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Propose To My Boyfriend

I have been dating my boyfriend for four years. We both share a son that is 3 years old and was conceived out of wedlock. Im a born again christian who is practicing celibacy. I wish to propose to him but I am unsure if that is the order God intended with man and wife. Does it really matter who asks?

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 ---Jazzmine on 6/18/09
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God is your Father.
These questions are for you to think about.
I am not asking for a reply.

Does your boyfriend believe In-Christ?
Do you pray together?
Do you study the Word together?
If this man is the Husband God has for you,
He will understand God as your Father.
The respect your Father would want a Husband, for His daughter, to have.
Pray and ask your Father for Wisdom.
James 1:5
If any of you lack wisdom,let him ask of God, That giveth to all liberally,and upbraideth not,and it shall be given him.
(Proverbs 1:7-2:6-4:11)

If your boyfriend believes IN-Christ,
Ask him what he thinks Father wants.
Ask to Pray on it together.

Trust your Father,
he will answer.
God's Peace.
---char on 8/10/09


Maybe you could find a cool day to chip in this question

what his mind is about you?
does he intend to marry you or should you move on with your life?

its good to know

cos i know a couple who lived like that for thirty years... with two daughters now, the eldest being 29

The woman is still waiting for the proposal!! i don't think it is funny at all!!
---pat on 7/31/09


"Yes", you should propose to him - especially if you have a son of 3 years. It seems your relationship is on "dead center". By proposing, you will get your relationship off of dead center which seems to be the case at present. However, don't be surprized if he doesn't want to marry you, but at least you will know and can move on. It really doesn't matter who ask! (In some Jewish traditions, and in other non-Christian religions, it does matter, but the Bible, in the New Testament doesn't address this matter. It's really more of tradition and culture as to who ask who.
---wivv on 7/22/09


Cluny, SusieB, obewan, greg, AlwaysOn, NurseRobert, all gave good advice.
Does not faith come from hearing?
---Nana on 7/1/09


I ain't proposing to no man, If you can't get him which you shouldn't be doing to ask you to be his wife and make a decent man out of himself, he can go walk the dog!

You ain't desperate! are you?

If you don't marry this man God will still provide you want someone that wants and respects you.I had two children out of wedlock and God provided he said he would according to his riches in glory.And he did.

I'm sure you ain't got not tree growing out ya face, don't beg! your better and worth more than that, you'll only have him later say when it go's pear shape '' you asked me love ,I never asked you''!
---Carla3939 on 6/29/09




With all that is wrong with the world, this is the best people can come up with????

If two people love and respect each other, WHO CARES who proposed to whom??? (or is it who, lets debate that one too!)

Jazzmine, if you love him, propose. If he has issues with it, I would question just what kind of husband he would be.
---NurseRobert on 6/27/09


Woman is not created for man, they evolved together in order to procreate and continue the species
---Terri on 6/27/09


\\Cluny, read your bible. In Genesis God created the woman for the man not the man for the woman. The man, Adam, chose the woman & they became one flesh.
The husband is the head, not master, in the marriage. I can see a woman asking her boyfriend about marriage, but not proposing.
Read Proverbs 18:22....
It's the man's job to find the wife not the woman's.
---Rickey on 6/25/09\\

I have read my Bible. If you had, you would know that the Biblical practice was for arranged marriages, not for the man to find his own spouse.

You have offered NO proof that either scipture you mentioned says that the man is to propose. You are merely reading your own interpretation into the passage.
---Cluny on 6/26/09


Cluny, read your bible. In Genesis God created the woman for the man not the man for the woman. The man, Adam, chose the woman & they became one flesh.
The husband is the head, not master, in the marriage. I can see a woman asking her boyfriend about marriage, but not proposing.
Read Proverbs 18:22....
It's the man's job to find the wife not the woman's.
---Rickey on 6/25/09


\\ Talk about marriage, but don't propose to the dude. Reason being, it's the man's place to do so. If he doesn't want to then by all means don't make him.
...
3)It's the man's place to do the proposing, according to scripture. (Genesis 2:24, Proverbs 18:22)\\

It's nothing but modern social custom to say that the man does the proposing.

3) You're wrong. Matchmaking and and arranged marriages by the families were the norm in Biblical times. Adam and Eve had God for their matchmaker, where do you get that Adam proposed to Eve? There's nothing in your passages to suggest that the husband does the proposing, you're simply reading that into the verses.
---Cluny on 6/25/09




Talk about marriage, but don't propose to the dude. Reason being, it's the man's place to do so. If he doesn't want to then by all means don't make him.
1) If he truly doesn't want to, but does it anyway in the end he will regret it. Eventually, fruit from his regret will show up.

2) If he does decide to after you all talk..then by all means do marriage counselling beforehand.

