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Spanking Young Teenagers

Should young teenagers be spanked?

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Many of you choose to overlook the obvious fact that Jesus did not tell us to hit our children.
---Betty on 4/19/10


Christina, you will have kids that resent you when they grow up, not so much for spanking them as for not allowing them to wear underwear, just so you can easily access their bare bottoms!!
---Mary on 4/19/10


I remember the first time my dad took me over his knee. I was 5. I put a scratch on a new dresser. After he gave me the speech of "this will hurt me more...", he commenced to spanking. I guess his measure when to stop was when he drew tears. After a while, I was getting board so, I had to drum up some tears for him to stop.

You see, I have this ability to take a hit. I am 8 out of nine with 5 older brothers, two sisters and a baby brother. I can take a hit. That was the last time my dad spanked me. My dad had learned his lesson.
---aka_joseph on 4/18/10


"I tell my teens : if you act like a child then you get punished like a child with Pants Down & Bottoms Up"
christina
Christina, do you also summit yourself to the same kind of punishment when you do wrong?
There comes a time that you transfer from corporal punishment to something different. You can never train a teen to accept adulthood when you treat them like little children.
Your statement proves my point that most parents are not disciplined when they try to discipline their children.
---Elder on 4/18/10


I'm a mom of 6 . every body gets spanked when needed. I only let my kids wear elastic waisted pants, so I have access to their BARE BOTTOMS when they need discipline . I tell my teens : if you act like a child then you get punished like a child with Pants Down & Bottoms Up
---christina on 4/18/10




Jody, I'm sorry you and so many others had to go through so much. I had no dad and my mom was father and mother to us. And when my mother got after me she would hit me with a clothes hanger. I had bruses all over my arms and legs. I know that many times she was wrong in what she did but I'm thankful to God first, that I came through ok and thankful to mom that she disciplined me. I would have gone to prison like some of my friends. I believe my mom did what she though was right at the time, so I have nothing whatsoever against her. She worked hard to take care of us and I'm also thankful that she never left us anywhere for good and abandon us. She was young could have just walked away from us but didn't. It was hard times for her.
---MarkV. on 4/18/10


Betty-- Sorry, "turning the other cheek" (no pun intended) has nothing to do with child rearing. You do not punish a child because he hurt you and you want to hurt him back.
You punish, maybe even spank, if he has has done something wrong...even though he knew better . If punishment is given properly, it is not a selfish act (and this applies to spanking)
---Donna66 on 4/17/10


Hi, I agree with you Jody, I'm just so sorry you went through all that. I pray God has healed your heart today, love and hugs, Mary
---Mary on 4/17/10


Well, I was spanked "bare tushed" with a belt often as a child. I remember feelings of helplessness, hate, anger and humiliation. I became shy, withdrawn and depressed by age 14. It took many years to overcome some of the bad things that happened in my childhood including regular "thrashings". Truth is that I wasn't even a bad kid:) Now, I do not believe in spanking on any type of routine basis. I spanked my daughter only once and she had her clothes on. There are so many other methods of discipline that are effective. I think some people are slap-happy at the expense of a childs heathy development.
---jody on 4/16/10


and some people misuse it for their own gain.

What Jesus said in total was, "Woe unto you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! for ye pay tithe of mint and anise and cummin, and have omitted the weightier matters of the law, judgment, mercy, and faith: these ought ye to have done, and not to leave the other undone. Ye blind guides, which strain at a gnat, and swallow a camel."

You have made my point about righteousness through single verse. I see his point. What is yours?
---aka_joseph on 4/16/10




joseph- Jesus said, "Ye blind guides which strain at a gnat, and swallow a camel...." Matthew 23: 24. God said He would magnify the law. Jesus expounded the law.
---Betty on 4/16/10


Betty, MarkV's responses are adequate for your questions, but I will address one question. WWJD should really be WWJND. What would Jesus NOT do? He would not cherry pick Scripture, then call it a grape when he found the one he was looking for that suited His needs.

