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Friendship Before Marriage

"Let brotherly love continue." (Hebrews 13:1) The brother-sister relationship can be the most intimate and trusting relationship. So, does this mean a Christian couple needs this "brotherly love", first, before even considering marriage?

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 ---Bill_bila5659 on 9/19/09
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Yes I think its the best to start any relationship because than u will sure on what u want an be able to teach each other
---Tumelo on 1/28/11


This does not mean your natural or biological brother. Brotherly love means to have a warm and cordial love for other christians and people we fellowship with in this scripture( Hebrews 13:1)Even though we should have a good relationship with our biological brothers and sisters also.
Before considering marriage we should have love for the other person. This is one of the main ingredients in a good marriage.We should definitely Love God first then our spouses and so forth in that order.
---Robyn on 10/10/09


Friendship before marriage Yes. You have your time together & apart. For petting & such, sexual intamacy is left alone while dating, Is for married couples only. All fornicators will have their part in the lake of fire.
---Lawrence on 9/28/09


free trials, ama > I can see that system going to work. But I understand that marriage is not first about how ones' sexual activity goes for them, but how they can relate in all things with each other, "submitting to one another in the fear of God." (Ephesians 5:21) > able to submit ourselves to God and how He has us relating so we are "without complaining and disputing," (Philippians 2:14) and so any problem has us first *answering to Him* and seeing how He handles us with His correction. And we have, "not in the passion of lust, like the Gentiles who do not know God." (1 Thessalonians 4:5) In His love the intimacy is so deeper and more beautiful than what lust can have a couple seeking.
---Bill_bila5659 on 9/26/09


Would you buy a suit or dress without first trying it on? Likely not. Afterall, if you later found that the garment did not fit, you would have wasted your time and money.
Many people apply a similar logic to marriage. They feel that it is better for a man and woman to live together before making a commitment to be come husband and wife. What is the Bible's viewpoint on this matter? The Bible's answer is clear. (1 Thessalonians 4:3 says "we should abstain from fornication". The term fornication refers to all sexual relations outside of marriage. According to the Bible, then it would be wrong for a couple to live together - even if their intention was to marry later.
---ama9947 on 9/23/09




Matthew 22:37-39: "Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and great commandment.
And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself."

Can we love our neighbour(everyone else), after that we love God with all our being? The only way is if our neighbour is part of our very heart, soul and mind.

John 17:22-23: "And the glory which thou gavest me I have given them, that they may be one, even as we are one: I in them, and thou in me, that they may be made perfect in one, and that the world may know that thou hast sent me, and hast loved them, as thou hast loved me."
---Nana on 9/21/09


"So, does this mean a Christian couple needs this "brotherly love", first, before even considering marriage?" Most definitely. In the sense of love unconditional.

Combine this with an innate, natural, spontaneous, indeterminate sexual attraction and you have a recipe for a long happy marriage.
However, if either is conditional, success would/will be questionable.
---Josef on 9/20/09


It would help if they see friendship as a possibility.

Trouble is, so many relationships today progress to romantic/sexual intimacy before the couple has really taken much time to know each other! Soon after meeting, their thinking is clouded by passion. THEN they are in the worst possible state to make ANY important judgments.

I don't know how many couples I've seen who marry...but after a few months (or even a year or more) discover they really have little in common! The main thing they had in common was simply physical desire! Outside the bedroom they don't enjoy each other much. Disappointment leads to conflict.

No wonder some pastors REQUIRE premarital counseling for couples they marry.
---Donna66 on 9/21/09


Amanda, I see different ones have a very different take of this question (o: Yes, More Excellent Way, there is "neither male nor female" in Jesus. Trish, I think it would be friendship while also developing in love with all the other Jesus people the couple knows, so they are not just all about each other. And yes, Cluny . . . I'd think I would like *any* Christian brother or sister who is pleasing to Jesus > and love each one as Jesus loves us as His Bride. So, I'd need for God to choose which of His special ones He wants with me.

By "brother-sister" I mean how we love as God's Family. Family love is very personal and intimate in the Holy Spirit . . . but unconditional, therefore agape. Why start with less (o:
---Bill_bila5659 on 9/20/09


Why would you want to marry someone you didn't even like?
---Cluny on 9/19/09




"ROMANTIC" love is not the same as...

"love"/regard for your fellow human being" (scriptually said as your "neighbor").

..."brother-sister" is for a family (childhood family).

As worshippers INside Jesus's body, there is no such thing as "brother-sister" relationship,...we are spirit creations inside Jesus's body (a NEW creation)...

Galatians 3:28
"there is neither male nor female".

Romantic love is for courtship (dating) and marriage.
---more_excellent_way on 9/19/09


lol. This doesn't sound right bila, but it reminds me of something in college. I had a pretend brother in college, and I guess he called himself my bro because he believed in Christ and so did I. I ended up getting a crush on him or either falling in love with him, one or the other, but it wasn't meant to be-he was taken.
---amand6348 on 9/19/09


It would be nice if couples were friends as you describe, prior to marriage. Unfortunately, not all couples see that as important. Many couples are more interested in physical attractiveness and lust.
---Trish9863 on 9/19/09


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