Will God Restore My Marriage
My husband and I divorced 4 years ago, after 6 years of marriage and 2 beautiful children. We both remarried, I had a baby, his wife is expecting a baby. I am separated and waiting for divorce, this 2nd marriage was never meant to be. Can I ask God to restore my first marriage?
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---Susan on 9/28/09
Helpful Blog Vote (20)
Yes! Remarriage (to another person) after divorce is adultery. What you're doing right now is ending the adulterous relationship, pray that your covenant husband does the same.
---Alexandra on 1/2/14|
John, I wanted to mention something to you that was ask of me. The question was,
"Who do you love more, God or your wife?"
When I was asked that question, at that moment I did not know how to answer.
The sister told me, "When you can answer the question, you will find out who you worship"
I was worshipping my wife, I loved her so much, I could not get her out of my mind. She was more important then my kids at that moment. My whole life revolve around her. Nothing mattered but having her with me. I was so wrong. I had to put God first in my life. Once I did that, everyone was put in their place. Human's always fail, but God never fails. Never.
So who do you love more, God are your wife?
---Mark_V. on 12/9/13|
John, I believe that God can do anything, but I do not believe He would restore you marriage to your ex-wife, too much sin has been involved. Not knowning all the facts why you guys split up is hard to give advice.
I would say to let go. Do not talk to her. Stop trying to speak to her now. Every time you say something things get worse. If you really love her, pray for her and be happy if she ever finds happeness. In the mean time, you should go forward with your life. Nothing you say can make her change. You cannot make her feel what you feel either. The only one that can change you and her is God.
---Mark_V. on 12/3/13|
well I been a part from my exwife for 3 year . wanted the divorces and we just got divorc this oct we have a 5 year old son together .she keeps om saying that she don't love me and we are done and I want her to come back to tryigain but she saying that here no hope move onw I can I still love here ihaave try to help her to drive here around but that she was seei8ng a marred man and they borck up and I was there again to help herand now she doint want me a round or talk to her just do do with my son the last time she borck up with hime I was in her home and it was ok now to here I ntinmg again I am a looer to her and she hats me morethen ever can god restore our marrgaes if I wanted and she don't ? john
---john on 12/1/13|
Thank you Giofighter for your honesty and sharing your testimony! My ex wife is living in sin and I have been praying for reconciliation. This let's me know what her life will be like if she ever marries these guys she's sinning with.
---ja on 1/14/12|
DESTROY your FORMER husbands marriage to serve yourself SIMPLY because your most recent marriage is ending??
taking your FORMER husband AWAY from his wife and his child? delivering destruction to your FORMER husband his WIFE and family to satisfy yourself?
blog post several years old she may have succeeded - sure she isn't the only one
pure deception "getting back" FORMER spouse by destroying their FORMER husbands currrent marriage and family - amazing REJECT GOD and Holy union of marriage blinded to to the glaring contradiction
destruction of first marriage more lives DESTROYED in destruction of second marriages kids torn apart blended families
Satan's confusion and chaos
---Rhonda on 11/1/11|
While agree with the first part of Robyn's reply the last part was full of hate and self.
He is committing adutery and so are you both of you unless you repent will spend eternity lost.
If you both left the marriage and remarried both of you are wrong. This does not make your husband's re-marriage Right EITHER!
It's not wrong to want to go back. We all make mistakes, Every last One Of Us. It is just, when it comes to Adultery there is no easy way back.
You are to remain single 1 Corinthian 7. Matthew 19:9
---Carla on 11/1/11|
My soon to be ex wife was married before and this is my first marriage.
We dated while she was separated and lived in sin for 6 years.
We got married and immediately had a daughter...she has a daughter from her previous marriage as well.
Our marriage was always rocky, we never truly took time out for each other. The kids ruled the house and God, was on the shelf.
We both USED God as an excuse for blaming but never utilized His power in our marriage.
We separated in 08 and I went on to be very, very sinful.
---Giofighter on 10/30/11|
You can....ask God to speak toyou about it. God does do miracles like this...
---Karen on 10/28/11|
A good question. The answer would have to be No. If your husband has remarried, it is wrong to ask God to restore.