Please Betty, take some time and meditate in God's whole Word. The Bible is full of cherries and other Fruits, so enjoy them all.
---aka_joseph on 4/16/10


Betty, I think you are taking this a little far with your questions. How could Jesus spank His kids when He didn't have any children of His own. And if you are speaking of God, He chastizes all of His children and if someone is not been chastize then they are not His children. Sometimes those chastizes are worse then a little, "don't do this or don't do that" Chastizement comes in many different ways. Sometimes God permits us to get into sin to corrects us and those sins we get into have grave consequences. Maybe in your case you did not have to do much decipline so all you did was talk, but your occasion is not like very one elses.
---MarkV. on 4/15/10


If the Bible is written from the opinion's and point-of-view of man besides the red letters and only the red letters are important, than the Bible is a huge wast of paper and time.

Since the Scriptures are Spirit-breathed, I think Proverbs and any word written in the Bible are a little more than man's opinion.

How can one hear if the whole song is not sung?
---aka_joseph on 4/15/10


joseph- It is proper to correct children with words & guide them with love & God's word (Ephesians 6:4). Hitting them is a direct violation of Jesus Christ commands: (1) offending little ones (2) turning the other cheek. WWJD? Would and did Jesus Christ spank children? Is there any command He gave to spank them?
---Betty on 4/15/10


Nancyf - very good and applicable in all 3 defs.

betimes (b-tmz)
adv.
1. At a good time, early.
2. Once in a while, on occasion.
3. Archaic Quickly, soon.

Betty - I agree with MarkV. This seems to be way out of context. In fact, by not disciplining our children, we are putting a noose around their neck.
---aka_joseph on 4/15/10


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markv & Nancyf & to whom it may concern: The opinions in Proverbs are man's, not God's direct word. What Jesus Himself said is more meaningful than Proverbs, etc. According to the Bible, a man (Old Testament) cut his daughter in pieces & sent the pieces throughout Israel. Was it because God approved of the matter that it happened, or was it not a horrible crime the father committed? The man did his will, not God's. The man in Proverbs stated his opinion, not God's. Jesus Christ is God, and He stated His will & opinion. He who has an ear, let him hear, etc.
---Betty on 4/15/10


Proverbs 13:24
He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes.

Now tell me, does 'betimes' mean an age? Or wouldn't you be past the 'rod' when they become teenagers and need reasonable talk and 'grounding' for the teaching of responsibity? You tell me.
---Nancyf on 4/15/10


Betty, I don't know why you gave Luke 17:1-3 since it has nothing to do with teenagers or children being descipline. Luke 17 begans with Jesus talking to the Father about His glorification and authority given to Him.
In your words of Jesus, it did not say not to descipline the children, but to love them. Descipline is an act of Love for your children. I'm not talking about abuse but about descipline. If your child was hitting other children, would you just let it go? And when he did it again and again would you still let it go? No you wouldn't. For the love of the other children you would make sure it did not happen again, and for the love of your child you would correct him.
---MarkV. on 4/15/10


markv- Jesus Christ said, "It is impossible but that offences will come: but woe unto him, through whom they come! It were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and he cast into the sea, than that he should offend one of these little ones. Take heed to yourselves: If thy brother trespass against thee, rebuke him, and if he repent, forgive him." Luke 17: 1-3.
---Betty on 4/14/10


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Well said, markV
Even the Heavenly Father has to discipline His children from time to time. And it is a sign, He loves us. Though He doesn't dole out physical "spankings" His correction does sting. It brings us back to a proper position of humility.

Hebrews 12:7-9 (King James Version)

If ye endure chastening, God dealeth with you as with sons, for what son is he whom the father chasteneth not?
But if ye be without chastisement, whereof all are partakers, then are ye bastards, and not sons.
Furthermore we have had fathers of our flesh which corrected us, and we gave them reverence: shall we not much rather be in subjection unto the Father of spirits, and live?
---Donna66 on 4/13/10


Betty, there is a difference with your interpretation of hitting and spanking. Spanking is when a child does not mind and does the opposite of what you tell him. He rebels against you and as a parent you are to correct him. Hitting is when you just take a punch at someone for no good reason. Luke 6:31 says, " And just as you want men to do to you you also do to them likewise" It does not mean if someone abuses me, I should abuse them back. What it does mean is to love our neighbors and treat them as we would like to be treated. A child is not our neighbor and we don't discipline our neighbors. We discipline our children for their own good for good reason.
---MarkV. on 4/13/10


