Divorce A Drug Addict
I left my husband 3 months ago because was unsafe enviroment. He is 15+ year drug addict, re-habs hasn't worked. He left our home, left the state, took all of our belongings, threw my personal belongings away. He hasn't supported me or our children. Biblical ground for divorce? remarriage?
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---Amy on 6/7/09
Helpful Blog Vote (7)
If he realy wants to quit he will do what it takes to get free, that being go to a ministry instead of rehab, rehabs are temp fixes he needs transformation through the word of God..
If he is not willing to quit and turn to God, then God cant do anything for him either..The bible says that dark and light has nothing in common, it say can the devil and God have anything in common, does the temple of God and that of idols have anything in common (no) and you are the temple of God..We are to be united with believers!
---donnie on 9/12/10|
I say, attend every Al-Anon meeting you can, and don't make any drastic decisions about divorce for at least 6 months. Alcoholism/Addiction is a family disease and effects all members of the family. It stands to reason, then, that when we work on ourselves, the whole family situation can improve for the better. Give yourself some time to breathe, work on yourself, reconnect with God, detach with love from the problems brought into your life from the alcoholic/addict. You didn't cause his addiction, you can't control it, and you can't cure it. His salvation is God's responsibility. As for the eventual decision to divorce or not - it is yours alone to make. When you are in a healthier place. Peace to you.
---Amy on 9/12/10|
NOTHING is in our time, it's all in God's. we made a Commitment "in sickness and in health". he's in sickness. God forgives us 70x7 times and asks us to do the same. the Bible says that God gives man the ability to forgive-not forget so that we don't walk around like robots-no free choice.he wants us to be making CHOICES to follow in his footsteps-regardless of the past. Only HE is able to forgive AND forget. Imagine if God said .I can't forgive you anymore .I'm gonna turn you in for someone who does right. He'd NEVER do that to us. we are called to be LIKE HIM-ACT like him all of the time.Get the book by called 70x7. changed my life. been in your shoes-DON"T LEAVE BEFORE THE MIRACLE HAPPENS
---Summer on 8/25/10|
I am married to adrug addict an I can definitly feel your pain. I moved out of our home away from him to think and pray. I have not filed for divorce yet but I feel that I will. I believe that is why God told us to not be unequaly yoke together, but he also said marriage was hornarable IN all and bed undefiled? It is truly your choice. I dont believe God intended for us to live like that. It is not Godly. Do take your time in this and make your decision with a clear head. You know, as painful as it may be. Time?, are eternity? Pray for one another, we will get thru this. Love yourself and heal.
---wife on 8/4/10|
I would try to help him as much as possible. He is your husband. But at some point he has to want help. A drug addict cannot make too many rational decisions. so you will have to be the rational one. I,too,feel your pain. It is great. What evil we are sometimes faced with in this life. But do the right thing. God will bless you for that. But at a certain point,you deserve some happiness also.
I hope your husband will receive the help he needs and return to the loving father and husband, he use to be. If ever. You are looking at a long road ahead of you. Things like this takes a very long time to heal. You do have choices in life. Remember this: if you choose, not to stand by him, it won't be the end of the world.
---Robyn on 6/22/10|
1.As I was searching for an answer myself...I feel your pain reading this. No one, not my pastor, not my parents, not family, friends...the wise people in my life can tell me if leaving my husband if he refuses to give up his alcohol addictions and lying (over our entire marriage of almost 7 years, 3 years of infertility, 2 children) will make me the sinner and put myself and my children in a worst position in God's eyes. It is tough because it feels EXACTLY like an affair when you are lied to every time your spouse speaks, about alcohol, about recover, about daily stuff...wanting "numbness" as he uses every "poor me" excuse in the book, and turns the tables on you
---Liz on 6/14/10|
I have a similar (sort of) question to yours.... but first the important question is 'is your husband a beleiver?'. I cannot say much more, but in (I think) Corinthians, there are comments about both Christians married to beleivers (which suggest that it is acceptable to leave husband, but does not say about remarriage, while with a noon-beleiver, if he leaves you, then you may remarry. But I cannot say much more, you are truly n a very difficult place
---peter3594 on 3/9/10|
I am always astonished by the harsh words of Christians when it comes to divorce.
God hates divorce. He doesn't hate the people who get divorced. Those who would accuse you of simply looking for a way out of your marriage have surely never walked a day in your shoes.
