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Thinking About Being Obedient

Sometimes it feels like God is leading me to let my husband take his place as the "head" of our marriage. What is hindering me is the fact that women I meet who believe in this are bitter and possessive in their own marriages. What do you think could be the reason/reasons they act this way?

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 ---Amanda on 5/11/09
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It's a man's God-given job to be responsible for headship of the family and home. It's awesome for men to be able to do this. They get to fulfill what God designed for them to do and the wife experiences so much freedom in letting him take his rightful place. Let him do what he was wired by God to do and get some new girlfriends who want to enjoy the blessings of being under the cover of godly protection too.
---Vicki on 5/12/09

Thanks Alan. Augie I am not the bitter and possessive one. I was in a church where a woman acted possessive over the pastor and it turned me off to that church. To me it's like the woman feels like "I've worked so hard to be his door mat, I am not going to let another woman take my place." I didn't even want her husband. I have my own.

Thanks for your responses. Some of them seemed reasonable, especially the one about different types of motivation.
---Amanda on 5/12/09

Amanda: It is not up to you to let your husband be the head of the marriage, that is not your decision, God has already commanded and ordained that. God established the marriage rules and whether or not you "let" them happen is irrelevant, they are still there and will always be a stumbling block for you if you don't follow them. If this is to remain a Christian union then you have no choice but to follow God's design for marriage, this advice goes double for your husband as his responsibility in this equation is essential. I would suggest a good Christian counselor now before it is to late.
---TIMOTHY on 5/12/09

Obedience: 'If you love me keep my commandments.' It has been my understanding that on earth we become one before God. But from my observation: 30 years of prayer meetings, women listen to God quicker than men.
If the husband is taking his place as the head or priest of the household, then this would be a mote point, he would be the leader. You can submit to his leading but if it is away from God's principles you have placed him between you and God's word. The Word of God is of no private interpretation. The believing spouse takes presidence or the children would be unclean. Other than the privilege to sing in our choir no one lets me do anything. I do what I know I should do.
---Don on 5/12/09

If your husband was making fair and just decisions that were not self-serving, you would follow them WILLINGLY and not have to "OBEY".

If my father told me to drink a refreshing glass of water, "obedience" wouldn't be necessary, I would do it WILLINGLY.

This is the principle of obedience.

A person who is NOT A REBELLIOUS TROUBLEMAKER (is a good hearted person) will not resist doing a good thing, but they will resist doing a bad thing (then they will be told that they must OBEY).

God tells us to do GOOD things (they are "MANDATES", it is only the REBELLIOUS that need think of them as "COMMANDS" (Ephesians 2:15, James 1:25, 2:12).
---more_excellent_way on 5/12/09

Hi, Amanda . . . you are his helpmate > help him to find how you two can do this. You two are a unique couple, unlike anyone else in how you relate and share together, so it is for you two to find out how to do this. You are getting reports from women who are doing it wrong, so of course they're going to say it has been bad. But bitterness can not be trusted. We can not trust anything we are thinking and feeling and concluding while we are worried, bitter, hurt, unforgiving, etc. About if it can be good for him to trust you with decisions > Proverbs 31:11 says,

"The heart of her husband safely trusts her,
.So he will have no lack of gain."
---Bill_bila5659 on 5/11/09

Let's get back to biblical basics - without the need to compare yourself to others. What are the biblical duties of a husband? A wife? What is a marriage?

When asking questions and finding answers include both you and your spouse. Learn together so that the both of you are on same path going in the same direction. Don't let your learning be one sided.

Also, do an online KJV bible search for "one another," "each other," and "encourg" because living a christian life is a 24/7 lifestyle - not a once a week pep talk dished out by denominational "churches."

Praying you and yours peace of mind, joy of spirit, good health, and many great friends to share them with in Jesus' name.
---Steveng on 5/11/09

The women you know are probably not motivated purely by the Holy Spirit. They are saying they believe it, but working out of the flesh and that creates bitterness in their hearts. If they truly were motivated by the Holy Spirit and a desire to be obedient to HIM, they would not be bitter, but would reflect peace in their countenance.
---Trish9863 on 5/11/09

A wife who feelsshe "has to" let her husband be head of the household in all matters is likely feel rather resentful, when she knows that in certain aspects se is the better one to make decisions.

(e.g. which nursery to send their young child to ... she is the one who will have talked to all the other mums in the area, whom she has known from ante-natal classes on. She is the one who will have had the time to visit & investigate all the available nurseries!)

So she should make the decision.

Sadly, I know some men who will not permit wife to act or decide any aspect of their lives. Any intelligent woman will be concerned if she's not allowed to decide even if she is far more qualified to do so.
---alan8566_of_UK on 5/11/09


Bitterness and Possessiveness are "red" flags that Satan has a grip on you. Time to seek God in prayer.
---Augie on 5/11/09

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