Remember that kid that messed up in Singapore ...thrashing with a rattan cane across his BARE TUSH ! do you think he'll ever spray graffiti again

I'd be willing to bet he won't ever spray graffiti again.
But just to play devil's advocate (pardon the expression)... there are those (such as in Singapore) who think it is better to punish harshly enough to prevent any recurrence, and THEN forget it! We tend to slap a kids hands (figuratively), but keep a record of their offense which may be used against them in the future. Some feel this is harsh and unfair...to make a kid continue to pay in the future for their offenses of the past.
Just punish and forget, they would say.
---Donna66 on 4/13/10


Jesus Christ taught us not to even hit our enemies. That means we should not hit our family and loved ones either. As we have done, so shall it be done unto us. See Luke 6: 27-36.
---Betty on 4/13/10


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I don't think he will be spraying anymore paint on walls after what happened to him. It is probably the reason those countries don't have the problem we have.
I myself do not believe any teenagers should be spank. If they are out of control at that age its mostly too late. They many times need someone outside the family to talk to them. My next door neighbor when he was growing up always came to me. I would walk with him to the park and he would tell me what was troubling him. He could not go to his dad. His dad was to tuff and prideful.
When children are small they should be spank only when its real necessary, and with an explanation why.
---MarkV. on 4/11/10


Remember that kid that messed up in Singapore ...thrashing with a rattan cane across his BARE TUSH ! do you think he'll ever spray graffiti again
*****

how barbaric crude ...kid remembers humiliation at hands of adults and their lazy inept control ...you are blind and ignorant to believe otherwise

why not have kid clean up graffiti instead - long hours of labor cleaning would have been remembered FAR longer than a quick sting of his behind from sexually deviant adults who gave him THEIR sexually gratifying punishment

NOTHING in Gods Word implies (unless religious christianity see's it written backwards in some satanic code) to humiliate any HUMAN BEING by removing their clothes beating them as "punishment"
---Rhonda on 4/10/10


Yes, the Bible does say many things about physically disciplining children. However, at that time and culture, a child became an adult around 13 or 14. Therefore, we need to relate bible verses to the time it was written.

Anyway, shouldn't your style of discipline mature as your kids mature? If you cannot think of any other means of discipline and administer them, like grounding and restriction for teens, you probably do not have the discipline that you need. Selah.
---aka_joseph on 4/9/10


In exceptional cases i think it is appropriate.
I think spanking should cease to be a normal or regular punishment by the age of 13 after which it should be reserved for very serious transgressions only.
---Andy on 4/5/10


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there is nothing more effective than a good spanking across the Bare tush ! Lower the pants from behind then the briefs and bend over the table . six strokes with the cane should be enough . Pray to God & discipline the godly way !
---maria on 3/22/10


magy - Children learn by example. I do not spank my 10 and 12 year olds. It is far more effective to take a privilege away. Humiliation breads contempt.
---chris on 3/19/10


the ques. is , if teenagers should be spanked. YES . period. how ? pull down the pants and whack em across the tush ! otherwise how will they learn ?
---magy on 3/16/10


OOOps--sorry Alan, I thought you were being sarcastic, I agree with you on the sickness of the bare tush thing--I really do, sorry if I offended you
---Mary on 3/16/10


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Mary ... Was not intended to be funny!

It seems to me that there are a few here who themselves would enjoy indulging me, or someone perhaps very much younger, in that way.

For a woman to put a "tush naked" teenager over her knee and spank him, is sick!
---alan8566_of_uk on 3/15/10


LOLOL!!! Alan, you are sooo funny! And an early happy 70th to you, brother :)
---Mary on 3/15/10


Everybody at every age?