When it comes down to it, it's all between you and God. I am a Christian and I HAVE walked in your shoes. Pray and do what your heart tells you to do. May God bless you and keep you and may He forgive those who preach and judge when they have no idea what it is like to live with someone who would willingly risk your life and the lives of your children every day.
---Mandy on 3/8/10|
Check to see if there is a few programs in your area. One is Celebrate Recovery. The material will help you understand your loved one more and understand yourself in a deeper way and what God has to say about your struggles. Second is Divorce Care. It is a Christian based program that walks you through the trauma of divorce and will give you a lot of tools to help you know that you are not alone and that God has a lot to say about marriage and divorce. God Bless.
---Katie on 10/27/09|
Was it truly an unsafe enviroment or are you looking for a way out of the marriage?
---Ed on 6/9/09|
You do not have to stay with this person. At least put distance between him and yourself. Find refuge for you and your kids,if any.If he has done this much to you already, it probably won't get any better for you.
Also remember this environment takes its toll on you also. I am concerned about you. You said divorce and remarriage in the same sentence. Seems as though you are a bit too desperate for a man.
You need time alone to sort things out in your mind as to the best thing for you now. Not getting tangled back in another possible toxic relationship.
Learn to take time for yourself don't be so needy and afraid to be alone. A man is not everything in life. You should have other important things in your life to relate to.Blessings
---Robyn on 6/8/09|
\\ He has been unfaithful to you in numerous ways. Just because he hasn't been unfaithful to you sexually (I'm assuming) doesn't mean that you can't divorce him.\\
Obviously, the word that means "sexual unfaithfulness" means "other unfaithfulness" to many of the learned exegets here.
---Cluny on 6/8/09|
Paul, inspired of the Holy Spirit, call such a one worst than an infidel, and would likely say to you, "what concord hath Christ with Belial? or what part hath he that believeth with an infidel?" 1Ti 5:8>2Cr 6:15.
Therefore 'I' would say you are much better off without him in your life, and by any standard, based on your comment, he has abandoned both you and his family.
Are you free to divorce and remarry? Jesus condoned only one reason for divorce, infidelity. However his addiction, and his seeming unwillingness to give it up for the sake of his family, could be view as fornication in the metaphorical sense of the term, the worship of an idol.
---joseph on 6/8/09|
Why not just separate from the husband? Why start thinking about remarriage before the divorce? I expect you knew all about this drug addiction when you married him and are now using it for an excuse to leave the marriage.
---SusieB on 6/7/09|
In order to qualify for support payments, in some states, you need to file for divorce. Scripturally, you need to study 1 Corinthians and pray about this. Scripture says IF we divorce we are to stay unmarried in order to reconcile. Pray, and study the Bible. Then seek legal recourse for the child support matters.
---Trish9863 on 6/7/09|
Biblically you can divorce on and only on the grounds of adultery. Biblical grounds for remarriage is one of the married couples death and you marry only in the LORD
yeah... those are hard sayings of the God (the bible) If you find something I \have missed let me know
peace in the one and only true Christ
---steven-rem7000 on 6/7/09|
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Divorce is a very contentious issue. It is easy for non-divorcees to condemn divorce as they have never been in that situation. It is just as easy for divorcees to justify themselves. However, while God hates divorce and while it is never a nice thing, I cannot think that God would want his children to stay in an unsafe environment. I agree with the moving out and praying and refusing to move back in. Also bring the issue of divorce to God and get His input in your heart before making a choice. If God says to you to continue praying, even if it is for another 15 years, do it. Your reward will be great in heaven.
---Andries on 6/7/09|
Why does everyone look for some legal loophole to dispose of their mate? I have an idea, because they know in their hearts God is against their gainful attitude. Is there grace? Well sure, but would you take Jesus if he was here now and pound nails through his hands and feet?
Listen, separate from him and pray for him like he's the last man on earth. So you support yourself and move on with a life he can't touch till he dries up. He can do it, your words seemed to intimate that it wasn't possible, we should know it is. Jesus said with God all things are possible.
---Pharisee on 6/7/09|
He has been unfaithful to you in numerous ways. Just because he hasn't been unfaithful to you sexually (I'm assuming) doesn't mean that you can't divorce him.
Even if you don't interpret the Bible that way, just use your head. I think God wants us to rely on Him, but at the same time, use our minds.
And by all means, yes you can remarry if he has been unfaithful to you in any way. I'd hate for the last man for you to have been with to have been a cruel one.
---amand6348 on 6/7/09|