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Non-Believing Husband Issues

What to do when you're married to a non-believer, and they don't want to work things out, but they don't want to file for divorce?

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 ---Melissa on 6/19/09
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Sounds like he's wanting to be married & to live separate lives together. That's Not being married. If it results to leaving him,
you canNot see other men,date,or remarry,if you do,this will put you in an unfaithful act before God,alone others. If you suredly caught him in the act of adultery,then a divorce is permitted.
---Lawrence on 7/24/09

You have another choice: you can leave the relationship but you cannot remarry another while your spouse is alive. Even though a lot of people do remarry for whatever reasons. If you catch your husband in the act of adultery or knows for sure,you can divorce him. But prayer does help,especially,if you love your spouse, and want things to work out.Even then you would have to do something other than pray. You have to put action behind that prayer.
---Robyn on 7/20/09

Most of you say pray, pray, pray. That is only a part of the solution. A couple of you say submit. In fact, most christian women don't even know HOW to submit.

The solution is to pray AND set an example (not to preach) of a christian wife and mother. For starters, do an online KJV bible search for "one another," "each other," and "encourag." Do the things where your children call you blessed and your husband praises you.
---Steveng on 7/19/09

Pray without ceasing, asking for the Holy Spirit. You need His leadership.
---Betty on 7/17/09

---anon on 7/14/09

Here's an update, I moved my furniture out of the apartment today and now he says he wants to try counseling again I really think this is only because he thinks Im seeing someone, my 7 yr old told him about a friend of mine I took to the store last week, so I must admit Im kind of weary of his change of heart so I really feel weird about the whole thing
---Melissa on 6/23/09

Is your name on the house? If so, you are as entitled to live there as he is. Do you have children? If so, he is legally obligated to support them. Do you work? If not, depending on where you live, you may be entitled to alimony.

Your husband has made his decision to terminate your marriage in one sense, just not legally. Therefore, HE has decided, not you. Seeking legal counsel to protect your legal rights and file for divorce to obtain your share of any marital property and/or child support or alimony is NOT wrong.
---Trish9863 on 6/23/09

Im sorry to sound so ignorant with my choice of words first of all but my mind is totaly spinning in circles. What I mean is "he" (my husband) doesnt want to work things out. I scheduled counseling and he came to one session and never came to the other two that were already scheduled. He has put me out of the house ( I stayed as long as he would allow) and now he's told me he doesnt want to work at saving our marriage. But yet he wont divorce me, I just want to be free from this marriage without going against the word of God. Any suggestions or insight is greatly welcomed and appreciated.
---Melissa on 6/22/09

Since "they" are so indecisive, I would agree to approach the problem through prayer and diligently seeking the Lord in EVERYTHING. His will will be done if you pray for it. Ask for WISDOM which God amply supplies to those who request it.
---jody on 6/22/09

They dont want to work things out in that they dont want to be with you? I dont get the statement.

If they have essentially departed then let them go and divorce them. It sounds like its not a marriage.
---Melanie on 6/22/09

Pray for God to work things out in His timing.
---Ed on 6/22/09

Melissa, Concerning my previous post to this blog in reference to 1Cor. 7:13 "The LORD's instructions concerning this are clear " that statement was an obvious error on my part. I attributed the instructions to the LORD when the instructions were clearly from Paul, as he notes. My apologies, please understand that there was no attempt at deception on my part, I simply failed to visually check the reference for affirmation, I hope that you did.
---Josef on 6/21/09

It would help if you were to clarify what you mean when you say "they don't want to work things out."

Is adultery involved? That could change things considerably.

I suggest you seek a mature, Christian woman for guidance in this matter. Also, commit the matter to prayer.
---Trish9863 on 6/21/09

If you do this: 1Corinthians 11:3-10, 13, 15-16, 14:(33), 34-35, (36-38), Ephesians 5:22-24, 33, Colossians 3:18, 1Timothy 2:11-14, (8-15), Titus 2:5, 1Peter 3:1-2, 5-6, and he does this: 1Corinthians 7:33, Ephesians 5:25-29, 31, 33, Colossians 3:19, 1Timothy 5:8, 1Peter 3:7, this resolves the situation.
1Corinthians 7:12-16. If the unbeliever departs (don't push), the Christian is not under bondage because the marriage was not 'in the Lord', 7:15. Yet, see 7:14.
Consider Genesis 2:23-25, 3:16 (Genesis 4:7), Proverbs 14:1, Galatians 5:14, 1Timothy 5:13-14, 2Timothy 3:6-7, 1Peter 1:14.
p.s. Don't uncover his nakedness, submit to your husband, pray for God's help and wisdom, Titus 2:3-5.
Caution, Jude 1:12, 2Peter 2:17.
---Glenn on 6/20/09

Melissa, according to Scripture, in 1 Corinthians 7:13-15, you are to dwell with your husband in quiet submission(Biblical submission not the world's idea of submission). As long as there is no danger to yourself or children(if any), then you should stay and be as good to your husband as possible, in the hope that your husband observe your testimony and be saved. Even if he doesn't come to the Lord through your efforts, you will be able to say that you have given him the best you could and that he has experienced all the heaven he may ever know otherwise.
---tommy3007 on 6/20/09

Melissa, you get to stand back and watch everyday go by and see wonderful Christian couples living out their faith together passionately and joyfully while your heart breaks for just one day of that.

Then you pull your head out of the clouds and realize that you have more of a chance to rise up in Christ then the unchallenged harmonious couple by the Lord's grace and mercy to you. Not that your situation is better, but it's one only God can fix. You have to decide to participate in his program even when it hurts if you want his absolute best outcome in this situation. Put some iron in your spine and some rubber in your knees and purpose yourself in it with your God.
---Pharisee on 6/20/09

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First off, assuming you're married to one person, how can one person be "they"?

Next, St. Paul says (1 Cor, I think) that if the unbelieving spouse is content to dwell with the believer, then so be it.

You just have to deal with it.
---Cluny on 6/20/09

"...they don't want to work things out, but they don't want to file for divorce?" Pray.

Trust The Father with your life and your marriage. Be the person the Father has called you to be, focus on Him rather the the perceived shortcomings of your mate. Love your mate in a way you yourself would like to be loved.
The LORD's instructions concerning this are clear "the woman which hath an husband that believeth not, if he be pleased to dwell with her, let her not leave him. But if the unbelieving depart, let him depart. A sister is not under bondage in such [a case]:" 1Cr 7:13,15
---Josef on 6/20/09

It sounds as if there are other issues in your marriage besides the fact that he is not a Christian.

Because you seem to want him to divorce you.

I don't think you would want that just because he is a non-believer.

Don't you love him in spite of that?
---alan8566_of_uk on 6/20/09

You've ghot to pray just to make through the day (MC)
---andy3996 on 6/20/09

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