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Divorce Second Husband

My husband and I divorced 8 years ago. I am now remarried. I still love my first husband. We have 2 children who would love to see us together. Would it be wrong of me to divorce my second husband to be with my first?

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 ---Jane on 10/6/09
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It's interesting that i have come across this blog because i am going through the same thing and i have alot of conviction and guilt about remarrying. I have been hearing the voice of god tell me that this second marriage i am in is not in his will. Alot of preachers and non preachers will tell you that it is wrong to remarry your first husband but the word of god tells us that god hates divorce and until your first spouse dies you are bound to him. So no, it would not be wrong to remarry your first husband because in god's eyes he is still your husband and the husband you now have is not and you are living in adultery. So yes return to your first love, your husband as you return to god by repenting.
---angela on 11/11/13


i think it would be wrong to leave 2nd and go back to first hubby....what ever went wrong..ask for forgiveness and forgive....going back will not fix anything...in matters like this it takes strength and faith to see
God's way through it..make earnest prayer and desire God's leading about this sensative thought you're having.i am going through a tough time married to my second husband..i ask...is this marriage adulterous,(even after earnest prayer for forgivness) as he divorced wife for me.how can i have a testimony for Jesus?
---rob_lake on 8/17/11


Carla .. I am not of the view that if you are divorced you are not permitted to remarrry.

Thus, for me, the new marriage has a validity, and of course promises have been made to the new spouse If those promises are brokenm there is betrayal.

In this case of course there is the probability that thhe questioner never really wanted to be divorced from her first.

There's always some sort of betrayal in divorce, and it maay even have been at the beginning of the first marriage, with one party marrying wiotout meaning the promises, but it would I suppose it's more likely to have been by infidelity or cruely and abuse at a later stage.
---alan8566_of_uk on 9/7/10


Alan,

How can she betray her second husband, if indeed the first is not dead, the second husband betrayed himself whilst married to an adulterer he became an adulterer also.

That don't make much biblical sense although ''tongue in cheek'' I get what you mean.lol
---Carla on 9/7/10


Eeew!

If i were your hubby I certainly wouldn't take you back what man would want to be used like that?
---Carla on 9/1/10




Are you goofy or maybe brain dead? Marriage is not the same as returning something at the shopping mall because you don't like it anymore or prefer something else. Your dealing with peoples lives here. When you married your 2nd husband the 2 of you became one flesh in GOD's eyes. Does that matter to you? If you divorce him you cannot remarry ulless your present husband committed fornication with another woman. GOD says he hates divorce and you are considering it like whether you should play the lotto or not...grow up. I'm disgusted with people who look at divorce so trivially. Your thoughts are certainly not from GOD...I'd suggest it is the devil planting these thoughts. Repent and ask GOD to direct your steps...back to your present husband!
---Frank on 8/30/10


Thank you Francis. :)
---Mary on 8/3/10


Why was she defiled after he had sent her away? I don't understand, although I realize it's Old Testament.
Mary on 8/2/10

Deuteronomy 24:1 When a man hath taken a wife, and married her, and it come to pass that she find no favour in his eyes, because he hath found some uncleanness in her: then let him write her a bill of divorcement, and give [it] in her hand, and send her out of his house.

She is defiled because he has found uncleanliness in her. meaning some form of adultery.

Also note: In the case in this blog, if she did not devorce because of adultery, her current marriage is adultery
---francis on 8/3/10


Jane: Please get yourself some help, very quickly. You are very confused. Quite possibly depressed and psychotic on top of other problems. Please do not bring someone else into your world right now. Get help for yourself,first. You don't have anything to offer anyone but trouble and confusion. This is not a basis for a healthy marriage. Yes it would be wrong to hurt your 2nd husband this way. You made this evil mess now live with it! You seem to be very immature also.
---Robyn on 8/2/10


Why was she defiled after he had sent her away? I don't understand, although I realize it's Old Testament.
---Mary on 8/2/10




Deuteronomy 24:2 And when she is departed out of his house, she may go and be another man's [wife].

Deuteronomy 24:3 And [if] the latter husband hate her, and write her a bill of divorcement, and giveth [it] in her hand, and sendeth her out of his house, or if the latter husband die, which took her [to be] his wife,

Deuteronomy 24:4 Her former husband, which sent her away, may not take her again to be his wife, after that she is defiled, for that [is] abomination before the LORD: and thou shalt not cause the land to sin, which the LORD thy God giveth thee [for] an inheritance.
---francis on 8/2/10


Dwan Bray:
Some people make mockery of marriage, yet others make mockery of divorce. Please read the entry of 10/21 with verses, and perhaps also Leviticus 18:20.
Deuteronomy 24:4, "Her former husband, which sent her away, may not take her again to be his wife, after that she is defiled, for that is abomination before the LORD: and thou shalt not cause the land to sin, which the LORD thy God giveth thee for an inheritance."
---Glenn on 8/2/10


