," "each other," and "encourag," for living a christian life is a 24/7 lifestyle - not a once a week pep talk that denominational "churches" dish out.

Praying you and yours peace of mind, joy of spirit, good health and many great friends to share them with in Jesus' name.
---Steveng on 4/3/09

Well, you can submit to God for how He makes you the way a Christian wife needs to be. This way, you are ready, in case he ever is ready to relate with sense and be sensitive with you. And even if he doesn't, you will be able to relate well with others who are Christian > "submitting to one another in the fear of God." (Ephesians 5:21) "nor as being lords over those entrusted to you, but being examples to the flock." (1 Peter 5:3) As I think Donna means > *you* change > "rather let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God." (1 Peter 3:4) This can spread to effect him, too.
---Bill_bila5659 on 4/3/09

Her post does not say she told him to revamp his life. I believe she is telling us how she feels. Last, she is acting like a God fearing woman by trying to save her marriage.
---pg1 on 4/3/09

If you want your husband to "walk more like a God-fearing man" then you will need to walk more like a God-fearing woman. Telling your husband that he needs to totally revamp his life is not the way to do it.
---SusieB on 4/1/09

Get involved in a Women's Bible Study at your church, and ask an older, mature Christian woman to mentor and disciple you, as it describes in Titus 2. Pray together and ask the Lord to show you ways to submit.

Also, visit Al-Anon and learn how other families cope with alcoholism in their lives. Alcoholism destroys families, and causes a lot of unnecessary heartache.

Seek marital therapy where you can discuss your husband's drinking with an objective third party who can help your husband assess his drinking behaviors and determine treatment options.
---Trish9863 on 4/1/09

Ginger I know I couldn't do it. I tried in my marriage to submit to my husband, but when he became sexually abusive, watched demonic shows all the time, never prayed with me, what I did was I maintained my own walk with the Lord and I suggest you do the same.

Get yourself quiet and go and worship God, Praise Him for who He is and Worship Him with a song or two, then pray. You can pour your heart out to the Lord by saying, Lord I want to be submissive here, but it's too hard. Show me how.
To be honest, how can us women be submissive to men who drink, act unruly, sexually abuse us even though I know that isn't your situation.
YOU CHANGE FIRST - then he will see a Godly woman and God will work on his heart next.
---donna8365 on 4/1/09

We are to be submissive to our Heavenly husband first, your earthly husband needs lots of prayer and I suggest you just allow yourself the freedom to share your heart with him in one of his good moments. The only way he will revamp his life is for his family and friends to cover him in prayer. Pray over him with a Praise to the Father for the husband that you desire to have, The word says" he will give you the desires of your heart" However you want your husband to be, just thank God everyday for that kind of man for him to become. It works.
---Brenda on 4/1/09

Rules for Christian Households
Colossians 3:18-4:1
Ephesians 5:22-69

Wine, overeating, laziness
Proverbs 23:20-21

Husbands and responsibilities to households
1 Corinthians 11:3

I would also direct you to read the story of Ruth - a woman of virtue.

Alcoholism leads to being jobless and also will cause a christian to fall away from the Lord. Talk to him when he is sober. Tell him what you need also. Don't make excuses however for a disease. Insist that he gets help.

I'll keep you in my prayers.
---lesla3685 on 4/1/09

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