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Engaged To Maybe Christian

Just engaged having 2nd thoughts. Has God ever told u not 2 marry someone? I feel discomfort sometimes about marrying, other times nothing. He's an army Guy, says he's saved but won't pray w/me, or really talk about God but says he wants this n his family. Unsure and thinking of ending relationship.

Moderator - End the relationship now. If you are having second thoughts now, just wait until you are married when times get tough.

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 ---Mars on 9/20/09
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Gen.1: 1 In the beginning God .. You should start with God & let God lead you to who to marry OR lead who HE has chosen for you to you. Please do not continue with what pleases you without God in it. The fact that you are doubting & asking this question shows it is not God that led you to the relationship. If it is God, you will remember the mile-stone(s) that God used to lead you and you will remain confident. Where God leads, He solves problems that shall arise, where He does not lead you He counsels you to return to His own plan before it is too late.
---Adetunji on 10/9/09


Many people think they are saved, but live deceived and in darkness. They worship the world, deny god and abide in mans immoral ways. These people honor god with the lips, pray for others to see, attend church- but the heart is far away. Prayer is central to our life, he should want to talk about god and pray with you. I would think twice if I were you, marriage is for life. And as a christian women, you can not divorce and remarry (under any circumstance)to another man - lest you become an adulteress - the opposite of a woman of god. Be wise, and pray for gods will for your life. This is one of the most important decisions of your life.
---wal_rev on 10/6/09


If you have that much doubt, don't marry him under ANY circumstances. Don't get the false notion that he will change for the better after marriage - have never seen it happen that way although I've been doing marriage counseling 33 years.
---wivv on 9/27/09


The moderator is correct, end the relationship now.
Besides, you can't kind of be a christian. Further he sounds like he is no where near being mature enough to LEAD his family spiritually which is his primary duty.
---larry on 9/25/09


cluny
are you saying you are the one Mars is referring to?
---patie3447 on 9/25/09




How about you gals start deciding on what you want before you accept the marriage proposal, instead of leading some poor sap into thinking that he has found a wife?
---ralph7477 on 9/21/09

How about you guys stop pretending to be something you are not, doing things you know you won't continue after getting married?
If you do it while you are dating, you should continue to while married.
You know, flowers, opening the door, etc.
The same goes for women. If you take care of yourself to get a man take care of yourself to keep him.
Ralph, stop blaming all women. These issues are never onesided.
---miche3754 on 9/24/09


I agree with the Moderator, 2nd thoughts are good. If the doubt is there, you will spare yourself much grief later by hearkening to your doubts now and break it off. You see, when a male or female makes their intentions known that they are interested in the other person, the other person will respond. But when the person starts showing disinterest, then sometimes the one being refused may feel abandonment issues and they will start to act out more strongly to re-gain the first shared interest, then when his male chemistry (pheremones) starts kicking in it can become more difficult for you to back out of the unhealthy relationship.
---Eloy on 9/22/09


How about you gals start deciding on what you want before you accept the marriage proposal, instead of leading some poor sap into thinking that he has found a wife?
---ralph7477 on 9/21/09


You sound just like me, when I was getting married to my husband, EVERYTHING in my being told me NOT to marry him, and I did not want to listen, so I married him. That was the biggest mistake of my life, but there is a silver linning for me, NOW when I hear my soul wispering/talking/screaming about something, I have learned to listen and agree with my soul in everything,Always. I am more sensitive to my soul which is really the holyspirit speaking to my spirit.
LEAVE HIM before it's too late because once you marry him there is no turning back. And divorce is not an option.
---metuschelah on 9/21/09


Just as the moderator has said, get out now!!!!!!!!
---mima on 9/21/09




1. Maybe he prefers to keep his devotions private until he is married.

2. If you have any hesitancy about marrying anybody for any reason, don't marry him.

3. If you're old enough to think about getting married, you're old enough to write like a mature adult using standard spellings. If you're writing like a child, you're thinking like a child.

4. Yes. That's why God told me not to marr you.
---Cluny on 9/20/09


1st He could be lying to you about being saved, due to him not wanting to do things that have to do with God. 2nd if you don't feel peace, it's NOT of God - when God leads you, you will ALWAYS have peace as a sign of the Holy Spirit's lead. Just from these two things, it's clear that this relationship is NOT of God, and you MUST get out now, or it could get worse.
---Leslie on 9/20/09


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