I am searching for the correct biblical scriptures for this too! I divorced my husband 2 yrs. ago after the murder of my younger brother and birth of our last child.I was diagnosed with depression, anxiety, and PTSD. No excuse, just facts! I am remarried for 1 yr 6mths however my current spouse and I have only residing together 8 mths in a 2 part separation period. He has cheated in our marriage several times. Bottom line is I made a horrible mistake during a time I should not have made that decision. Is is Biblically immoral to remarry my first and true love?
---Dwan_Bray on 8/2/10


there is ONE sin that God will not forgive and it is NOT divorce and remarriage. If we repent of our sins, including getting divorce God will forgive us. God is faithful.to divorce your current husband in hopes of getting ex husband back is simply wrong. you are in a marriage. seek God and ask him to restore the love for your current husband and quit looking back.
Simply because your children want mom//dad together, don't make it so.
i am a step mother and therefore, know what it is like to have children wanting mommy/daddy back together-- but was my husband to divorce me and leave our family--to accomodate his other 2 children. He did have grounds for divorce--she committed adultry and left him--and wanted divorce.
---jodollie on 11/20/09


In response to suzieH-10/19/09
What's your point suzie, david also killed uriah in order to have uriah's wife bathsheba but that still doesn't make god's law void which says that you should not kill or commit adultery just because king david did it, he too was a sinful man. David payed for his transgression of the law, first he lost his first child by bathsheba then he was told that the sword will not leave his house then he was not allowed to build the temple of God because he had blood in his hands. God's law is perfect nothing goes unpunished which is why it's best to do according to the law of God. As I stated before, it is abomination for one to leave second husband to go back to first husband. Stop taking scripture out of context.
---metuschelah on 10/23/09


the truth i assume that is what you seek is in his word...says till death ..even if your first and only godly accepted husband committed adultry ...we can divorce but we can't remarry anyone but our first..we are to forgive if they repent we are to reconcile. be sure they are a beleiver, dont be deceived.. better to remain single and serve christ..we dont have to remarry our first spouse but we can't marry anyone else..see luke,mark,and even matthew,corinthians..no where does it say we are free to remarry anyone else.. it says if we do we commit adultry...2nd spouse, 3rd or 4th...they are not our spouse that we became one in the lord with..period..don't be deceived..this is satan work...this isnt popular but it is truth...
---pat_miaoulis on 10/21/09


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No *! Break the 'soul ties', the longing for other people.
Jesus prohibited divorce except for adultery, that included lying about ones virginity. The non adulterer could remarry. The adulterer, and anyone marrying one, is entering a prohibited marriage. A divorce without cause, was no divorce, and so, another marriage was a type of bigamy. The exception is in 1Corinthians 7:15. If the unbeliever departs, the Christian can remarry because the marriage was not 'in the Lord'. Remarriage: Matthew 19:9, 1Corinthians 7:27-28.
Deuteronomy 22:17-19, 28-29, *24:1-4, Proverbs 2:17 (forsaketh husband), Isaiah 54:4-8, Jeremiah 3:1, Malachi 2:14-16, Matthew 5:31-32, 19:3-12, Mark 10:2-12, Luke 16:18, 1Corinthians 6:15-16, 7:10-17, 27-28.
---Glenn on 10/21/09


---metuschelah on 10/9/09

2Sa 3:14
And David sent messengers to Ishbosheth Saul's son, saying,
Deliver me my wife Michal,
which I espoused to me for an hundred foreskins of the Philistines.

2Sa 3:15
And Ishbosheth sent,
and took her from her husband,
even from Phaltiel the son of Laish.

2Sa 3:16
And her husband went with her along weeping behind her to Bahurim.
Then said Abner unto him,
Go, return. And he returned.
---SuzieH on 10/19/09


I to stand on the thought of asking GOD what you should do. He will not disappoint or not answer. I personally have read it was Jewish law, that you would be considered defiled, but Jesus said you are living in adultery now. Your first husband, from the way I understand it, is your covenant husband. When you make a covenant, GOD expects you to honor it. Jesus tell the young man in the Bible that we are supposed to forgive 70 times 7, which means there is no end to forgiveness. And you are supposed to have an unconditional love for your spouse. A love that says I don't care how you feel about me, or how you treat me, I am going to love you. As Christ loves the church. New testament as well.
---James on 10/19/09


This is not something you should handle alone. Seek God in Prayer and he will make the answers clear for you. May God abundantly bless you and give you peace.
---Miriam on 10/18/09


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How do you know she's "defiled"? Perhaps her ex-husband cheated on her, in which case she's not "defiled"! I do, however, think she is in a real mess and should not even consider leaving her second husband to go back to her first--yikes!
---Mary on 10/10/09


1 JOHN 1:8-9
8. If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. 9. If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.

No one is without sin. No not one. Jesus Christ who was Gods only begotten son was a sinless man. Jesus died and rose the 3rd day so that our sins could be forgiven.

If you trust Jesus Christ as your Lord and savior and ask for forgive of your sins He will forgive you.

You must be the one to decide about going back to your first husband. We all make mistakes.

cp
---Charles on 10/9/09


It is abomination, because you are defiled, defiled means that you have lain down with someone other than your first husband (deut 24:1-4).
---metuschelah on 10/9/09


Your Bible calls this an abomination...
---amand6348 on 10/7/09


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And betray yuor present husband?
---alan8566_of_uk on 10/6/09




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