3)It's the man's place to do the proposing, according to scripture. (Genesis 2:24, Proverbs 18:22)
---Rickey on 6/23/09


No, it doesn't matter who asks. Go for it and God bless!
---AlwaysOn on 6/21/09


Now i have a question, to ask. in the question it was said you had a boyfriend four years now, you have a child of three years and your a born again Christian practicing celibacy. There youghot me confused. what kind of celibacy are you speaking about?
---andy3996 on 6/20/09

Likely saved after the Child?
---Pharisee on 6/20/09


Now i have a question, to ask. in the question it was said you had a boyfriend four years now, you have a child of three years and your a born again Christian practicing celibacy. There youghot me confused. what kind of celibacy are you speaking about?
---andy3996 on 6/20/09


obewan...Only problem with this situation is that Jazzmine has already let him know that she is "available" since they have a child together.
---SusieB on 6/19/09


I'm no expert in situations like yours. However, I believe that you need to consider the CHILD's interests as well. You and your boyfriend are his natural parents. There might be some hurt about the way that his life began. However, God has entrusted your son to the care of you and your boyfriend. Our God is such a loving God. Even in the middle of difficult circumstances, he can work "miracles".

I would ask your son what he wants and pray about that. Share your son's desires with your boyfriend. Pray for him. I would have an open discussion about whether your relationship is headed: Either getting married or moving on with God's help.
---Sag on 6/19/09


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even though this has taken place before marriage it woulbe good if you are both willing and able to seek out a christian whom you both know andcantrust to be a confident and even a a good christian group who arewilling to pray with andshare encourangement with you both
---greg on 6/19/09


We have to Old Testament story of Ruth and Boaz I suppose. Ruth let Boaz know she was "available" and interested in marriage, and Boaz followed up with the proposal. She did let him know in no uncertain terms that she was interested though.
---obewan on 6/19/09


After four years and a child together, you should be able to just bring the subject up and tell him you think it is about time that you two got married. If he does not want to get married, then I would suggest you go on with your life without him.
---SusieB on 6/18/09


Have you prayed about it? Is he a believer? These are two very important facts that you have left out of your question.

If you have prayed about it, and he is a believer, then you should go with the Holy Spirit's leading.

If he is an unbeliever, you need to study what scriptures say about this. The Bible is very clear on believers and unbelievers in marriage. Pray and ask God to show you in His Word exactly what it says about marriage to unbelievers.

If you should ever end your romantic relationship, prayerfully attempt to stay amicable so that your child will not grow up in turmoil.
---Trish9863 on 6/18/09


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Many good marriages result from a joint decision, not a "proposal". But after 4 yrs of dating and having a son together, if your boyfriend isn't actively planning a marriage with you, I'd say he likely doesn't want one. He may "say" he does, but actions speak louder than words!

This may be fortunate for you! If he is not a born-again Christian, you would be "unequally yoked" which would be difficult and unbiblical. Congratulations on your celibacy (it doesn't make your situation easier, but it is the Godly way)

I'd say distance yourself from him and look for a God-fearing man who could be a life partner. Pray for your son's father, witness to him if you can, but don't expect to marry him.
---Donna66 on 6/18/09


I think it is good to go with how the relationship is. And if he is not a Christian, I would be concerned about this. Because we do have, "Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness?" (2 Corinthians 6:14) And if he is a Christian, even . . . still he should be willing to do the right thing, not just forced or guilt-tripped or charmed (o: but really willing >
"I charge you, O daughters of Jerusalem,
By the gazelles or by the does of the field,
Do not stir up nor awaken love
Until it pleases." (Song of Solomon 3:5)
---Bill_bila5659 on 6/18/09


I would wait for him to ask me. I think things are different, today. I think it does matter. But I'm old-fashioned.
---Frances_franc4747 on 6/18/09


Is there some formula to adhere to, no. Traditionally a man would ask a woman however. The other side of it is would marriage be something he's going to continue in after you both say "I do."
It sounds like he's not a believer, his faith is not mentioned, and I'm sure you know there's a difference between a casual intellectual confession and a real deep abiding conviction that we call saving faith.
If this is the case and he has no truth in him then why worry about a proper order, you're already defying the counsel of God's word to be not unequally yoked.
Do as you will to, that's the freedom we have in Christ, but I advise a pillow made of sponge to soak up all the tears.
---Pharisee on 6/18/09


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It's nothing more than a fairly modern social convention that the man asks the woman to marry him.

In the Bible, the norm was for marriages arranged by the families involved.

Isaac never laid eyes on Rebecca until the night the mathmaker brought her to his mother's tents.

If you feel that you should ask the man to marry you, and that it's in God's will, pray first, and then follow His leading.

There's no Biblical reason why women should not propose marriage.
---Cluny on 6/18/09


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