---catherine on 10/9/10|
Hi, YES You should ask God to restore your 1st and ONLY Marriage. All 2nd marriages are Adultery in Gods eyes while you spouse still lives. Read Gods word. 1Corinthians 7. and many other scripture's.eg. A wife is bound by law to he husband as long as he lives. A wife must not separate from her husband, but if she does she must remain single. what GOD has joined together, let NO MAN separate. Whoever divorces his wife and marries another commits ADULTERY. whoever marries the Divorced woman commits ADULTERY. it goes on and on. NO Divorce, NO Remarriage.
---Sam on 10/9/10|
I will tell you right now yes. Yes you can ask for that marriage back. No man seperate. That even means the two of you. Yeah it was wrong to seperate him but that is the past and he forgives you. You will have to be patient with god but man god will be excited to hear you ask him. He didn't want you two to seperate in the first place so I believe he is all for it. Follow Christ as an example and pray everyday and be faithful to your first husband like you are still married. No partying or boyfriends. Grow a relationship with god and do.right in his eyes and everything will follow. Stay faithful to god and.I'm sincere you will see.it coming. Remember to bear with one another.in love. Be a good wife. God bless you.
---kevin on 7/27/10|
I wonder if you truly want the first marriage or if it is just something familiar and safe. So many people are afraid of being alone, without a man or woman in their lives. I know people that don't wait more than a day or two before beginning yet another "serious" relationship.If people would stop spending more time finding the perfect car than they do finding that perfect someone, then maybe it will get better. Also, it would help to fill that hole in your heart with a serious relationship with Christ first. May God bless you and direct your endeavors towards happiness.
---sandy on 7/17/10|
Yes...you can ask. But does not mean it will happen. Sounds as if you have gotten the short end of the stick. Now you want to high tail it back to your first husband. Your husband may not want to go back to you. He and his 2nd wife are expecting a brand new baby. Butt out! You had your chance. Now you want to go back and tear something down, that seems to be working,for him. Sometimes, we have to live with our own ugly mistakes.
---Robyn on 7/15/10|
According to the law, no. However, God did instruct Hosea to marry Gomer after she had been intimate (the OT Biblical marriage) with other men. He was commanded to redeem her.
Hosea and Gomer were not divorced
---francis on 6/11/10|
Susan, I truly hope that since Sep 09, you have changed your mind about a few things. However, I must say that maybe there is a pattern in your question here which may indicate your lack of ability to maintain a solid marriage.
I think instead of asking Him to restore a previous marraige (that you probably also said was not meant to be when it was failing), maybe you should (if you haven't already) to restore or establish a true relationship wih Him.
---aka.joseph on 6/11/10|
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According to the law, no. However, God did instruct Hosea to marry Gomer after she had been intimate (the OT Biblical marriage) with other men. He was commanded to redeem her. That is mercy. Just like David was under a double death sentence when he committed adultery and murdered and should have been, according to the law, put to death before the end of the day....but Nathan the prophet came and told him that God had pardoned his iniquity. If that is OT, how much better the New! Now, if he is remarried and pleased, it would best if you simply prayed for them. It is said that hindsight is 20/20, but God, through His Word, gives us foresight. I'm sorry you realized too late, but it would be praying amiss to pray against his present marriage.
---Linda on 6/11/10|
The answer is NO. You can ask, but God cannot restore that first marriage. God's word is unchanging.
Deuteronomy 24:1..then let him write her a bill of divorcement, and give [it] in her hand, and send her out of his house.
Deuteronomy 24:2 And when she is departed out of his house, she may go and be another man's [wife].
Deuteronomy 24:3 And [if] the latter husband hate her, and write her a bill of divorcement, and giveth [it] in her hand, and sendeth her out of his house, or if the latter husband die, which took her [to be] his wife,
Deuteronomy 24:4 Her former husband, which sent her away, may not take her again to be his wife, after that she is defiled,
---francis on 6/11/10|
I think some of you are reading a wrong translation of a justified reason for allowing divorce biblically speaking. It is not in the case of adultry..it is in the case of an unlawful union.. for instance one of God's people joining with those that they were forbidden from God to be joined to (lest they be tempted into Idoltery, worship of false gods..not Adultery).. that being said.. the first marriage is the covenant marriage in MOST cases whether they were remarried or not. However, the BEST answer to this is to pray on it and LISTEN for what GOD is guiding you to do. His Will...not ours!