Who will volunteer for the thrill of doing it to me? (I'm 70 mext month)
---alan8566_of_uk on 3/15/10


Alan of UK . children need to be spanked & so do teens need 2 B spanked. of course when they're in the teenage yrs. it should be much less , but people need to be reminded & there's always new situations and everybody at every age could use a good Pants Down Over the Knee Spanking ! Remember that kid that messed up in Singapore ? Yes , he got a thrashing with a rattan cane across his BARE TUSH ! do you think he'll ever spray graffiti again ???
---venese on 3/14/10


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Venese ... If you have to resort to spanking a teenager, that shows that the earlier discipline of sapankning has failed. Something else needs to be done
---alan8566_of_uk on 3/14/10


Alan . spanking needs to be incorperated in disciplining . maybe BARE TUSH might be sexual orientated : so leave the briefs on , but lower the pants . they have to learn somehow !
---venese on 3/14/10


Ah, such SWEET memories huh Rita? :D
---Mary on 3/12/10


I remember in school , when the boys came back from the principals office clenching their buttocks with tears in their eyes. it usually changed their attitude immediately ! imagine for yourself : you want to do something bad , but you know that when you get caught ..... swoosh ! Pants go down & bottoms come up for a paddling ! wouldn't you think 3 times .. SPARE THE ROD SPOIL THE CHILD
---rita on 3/11/10


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I used to stand on the chair and threaten my lads they towered over me a 15 and I began to get scared they'd hit me back. However if a father has always disciplined in this way and give a good old fashion slapping and the child was used to that without a thought of it been seen as anything else, Hey! if it gets the results well who am I to judge. There are good fathers and good mothers who regularly have to exert that kind of discipline I'm just not up for hitting teens or any child for that matter unless it's absolutely necessary.

Section (54) of the Child protection Act states not to mark a child which is a good indication of measure.
---Carla on 3/11/10


Carla ... I'm sorry .... ahving read your latest post more closely, I see that you don't advocate the sort of beating that Rits seems so enthusiastic about

As you say, earlier appropriate disciplien would make that unecessary
---alan8566_of_uk on 3/10/10


Mag I beleive at my school the clothes remained on. But I'm sure the administrator of the cane would be able to tell if there were books put in for protection.

At my junior school, in fact the canings in private were used as a "grooming" by the paedophile school owner.

There's no need to imagine how Carla and Rita think the beating should be done. What they both suggest is sick or naive.
---alan8566_of_uk on 3/10/10


Awww please!

The original question quote: should young teens be spanked.

you don't Spank teens!

It's far too late if you have to resort to violence and against a teen it's seen as that because they understand right from wrong(or should) if you got the right balance correct it should have been in place from the beginning.

It is the parents that need ..... they are the ones that instil the wrong messages either because they can't be bothered to do the right things in the first place many leaving their kids to their own destruction and then intervening when they should have had their children behaviour under control form the beginning!
---Carla on 3/10/10


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Alan . Since you were never caned before , I would say its time for your caning ! try to imagine how it will be administered ! btw . when they caned in school , was it done in class ? and how did they know if the kid didn't put on a dozen pairs of underpants ?
---mag on 3/9/10


Carla ... That (a teenager naked over a woman's knee and being spanked) is the sort of thing that some grown men like, and even pay for.
---alan8566_of_uk on 3/9/10


Alan,

What on earth is kinky about smacking a teens butt????????

The better thing to say would be what happen to being able to speak to a teen rather than resort to humiliate them.

The British Law section 56 says you can without marking a child discipline them perhaps a sharp reassuring clap on the back of the hand if needs be, and only as a very last resort. But a teen? WHY!

If you have to hit a teen things have gone way too far out of hand in terms of having a good relationship with your teen, perhaps one needs to look at what you being doing in the place of well understood, structured barriers, rules and agreements!
---Carla on 3/9/10


Rita ... I expect also that some of those teenagers get quite a thrill at having their bare front being put over a woman's knee and their bare tush being spanked.

And guess what that could lead to in later years
---alan8566_of_uk on 3/9/10


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alan. since you were never caned, you're probably good natured, but some boys have bad habits and traits & need to be properly disciplined and there is nothing more effective than a few good strokes with a cane across the bare tush. the boys know " if you Push , you'll feel it on your Tush" .
---rita on 3/9/10


Rita ... Taking down the pants and underwear of teenage boys and then bending them over your knee and spanking them is a bit kinky.
---alan8566_of_uk on 3/9/10


alan . I think, that boys and teen boys should be disciplined by females. I remember the male teachers smacking the boys in the face out of anger. females are much better disciplinarians . spanking should only be on the Tush. by lowering the pants, you're giving the culprit a chance to think what he did. then taking him over the knee and Tan His Tush. !!! if you do it right , you won't have to do it often ! For the girls, a slap on the hand is enough . maybe stand her up against the wall & a few good slaps to her tushy
---rita on 3/8/10


Maggie ... Yes they used a cane (not though on bare bottom) at school, but I was never caned.

