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Sons Bad Temper And Yelling

My 16 year old son looses his temper and yells at me so loud his face turns red. I have taken away priveldges. He says he knows he not supposed to do it. I have told him he needs to find another way of dealing with his angerlike bringing it to God. How do I get him to stop this disrespectful behavior?

Moderator - Did it start at age 16 or has he behaved that way for years, but was not firmly corrected? If it just started, odds are something happened that he is not sharing with you that is causing the anger. If he has been doing this for years, that is a different issue.

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 ---Molly on 6/2/09
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Nana,

She DOESN'T KNOW, she's just SAYING that (knowing full well that you'll feel guilty about SOMETHING and tell her). You TOLD HER...

"I had my hands in the cookie jar" (she didn't know that until YOU TOLD HER).

This is the standard classic trick that many people will try to play on other people.

Next time she tells you she "knows", ask her what "details" she "knows" (she "plays" you like a fiddle)....you're so easy!
---more_excellent_way on 6/6/09


I never got a chance to develop ADD. My parents watched me like a hawk and no sooner did I start to ADD anything, they would SUBTRACT it like a flash! I had to learn to be like a hawk too, that is if I wanted to get away with anything, by staying 3 steps ahead of the law. It was not easy since my Mom even had the birds telling on me, "A little bird told me" she used to say. Gee, even without the birds, she would just know what I was doing in another room. She walk in and say, "I know what you've been doing", to which I repply, "Mom, how did you know I had my hands in the cookie jar?". She'll say, "I just know". To this day, I know not how she did it!
---Nana on 6/6/09


You might want to look into ADD. Children with add are usually aggressive, impatient, etc.

I also agree with the mod, that maybe something has happened to make him very angry.

Where is his father figure? Does his father figure act this way?
---amand6348 on 6/4/09


According to the spanking blogs, he just needs a good spanking to behave lol.
---Ed on 6/4/09


Amen Mary!! I would have suffered the same fate!
---TIMOTHY on 6/4/09




Wow! I know what would happen if I ever screamed in my mother's face--and it would not be pretty! :O
---Mary on 6/3/09


I agree with MEW. Food additives such as the ones he mentioned are poison! Aspertame/Nutra Sweet causes changes in the brain, it can cause much damage!

If this is something new that he's doing, get him on natural foods.

Also have a frank talk with him about drug/alcohol abuse.
---NV_Barbara on 6/3/09


Maybe he has been hurt in some way and it makes him feel crazy. Tell him you're not against him, you love him & that you are there as his mother no matter what. Let him know also that his life should belong to God & that he can tell God anything about his problems. Let him know Jesus Christ is Lord-that he is the answer to his problems. His parents ought to stand up for him. Try not to yell at or pester him. Try to make home life pleasant for him. Try teaching him how to pray to receive the Holy Spirit & keep praying until the Holy Spirit answers. Try asking for the Holy Spirit yourself, too. He can tell you what's wrong with your son. Don't stop praying for your child.
---Betty on 6/3/09


If he is physically abusive or you feel that you are in danger then call the police immediately. Remind him that he is sixteen and in two years he is out of the house if the behavior doesn't stop. You might also consider a behavioral program if you have the means. Also utilize the tool of just walking away when it becomes tense until it cools down. He feels as if he is in charge of the situation, he needs to know that he is not in charge by taking away his power and control. When he learns to behave himself then he can be part of the family and the decision making again, in short, it's time for tough love.
---TIMOTHY on 6/3/09


I agree with the previous posts about mental health and physical health. I recommend a complete physical, and then ask the doctor for a referral for a mental health evaluation, which the doc can do a cursory evaluation in his office, in private, not with you in the room. There could be underlying physical or psychiatric issues that are just coming to the surface. At this age, your son will not be as likely to share what is going on with you, as he might be with a doctor in private, especially knowing that what he tells the doc cannot be revealed to you.

Most important, pray for him, and ask him if he would pray with you, even if he is silent during the prayer. The Holy Spirit can guide both of you in this.
---Trish9863 on 6/3/09




I wonder why he gets in this temper?

I agree with Mod's comment, but there's another possibiloity

Maybe it is because he feels he is not being treated with respect?

He is verging on being an adult, and is capable of making most of his own decisions. "Kids" of his age went to fight in the First World War.
---alan8566_of_uk on 6/3/09


It might be high blood pressure or a chemical imbalance that is causing the fits of rage. If he is mentally stable (sanity), there is likely something subconscious (trauma) that is causing the rage.

If he does not have nightmares, it MIGHT be the beginning of "BI-POLAR" (the synapses of the brain misfire electrically,...Bipolar used to be called "Manic Depression").

Aspartame damage would be likely.

If he eats alot of Chinese food or other food that has MSG (or any artificial flavor enhancers), there would likely be more damage in a young person (NOTHING is irreversible, the human body was made in God's image to self-heal, "faith FOR FAITH", Romans 1:17).

Physician, heal thyself.
---more_excellent_way on 6/3/09


Look up online "dangers of aspartame, MSG, NutraSweet, flavor enhancers". None of them should have been approved by the FDA (but greedy money maker beverage/food companies pay/lobby the FDA). None of them have to be listed as an ingredient...even in baby food/drinks.

Discontinuing use for a week should show REMARKABLE improvement, if not, you may have to go the expensive doctor route checking blood pressure, blood tests, etc. (beware, in this economy, doctors want your repeat business more than ever and get money from pharmaceutical companies for selling/prescribing their drugs,...drugs/meds wreck the body with their side effects). The medical profession doesn't care if they wreck the human body, they only want MONEY.
---more_excellent_way on 6/3/09


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