---Sonia on 6/8/10|
Im sure God can do what he wills to do, but when a woman is put away and marries another, biblically speaking the husband is not allowed to take her back again to remarry her once she has been married to another man. Old testment rules?
---Tiffany on 5/20/10|
Wow there are some angry, self righteous, people here falsely calling themselves christians.
First, no one knows the circumstance of the first divorce..
IF one of them committed adultery then the other one is free to marry in the Lord.
if neither of them were free to remarry then it doesn't matter if there is a baby involved, God does not recognize the second marriages and they are both just legalized adultery anyway.
People..read your bibles..please and ask God to reveal the truth to you in the Holy Spirit before you listen to and lean on your own understanding of what is right and wrong..
---Chey on 5/19/10|
You can ask God for anything but according to God's Word, It's called adultry and the 1st husband is not suppose to take us back once we divorce them or they divorce us. Now if you are divorcing the first husband because he committed adultry and you didn't legally get remarried than Pray on and become a Stander for your marriage but confess your sins to God for your part on adultry. Truly ask for forgivness and wait on GOD. Having faith and leaving it in God's hand plays a huge part on your behalf. But if you remarried this 2nd person. God forgives regardless but there's no promise that He condones it. Only if you know you can't become celibate, than marriage is always best with God.
---Mrs_Michael on 11/30/09|
What you are saying is sick! Your only concern is YOU. Pride is the highest form of Evil. You don't even care that there is a child in your husband new family. You dare ask God to destroy a family for YOUR PRIDE! I suspect that you used/destroid the second man and married him as a reaction to your 1st husband. You say:"this 2nd marriage wasn't meant to be". I beleive we can see how the 1st husband left you (all about me attitude/the heck with everyone else). He is happy with his new wife and family. This hurts your pride and you want God to destory their family SICK! YOU NEED TO GO ON YOUR KNEES AND PRAY FOR FORGIVENESS. As posted earlier this is an abomination! You have already destroyed people's lives for your own pride. REPENT!
---PastorJim on 11/11/09|
You can ask God anything you want to ask him, but God's answer is, "Get saved, and stop mocking holy matrimony."
---Eloy on 11/12/09|
Are you wanting God to destroy the first husband's current marriage just so you have what you want. Something is wrong with this big picture.
Have you even stopped and prayed and sought God in all of this.
---jodollie on 11/11/09|
Yes you can ask God to restore your first marriage. Ask God to speak toyou in someway of this assurance. I believe God will do it if your willing to wait for him. God is all powerful and wants marriages together...You are meant to be with your first husband.
---Karen on 11/10/09|
No, you can't return to your first marriage, it is an abomination (Deut 24:4)
---metuschelah on 10/23/09|
Well this is a tricky one
i guess you wish your first marriage was not over....but the truth is, he has moved on with his life... if he is married now, then leave him alone
now are you saying this second "husband" has a wife already? if not, don't you think that you should allow God to make things work out if possible?
You will not want to leave this marriage also and start wishing you hadn't and looking for its restoration?
I'm just thinking aloud really.... it does not mean you should do what i have said
You could go to God in all sincerity and ask Him to fix you and all the confusion you are in...He can, yes He can. If only you'll wait for Him?
---patie3447 on 10/3/09|
No! Don't turn your mistakes into a mess that involves heartbreak for the other adults and undeserved confusion for the innocent children. Pray for reconciliation in your second marriage or help to be a single parent.
---Donna66 on 10/2/09|
Susan I hate to say this but you are a world class nut case. You do not need to be married to anyone. Please do not mess up anyone elses's life with your idea of reality.
