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My Wife Wants A Divorce

My wife has been seeing someone else and has left me and she wants a divorce. What would Jesus do? I don't understand the scriptures well on this topic.

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 ---darren on 4/17/09
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Seek God. He will lead and guide you. He did me.My husband told me he didn't know if he wanted to be married, then several months later,says he thinks he wantsa divorce but of course on certain conditions. I know what God spoke to me was Stand and See the salvation of your marriage. I knew my husband was having an affair which him/her denied for months on end (18 mo or more). For me, i had to decide what i didn't want to decide what i wanted,finally told my husband if he didn't want to be married to me, let's start selling everything we owned and get this over with and both of us get on with our lives. Within a few weeks, his relationship with other woman ended//i am still married to him and am working on my marriage being restored. SEEK GOD.
---jodollie on 11/11/09

Jesus was never married.

In reality, if she wants a divorce you leagally can't stop her.

What I would suggest is going into counciling with whomever your wife wants to go with. You may be better off going to a non-christian secular counsoler, who is a professional in this area of expertease since most priests and pastors lack such training. Also, pastors and priest tend to get off focus by concentrating on the sins of the man rather than offering constructive solutions.
---Daniel on 10/23/09

1) Jesus would never hold anyone down against their will. This is why salvation is by faith -an action of our human will: Rom. 10: 9-10.
(2) Your wife, according to the Word of God has departed: 1 Cor. 7: 12-15. The implication of her action according to the above Scriptural advice is that she is an unbeliever (not a Christian), therefore you are to allow her to go, without contesting it in a court of law or taking any legal action. The Bible says God has called us to peace. It also says where the unbeliever departs, the Christian spouse (brother or sister) is NOT under bondage to them anymore. you're free- that is(to remarry), but only to a child of God this time. God bless u!
---olana7863 on 10/23/09

Romans 14:17-19, 2Thessalonians 3:16, 2Timothy 2:22, James 3:17-18.
Jesus prohibited divorce except for adultery, that included lying about ones virginity. The non adulterer could remarry. The adulterer, and anyone marrying one, is entering a prohibited marriage. A divorce without cause, was no divorce, and so, another marriage was a type of bigamy. The exception is in 1Corinthians 7:15. If the unbeliever departs, the Christian can remarry because the marriage was not 'in the Lord'. Remarriage: Matthew 19:9, 1Corinthians 7:27-28.
Deuteronomy 22:17-19, 28-29, 24:1-4, Proverbs 2:17 (forsaketh husband), Isaiah 54:4-8, Jeremiah 3:1, Malachi 2:14-16, Matthew 5:31-32, 19:3-12, Mark 10:2-12, Luke 16:18, 1Corinthians 6:15-16, 7:10-17, 27-28.
---Glenn on 10/21/09

My prayers go out to you. Please do not fall into the unbiblical trap that Jesus created an exception for divorce if your wife cheats on you. Such an exception does not exist, and virutally no church father for 1600 years believed in such an exception. Not enough room here to explain how faulty the interpretation of scriptures claiming this exception are. If she is willing to stay with you, forgive her and stay together. If she is not willing, your options are pretty much limited to prayer and making sure she knows that she is welcome back. You can't control her. If she files for divorce you don't have an option of refusing to agree. But you don't have the option of divorcing her if you want to be obedient to God's teaching on this matter.
---Jim on 10/21/09

I would do everything i could to prevent a divorce. God Hates Divorce. I would seek god in fasting and prayer for wisdom . If she has defrauded you , in otherwords, cheated on you ,you have the option of divorce. Divorce outside of adultery is a selfish act that seeks self fulfillment and pleasure. I would warn anyone seeking to marry someone who has been divorced seek out the reasons why and the nature of the divorce. You don't want to enter into their sin as the bible says. We live in a whatever feels good and what is good for me generation. Love is sacrifice, loyalty , committment, long suffering. God help us
---don on 6/22/09

What would Jesus do? I have to say, it's a brilliant question and you should be proud on your behalf. The reason being, it stirs the comments away from questioning what they would do, what they think you should do...and turns this into a discussion of what people think Jesus would do. And you cannot get much better than that! :D So bravo!!