My parents did not cane or beat me. That I suppose is why I knew how to discipline my own children without hitting them.

As I said, abuse breeds abuse.

And bare tush beating is abuse!
---alan8566_of_uk on 3/8/10


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alan . they didn't use the cane in your school ? how about your parents ? I'm sure you got yourself a sore bottom many times ' unless you put on a dozen pairs of underpants or you put a book in the back of your trousers ! discipline is not abuse !!!
---maggy on 3/8/10


Rita ... I would not say "of UK" if I did not come from the UK

And no, I was never caned on my bare tush ... perhaps that is why I never felt the need or desire to cane my children, bare tush or clothed tush.

Abuse breeds abuse.

You say "in uk they discipline the old fashioned way" Do you mean to use the present tense there? Look at our laws now!
---alan8566_of_uk on 3/8/10


alan of uk. are you from uk ? in uk they discipline the old fashioned way . didn't you get the cane applied to your BARE TUSH ?
---rita on 3/7/10


Rita ... What was your son's offense.

Do you know that sort of thing can lead to him enjoying it, and to seek his pleasures by being spanked by women
---alan8566_of_uk on 3/7/10


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generaly I would say that spanking should stop as they get older , but the threat should be there and everybody could use every now and then a good over the knee Bare Bottom Spanking ! I even administered it recently on my 22 yr. old and YES I had him lower his pants & took him over my knee. he now knows better !
---rita on 3/7/10


I'm NOT a fan of spanking. I believe in consequences and discipline, but hitting and physical intimidation only beget the same. Growing up, spanking could escalate when our parents thought we weren't getting the message. I love my parents and I thank GOD for them every day. However it seemed that the goal of spanking was simply intimidation. The worst and last "spanking" I received when I was younger was the one I refused to cry during. My parents started to use restrictions and discussions.
---misty on 3/4/10


I am 15 and fired up for Christ. I took the Rebellion Quiz because my parents told me to. Then I read the blog because they told me to. And now I have to respond. I love my parents and they never beat me but it does hurt to get punished. I still know I can get it if I mess up. It helps me stay out of trouble knowing the results are not fun if u do. If u get it once or twice I know most kids will avoid getting it. The Bible is clear and Christ is wise. Spanking is not evil. God is GREAT!!
---Frank on 3/1/10


yes Bill. that's how it was done to me and that's how I pass it on to my kids. after I was married my hubby needed it too, because his parents were a bunch of sissies and were stepped all over. he got that way too. and boy did I straighten him out. he hated the cane to his bare bottom but he learned fast the consequences. Thank G-D for everything
---marsha on 9/8/09


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marsha, was that how it was administered on you . you sound a bit too vicious. do you have children? I wonder how their asses look!
---bill on 9/2/09


You are very welcome and may God bless you too, Mary.
Always remember that what ever we go through your children, there is a Saint of God's that's been through it. Seek the wise council of them.
---miche3754 on 6/6/09


Thank you Miche, that helps a lot, God bless you :)
---Mary on 6/6/09


I have a 15 year old daughter and I haven't spanked her since she was about 9 or 10. I don't think you should spank a teenager younger or older. Taking things away that actually mean something does the trick, believe me. When my daughter does something wrong ( and I don't EVER tell them they were bad) I simply take her t.v., books and anything else she gets enjoyment out of and it does the trick she straightens right up.
---Danie on 6/6/09


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Mary, to beat with rod means to teach your children according to God's word.
It does not mean don't spank your children but it also doesn't mean you can abuse them either.
If you train your child up in the word of God and HIS love, he or she will not depart from it.
As for the blog question, no, you should not spank your teenage child. The word of God works much better. Trust me, I have 15 1/2 year old daughter. We have discussions all the time on the Word and it is what I reach for when disciplining and loving her.
Think on this, God chastises those he loves when they do wrong.
---miche3754 on 6/5/09


Hi, that scripture about "for if thou beatest him with the rod he will not die" has always bothered me. Surely the Lord is not advocating child abuse is He? Emergency rooms and foster homes are filled with children who were "beaten" so I'm sure perhaps we misunderstand this one to some degree? Let me know what y'all think, I am confused--thanks so much.
---Mary on 6/5/09


Proverbs 23:13-14
Withhold not correction from the child:
for if thou beatest him with the rod,
he shall not die.