---Robyn on 10/2/09|
your marriage to your first husband may be over according to the world but in the site of God it isnt. both of you are alive! there is no biblical way to end a marriage except death.read mark and luke.jesus said it was not that way in the beginning . many use sexual unfaithfulness as stated in matthew.read it.its not an exception to end a marriage.it ended an engagement! which took a year.if a mans wife was unfaithful she was stoned to death. civil courts cant dissolve what God has joined together.so God can restore what the locust have eaten.consequences to your actions have interuppted Gods will.you may have to remain single, wait till death or decide to live in a relationship God calls adultry.who do we serve? there lies your answer
---pat on 9/30/09|
First of all, you should have never left your husband in the first place (whatever the reason)
Secondly, You had No grounds to get remarried with the second man (*note that i'm not saying husband)
Thirdly, if you did get divorce, God's word says that you should have remained alone (like a virgin)
Lastly, NO you CAN NOT get back to your first husband (Deut 24:4)"Her former husband, which sent her away, may not take her again to be his wife, after that she is defiled, for that [is] ABOMINATION before the LORD: and thou shalt not cause the land to sin, which the LORD thy God giveth thee [for] an inheritance".
---metuschelah on 9/29/09|
You need to chill on the marriage thing and seek the Lord. Before your next date first get your 40 days in the desert to seek his face and get your act together.
Don't do anyting relationship wise without prayer AND an answer from either his small still voice or scripture.
Its you not the Lord that keeps telling you to jump from relationship to relationship looking for something no spouse can provide without God's undergirding.
You're spazzing out.
---larry on 9/28/09|
Yeesh, what a mess. Forget about getting married, it obviously isn't your thing.
Your time should be spent figuring out how to best create a stable environment for the children that have come out of this mish mosh.
---ralph7477 on 9/28/09|
As well as all that the others have said, ....
If she asks God to restore her first marriage, she will be asking God to destroy her ex-husband's new marriage.
can that be right?
---alan8566_of_uk on 9/28/09|
Cluny: Boy, you are argumentative? I was not saying she could not remarry her ex. I was saying that the only scriptures I know of that address the issue are in the Old Testament.
There is advice based on what I think, and then there is advice based on what scriptures say. In that the only scriptures addressing this question are OT, I referred to them.
As for the question, it sounds like she needs to work on herself before she worries about remarrying anyone, especially since her ex is currently married to begin with.
---Trish9863 on 9/28/09|
"This 2nd marriage was never meant to be." Ouch, I am sorry to hear of your trials. I am also sorry if I don't come across sympathetic in the following, I feel a bit like a doctor, he operates, others are sympathetic, although, hopefully I am working on it. However,do you want help/advice or sympathy?
Some thoughts I have are, "Two wrongs don't make a right." "What is Christ up to today in your life?" "What should you be learning from Christ through this now?"
Your ex is remarried, how does wanting him and her to divorce help/love her?
Sounds like there is a lot of forgiveness that needs to happen. Rather than trying to "fix the past," I'd work with Christ on fixing the present.
---Rod4Him on 9/28/09|
|| Not if you follow what it says in the Old Testament about remarrying after divorce. ||
Do you follow what God says in the OT about dietary restrictions, choices of fabric, or keeping separated from others during your period?
Or do you just pick and choose what OT demands you follow?
---Cluny on 9/28/09|
Yes, you can ask, but. Your own ways have brought you to where you are. These need to go, before you go any further. You need to get with God, instead. And after bye-bye ways, also bye-bye what you have been wanting, as a person who could do all this to yourself, fooling your own self into marrying one or one*s* you did not belong with, and not knowing how to love so you could choose the right one and know together what you are doing. So, you need to get with God and how He has you being and doing things, then see what He has you doing.
Technically . . . no . . . Deuteronomy 24:1-4. But. Find out with God (o:
---Bill_bila5659 on 9/28/09|
Not if you follow what it says in the Old Testament about remarrying after divorce.
It sounds like you might need to seek counseling or therapy to find out what part of your failed marriages you are responsible for.
I am divorced, and my ex remarried. I have not had a serious relationship since my divorce in 2001, because I believe God has to do some work on me, and I decided I was not going to jump into anything till God was finished with me.
---Trish9863 on 9/28/09|
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You certainly can.
Now, unlike some people who post here, I don't pretend to know what God's will for you and your first husband are. You're just as capable of hearing from Him for yourself as anyone else is of telling you.
All you can do is pray and ask Him.
Just one question--what will you do if His answer is not what you wanted to hear?
---Cluny on 9/28/09|