*Ahem*...anyways...This is what I think Jesus would do:

I think Jesus would let her go. Jesus would accept and move on with his life. However mind you, this would be after deciding what he wants. He would ask himself what do I want, and how does it effect who I am? Out of this, he could decide a number of things...including to fight for his women, play victim, demand she come back to him, etc.
---Katherine on 6/20/09

---amand6348 on 4/19/09

Sue her! Is that what your bible says, People beware of false teachers, they are among us, even peter was possessed by satan(mat16:23)(Luke 4:8). Your statement right there openly shows your ignorance to scripture but it's not your fault.God says Not to take your brother to law(1cor6:1-6).To those who are sued, god says let them take whatever they want(Mat5:40). Rather if you need to resolve a matter, take it to the elders.
---metuschelah on 6/18/09

---amand6348 on 4/19/09

Part 3
when god said "saving for the cause of fornication" in (Mat 5:32), spiritually speaking, fornication is spiritual sin/death which as you should remember was what israel commited/did against god, they sinned against god (Jer 3:38)(Eze 16:31). So fornication is death, which is the ONLY reason one is free from the bond of marriage (rom 7:2) (1cor 7:39). Let him that has wisdom understand the truth of god.
---metuschelah on 6/17/09

---amand6348 on 4/19/09

(1cor2:13)" When one reads the bible, they have to search the sriptures and compare spiritual things with spiritual things. People always want to us (mat5:32) as the basis for divorce, well guest what! it's not!. God does not con tradict himself. It is man's pride that causeth him to miss GOD"S truth. Why would god tell us to love our brother as ourselves yet to allow us to put each other away in divorce, when he said he hateth putting away. And god even tells us to forgive each other 70 times 7 (mat 18:21). Is god contradicting himself here. I don't think so. It is our blindness to spiritual truth that causeth us not to see (mat 13:13).
---metuschelah on 6/17/09

---amand6348 on 4/19/09
Well, if she has cheated on you you can divorce her.
However, if you really love her this might be a test. .. Bring proof to court that she has cheated on you. I think that you can even sue her if you want.

*I'm not sure what bible you or any false teachers here read because your words here shows that i's not THE BIBLE . [Before I first answer your blog let's first lay some ground works.] We have to remember that god uses parables to speak to us (Mar 4:34)"But without a parable spake he not unto them: and when they were alone, he expounded all things to his disciples.
---metuschelah on 6/17/09

God helped me get my wife back . Become a fool that you may become wise. Many of you here are stuck up fundamentalists who don't know God anymore. Fundamentalism is a demonic spirit that may of caused us a ruined marriage. I pray God will remove the curse of fundamentalism from those who read this.
---Static on 4/27/09

Listen don't let others cloud your vision of who you are, we can only speculate from your post all is as you post but intelligent people know there is always Always two sides to every story.

So do yourself a favour and google online bible and type:

1. Fornication

2. Adultery



Anyone can give opinion but it's what the bible says that will set you free because it is the truth. And only the real truth will set you free.

Happy reading theres Loads on the subject form Isreal/one having his own mother (fornication) then you'll be able to make a Well informed choice!
---Carla3939 on 4/23/09

God does not force people to be faithful and to be blessed, instead people choose sin and to be damned on their own. Tell her, "Marriage honorable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge." Hebrews 13:4.
---Eloy on 4/23/09

If you love someone, set them free if they come back its meant to be. My 1st wife commited adultry in 1992. We lasted until 2000 and she left. Remarried a year later and bout to go through it again. I feel for you but if she's determined you prob can't change her mind. Peace and may God bless
---Michael on 4/22/09

If she has left you for another man give her a divorce. You cannot force her to be true to her vows. Thank God for your deliverance and draw closer to Him. Get a STD and HIV test as soon as you can.
---Emmanuel on 4/20/09