Thou shalt beat him with the rod,
and shalt deliver his soul from hell.

I am thankful my parents taught me the difference between right and wrong. They taught me to do what's right, and to be respectful. They didn't have to spank us often due to consistent teaching of respect and honor. When we tested our limits, they gave us a good spanking. As an adult, I know that my parents were teaching me to fear God and be obedient to our Heavenly Father. If I had not been taught those things, I would not be saved because I would be disobedient to God and His commandments. (1Cor 6:9)
Chastening is good.
---SuzieH on 6/4/09


Stop whipping those kids. God wants children to be brought up in the nurture and admonition of the Lord, and not whippings. Jesus Christ said, "But whoso shall offend one of these little ones which believe in me, it were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and that he were drowned in the depth of the sea." Matthew 18:6 Don't shame children by pulling their pants down.
---Betty on 6/4/09


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child. & teens need discipline & direction. humans are born with bad charecter and traits as stated in the bible. spare the rod........ do the crime pay the time .time means swoosh!!! pants go down and bottoms come up. I perfer a cane but not to harsh!!!!! and don't forget to pray to god
---marsha on 6/3/09


No. Jesus Christ taught us not to use violence. He told us not to even hit our enemies, therefore, we definitely should not hit our family and loved ones.
---Betty on 6/3/09


Regardless of how a parent chooses to "justify" their choice of discipline for either a younger child or a teenager ("the bible says this" or "I am told this"), the parent would do well to keep in mind THE FUTURE.

Many parents want GRANDCHILDREN and would like the child to feel that "marriage/parenthood is a good and desirable thing".

When parents become elderly, they appreciate having children around them that are peaceful and loving because they grew up learning to behave more "gently" than the primitive ancient cultures mentioned in the bible (the children are "Godlovers").
---more_excellent_way on 6/2/09


Haven't you ever read the verse Proverbs 13:24 "He who spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is careful to discipline him." There is a time and place where a spanking is the best thing you can do for your child. Spanking is NOT abuse! "the rod" is a tool to spank with. Clearly spanking is ok when done correctly. I don't know about you, but I know many teenagers who if they had received a few spankings would not have turned out the way they did.I realize my response is not PC, but it is biblical. There is a difference between abuse and spanking and they are not the same thing.
---Vanessa on 6/1/09


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No. Josef and ABW are correct. Sriking an ad-
lescent is not a way to deserve his or her
respect. >If a parent is strong enough to
force this type of punishment, he or she is
being abusive to do so. >If a teen is big
enough to resist and would obediently submit
to corp. punishment, then it is oviously not
necessary. >One might think "Do unto others
as you would have them do unto you" should
especially apply with one's own children -
at any age.
---Robert on 6/1/09


"Should young teenagers be spanked?"

"Spanking" would serve no constructive purpose. If a child has not been brought up in the way they should go by that time, it is to late. A "spanking" that late in life, may end up with the "spanker" eventually getting "spanked" by them. Any child to old to receive, obediently, verbal correction from their parents out of a logical, reasoned respect for their parents, is old enough for emancipation and separation from the parents home.
---Josef on 6/1/09


Children still very strongly resemble the image of God (as His offspring) in many obvious ways that adults don't (because we learn many worldly habits as we grow).

At times, YOUNG children will need discipline because they have learned a bad habit, but they also have begun to realize that the only recognition they get from anyone is when they are rebellious (children want to be recognized/noticed by the parent and receive the parent's attention...even if it hurts).

In the teen years, the child should learn to be constrained by their conscience and character, not fear of discipline.
---more_excellent_way on 5/28/09




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