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This recently happened to me, brother. I got angry at God. I couldn't understand why He would let this happen. If your wife committed adultery, even in her eyes, then you have grounds for divorce biblically. THE ONLY REASON! Now you must choose... forgiveness What's really important? divorce and unforgiveness, or forgiving the only woman you truly love and asked to marry you when you looked in her eyes? It hurts, I know! How we gonna show the rest of the world divorce is just too easy to do, and marriage is probably the hardest, but you can some day claim you've been married 50+ years thru ALL hardships? Isn't that what marriage is? Be slow to speak, be slow to anger... No divorce! Prevent it, my brother... be one of the few left...
---David on 4/20/09

"What would Jesus do": Any answer to this question would require assumptions based on the character and teachings of Jesus because he never faced this situation personally. The more pertinent question is what does the Bible say about divorce and my interpretation is that it would be allowed in this case due to adultery and abandonement. I usually advocate to try to work this out however given your very brief explanation above it would seem to be a futile situation. So my best advice is to seek immediate counseling and allow her to continue on with the divorce if that is what she wants. There really is no Biblical or legal way to stop her anyway.
---TIMOTHY on 4/20/09

Mat 19:9 says: And I say unto you, Whosoever shall put away his wife, except [it be] for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery.

Is this scripture really saying if you divorce for reason of fornication or adultery, you can remarry?

Because I thought the Apostle Paul said, if she leaves, she is to remain single and then he said a wife is bound to her husband as long as he is alive (even if a divorce certificate was issued, God still sees them as ONE FLESH, right? I think I'm confused.
Bible Scholars, please weigh in, thank you.
---donna8365 on 4/20/09

Darren, I am sorry to hear of your problem. The final decision is between you, your wife and God. While the situation as you have stated it would allow for you to divorce your wife, God's ultimate desire is for you to repair the damages and seek counsel, particularly if you and your wife are both believers. Your wife's actions present a cause for doubt in this but, I don't want to be judgemental. If she is not a believer, the Apostle Paul clearly states that "if an unbeliever wants to leave the marriage, let them go." My prayers are with you and your wife in this matter that you may abide by the true will of God. I hope this little bit helps.
---tommy3007 on 4/20/09

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Well, if she has cheated on you you can divorce her.

However, if you really love her this might be a test. You should fight this with all that is in you. And if it comes to the worst, know your rights. Look up your rights online. Bring proof to court that she has cheated on you. I think that you can even sue her if you want.
---amand6348 on 4/19/09

I am very sorry about your circumstances. You cannot make your wife come back to you anymore than you could have forced her to marry you in the first place. But I would encourage you to take proper actions, no matter what she does or anyone else does. Jesus continually had others doing and saying goofy things. He did not respond in kind. Please make this a time to grow in the Word--get in a Bible study,and stay in God's Word.
Hang in there.
---Bill on 4/18/09

Ask her one question, as you deserve to know what made you so "rotten" to stay with and the other bloke so much better to hang around.

"What as so wrong or what did I do that made me not good enough to be your husband anymore? "

Tell her to give you that much so at least you will have closure and can move on, and not to be such a coward and run away from a covenant you two made.

Be prepared as you might not like what you hear if she oblidges and tells you. The truth will set you free but first it will tick you off terrible.

From there, if you see a light to make amends take it and work on it. If not, I'm sorry for your new found bachelorhood.
---Nicola on 4/18/09

Mat 19:9

According to the word of God [except] fornication if you marry again you commit adultery. Your wife has comitted Fornication so if you marry again it is not adultery for you the Husband of a wife who comitted the fornication.
---Carla3939 on 4/18/09

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The Bible teaches that in cases of infidelity, a marriage can be dissolved. Since your wife is committing adultery, it is ok to divorce. I cannot tell you what to do however. It would seem that if she wants a divorce, then divorce is eminent. I am sorry for your pain. My only advice is to seek God diligently through, reading the Bible, prayer, praise and if you can find a Christian group to fellowship with, do that too. Blessings to you. :)
---jody on 4/17/09

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